you just gotta walk into the other room and fart there. or hold it. no one ever has the right to fart within 10 feet of anyone else. no excuses. at least that's what miss manners says. there oughta be a law.
But robust84, Miss Manners also says "Socially, a fart does not exist". So if one slips, just carry on as if nothing happened. On the other hand, if you burp, sneeze, cough, etc, say excuse me.
I once worked with a guy who drank a big oversized cup of loose leaf green tea after lunch and by 3:30 it was time to break out the candles and incense. Everyone knew it was him and whenever we'd see him making his tea we'd send someone out to CVS to get candles if we were low.
Over time, we had it down to a science and we'd light the candles as soon as he started drinking the tea so by the time the storm hit we'd have the area smelling all flowery to combat the ensuing barrage of green tea farts.
Eventually, it got so bad we created an e-mail address and sent him an anonymous e-mail the explained the situation and asked him to wait until the end of the day to drink his green tea.
curtclay, I had to read to read your post in shifts I was laughing so hard! Now I'm crying, speaking of not trying to draw attention to yourself at the office....ahahhahhha...
You can buy a pad for your chair that supposedly absorbs the noise and smell. Its portable too...you can roll it up and absorb farts in your car. It uses some kind of carbon filter, or whatever. Check it out here. Search for "Flat-D Fart Filtering Chair Pad."
one of the partners in the office i work has quite a problem in this respect. often i walk into his office and i am overpowered by the smell. after suffering it for a couple of years i changed my tact. i stop in my tracks and just tell him - "i'll come back later when the air has cleared"
the urinal fart is the worst... you try to save it until you get to the bathroom and just when you think you can get started someone else walks in... and right about the time when you release the tension of your bladder there goes the tension in your ass and out pops the semeeelly..
you could say
"oh pardon me"
or sometimes it is best just to laugh.
I try to save my farts for outside the office proper, usually in the restroom (in a stall). Problem is, the restrooms in this building have horrible acoustic insulation. Some other company on this floor has their conference room next to the men's room wall, and you can overhear every conversation that takes place in that room. So, it stands to reason that they can likewise overhear everything that takes place inside the men's room. Even though they can't see me, it still gives me a certain amount of stagefright when I'm in there.
One of the best places to let one go, I've found, is when you're passing through a revolving door: Right when your little "wedge" of the door reaches that instant when you're sealed off from both the interior and exterior of the building. Do your thing, and keep walking as if nothing happened. Nobody will hear it, and by the time anybody smells it, you're halfway down the block.
One of the worst places is inside an elevator cab. The worst that could happen would be if you're riding the elevator alone and let a huge one rip. Five seconds later, the elevator stops at an intermediate floor to pick up a load of passengers. You're stuck in foul-smelling elevator cab for the next few moments of awkward silence until you get to your floor... Not that this has ever happened to me, mind you.
well on this subject of toilet behaviour, i am constantly surprised by the number of people that leave a toilet without washing their hands first.
its starting to affect me and now when i leave the toilet i take a piece of toilet paper with me so i can use it to open the door and hence avoid the urine and god know what else contaminated door knob.
LiG that seems most unfortunate for the users of the conference room. I imagine whatver you do in the bathroom is minor to what they experience from time to time.
I think it was Kelsey Grammar who said farting is the one thing we can always laugh about.
Check out [url=http://www.mrmethane.com]the world's windiest website[lurl].
farting at the office
what is your position on the matter...
And I'm coming to meet you for Skyline. Voluntarily.
Super.
WonderK
go to sleep
Dude! Are you writing a coffee table book on the subject?
Poor WK :)
WonderK FARTS AT THE OFFICE
Goddammit mdler!!!
not an issue for us
Katze
I am in fact writing a coffee table book on the subject....scratch + sniff
I am laughing my ass off!!! Dude!
perfect timing SuperBeatledud...
mdler, leave WK alone - I am a short distance from you and I'll personally come and beat on you :)
WK and I go way back
No harm! Only trying to protect 1/3 of the garwondLer legend! :)
Yes, Katze, he's been harassing me for years. How far away are you? You want some Skyline too? Come on down...
1/3 of the legend is in my pants...
watch out Katze, she might fart on you
Just a hop, skip and a jump; count me in - I want some Skyline!
Come on down (reminds me of the price is right!) HA!!!
$5 says garpike has his 2 cents on the subject
the bet is how long it takes him to chime in on this post...betting times folks?
he may be at the bar...
...that's no excuse – some bars have wireless connections so he should log on to Archinect so he doesn't miss anything while he is getting toasty!!!
you just gotta walk into the other room and fart there. or hold it. no one ever has the right to fart within 10 feet of anyone else. no excuses. at least that's what miss manners says. there oughta be a law.
