I find it real SICK
when you use your damn SPIT to
smooth your two eyebrows

one more round, please, so
i'll have an excuse later
when i hit on you

If I raise my hand
Will you ever call on me?
Say it! Jonathan.

these are just so good
it's nice you participate
writing these haiku

Mmmm Mmmm Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmm
girl you got it going on!
gimme some sugar

rocky mountain high
is what i am working on
the school not the smoke

:(

My pink ten speed bike
Circa nineteen ninety one
Makes a happy girl

daniel makes train wreck
like shiny peice of leather
induce my vomit

"get to da choppa"
says the californya gov
hurricane rita comes

levee takes break time
while hurricane makes double
time to go to lunch

those stinky ass rats
took advantage of my dog
ate up all his food

Louisiana
its fucked for good this time
Rita leaves nothing

mister president
what about the hurricanes
that wage war at home?

dandelion puffs
gently floating down
summer snow

I want to make love
to hurricane rita's eye
ram my rod in it

obfuscation fades
opportunities grow bright
crush the fear within

lovely miss Rita
please steer for crawford texas
wipe that ranch away

jimmy cooper lies
big men beat his sorry ass
jimmy leaves OC

Manteno the fierce
gripping feathers of the dove
rip its damn head off

betadinesutures
you think you own archinect
with your big wierd words

we all develop
a unique bonding today
writing our haiku

ryan and marissa
make love by the crashing waves
seth gets detention

Thank you Smokety
"Mullet Solution" -- A name
For my new rock band.

beautiful boobies
distract from a shark attack
i saw at the beach

let me tell you kid
use a condom and KY
when you screw that sheep

oh my fucking god
i laugh until my belly
cannot laugh again

hmm.. that one didn't turn otu to be a proper haiku.

dandelion puffs
gently floating down
as my summer snow

ra ra ra! they say
it has been one whole year past
it's a homecoming

its rita novel
with his lame countdown haiku
pictures don't work here

i love the mullet solution!

bah, said madam sheep
give it to me rough and raw
mister manteno

it's friday they say
let us drink this keg away
until the floor drops

(true story)

cornicopia
of porn sticky hands wet page
clean the kitchen boy

we outnumber you
one to two, yet why don't you
put the damn seat down

no no no my boy
mommy doesn't like it when
you play with her toys

it's no light saber
that you found under the bed
playing hide and seek

besides, don't you know
Luke Skywalker's was metal
not pink and flesh like

those ribs on the side
kind of look the same as his
but it's not the same

his are a handle
mine are for giving me joy
when I close my eyes

imagine your dad
lying right here next to me
his sweet warm embrace

his hands travelling
from head to toe and touching
erogenous zones

before he moves in
and I prepare for his thrusts
he's a real stallion

anyhow my son
like I said a bit ago
this toy is all mine

it keeps me alive
fills my body with pleasure
over and over

night after night I
wish your dad were here with me
and not in jail

no, I'm not crying
I have something in my eye
run along now please

go play with He-Man
or G.I. Joe or Star Wars
it's my toy time now

defication time
long logs slide from my anus
into the deep water

let me hold your hand
as we cross the busy street
squeeze my hand tighter

Priceless 3ifs !!!!

my consultants suck
why won't they answer email
engineers are turds

I bet Burt Reynolds
gives such great cunnilingus
with his thick mustache

Sylvester Stallone
was great in Over The Top
that's why I love him

mommy crys her tears
because menopause began
might as well be dead

Our family dog
just threw up on the carpet
now he's eating it

we live with two dogs
craps in the yard from one dog
snacks for another

four thirty friday
conference call with the board
but i don't want to

is this really just
a gross out fest for 'necters?
not that that's all bad...

DUDE I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING 3IFS!!!!!!! YOU'RE TOO MUCH!

Dan Marino's crotch
has really seen better days
herpes cysts have burst