our next door neighbor
must be hung like a donkey
his wife screams "oh yes!"

dried bloody doo-doo
smeared all over the carpet
old cat has problems

local peeping tom
just got turned off by the sight
of your unshaved bush

-->
the above poem
sounds like it belongs in the
onion headline thread

true story above
kind of sad because the cat
will be euthenized

wife is real upset
she's had the cat since college
it's name is jo-jo

glad to see it go
always hisses at people
real anti-social

never liked me much
bites when I try to pet it
always sweet to wife

must be the cookies
she bribes her with all the time
so she purrs loudly

she's very upset
wants to go to vet's office
buy I say no way

don't have the money
been saving for trip to france
no setbacks at all!

forgot to mention
that the cat watches T.V.
really creeps me out

promised lil' A.J.
new bike for seventh birthday
can't, bills for cat now

saturday night and
studio is empty yet
guess they're drinking lots

Stephen King's book “IT”
has a fat kid character
he hates poetry

But haiku, oh yes!
The rules of words in structure
appeals to his mind

The cute red-haired girl
appeals to his young boy heart
Writes a secret poem

About her red hair
burning fire in his soul
Leaves for her to find

That fat kid grew up
He became an architect
Sounds like Manteno

That fat kid demon
Straighted his dam-building skills
Did'nt he perish?

Acrobat Pro 7.0
Literally Overnight
Putnam Dusty

Haiku are easy
to construct just remember:
five, seven then five.

Saturday Night's All
Right for fighting, Saturday
Nights Alright, alright?

Pretty German girl,
Dead in Lucy's Gully. We're
too small for that shit.

diabase thinks that
counting was import for the
ancient Vitruvius

Javier the Mighty
Two thousand five twenty three,
Beats everybody.

stale cereal, milk
put on your best shirt and tie
today it begins

a new day my friends
the hurricanes' aftermath
all over the news

Fat kid architect
did well enough to own a
private plane - yeah, right.

back to the tizzop
the haiku thread goes again
there's fun to be had

That LaTorpille Rose
really pushed the envelope
with news about cat

Damn Hurricane rain
Flooded basement office space
Sopping drawing rolls

Saturday Night Live
just remembered lung brush sketch
the best one ever

monday afternoon
toothpicks prop my eyes open
wish i was asleep

deciduous greens
pale gray white cumulus sky
drizzle becomes rain

optical war zone
stepping out to lunch today
pretty girls galore

I bet that you thought
noodlin' has three syllables
wrong, it's said "nood-lyn"

per correll draws swift
in 3DH that is
persistant is he

misscount i sure did
fucking idiot i am
time to go home now

i am back again
may i have another
thank you archinect

Trouble with Haiku
Pity they are Addictive
Witness Manteno.

they keep on quitting
we have no employees now
the boss ran them off

and yet i roll on
pump that cad you worthless dog
the boss keeps yelling

come back tomorrow
bring your skills in on tuesday
i will fire you yet

do you want your pay
then work harder you intern
i own you fucker

pump your own cad bitch
i will not take this asshole
exit stage left snaggle

please don't leave yet
i will have no employees
what do you want then

i think for a sec
what could ever make me stay
let us start with pay

i make thirty thou'
you cheap miserly bastard
i want deep pockets

next on the menu
is my new dress code attire
i want to be fly

jeans everyday
do not think i will not walk
i mean what i say

throw in that wallet
the one that says bad mother
fucker i mean now

a company car
what are you crying for fool
do it yourself man

that is what i thought
respect my au-thor-i-ty
i owe cartman hard

just then i wake up
with no demands met at all
the boss standing there

it is roughly noon
i am so in trouble now
my wife will beat me

he took my train card
i will have to walk home now
life is sucking hard

i keep on walking
i can not call for a ride
peace is not at home

she wont be happy
it is the third job this year
she cannot find out

a car honks at me
i get hit with a bottle
wrong hood to be white

run your wallet boy
it does not say bad mother
i am broke as fuck

rent is due again
in a nice new apartment
the wife will hate me

the key gets turned
it will be home for three days
she left me a note

she has some big news
school finally took her in
tuition cometh

bills up to my ears
dollar signs weigh down on me
plastic owns me now

now she frolics in
at least there is no boyfriend
seeing me she stops

what did you do now
her dreams shattering to dust
the phone is ringing

can we speek to mr
the phone gets handed over
a studio calls

can you start soon sir
you can wear all your blue jeans
signing bonus too

we need to know now
there is only one spot left
nothing holds me back

a resounding yes
timex has nothing on me
rock on atlanta

english is the only subject i've evergotten an F in, so i hope i didn't fuck that up.

hot wax on butt cheeks
while doing you from behind
you love it kinked up

stupid bitch sheehan
another damn PR stunt
arrested, smiling

you guys make me laugh. thank you. march 1 is kickin my ass.

everything bagel
garlic sesame goodness
dammit its all gone

playground swings and rings
how I yearn for my sweet youth
recess was the best

disgruntled and mad
forced to compromise values
one day i'll be free

strange pain in thumb joint
won't go away no matter
how much I rub it

on bus this morning
see black and white schnouzer dog
crouched and taking poop

owner standing by
at the ready with baggie
staring at dog's butt

looking around bus
other people are staring
do they enjoy it?

bus continues on
I lose the good view I had
dog was almost done

keep thinking about
the owner picking up poop
humiliating

then got to thinking
with a new camera phone
and a little stealth

could take a picture
of God's magnificent work
doing it's business

it's an incentive
to go and buy a RAZR
by Motorola

been debating now
for a few weeks and reading
reviews of the phone

still undecided
it's fashion over function
the naysayers say

slow OS on phone
VGA only photos
no megapixel

new ones coming soon
there's a non flip-phone RAZR
nice and thin and cool

might hold out for it
but it will be expensive
for quite a while

isn't it funny
how watching a dog go poop
stimulates the mind

lust for the razr
consumer slut manteno
its in my pocket

warm dogpile cleanup
squish between baggied fingers
who's the master here

my dearest 3ifs
could you tell me how you like
the moto razr?

oh, about the poop
watching women pick it up
is just horrible

stoned friends talking
a gift for mom from sports store?
get her some knee pads

thin light and stylish
what more could you ever want
chicks dig my cool phone

connect USB
sync with outlook contact list
plus laptop modem

moto SLVR soon
PEBL release imminent
RAZR started it

an alternate gift
get mom a purple skateboard
laughs for neighborhood

know about SLVR
but price will be expensive
after it's release

need something new now
plus, many rebates out there
free, and with headset

not fond of flip phones
but RAZR V3X is
to be released soon

better camera
search the web for it and see
all the improvements

uh oh manteno
moto razr v3x
not in US, clown

getting excited
pudding flaps are visible
I force you to crouch

moments away now
from the application of
antibiotics

the bottle gets dropped
a big mess is created
you are so confused

standing up quickly
you slip on an ice-like floor
total disarray

yank up overalls
one of the clasps is broken
you look like hip-hop

you did not cry, just
screamed when the Xacto plunged
into your kneecap