today has been excruciating for me. yesterday was the GF's birthday, so we took long lunch, ate a lot, went out after work to a hookah bar/restaurant, at some more, drank, smoked, walked across the street to another bar, drank some more, went to bed too late, had trouble waking up this morning...
2:30 EST...time to go home and take a nap. Mom's coming to visit tonight through Sunday...
I'm really stuck on that article yesterday about Best Buy's new work environment. It seems like it would solve a lot of problems in my life if I could operate this way. I called in late this morning in protest of our current, rigid system. I'm also trying to be more productive this afternoon out of spite.
Then again I get to play in Illustrator so that's always fun for me.
I've adjusted my work schedule to the changes in my environment. As winter approaches and the days get shorter, I come in later and leave earlier. In the summer, I was a pretty strict 7:30 to 4:30. As fall rolled around, it became 8 to 4:15. Nowadays, it has become 8:30 to 4. Maybe when spring rolls around the trend will reverse... Maybe not.
Got it, treekiller, thanks. That was inordinately helpful. I had to look up some of the words you used, but it makes sense now. :)
WonderK, I've never understood why arch. firms are so rigid. Aren't we all professionals? Do we need to all be there at the same time? What if we work better after hours? Seems stupid to keep people trapped at the office at times when they may not even be naturally productive.
we supposedly have this flexible time to a great degree, but there are still social pressures, like glaring looks for coming in at 10:00 (it doesn't matter how late you stay) or leaving at 2:00 on Friday even if you are well beyond a 40 hour work week and are slow.
The principal couldn't care less, it's the coworkers that gossip and mutter under their breath about so 'n' so being "late" and "sneaking out early".
3:30 on a Friday afternoon. I've finished everything that I had to get done this week. Pushing the new work back to Monday. Gonna go upperdeck the john down the hall!
phew, Strawbeary, good to know!! I think we've been hearing the worst of coworker actions lately. (Eating other people's lunches? Talking really loudly next to your desk? Undercutting you in front of your boss? Eek!)
When I was at a tiny firm, however, I missed having coworkers.
whew! got to tc just in time to keep it on the first page.
so news of my week. life is starting to get back to normal now that i have $$ rolling in every 15 days with the paycheck.
made an official appearance at CDES as a juror for 3rd year undergrad- that was fun! looking at the lack of resolution or development made me nostalgic for my undisciplined immaturity daze at knowlton.
my tribal casino project got the GMP $$$ info last monday. now we have to trim 10%... and we've also heard for the nth time that the client/contractor hates trespa. big meeting monday with the contractor and all the consultants to hash out what goes.
will we substitute kalwall for pilkington planar on my entry canopy? will it be the $4000/sf illuminated/animated bar top? or the custom 3form glowingtwisting column cladding? maybe the heated driveway? or the 1000' of skylights abover the casino floor (only $17/sf)? or maybe the $75/ft LED lighting? it will be interesting to see the politics at work and what survives...
Got an email from archinect's very own fabulous Heather Ring who is safely esconced in ol' blighty. she wrote a good tale, but will let her tell it in person.
in a few, I'll be heading up to the north woods for lunch with my grandmother in law- she's celebrating her big nine fiver.. I'll pass along everybodies cheers to lucy.
On a completely unrelated topic, I took my cat to the vet yesterday to get all of her vaccines and rabies shots updated, and this all hurt her so bad that she came home with a limp. It's the saddest thing I've ever seen. She's just a little old lady cat, and now she can't even jump up on the bed on her own. I feel like I should get her a little kitty walker or something!!!
Oh my goodness WK your cat is insanely cute. You caught her in such an unladylike half-pose, however! It makes for an adorable pic but the poor girl is probably burning with shame. ;)
ha ha, thanks. She is darn cute. She's a little fur ball. She just kind of rolls around and licks different patches of fur at random. But, don't we all? :o)
Here's a pic I took on my camera phone right after we got her shaved over the summer. Well, she was 75% shaved. She got so angry we had to quit and go back the following week. This is her "are you kidding me?" look.
