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Donna, I hear the town of Aspen is short on sex therapists.

Jul 22, 13 7:59 am
vado retro

i remember that conversation.

Jul 22, 13 8:49 am

I think that position has been filled. 

Jul 22, 13 9:43 am
Sarah Hamilton

I wish I remembered a conversation about Donna as a sex therapist.

To answer your question, Donna, I miss parts of it.  I miss the discussions with people about design; conversations that I'm not up-to-speed enough now to really have.  I miss the creation of spaces, and the feeling that provides, and I miss the field trips.

Just the same, I love teaching my students, especially my cricket boys.  But teaching in the public system sucks, too.  I'm constantly fighting powers at the district office over what I teach, and what is helpful to the students.  I am being forced to take a certification test in Illustrator, and another in Photoshop because district thinks my students should be certified in the programs.  Instead of teaching the art of something, I'm being forced to teach the software.  It's maddening.

So at times I'm just as annoyed at my new profession as you are with yours, Donna.  The difference for me is that my new one gets me fighting-mad when it's not going right, and it's an uphill, hopeless battle.

Jul 22, 13 9:49 am

Will, houzz is a website with lots of sexy pictures of projects.  I was looking at it this weekend because the historic house here at the IMA needs a handrail and I was looking for typical relationships of railing to bottom step in similar situations to ours.

But so many of the images on houzz are of super-wealthy people's houses.  It's just depressing to think how wealth in this country is so unequally divided - everyone I work with on a daily basis is scraping by, while some people can truly spend anything they want.  Maybe I should have balanced half an hour on houzz with half an hour on Open Architecture Network. Beauty in non-excess.

Sarah, so many things in the world of education seem like hopeless uphill battles!  I think that's why I'm drawn to engineering: there's generally one best answer, not a lot of prevaricating. Forget being a sex therapist in Aspen; being a mechanical engineer in Aspen would probably be more satisfying!  Except: Aspen, therefore lots of rich people always taking up the prettiest views. Ugh.

Jul 22, 13 10:42 am

I miss the discussions with people about design; conversations that I'm not up-to-speed enough now to really have.  I miss the creation of spaces, and the feeling that provides...

Still in the profession, but miss these things just as much, I'll bet. Post-recession, the work that's coming back first seems to be lowest-common-denominator work - cheap and profitable for developers. We do get an annual field trip, though, so that's something.

I've had the interesting experience this week of having most of a development team assembled - motivated, interesting people with successful restaurants and other businesses - who want a multi-use project to happen. We've got an interested contractor who also wants to invest, an architecture firm, and multiple potential operators. The project is a situation in which the local municipality will *give* a locally landmarked building to the most compelling proposal. The problem? No one with big enough money is interested. It's unusual, so it's a risk. Argh. 

Jul 22, 13 12:05 pm

I think sex therapists probably have more issues in this aspect of their lives than their very clients.  I think that's true of therapists in all niche areas, in general.  Many go into the field to work through their own issues concurrently while getting an education and a professional sheepskin.

Jul 22, 13 12:23 pm

i think you missed the point obvservant.

Jul 22, 13 12:42 pm

The Royal Labor has begun! So I can at least distract myself with that for awhile.

Jul 22, 13 1:22 pm

i think you missed the point obvservant.

I actually didn't, curt.  I started the thread "what would you do other than architecture?"  and remember the response "sex therapist in Aspen CO."

Jul 22, 13 2:03 pm

it sounded to me like you thought the important part of that was that she was interested in studying the psychological issues associated with intercourse, probably as it relates to her own experience....

rather than just seeing sex in aspen as an enjoyable thing to do?

Jul 22, 13 2:12 pm

I think the joke is because rich people are frigid and they'll pay a bunch of money for someone to make up wacky shit for them to do.  pretty close to what we already do, except I've never been able to get a client to show up at a meeting wearing ass-less chaps.

Jul 22, 13 2:20 pm

(this is the point where bjarke logs in with his anonymous account and says, "challenge accepted!")

Jul 22, 13 2:27 pm

rather than just seeing sex in aspen as an enjoyable thing to do?

Studies show wealthy people have better sex so, theoretically, they would need less sex therapy services; however, being that they are more able to afford it, they might go seek those services to break up the monotony of skiing ... and sitting on their trust funds.

