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    You just bought yourself a one way ticket to pretzel town!

    By Hasselhoff
    Jan 27, '06 2:39 PM EST

    I've never been a fan of architectural jargon, but now it's just getting out of hand. The halls of Meyerson as riddled with complexity and non-linearity. The words are tossed around so frequently that they have lost all legitamacy. I'm going to rigorize me up some complex non-linearialitiness. There is a charette coming up entitled "Disaster Complexity." What's that? My personal favorite is the up coming exhibit of our History and Theory III projects. Oh, sorry, excuse me, "Architectures of Complexity" projects. I don't remember signing up for that class. I sat through something called History and Theory III as indicated on my transcript, schedule and syllabus. If I were to rename the class, I would have called it "Name dropping while showing bad Powerpoint slides of blobs and being unable to answer student questions"

    Anyway, we did some projects and they are putting them up in Deans Alley. Here is the graphic that accompanied the email announcement.

    image

    The caption was "Image: Oceanic Non-linear Dynamics, Temperature Gradients" Am I in the Geosciences division? I thought I left that when I graduated from undergrad. I sat through a lot of really technical lectures as an undergrad relating to this kind of stuff, and I have yet to hear an architect speak that has any clue what (s)he is talking about. Taking a swirly fractal after reading National Geographic or "String Theory for Architects," does not make real science.

    I have used some rigorised non-linearity to create this project which I submit for your approval. I call it "Contortionists Wedding Market." It uses complex forms and transparency to produce nondescript, uninhabitable, mixed use space.

    image



     
    • 8 Comments

    • liberty bell

      Hasselhoff oh my god I am laughing my ass off!

      But my mirth is tinged with concern. I hate hearing so much frustration in your posts. I hope you actually DO end up getting something good out of this "educational" process, be it linear or not.

      ...nondescript, uninhabitable, mixed use space Right on.

      Hang in there, hon (that's a South Philly woman's terminology for anyone younger than herself - maybe you need to get out of Meyerson and learn some jargon from the city).

      Jan 27, 06 2:50 pm  · 
       · 
      paranoid

      My favorite in the category of pure, uncut bullshit is the faculty interest poster. For those who don't know, it's a roster of our faculty with a pithy non-sensical pairing of words to describe their areas of research ("Intensive Construction" or "Topographical Stories"). It's almost like they used a randomizer and a database of multi-syllabic pseudo-scientific words. It reminds me of the pretentious new economy mba jargon from the late 90's ("hyper-maximized vertical markets", "ear balls", etc.).

      For sheer satire, nothing beats the "Urinate Complexity" grafitti on the wall of the 3rd floor men's bathroom.

      Jan 27, 06 2:58 pm  · 
       · 
      Marlin

      "Red Thing". Sheer satire.

      ~marlin

      Jan 27, 06 5:16 pm  · 
       · 
      THREADS

      thank you for being so open. It must be belmond.

      Jan 27, 06 6:28 pm  · 
       · 
      lifeform

      it is sad when an entire school attempts to uniform its student output as a form of archi-educational branding. even the AA although having a simialr output or student "brand" has more diversity. u penn should diversify its faculty fast or it is going to implode.

      hasselhoff, you should rebel from within, fight for NONformal complexity.

      to think how easy it would be to be a rebel there. if you made something linear that was monolithic and had circulation in the middle and had other legible volumes off of it and then tweeked one thing, just one thing -- like a semi-mirror sheen surface. or a stair without stringers, or a subtle array of perforations. this project would stick out like a radical proposition.

      I can see the critics befuddled : "But, uh, why is it so simple? Why can I actually understand the project but yet still have so many questions?"

      minimalism stumbles up those catalytic fetishistias everytime!

      Jan 27, 06 6:56 pm  · 
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      vado retro

      lemme show you MY red thing...


      Jan 28, 06 9:04 am  · 
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      brand avenue

      It's amazing how little time it took for Penn to veer off to theoryland. I knew a certain departmental head was bad news as soon as he opened his mouth.

      Just start walking out of class. You won't miss anything.

      Jan 29, 06 4:27 pm  · 
       · 
      THREADS

      I would not judge too quickly. Penn is still a very exciting program right now

      Jan 29, 06 4:55 pm  · 
       · 

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