She left me.


I know this is an architecture forum and everything and I'm supposed to write about architecture stuff, but can I just vent for a second? Please? Because I've never been so damn down, man. I can't sleep or anything. Why? Because she left me. Just yesterday, not even a damn note. She even took all of the damned coat hangers.
I knew it was coming. I could see it from a friggin' mile away. For one thing, I knew she was mad about me staying late at work. But I told her numerous times that it's because I'm the new guy. I told her that's what the new guy has to do for awhile, stay late and buy coffee for everyone and crap like that. I said, “Honey, I just have to do this stuff for little while and then I'll move up the ladder and then we can maybe get that house and kids you want.” I thought that's what she wanted, the damn domestic life. She'd always buy those little ceramic bears and old lady pillows and other crappy domestic stuff from RITE-AID. Our apartment was filled with that decorative junk. Well, she took it all with her and now I even miss that crap. Dammit!
I knew this was coming. One day I went home for lunch, which I never do, just to surprise her. What do you think she was doing when I walked in the door? Looking at some porn on the computer! Now, I know that's natural and everything, but what bothered me was the kind of porn she was looking at. It was these huge muscular looking body-builder type guys doing it with these tiny little waif-looking women.
Now, I'll admit, I'm not too muscular or anything. In fact, I'm kind of a skinny, bleached-out looking guy and I'm not so hot in the sack, frankly. But what does she want? Some bronco dick hulk guy ramming her in the rear? Jesus.
I think she's having an affair, too. I've suspected it for awhile. I know which bastard it is, even. It's that jogger jerk who runs by our apartment every morning. Or it's that guy who works over at the hardware store who told us he used to be a Quaker. The other Quakers must have kicked that guy out of the community because of his crap morals. Because I'll bet he's having a damn affair with my girlfriend! Ex-girlfriend? Dammit! It even hurts to write that!
If you're reading this, please, just COME BACK. I'll be home earlier. I PROMISE. I'll go to the damn gym and lift weights and drink that Power Fuel crap. I'll be your Quaker. I'll cook you Quaker damn Oats every morning, if that's what it takes. I just need you back. Please. COME BACK NOW.

Sep 30, 05 3:17 am

Mavis, mate, I understand you wanting anonymity and all...but it's going to be alright. You've had a tough year with that overrated Roger and all, but stick with it man.

Sep 30, 05 5:30 am  · 

dude seriously.........wat she did isnt good. pray she gets bak i know how these things fuck u up so happened to me. nobody got bak! alas! keep the hope, jus let it be kinda low u know. it will save a lot of dissappointment. luck!

Sep 30, 05 6:13 am  · 

the second time the elephant leaves.

Sep 30, 05 7:32 am  · 

dude ----- craigslist..........

Sep 30, 05 9:15 am  · 

if you like her that much, find a new job. No reason a job should keep you late consistently. Maybe a few nights with a deadline, once every six months to a year, but beyond that it's abuse.
That's what I'd do. Jobs are a dime a dozen, and this one looks horrible, a good woman ain't so easy to find again.

Sep 30, 05 9:21 am  · 
Louisville Architect

this is fairly pathetic and uninteresting, collartim.

1. if she doesn't understand the working-too-much aspect of being in architecture, she's unlikely to find lurking on archinect interesting either.

2. if she was filling the apartment with tacky junk, it would only get worse.

3. it sounds like this is all about you alone, not you/her. you don't exhibit any empathy and only report her actions as they affect you. she's a thinking, feeling person, man, and it doesn't sound like you gave/give her enough credit.

Sep 30, 05 9:25 am  · 
Josh Emig

Is this for real? I'm kind of with guiggster on this one. Although, if you think about a Quaker bodybuilder -- old school Quaker, like the oats guy ... it's kind of funny. Go ahead and have a laugh. Not too much.

Sep 30, 05 9:44 am  · 

Good entertainment! I'm ready to start drafting now.

Sep 30, 05 10:05 am  · 

Better now than after the house and KIDS!!!!!
Cheer up...

Sep 30, 05 10:44 am  · 

listen collartim
chotchkies will ruin your life
run tim, run away

Sep 30, 05 10:45 am  · 

women; can't live with 'em...pass the beer nuts.
c'mon down to the bar and I'll buy you a beer or sixteen.

Sep 30, 05 10:54 am  · 

i hate that i'm putting this at the top of the forum....

but everyone goes through these things and i'd like you to notice that all you've written is:

- problems she's had with you
- problems you've had with her
- issues of trust
- that she's possibly cheated on you
- the fact that you saw this coming, and did NOTHING about it
- finally, that you've completed destroyed your own sense of self worth

things you haven't mentioned:

- why you love her and need her
- that she makes you feel like the best that you could have ever been

she is definitely not worth it. go read the best advice you've ever heard thread.

Sep 30, 05 11:55 am  · 

um...yea hard luck mate....anyway, could you post the link to that porn site you DID mention...I'd fully appreciate your cooperation in this matter.Thanks!

Sep 30, 05 12:23 pm  · 

hire a porny surgi-comical escort and go to dinner. make sure the ex sees the two of you. let us know how it goes.

Sep 30, 05 2:01 pm  · 
I love archinect

man you are such a wus.

get a new girl. you are still young, she is not work it. haha

Sep 30, 05 2:12 pm  · 

i like the fact that she was looking at porn on the computer. that is really, really cool.

