I've been neglecting my duties as a blogger on this website, and I'm not really quite sure why. I think it may be that I'm becoming uneasy with how to speak about my work and others. A subconscious deflection of responsibilities that I signed up for two years ago. The more time I invest in Architecture and theory, the more I become confused as to where my position is within the field. I haven't identified a solid Project that significantly interests me, one that I can explore in every project. Although, I can list things that always catch my interest, I just haven't been able to distill it into one categorizable thing that will encapsulate my school work and my interests outside of school.

Part of my withdrawal from this blog, and sometimes my work is that I did not realize how consuming the work would be. I don't know how many times I've been told "there is no life outside of architecture, if you want to succeed then you need to allow the discipline to consume you whole". I don't believe in this philosophy and I don't know how many other people agree with it either, but just happily shake their heads and say "yeah" when they hear it. I think that this is one of the main reasons why so many architects are married to social workers - to pull them back into society and make them understand who they're creating architecture for.

As of this year, I've made a pact with myself to not sit around and drone on about architecture and the properties it contains. But, it is difficult to make this effort when the people I'm spending most of my time around only talk about studio, their architecture jobs (past and present), and don't understand why I'm so resistant to the constant chatter of our work.

I am incredibly fortunate to be able to go to school, and to study architecture, I am just trying to reconcile the life I thought I would have and the life I currently have. I never thought I would question going home to attend a family reunion because of studio work that hasn't been assigned yet.

I can't say I'm questioning my choice, because I am not. I'll be happy to have the degree and begin looking for a place in a non-existent job market. But, I am questioning the amount of devotion I'm expected to have to a single idea and field. I know I will love the work, but will I love the work for 90 hours a week for years? I'm not so sure. I am not a machine, and neither are my peers. I get grumpy, sneezy, sleepy, dopey, bashful and doc just like every other person on the planet.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: What is Architecture and why does it require so much effort to figure it out, do it and the analyze it? I don't have an answer and that is why I'm sitting here referencing Snow White and Seven Dwarfs. And that is why I've been hesitant to post on the blog and talk about my work because I don't even fully know what it is yet or how it functions in the built world and discipline. I guess, all I can do is trying thinking differently and changing the way I currently go about things.

And, so, to end this, some photos of things I like:

BCN Barca Barci Catalunya Barcelona You can call it whatever you want… But, this is where I'll be living for the next three months. THANK GOD! Chicago is too harsh. I'll take stressful traveling, cracked mac pro screen, visa concerns, broken hot water heaters, 50degree weather, rainy days... View full entry

I find this to be more interesting than architecture, sometimes:: View full entry

One of the beautiful things about attending UIC is the opportunity to travel worldwide for extended periods. We are accompanied by our talented faculty that have lived, worked and played in the cities that we reside in. Which means we aren't subjected to horrible tour buses or other inane touristy... View full entry

When finals are done and you feel like this... because you've been doing too much of this... and your friends keep talking you into doing this... and all you dream about is doing this... but people keep waking you... What are you supposed to do? Scream? Put your hands in the air? View full entry

This is what my theory paper looks like using the website www.wordle.net This paper is due in 12 hours... do you think I can turn it in like this? View full entry

Last semester was a cake-walk compared to this semester. ...That's really all I have to say... Oh, and I like this stuff: View full entry

So, it's been over a week and I've taken some time to reflect on this past semester... There is really only one thing that I know for sure: I have no idea what I'm doing. Although, the things that I think I know have increased exponentially. I've spent a great deal of time worrying over my studio... View full entry

The past few weeks have been active and, as always, frustrating. I don't think that it's possible for me to ever feel content or un-frustrated (if that's a word) with my time in studio. I'm still getting use to speaking in front of people, I've always found it to be hard... especially when they... View full entry

I witnessed history this week. I watched the first black man accept the role of President of the United States of America and I couldn't be more stunned, amazed, silenced, relieved, proud, rejuvenated, excited... To go to Grant Park and to sit with my peers was an affirmation that the future of... View full entry

Well, the past few weeks have been active... We have been given a new project for the second half of the semester. To begin, we had to build a scaled model of East St. Louis including a 3D print of the St. Louis Arch. As a studio, we work pretty well together when are able to self-govern and... View full entry

Time: 5:56pm Meals: 2 Life: On Pause ______________________ Quote of the Week: "You know what, as long as mine looks really cool, I don't REALLY care if it worked." - Jared ______________________ Half of our midterms are over... We had a great critique last night that was equally informative and... View full entry

At the request of a few... here are the more pertinent photographs from our day. IBM Building 330 N Wabash IIT Campus Random Residence Hall Post Office 200 S Clark Calder A wonderful contrast to the dark, steel Mies buildings. View full entry

So! We have the beautiful ability of seeing Mies upclose and personally... which is exactly what Catherine and I did this morning... we communed with the Master of Proportion... we drank Intelligentsia with the Creator of Corners... we jumped at the sight of the physical manifestation of his... View full entry

And then I realize I decided to actually make money with my interests. Don't worry - you're not alone - I had to google "dilettante" as well. It's a good word, right? ...Your grandma could definitely cross-stich that on a hand towel and sell it... ______________________________ Time: 9:17pm Hours... View full entry

Some of us find inspiration in chocolate... others find it in quotes. Thanks to Thomas for sending me this: Art is always at its greatest before it reaches perfection. It is in that period when it struggles to assert itself that lies its power. Great art is always vibrant with spirit &ndash... View full entry

________________ ........... ________________ Peter Eisenman came by yesterday for our typical Monday night lecture... He definitely kicked of this semester's lecture series with a bang... or a wow, if you will. Or possibly a wow-wow... While I would like to say that my understanding of the... View full entry

Time of Day: 6:09pm Hours of Sleep: 4 Espresso shots: 3 Minutes spent in the sun: 47 Meals eaten: 1 Website: www.pandora.com Thought: I can't wait to get my grubby little hands on the laser cutter... Architecture School: Endless ___________________________________ I am assuming that we are... View full entry

So, we have finished one class for each course we are taking this semester... and my penchant procrastination has already reared it's ugly head. I have successfully caught up with every person I have ever considered to be a friend... Made plans for future engagements... and played in a large city... View full entry

The intense two week seminar called Bootcamp (fatigues not necessary - but a sturdy helmet and elbow pads might not hurt) that I have been told (or warned) about since my acceptance into UIC's three year program is more than half over... now I must ask myself: is it Architecture or Architorture?... View full entry