Jul 22, 13 3:19 pm

sometimes i can't get clients to show up at all

<prepares for meeting with bjarke>

Jul 22, 13 3:23 pm

I'm thinking sex therapy to be more like going to the spa - except with sex. sadly we'll never know since I'm pretty sure none of us are in that income bracket.  I imagine it's all very Roman.

Jul 22, 13 3:39 pm

"increasing partner income had a highly positive effect on women's self-reported frequency of orgasm"

The key term being "self-reported". Most of the rich people I know are absolutely miserable. The idea that they have better sex is laughable.

Which would explain very nicely the number of sex therapists per capita in a place like Aspen.

Jul 22, 13 4:01 pm

Most of the pictures of those ladies make them seem like they're cut from the same cloth.  The whole Rocky Mountain / Front Range mystique is kind of cultish.  Boulder is another jerky place, for many of the same reasons.  I can't see the allure of Aspen.  Who the f**k wants to live around movie stars? It is also so damn far from anything, including Denver and its big city amenities - and problems.  Prices are obviously driven by discretionary income.  There are lots of more interesting places to live for less money, IMO.

Jul 22, 13 4:43 pm

My pal is a sex therapist. Her focus is on open-relationships and polyamorous relationships. She has Honestly, the best. She's my favorite happy hour friend.

I too miss design conversations that make me want to go to a roll of trace paper and have me sketching like mad. Fortunately, the majority of all my friends are in the design world so I still have an outlet outside of my 8-5 workplace.

Best thing to happen to me today: Sam Cooke's Pandora station

Jul 22, 13 5:11 pm


Well, I'm sure that whatever any therapist hears, as a minimum, ends up as fodder for discussion at their breakfast or dinner table.  As a minimum. 

As for open relationships or polyamorous relationships, they're not really relationships.  They're more like arrangements.  In my opinion.

Jul 22, 13 6:07 pm
vado retro

i read that david lowery has received something like 18 dollars in royalties for over a million listens to Low on Pandora? wtf?

Jul 22, 13 6:31 pm

i've always wondered how one becomes a sex therapist, is it something you can go to school for?

@vado artists have recently really been making same point against new big disruptor, Spotify

re: talking outside of work, i wouldn't think there is a problem ethically/legally as long as you avoid identifiers/PHI...

Jul 22, 13 6:44 pm
snooker-doodle-dandy thoughts on sex  and the rich.....Most Rich guys have trophy wifes and so sex shouldn't be a problem....long as the earlier wives are receiving their monthly paycheck. Same is true from the other side...Most rich women have trophy husbands.  So why would the sex not be good.  There former husband was a rail rider or one who left her a bucket of money to play around with.

Jul 22, 13 7:06 pm

i've always wondered how one becomes a sex therapist, is it something you can go to school for?

Apparently you can do it online, but I'd prefer hands on.

Jul 22, 13 7:10 pm

I think Architecture will only  become a profession of admiration when our fees are equal to the cost of the project we are working on.  So you design a Barn Door that cost  $5,000.00 to build your fee should be the same as the cost.  So you design a  School and the  cost are $20,000,000.00 , your fee should be $20,000,000.00.  Then we could live in Aspen and have all the sex we ever wanted.   Liberty  would make a killing on all of us...cause we would be living there along with all the developers...ect.

Jul 22, 13 7:29 pm

She received her masters in psychology with a concentration in sexuality. Her thesis examined polyamory and had a hilariously long title (which I can't even try to replicate it). You know how architects just fill their thesis title with jargon?...well hers was like that too but replace 'urban juxtaposition' with 'polyamory behavioral patterns.' 

She's had a hard time finding herself a romantic partner. Many men were put off and assumed she wanted to be polyamorous because of her focus on it in her sex therapy practice. Over the years, she's found the best way to deal with it is to given an example of other therapist - 'just because a therapist studies children with anxiety disorders doesn't mean they are a child with anxiety disorders...'

Jul 22, 13 7:30 pm

I shoule qualify this by saying we should not be working for  the building permit fee, which is paid to the city.