DubK, your cat is adorable, that pic is so perfect. I hope she stops being sore soon.
Steven, Adeline just gets more and more beautiful. She looks so amazingly cute in that outfit.
I haven't checked flickr lately, been a busy weekend. Spent today in a flurry of holiday-related activity to try to help me forget some business-related stress that I may go post about on the "Got your own firm?" thread now, if I can write about it in a way that doesn't sound whiny. But I also have presents I have to get wrapped and mailed tomorrow, so I may not.
I'll post it here because I did my thing on the ya got your own firm thread and managed (I think) to keep it fairly professional: I'm super stressed out about an action that seems insignificant but I think points to a larger problem in my professional life: my partner, together with his boyfriend and two other couples, had a big-deal, super-fancy holiday cocktail party at his house on Saturday. All his friends, lots of our former clients. I wasn't invited. But then I basically invited myself when I found out a potential client was going to be there who I felt I needed to meet. And my partner was all embarrassed and awkward about the fact that he hadn't invited me, and I was all embarrassed and awkward too. So I went to the party and felt awkward and out of place all evening - yay, I love when that happens!!
I just can't work out for myself if it's a high school popularity thing or a professional respect thing that is bugging me. I'm pissed off and frustrated and can't figure out how to categorize the whole situation. Going into business with friends can be very confusing.
But hey I made about 16 dozen Christmas cookies today and now I'm off to package them up for my family. A concentrated burst of effort really does help alleviate stress, ya know?
That's very strange, lb. My best gay friend is a bit snobby but I know that if he and the boyfriend had a party like that, I would still be invited, partners or not. And he lives in New York, too.
How did you handle it? How was the business situation/relationship before this? Do you two communicate often?
I have no idea if this is TC appropriate or not, but here it is anyway.
I just think that's tacky on his part. If he's going to invite bunches of clients, then that means he should have given you a thought. If it's just friends of a degree of closeness that excludes you, then what are clients doing there?
I mean, my reaction would definitely have been to feel very bad about the whole thing, because I hate not being invited, and I would worry over all the possible implications. But whenever I worry too much over things, it always ends up being the simplest answer that explains them all. And something very natural that I needed have worried over.
Maybe he just wanted a break from you.
Breaks make all relationships better. And not only that, but maybe he needed a break from work, from things that remind him of work. Perhaps he didn't want to have to make an impression on a potential client, invitee or no. Maybe he just wanted to have a fun soiree and leave the marketing for another time. He may have specifically not invited you so as to not feel pressured himself to act a certain way. Y'know? I'm sure we've all felt that way, many times. Same thing as not wanting to invite coworkers. Or even--gasp--significant others. Being partners in a firm is a similar relationship, no?
All this to say: I think you should just straight up ask him, right away tomorrow. Say, "you know what, it's totally been bugging me that I wasn't invited to your party. I know deep down that you thought it through and didn't want to invite me, and I want you to know that I understand, I don't always want you around either, as much as I love you. But, for some reason this is just worrying away at me. Can you tell me why you didn't want me there? And please be honest with me, so we can get back to work. I'd really feel better if I knew."
You both have to be honest with each other to make a partnership work, right? That includes telling him how you feel about the party. And he should listen and explain.
It could also, of course, be that he really did intend to get business done at the party, and thinks of you as a sort of half-partner or junior partner. But even if that's the case, it's important to talk about it honestly and clear the air.
Also, you wrote a really good review over on the small firm thread. Thank you for your input--no one had written about that aspect yet, and it seems very important to consider!
i work FOR someone with whom i've been friends for 12 yrs. now that i work in the office, our social interaction is much diminished. i think that this is natural, maybe even necessary....and likely to be handled in an awkward manner as both sides figure out the evolving nature of the relationship.
and anyway i would have astonished them all with the story of my friend who went from living in a welfare motel to living in an 18,000 square foot mansion in pacific heights!
LB, that sucks. I can't figure out why that would happen.
