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    I just want to be myself this time

    By dibster
    Aug 6, '06 8:42 PM EST

    the semester officially starts today.Its going to be the typical briefing and go through the handbook lecture today and i wonder what will be our focus this year. But all i really want is to be myself this time.

    I just want to be myself this time. I want to explore design and create and not create 'something elegant' because my tutor wants it. I don't want to churn out drawings just because my tutor says 'i want to see 5 schemes for next studio session'

    I just want to be myself this time. I want to question and explore the design issues and research it from my own angle. Not research what my tutor wants me to although i don't believe in it. I want to solve and explore using my own logic and not someone else's.

    I just want to be myself this time. I don't want to spend hours in studio cramming over books. I realise that's not me. I want to go out and learn from the world. Learn through experience and internalise these experiences into mine.

    I just want to be myself this time. I want to be able to look at my work and say "this is me". I want to enjoy the journey and let the journey change me and let me change the journey.

    I will be myself this time.


    • I empathise. Thing is, you're presumably looking for someone else to award you a degree. Looking for someone else to trust you to design their buildings. Ergo, it will never be just about you.
      But a desire to 'find' yourself I consider most laudible. This was done to reasonable effect in the olden days at the likes of Cambridge and Oxford universities in England. The course in 'finding onesself' could be subtitled 'scraping through with a third' [class degree.]
      In such times, the idea was that gifted students would either get a Double First (they 'went with the programme' and won) or a Third (they disagreed with the programme and stayed, generally, away.)
      Second Class degrees were for the middle rankers who tried but didn't quite make the grade...

      Apart from me, of course, who gained an Upper Second from Edinburgh in 1994: I eventually found my true path towards a third, but too late...

      Aug 8, 06 6:08 pm  · 

      yeah..i get what you mean. In fact thats what i've been doing over the last 3 years in architecture school. Those projects that i felt very challenged with and felt good abt it got me a C grade while those that i thought didn't deserve anything more than a B- got an A. And of course those that i played safe, got a B.

      So, here i am at the cross roads. Having experienced it, where do i want to go from here? What does it mean to be in architecture school?

      From my short stay in the field of architecture, its hard to find firms that really bother to see what goes on in these projects. Some just look at the grades while some just flip through the presentation panels. Pretty stuff gets one employed sometimes.

      But, the internal struggle continues i suppose. What do i want to be?

      Aug 8, 06 11:11 pm  · 

      I understand how you feel. There were many times in studio where I felt that the professor cared more about pushing his or her own angenda instead of assisting me in developing my own ideas. How much do you rely on what your professor says? What advice to do take, and what advice do you choose to ignore? Its always a struggle trying to find your own voice.
      Good luck to you, and I hope that you find a balance between your ideas and the knowledge of your teachers. Don't be afraid to stand behind a project that you believe in and see it through to the end.

      Aug 10, 06 1:29 pm  · 

      I listened to my critic too much one semester and ended up with a pile of poop. I had like 12903834 ideas mixed into a turd.

      Aug 11, 06 1:06 am  · 

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