Jul 22, 13 7:30 pm
Eating the rich is such a strange daydream. Especially for so many over educated servants of wealth. No wonder architects are so conflicted ;-)

It's better at Uni level Sarah, but not much. At least nobody is telling us what or how we should teach.
Jul 22, 13 7:38 pm

You know we are pissing around about  sex therapist.....and the Pope has landed in Brazil for a week  visit. Unfortunately  back in June some people decided those in control, were taking to much money from the coffers for personal wealth.  Aka...World Cup and Olympics contracts and caring less about the little guy trying to make a living.  So we have peaceful protests.  Ya people protesting with their hands held over there heads and a small but  clearly  obvious group of people dressed in  ninja masks causing trouble.  They are not part of the protest but  imposters funded by the government to make it look like those of the street are violent.  Globo the  largest newsprint media and  TV media in  Brazil  captures the ninja goons and plays it up as violence while the police stand around and watch them destroy property.  It is as if it is a Novella.  So today there is word the rubber bullets are being replace by real bullets to suppress the protesters.  Yet no American New Paper has the courage to save face, because of Globo's long reach.  It is a sad day the Pope in Brazil, with these  things happening.    So I sign off:  Go World Cup: Go Olympics, shit to the people.

Jul 22, 13 8:23 pm
Ugh, David Lowery's skewerings of the contemporary music business are so freaking depressing. Someone with that much talent shouldn't have to worry about money. Same with Cake: their founder still has to sell tshirts to raise money.
Jul 22, 13 8:23 pm

i've always wondered how one becomes a sex therapist, is it something you can go to school for?

I think there are several routes, with many just getting masters degrees in counseling and then logging hours (like IDP, but WITHOUT categories) but trying to carve out a niche in sexuality.  Those who are more brain trust oriented get PhDs in Clinical Psychology, and focus on sexuality, or become MD psychiatrists, and focus on sexuality.  I honestly think the work would become boring in no time.  I've heard good PhD programs in Clinical Psych. are very hard to get into. A HS friend who expected to become a clinical psychologist bailed on a second rate PhD program quickly and became an educator. thoughts on sex  and the rich.....Most Rich guys have trophy wifes and so sex shouldn't be a problem....long as the earlier wives are receiving their monthly paycheck. Same is true from the other side...Most rich women have trophy husbands.

And the trophy part does NOT guarantee good sex.  It just guarantees that you have a decoration on your arm.  The trophy wife may be working her emery board while the husband is ... you know ... and the trophy husband is probably of the "while the cat's away, the mice will play" mindset.  I'm sure it's mostly rich cougars who have them.  Picture a Joan Rivers-alike in the Palm Springs or Palm Beach area with a year-round deep tan and tennis bracelets, and a younger husband who's along for the ride.  I think that spouses of trophy wives and trophy husbands have them as a sort of validation or social accoutrement.  How can they not know they're essentially being used?

As for the Pope in Brazil, they are setting up a stage for him on Copacabana Beach.  I think that's nuts.  Why don't they use Maracana Stadium, the same way Denver used their stadium when the Pope came to the U.S. for the world youth event for Catholics?  I think he will be touring favelas while he's in Rio.  It's the politically correct thing to do. 

Jul 22, 13 8:51 pm

Since Colorado is still the "wild west", you don't need a license or degree to practice therapy, you must simply register with the state before calling yourself a therapist. I wouldn't want to be a sex therapist, it doesn't sound fun. I'd rather be a psychic in Aspen.

Has anyone heard about the type of sex therapist that has sex with patients to help them gain confidence and/or get over issues with sex? Um, THAT would be a hard job.




Jul 23, 13 8:47 am
Sarah Hamilton
It's funny, all this talk about sex therapy got me thinking. I'm a visual person, and most conversations play out in my head like mini-movies. When I think of other people having sex, regardless if I know them or not, it's cool, confidence, power, and when I think about me, it's fumbling, unsure, and messy.

I blame Hollywood.
Jul 23, 13 9:36 am

And how does that make you feel?

Jul 23, 13 10:24 am

All this talk of sex therapists has me wondering WHY someone would want to become a sex therapist in the first place.  I'd want to ask them that question.

Speaking of impropriety, there was a plastic surgeon in the late 90s who got nailed for messing with his female patients while they were under sedation.  Now that's creepy.

Jul 23, 13 11:21 am

Yesterday's news:

- the royal baby, as if most Americans even care, and

- Southwest B737 from Nashville to LaGuardia-NY experiences a front landing gear failure upon landing and had to skid to a stop.  They moved it with a flatbed truck.  Didn't know they had flatbed trucks that could do that sort of work.  Only 10 minor injuries of some 150 on board.  I wonder if the plane is a write-off.  Shit happens.  Southwest is usually pretty good, though they tend to be a milk train that stops at least twice from coast to coast, and they only use that super reliable workhorse of an airplane.  I'm still trying to process Asiana 214 at SFO.