Talk about going behind one's back: Late this morning a 3rd team member joined the project and comes to me to get the low-down and see what's going on. As I begin to tell her, ms roger comes over, interrupts, talks over me, and in her best grown up voice informs us (complete with little side to side head wags, you know what I mean) that we have committed to her plan and need to have everything ready to send off to the client today. I tell her that is news to me as we haven't gotten x, y and z resolved. I ignore her (so does the 3rd person), and go on. Ms roger goes and gets the principal, who comes back and asks me if I can get the site plan to work out per the "chosen" floor plan while ms thang develops the "architecture" around the fireplace, and is gone before I can protest. That damn fireplace.
Turns out, Friday after I left (after 6:00 pm), ms. "roger" approached the principal about sending her plan to the client and they agreed that after she cleaned it up a bit on Monday, she could send it off as a review plan for feedback. Now the 3rd person, (close to my level) is taking delegation from her also.
So I just got demoted to "the intern's cad monkey" over the weekend. We will have my business cards reprinted later this month. Today's going great!
Oh, forgot to mention that she told the principal that it's unfortunate that I already set up x-refs "with the wrong plans" and now we will have to go and fix them all.
OK, Strawbeary, in the mood I'm in today, I would gladly stomp on that chick's foot with my Donald J. Pliner stiletto boot heel. Then kick her in the shin - my toes are super pointy, too.
That's just bullshit. Mean people are so awful. If the plan truly has all the mistakes/missing issues you raised before, then this whole "review" set is a huge fucking waste of time and will end up costing everyone more money to resolve.
Strawbeary, I seriously can't take this anymore. Something has got to give. Either you need to give all of us her phone number so we can start crank calling her in the middle of the night, or you need to stop talking about it. Because it's driving me crazy and I'm at least 1200 miles away from you!
Better yet, can you give us her email address? We'll sign her up for every porn site in the Northern Hemisphere.....
I'm feeling feisty today because I can't remember a Monday when I've been so productive. Last time was maybe June. Maybe.
Also, for chrissake, you don't send initial plans "off" to the Owner to review on their own! You have to walk them through it or they'll get hysterical about some minor thing and you'll spend weeks recovering!
Speaking of hysterical, that is me right now. I'm gonna go.
I agree. This is ricockulous. Go see human resources. NOW. Tell them that this chick needs to be reminded of her place, and that you haven't worked all these years to put up with this manipulative crap. If she can't be controlled, ask to be placed on a different project. Then when the person put on the project with her has the same problems, they'll see how it is.
I offered to give her a woop'n about a week ago and I live a lot closer than some of you guys so I'll be happy to oblige :) But I love DubK's idea! Bravo.
Thread Central
awwwwww.
well isn't that sweet...
today has been excruciating for me. yesterday was the GF's birthday, so we took long lunch, ate a lot, went out after work to a hookah bar/restaurant, at some more, drank, smoked, walked across the street to another bar, drank some more, went to bed too late, had trouble waking up this morning...
2:30 EST...time to go home and take a nap. Mom's coming to visit tonight through Sunday...
have a great weekend everyone.
myriam- I'm writing a book in responce to your question... (those pics hopefully will get included)
teasing Steven!
Bye AP. Have a good weekend.
I'm really stuck on that article yesterday about Best Buy's new work environment. It seems like it would solve a lot of problems in my life if I could operate this way. I called in late this morning in protest of our current, rigid system. I'm also trying to be more productive this afternoon out of spite.
Then again I get to play in Illustrator so that's always fun for me.
I've adjusted my work schedule to the changes in my environment. As winter approaches and the days get shorter, I come in later and leave earlier. In the summer, I was a pretty strict 7:30 to 4:30. As fall rolled around, it became 8 to 4:15. Nowadays, it has become 8:30 to 4. Maybe when spring rolls around the trend will reverse... Maybe not.
