LIG, I have similar condition at one of the offices...the men's room is perilously close to a landscape arch. office whose principal sits right next to the wall shared with the b-room.

it's so quiet at moments that while sitting there reading dwell, the dwr catalog or some other inane arch. bathroom material i can hear him tying, erasing, etc. i can hear the scratching of his pencil...

i wonder what he hears coming from me?

btw - i saw this hilarious book at a kids store the other day...

I bought that book for my dad a few years ago.

First, I can't believe this is a topic.

But ok. Conference room near the restroom... principal's office near the restroom. Eek.

There's only 1 way to deal with that condition. You have to just go in the restroom on your coffee break for the sole purpose of loudly exclaiming things like, "Ohhhhh! I've never seen that before!"

i don't fart

but i have occasionally shit myself...that's probably worse than farting. sorry but i drink too much sometimes and just lose all control

sorry. i pooted.

I admit I have run some tests. Basically I am far enough away from everyone and have lots of air infiltration with my big-ass window that if it doesn't make a sound, I go for it. Like I am right.... NOW!

ever farted when laughing because the abdominal pressure is too much? well that's awkward

I used to work with a guy that would lean over, raise his legs and rip ass as hard as he could. The first time it happened I blushed for the rest of the day. The worst part is that his wife was a natural nutritionist, so he had an uncommon diet and took a handfull of vitamins everyday. This created the most foul toxic smell.

Sometimes I'd walk to his area to have a work related question and by then time I'd notice the contaminated air, he had noticed me and it was too late for me to turn around.

Let's not even mention how he'd leave the restroom stinky for over half an hour after he visited it.

He could light a match maybe.

Sometimes when I'm in the office kitchen alone I fart in the fridge and quickly seal the door. No one knows I fart, and the fridge gets cleaned quite often.

"Yeah, something in there is definitely rotting"

Puddles ... I beleive the term is "sharted", as my son calls it, a fart with a lump in it.

p2an

just think of all the people at your office who end up looking at porn on your computer after hours (cause they dont want it showing up in their internet history)

do you think that they are washing their hands between touching themselves and your keyboard??

by the way,

Sharted is the correct term, thank you Philip Seymour Hoffman.

"puddles", is that how you got your name?

Speaking of names: a center for ants = execellent

Thank you Mdler for starting this thread, and thank you all for your insightful contributions. I was sick for two days, so I missed this completely

crop dusting - man, it's been years since i heard that term!

when i worked overseas, the guys and gals bathrooms were adjacent, but the common wall didn't go all the way up. this created some akward giggles after eating lunch at the messe.

I wanted to mention that I actually passed curtclay's story around to half of my office and to some outside friends, in an anonymous "forward" sort of way, and you can hear when they start reading it because they dissolve into fits of laughter.

My wife and kids all had a good giggle ove rthe term "crop-dusting"

I am farting while posting this

my boss is on the phone w/ his brother discussing farting

There is a particularly bitchy french-man in my office... He sat behind me...I waged covert war of backing up and basically farting on him for several months, just to hear him tell me to stop...

he never did.... I think he liked it...

those french are twisted.

that's a big stamp...

*gritting my teeth and reminding myself that luminaries such as Dante and Shakespeare have also exploited the infinite comedic value of flatulence*

farts,

this is the 77th fart

if your not farting your dead.....

even the recently deceased still fart!

and so do hot girls, as i alarmingly discovered as i was sitting next to this woman who fell asleep midflight over the atlantic. worst of all was everyone thought it was me. she even woke herself up a few times.

This has got to be the funniest thread I have ever read on this site.

my principal farted one day when i first started here. he forgot i was sitting next to him and started laughing. i looked over at him, he turned bright red + looked back at his computer.

nice.

also... when i was in school i used to work at a place i couldnt stand... i used to deliberately walk by a much hated co-worker and do an SBD mid-gait just so she would have to whiff it for the next 20 minutes.

i find the air moves fast enough that nobody knows

good HVAC otherwise hold it...

one of the worst is when you let 'er rip about 10' from your car, forgetting that you're about to get into a greenhouse that's been sitting in the summer sun all day... you sit down and KA-POWWWWW!

i am imagining the perks right now...

in an unrelated note, my office flooded on Tuesday (toliet was backed up, or so they tell me)

in an unrelated note, my office flooded on Tuesday (toliet was backed up, or so they tell me)

post BURRITO TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! office farts

All I know is that I'm holding on to my firm belief that girls don't fart.

I know a girl who has a farting dog

sorry pebble...

i blame mies

I only fart after 11pm -

tell me what kind of asshole would set up a meeting for 4pm on a friday before Memorial day weekend? ill tell you, a foreigner. yeah, i said it. and you know what, i am gonna fart during that meeting too. and i hope it smells like the shitty subway italian bmt i had for lunch.

i was in a shop yesterday that had spray booth with a powerful exhaust system....I farted up a storm in that thing

i love crop dusting by the annoying bitch that never shuts up. hope she likes gas.

i have crazy onion farts right now

I think I'm becoming lactose intolerant as I age...

Cheese on sandwich + yogurt + string cheese = bad news lunch. I'm afraid of burning a hole thru my Aeron...

I think Herman Miller took that into account when choosing the fabric

What's the flame spread rating on an Aeron chair?