Don Kostelec recently opened the door to traffic engineering jabs with a call for chapter titles on his Manual on Uniform Traffic Engineer Excuses. Some of these cutting responses are all too real...

Responses included chapter titles such as:

• Appendix 99 – A Listing of All Mandatory Design Features for All Forms of Alternative Transportation [This page intentionally left blank]
• Chapter 16: Sharrows: How to Apply the Single Ply Toilet Paper for Bike Infrastructure
• Chapter 13: Two-way Cycle Tracks Mean Highly Complex Intersections; Why You Should Just Use Sharrows Instead
• Chapter 44: Someday Dark Clothing Will Go Out of Style
• Introduction: Why the World Is Designed for Peak Hour Car Use and Not 24-Hour Use by Everybody Else
• Chapter 12: Induced Demand and Widening Projects: Tall Tales, Lies, and Other Falsehoods
• Chapter 5: How to Remove a Crosswalk – It’s too dangerous for pedestrians to cross here, wouldn’t want to give them a false sense of security.

Check out Don Kostelec’s Twitter feed @kostelecplan and along with all the other pointed responses.