Got it, treekiller, thanks. That was inordinately helpful. I had to look up some of the words you used, but it makes sense now. :)
WonderK, I've never understood why arch. firms are so rigid. Aren't we all professionals? Do we need to all be there at the same time? What if we work better after hours? Seems stupid to keep people trapped at the office at times when they may not even be naturally productive.
we supposedly have this flexible time to a great degree, but there are still social pressures, like glaring looks for coming in at 10:00 (it doesn't matter how late you stay) or leaving at 2:00 on Friday even if you are well beyond a 40 hour work week and are slow.
The principal couldn't care less, it's the coworkers that gossip and mutter under their breath about so 'n' so being "late" and "sneaking out early".
I think I hate your coworkers, Strawbeary.
m- sorry for using big words not in an architects vocabulary. i forget that most of you aren't 'scapers who understand hydrology speak
vado, if you sweet-talk her as well as you sweet-talk all us gals on archinect, you'll get yourself a date!
And she did laugh quite a bit at the joke you cracked in her presence...success!
Don't worry, treekiller, I like to learn!
aw, myriam, don't say that. I don't write about the GOOD things about my coworkers cause that stuff isn't interesting.
3:30 on a Friday afternoon. I've finished everything that I had to get done this week. Pushing the new work back to Monday. Gonna go upperdeck the john down the hall!
phew, Strawbeary, good to know!! I think we've been hearing the worst of coworker actions lately. (Eating other people's lunches? Talking really loudly next to your desk? Undercutting you in front of your boss? Eek!)
When I was at a tiny firm, however, I missed having coworkers.
whew! got to tc just in time to keep it on the first page.
so news of my week. life is starting to get back to normal now that i have $$ rolling in every 15 days with the paycheck.
made an official appearance at CDES as a juror for 3rd year undergrad- that was fun! looking at the lack of resolution or development made me nostalgic for my undisciplined immaturity daze at knowlton.
my tribal casino project got the GMP $$$ info last monday. now we have to trim 10%... and we've also heard for the nth time that the client/contractor hates trespa. big meeting monday with the contractor and all the consultants to hash out what goes.
will we substitute kalwall for pilkington planar on my entry canopy? will it be the $4000/sf illuminated/animated bar top? or the custom 3form glowingtwisting column cladding? maybe the heated driveway? or the 1000' of skylights abover the casino floor (only $17/sf)? or maybe the $75/ft LED lighting? it will be interesting to see the politics at work and what survives...
Got an email from archinect's very own fabulous Heather Ring who is safely esconced in ol' blighty. she wrote a good tale, but will let her tell it in person.
in a few, I'll be heading up to the north woods for lunch with my grandmother in law- she's celebrating her big nine fiver.. I'll pass along everybodies cheers to lucy.
Nice work tk.
On a completely unrelated topic, I took my cat to the vet yesterday to get all of her vaccines and rabies shots updated, and this all hurt her so bad that she came home with a limp. It's the saddest thing I've ever seen. She's just a little old lady cat, and now she can't even jump up on the bed on her own. I feel like I should get her a little kitty walker or something!!!
Oh my goodness WK your cat is insanely cute. You caught her in such an unladylike half-pose, however! It makes for an adorable pic but the poor girl is probably burning with shame. ;)
Makes me miss my cat.
RIP, Jed.
awwwww- i could post similar pics of my boy cat, but then I do respect his pride...
oh man she is so cute. i just keep looking at her. oh man oh man. you are lucky WK.
ha ha, thanks. She is darn cute. She's a little fur ball. She just kind of rolls around and licks different patches of fur at random. But, don't we all? :o)
Here's a pic I took on my camera phone right after we got her shaved over the summer. Well, she was 75% shaved. She got so angry we had to quit and go back the following week. This is her "are you kidding me?" look.
[img]
http://static.flickr.com/124/319100359_2ca86edcd6.jpg?v=0 width=300[/img]
Well crap.
ok. the cat's getting more oohs and aahs than my daughter did. adeline's getting jealous...
(well no, actually, she saw the cat on the screen and started walking around the house, flailing her arms, saying 'ca..' 'ca..' 'ca..'.)
oh man, i can't take this.
look at her fucking EYES!!! They are soooo blue!