Jul 23, 13 11:32 am
Sarah Hamilton

Nice, There.  To be honest, it won't bother me if everybody else feels the same way.  Then, I can continue to live in my world where people snuggling in the after glow instead of washing and such is a known fallacy, and not just a personal quirk.  But if everybody else is perfect in bed, then it'll go right up there with photoshopped celebrities that are down to a perfectly toned size 2 hours after giving birth.

And Observant, EVERYBODY in America cares about the littlest prince.  It was all over the news yesterday!

Jul 23, 13 11:54 am

In my neck of the woods people would be asking if they did a natural home water birth with both a doula and a midwife.  Hospital birth with an epidural is like admitting defeat.


the question on everyone's mind is: what are they going to do with the placenta?

Jul 23, 13 2:55 pm


Jul 23, 13 3:40 pm

i would think around here people schedule a c-section far in advance so a disruption like childbirth doesn't cause anymore trouble than necessary.

Jul 23, 13 3:48 pm

It's really irritating to be driving along and seeing people texting while driving.  It's even more dangerous than just talking on one's cell phone without the hands-free device, which is also considered dangerous.  It's downright mind boggling when you see it on the freeway.  Some people are just yack-yack-yack.  Life was better, in some ways, before all this shit came along and people, in general, got douchier.

Jul 23, 13 4:54 pm

Any one see the crazy article about the Detroit Institute of Art being appraised for its worth, just  so creditors now where to go when the bottom falls out.  Something like 2 billion in wealth stashed in that collection.

Jul 23, 13 5:12 pm
Sarah Hamilton
Yakity yak, don't talk back.
Jul 23, 13 5:38 pm

ya, we should go back to horses.  they're fueled off rapidly renewable resources and they can think for themselves.  if you drive your horse drunk, there is a pretty good chance it will take you where you need to be.

except i suppose horses need trained, and people are now too dumb to even train dogs.  people would have to get off their cell phones to take care of their horses, and i suppose that's a bit much to ask.

i suppose google's new car that drives itself is the only reasonable option.

Jul 23, 13 5:51 pm
horses seldom run into each other. fatalities much less common. and - yeah - you can talk on the phone.

or read, even. public transit or autopilot cars: also good for reading.

driver-dependent cars are dumb.
Jul 23, 13 6:04 pm

Screw horses.  They are supposed to be dumb, but I don't think they are.  For our field trip at the end of parochial grammar school, we went to a recreation center that had many options, including horseback riding.  It was my first time on a horse.  This horse was calculating.  He positioned himself near this bent tree with an almost perpendicular section, slightly above the top of the saddle.  This means he was going to eject me, kind of like a double decker bus going under a bridge that's too low.  The group leader had to pull the horse away from this tree.  Horses know who doesn't know horses.  I've still gotten back on the saddle, but I think they are overrated.

Jul 23, 13 6:15 pm
vado retro

a former miss world contestant is stopping by for cocktails rhis evening. jus' sayin'

Jul 23, 13 6:37 pm
I fully support a horse-based circulation infrastructure, for all the reasons mentioned. Plus that clop-clop-clop sound they make is so soothing. And we'd all have ONE horsepower vehicles.

Yes, snook, I saw that about DIA. Christie's smells an opportunity, those vultures.
Jul 23, 13 8:00 pm
The Detroit gallery was on Canadian news awhile back. They're not even funded by the city but the city says the art is owned by city hall. Couldn't tell if that was legally correct or not. Crazy if it is.

Brazil also in Canadian news. Didn't see the ninjas though. The disenfranchised are pushing back all over the world so it is maybe a bit hard for Americans to catch all of the details. I wouldn't chalk it up to indifference or crony solidarity so quickly.

Horses! I used to ride through town on horse when visiting gramma's place in the country. It was awesome except for the shit. It's possibly illegal now. Prolly cuz of the shit. Sure did enjoy it though.
Jul 23, 13 8:21 pm

The Southwest B737 skidded for 1/3 of a mile upon landing at LGA's runway, so that's a lot of scraping.  The landing gear strut reportedly jutted upward into a compartment of electronic components.  I think the plane might have to be scrapped or used for spare parts.  Well, at least no one was seriously hurt.

Jul 23, 13 9:45 pm

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