Jan '05 - Jan '07
Try to remember how it's like to wake up in a good mood on what seems to be a good day.
Your eyes are open and look at the room as if they hadn't seen it ever before. For the first time they are not disturbed by the ugly furniture, not glad to see the nice furniture, not disturbed by the mess, by the clothes laying around, not enjoyed by the brands written on them. The steps don't bear the heaviness from your shoulders anymore. They don't seem to mind touching the cold floor. You are easy. Your senses enjoy every single excitation, as if they are on their own, with no connection to the brain to tell them to avoid everything that disturbs His majesty, your Comfort.
The sun caresses your skin which seems to let go of the tension at the sun's touch. I always envied cats for their expression of intense pleasure they have while laying in a warm place.
The TV is fighting to bring you back to the terrifying world of breaking news, to remind you that you can't just wake up and enjoy everything. He has the leading part, not you, so please, obey. Unplugged, he frustrated shuts down, not understanding how you can act so irresponsible, not giving a damn about what he has to say. His little brother, the radio, takes over the fight, screaming out loud some bad ”˜music'. You can even hear the echo from the singer's empty head. But funny enough, through the radio they just can't inoculate you how ugly and imperfect you are. Too bad. Off. Silence. For once I can think about what I want and not about what I have to.
You have 6 new emails. On a normal day, a feast. Press windows +u + u, ordering him to shut down. In a desperate moment he shows you 2 new messages on msn and the fact they have new emoticons on yahoo. Google is also waiting to throw him the ball so he can show me how fast he can bring millions of other balls back. All in just one second.
The coffee he made for you is waiting in the kitchen. He never finds the right mix, the one you've been desperately explaining to him, but before the liquid meets your tongue, you notice coffee never tasted so good before. Not because he made it right, but because he made it for you, this and every other morning.
The last spy survived by now but he was just discovered. 4 missed calls, 6 sms. Turn off. Are you sure you want to turn me off? Oh, yes. Outrageous. What if you miss that phone call that will turn you into a star or the project that can get you in architecture history books?
I find myself surrounded by lots of things. Half of them I have never used, half I don't even know what they are good for but they are just ”˜nice'. Unless you have them, you can't validate your metropolitan life. Incredible that just yesterday I felt that my life couldn't go on unless I had that pair of shoes/ book/ cd etc. They were going to ”˜show me the road'. Today they are just a silly, empty shell. Today even the disguised objects that are hiding their purpose in a funny shape, designed to be taken too seriously, seem silly.
But today I am easy. imperfections make everything perfect.
If I were a cat I would purr.