Well done, steven! well done!
aww, i want a cat and a cute little girl!
I did see that picture on Flickr, Steven and meant to tell you how gorgeous it is. You are good at that 3/4 of a person, offset type photo!
And she is adorable. Her little coat looks like it could have been made out of my cat's fur after the shaving, lol.
we checked. the 'fur' is all artifical materials.
she's never still; thus the unconventional framing lately. but i do like it.
have a good evening everyone!
DubK, your cat is adorable, that pic is so perfect. I hope she stops being sore soon.
Steven, Adeline just gets more and more beautiful. She looks so amazingly cute in that outfit.
I haven't checked flickr lately, been a busy weekend. Spent today in a flurry of holiday-related activity to try to help me forget some business-related stress that I may go post about on the "Got your own firm?" thread now, if I can write about it in a way that doesn't sound whiny. But I also have presents I have to get wrapped and mailed tomorrow, so I may not.
Oh and has the Post a Response box gotten big (or is it just happy to see me?)
No, I think it has gotten big(ger). AND it's happy to see you.
I know, my joke didn't quite work out.
I'll post it here because I did my thing on the ya got your own firm thread and managed (I think) to keep it fairly professional: I'm super stressed out about an action that seems insignificant but I think points to a larger problem in my professional life: my partner, together with his boyfriend and two other couples, had a big-deal, super-fancy holiday cocktail party at his house on Saturday. All his friends, lots of our former clients. I wasn't invited. But then I basically invited myself when I found out a potential client was going to be there who I felt I needed to meet. And my partner was all embarrassed and awkward about the fact that he hadn't invited me, and I was all embarrassed and awkward too. So I went to the party and felt awkward and out of place all evening - yay, I love when that happens!!
I just can't work out for myself if it's a high school popularity thing or a professional respect thing that is bugging me. I'm pissed off and frustrated and can't figure out how to categorize the whole situation. Going into business with friends can be very confusing.
But hey I made about 16 dozen Christmas cookies today and now I'm off to package them up for my family. A concentrated burst of effort really does help alleviate stress, ya know?
That's very strange, lb. My best gay friend is a bit snobby but I know that if he and the boyfriend had a party like that, I would still be invited, partners or not. And he lives in New York, too.
How did you handle it? How was the business situation/relationship before this? Do you two communicate often?
I have no idea if this is TC appropriate or not, but here it is anyway.
I just think that's tacky on his part. If he's going to invite bunches of clients, then that means he should have given you a thought. If it's just friends of a degree of closeness that excludes you, then what are clients doing there?
Maybe he just, honestly, needed a break from you?
I mean, my reaction would definitely have been to feel very bad about the whole thing, because I hate not being invited, and I would worry over all the possible implications. But whenever I worry too much over things, it always ends up being the simplest answer that explains them all. And something very natural that I needed have worried over.
Maybe he just wanted a break from you.
Breaks make all relationships better. And not only that, but maybe he needed a break from work, from things that remind him of work. Perhaps he didn't want to have to make an impression on a potential client, invitee or no. Maybe he just wanted to have a fun soiree and leave the marketing for another time. He may have specifically not invited you so as to not feel pressured himself to act a certain way. Y'know? I'm sure we've all felt that way, many times. Same thing as not wanting to invite coworkers. Or even--gasp--significant others. Being partners in a firm is a similar relationship, no?
All this to say: I think you should just straight up ask him, right away tomorrow. Say, "you know what, it's totally been bugging me that I wasn't invited to your party. I know deep down that you thought it through and didn't want to invite me, and I want you to know that I understand, I don't always want you around either, as much as I love you. But, for some reason this is just worrying away at me. Can you tell me why you didn't want me there? And please be honest with me, so we can get back to work. I'd really feel better if I knew."
You both have to be honest with each other to make a partnership work, right? That includes telling him how you feel about the party. And he should listen and explain.
It could also, of course, be that he really did intend to get business done at the party, and thinks of you as a sort of half-partner or junior partner. But even if that's the case, it's important to talk about it honestly and clear the air.