But robust84, Miss Manners also says "Socially, a fart does not exist". So if one slips, just carry on as if nothing happened. On the other hand, if you burp, sneeze, cough, etc, say excuse me.
One-one thousand, two-one thousand, three-one thousand, ok, garpike, where the heck are you? My bet is on 11:14 PST.
I also waiting for a graphic / picture from Susan of office farting
I was hoping that the world would be safe by taking only my top half for the Garwondler, but I suppose I was wrong.
Darn it garpike! You should have waited until 11:14 PST to post your comment!!!
Think I just had a "Mind Fart".....now where the hell am I?
I once worked with a guy who drank a big oversized cup of loose leaf green tea after lunch and by 3:30 it was time to break out the candles and incense. Everyone knew it was him and whenever we'd see him making his tea we'd send someone out to CVS to get candles if we were low.
Over time, we had it down to a science and we'd light the candles as soon as he started drinking the tea so by the time the storm hit we'd have the area smelling all flowery to combat the ensuing barrage of green tea farts.
Eventually, it got so bad we created an e-mail address and sent him an anonymous e-mail the explained the situation and asked him to wait until the end of the day to drink his green tea.
curtclay, I had to read to read your post in shifts I was laughing so hard! Now I'm crying, speaking of not trying to draw attention to yourself at the office....ahahhahhha...
Nice thing about having dogs in the office, is you can blame it on them.
I usually will get up and take a lap around the office floor. My associates and I have coined the term "Crop Dusting".
Thank you!
I just turn the fan on high. It doesn't eliminate the odor all together, but it spreads it out enough so that no one can identify the source.
You can buy a pad for your chair that supposedly absorbs the noise and smell. Its portable too...you can roll it up and absorb farts in your car. It uses some kind of carbon filter, or whatever. Check it out here. Search for "Flat-D Fart Filtering Chair Pad."
Problem solved.
ajiliebch
Thanks!!!! I can finally buy the partner enema that my girlfriend and I have been dying to try!!!!
I JUST FARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
one of the partners in the office i work has quite a problem in this respect. often i walk into his office and i am overpowered by the smell. after suffering it for a couple of years i changed my tact. i stop in my tracks and just tell him - "i'll come back later when the air has cleared"
HHBN that was fricken hillarious.........
oh boy Im crying...that was too much!
what's the etiquette on farting at a urinal while peeing?
That will fly.
curtclay that is so awesome and sad.
the urinal fart is the worst... you try to save it until you get to the bathroom and just when you think you can get started someone else walks in... and right about the time when you release the tension of your bladder there goes the tension in your ass and out pops the semeeelly..
you could say
"oh pardon me"
or sometimes it is best just to laugh.
man i hate when that happens
just blame it on being overworked
Just let it rip man. I mean, you're in the bathroom. If you can't fart in the bathroom, then where can you fart?
Chili, your name needs no introduction in this thread.
just dont do it in a plane
http://www.cnn.com/2006/TRAVEL/12/06/plane.passing.gas.ap/index.html
I try to save my farts for outside the office proper, usually in the restroom (in a stall). Problem is, the restrooms in this building have horrible acoustic insulation. Some other company on this floor has their conference room next to the men's room wall, and you can overhear every conversation that takes place in that room. So, it stands to reason that they can likewise overhear everything that takes place inside the men's room. Even though they can't see me, it still gives me a certain amount of stagefright when I'm in there.
One of the best places to let one go, I've found, is when you're passing through a revolving door: Right when your little "wedge" of the door reaches that instant when you're sealed off from both the interior and exterior of the building. Do your thing, and keep walking as if nothing happened. Nobody will hear it, and by the time anybody smells it, you're halfway down the block.
One of the worst places is inside an elevator cab. The worst that could happen would be if you're riding the elevator alone and let a huge one rip. Five seconds later, the elevator stops at an intermediate floor to pick up a load of passengers. You're stuck in foul-smelling elevator cab for the next few moments of awkward silence until you get to your floor... Not that this has ever happened to me, mind you.
anyone tried to collapse spatial dimensions by farting by the return air grille so it can circulate through the mechanical systems to other spaces?
the filtration system might make it not work...
well on this subject of toilet behaviour, i am constantly surprised by the number of people that leave a toilet without washing their hands first.
its starting to affect me and now when i leave the toilet i take a piece of toilet paper with me so i can use it to open the door and hence avoid the urine and god know what else contaminated door knob.
it builds the immune system...
LiG that seems most unfortunate for the users of the conference room. I imagine whatver you do in the bathroom is minor to what they experience from time to time.
I think it was Kelsey Grammar who said farting is the one thing we can always laugh about.
Check out [url=http://www.mrmethane.com]the world's windiest website[lurl].
Ugh.
Check out the world's windiest website.
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