Jan '05 - Jan '07
looking back i have noticed i avoided all the time to post pictures of projects or work from my school. why?!
for me the answer is easy and sad. it's again the story of the first three years of school which were fab, and the last 2 which were ... i can't even describe it, something like a flat, straight line.
i won't dramatize it and say it's been that bad (it's been that bad!), i have put some work in the projects, but i didn't felt things evolved quite like they should have, i haven't felt any evolution or results from the discussions in the studio.
for me, all these latest projects have been something like a first sketch which could have turned into something nice. in the end, some things were made just to see how far i can go with bull****. and i noticed bull**** works.
with the nostalgia of 1st and 2nd year, i feel my senses are asleep and i'm trying to proove myself again i can do it, something.
the entrance exam wasn't quite a hit, i had expected more. i found myself in a school of which i heard was 'awfully hard', 'disastrous', 'impossible' etc. i let myself intimidated, wondered if i was fit, if i could finish this quest.
in the first exam session i had a day i'll never forget. they gave us 5 out of the total of 8 grades, and most of them were 10 (out of 10). it wasn't the quest to get good grades, i was never a freak in that way, but the confirmation that i can do things if i want to and that i didn't had to subscribe to the general 'it's impossible'.
i don't feel i ever worked for grades 'cause they don't really say anything, but i worked because i can't (by nature) make a project just for the sake of having something to show to the teacher.
strangely enough things haven't changed even in the last couple of years, when my intrest diminished and the situations sucked.
i have now 2 more semesters. i look back with a smile and long for the feeling of those first years in school.