Also, you wrote a really good review over on the small firm thread. Thank you for your input--no one had written about that aspect yet, and it seems very important to consider!
liberty you have every right to question his motives, especially since yours/his CLIENTS were invited.
i would be suspicious, trust your instincts, ask that if clients are involved that you both be there. not only fair, but reasonable.
you could leave some fresh homemade cookies on his desk and make him feel really sheepish and guilty.
but that might be a little passive/aggressive, huh? (bad steven, bad steven!)
i work FOR someone with whom i've been friends for 12 yrs. now that i work in the office, our social interaction is much diminished. i think that this is natural, maybe even necessary....and likely to be handled in an awkward manner as both sides figure out the evolving nature of the relationship.
i love the catfur coat on your daughter steven!
59 woohoo and also, i should have been invited cuz i am good at cocktail party talk!!! im pissed at him!
and anyway i would have astonished them all with the story of my friend who went from living in a welfare motel to living in an 18,000 square foot mansion in pacific heights!
LB, that sucks. I can't figure out why that would happen.
Talk about going behind one's back: Late this morning a 3rd team member joined the project and comes to me to get the low-down and see what's going on. As I begin to tell her, ms roger comes over, interrupts, talks over me, and in her best grown up voice informs us (complete with little side to side head wags, you know what I mean) that we have committed to her plan and need to have everything ready to send off to the client today. I tell her that is news to me as we haven't gotten x, y and z resolved. I ignore her (so does the 3rd person), and go on. Ms roger goes and gets the principal, who comes back and asks me if I can get the site plan to work out per the "chosen" floor plan while ms thang develops the "architecture" around the fireplace, and is gone before I can protest. That damn fireplace.
Turns out, Friday after I left (after 6:00 pm), ms. "roger" approached the principal about sending her plan to the client and they agreed that after she cleaned it up a bit on Monday, she could send it off as a review plan for feedback. Now the 3rd person, (close to my level) is taking delegation from her also.
So I just got demoted to "the intern's cad monkey" over the weekend. We will have my business cards reprinted later this month. Today's going great!
Oh, forgot to mention that she told the principal that it's unfortunate that I already set up x-refs "with the wrong plans" and now we will have to go and fix them all.
OK, Strawbeary, in the mood I'm in today, I would gladly stomp on that chick's foot with my Donald J. Pliner stiletto boot heel. Then kick her in the shin - my toes are super pointy, too.
That's just bullshit. Mean people are so awful. If the plan truly has all the mistakes/missing issues you raised before, then this whole "review" set is a huge fucking waste of time and will end up costing everyone more money to resolve.
I hate the world today.
somethin's fishy in CO, strawbeary. there's more to this...
Strawbeary, I seriously can't take this anymore. Something has got to give. Either you need to give all of us her phone number so we can start crank calling her in the middle of the night, or you need to stop talking about it. Because it's driving me crazy and I'm at least 1200 miles away from you!
Better yet, can you give us her email address? We'll sign her up for every porn site in the Northern Hemisphere.....
I'm feeling feisty today because I can't remember a Monday when I've been so productive. Last time was maybe June. Maybe.
Also, for chrissake, you don't send initial plans "off" to the Owner to review on their own! You have to walk them through it or they'll get hysterical about some minor thing and you'll spend weeks recovering!
Speaking of hysterical, that is me right now. I'm gonna go.
Oh god DubK that's hilarious - get her email address!
I agree. This is ricockulous. Go see human resources. NOW. Tell them that this chick needs to be reminded of her place, and that you haven't worked all these years to put up with this manipulative crap. If she can't be controlled, ask to be placed on a different project. Then when the person put on the project with her has the same problems, they'll see how it is.
I offered to give her a woop'n about a week ago and I live a lot closer than some of you guys so I'll be happy to oblige :) But I love DubK's idea! Bravo.
Block this user
Are you sure you want to block this user and hide all related comments throughout the site?
Archinect
This is your first comment on Archinect. Your comment will be visible once approved.