Sep 30, 05 2:15 pm  · 

sounds like arzo wants her number...

Sep 30, 05 2:22 pm  · 
1  · 

Reading your post made me vomit in my mouth, which was unfortunate because I was laughing so hard.

Sep 30, 05 2:26 pm  · 

"Basically, in terms of critical discussion, the versioning and serial reproduction features within a lab environment. That’s part of the discussion. The other part I would like to address just in terms of facilitating a kind of generative serial lab atmosphere. Which is basically what I’m doing at the moment. Serial lab features and script. Let’s say you want complexity. Here’s where a dynamic theory of complexity and seriality come crashing into a kind of sort of form expertise. In the LAB. This is the GOAL. Like driving into a wall. Or some critical, dynamic theoretical mix of thinking and doing and then, copying. Which is basically the theoretical crux at the moment. And the hermeneutical discourse, basically. Things will start to coincide, pretty much. Theory and my own expertise and technique. That’s one way to start to digitally facilitate. I know that the goal for me is a Dynamic Versioning Set. That’s my goal. Ultimately. Let’s hope I get there."

Sep 30, 05 2:28 pm  · 

does she not have a job? why is she sittin on her ass at home during the day? steer clear of lazy b*tches.

Sep 30, 05 2:47 pm  · 

Though I doubt it will help you out, I feel that it's worth pointing out that the majority of porn on the Internet involves big, muscular men.

No one is really into watching "a skinny, bleached-out looking guy ramming her in the rear," to use your words.

Sep 30, 05 3:35 pm  · 

i know what i'm not going to do if my wife ever leaves me because of my long hours... i wont be posting on archinect. i wouldn't be suprised if this guy never comes back. fuck.

if she ever leaves me i know what i will do though... escort orgy. no strings attached, and trained to please.

Sep 30, 05 3:37 pm  · 

BTW, was she just looking at porn with her clothes all on and stuff, or was she manipulating her privates with her legs behind her head like this?

Sep 30, 05 3:43 pm  · 

"steer clear of lazy b*tches".............couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks impalajunkie.

Sep 30, 05 3:56 pm  · 


Sep 30, 05 3:56 pm  · 

That contorting chick kind of looks like Bonnie Frankin! from that horrible show One Day At A Time!!!

Sep 30, 05 4:03 pm  · 

I've been trying to think of something to say, that would ease the pain, can't think of anything besides:
fuck yea, shes gone, its friday.
Get over it.
I was engaged, showed up at her friends house and she told me in front of everybody:
"I cheated on you, its over."
She left me with 4 cats.
@#$2months later i couldn't have been happier.

Sep 30, 05 4:46 pm  · 

I gave the cats away.

Sep 30, 05 4:47 pm  · 

wow, pretty cold.

Sep 30, 05 4:55 pm  · 

newuser, in that particular instance, i would have slapped the bitch. i've never hit anyone my entire life outside of the football field, but i would have slapped the bitch.

Sep 30, 05 4:59 pm  · 

Someone is going to need to visit

Sep 30, 05 5:00 pm  · 

151. I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better.

Sep 30, 05 5:06 pm  · 

how many do you own manteno?
momentum, i am a man of peace and love, yet I agree with you whole heartedly.
Im glad Im married to an angel.

Sep 30, 05 5:07 pm  · 

newuser, OUCH. 4 cats!

aaawwww, ain't that sweet +q.

I should have known better, but, Manteno, next time warn us if a link is work-appropriate. thanks. ;)

Sep 30, 05 5:12 pm  · 

Sorry about that
Manteno will be careful
with risque web sites

Sep 30, 05 5:14 pm  · 

the angel i'm married to thinks male genitals are punching bags(-), and is a self proclaimed bitch(+/-). she puts up with my long hours(+), can hold a conversation(+), makes a mean dinner(+) and doesn't stray(+) though, so i'll keep her till her +'s turn to -'s.

i am glad you agree +q. for a second i thought i might be out of line.

Sep 30, 05 5:18 pm  · 

You've actually posted that before. do you like the punches? is it some crazy type of foreplay?

I dont know, Im not a big fan of pain, so dont understand those that "get off" doing it.

Sep 30, 05 5:26 pm  · 

definately DO NOT get off on it. it is a big minus for her. i am slowly breaking her of it (i knock her on the top of the head or in the arm when she does, now she thinks twice.)

i don't like pain, but i have a high threshold for it, so pain in general isn't too bad, my rotator cuffs on the other hand are a huge pain if i fuck up and move them too quickly.

Sep 30, 05 5:36 pm  · 

This whole thread might qualify as the most bull$hit thing I've ever seen posted on Archinect. Well...second only to Hi All You Fancy Graphic Lovers.

Sep 30, 05 5:44 pm  · 

1. if she left, yelling at her is not going to change anything... you're best move right now is not to act on emotion, but to think honestly about her and what she wants. it's either selflessness and love from you, or its actually to be left alone (not you). either way, you can't change her feelings. or she might just need some time, leave her alone...

2. i think although it's probably hard to let go, you might actually be better off based on you're post... take this as a learning experience, and move on.

3. copy and paste this thread for your own future reference... when you get over it, you'll look back at the situation and this thread and probably laugh... and you might think about what the problem was... it might be part you, part her, and part the situation.

4. relationships require a few things to be good: empathy, mutual affection, and physical attraction (both ways). if your relationship was missing any of these, you can probably do better with another relationship. there are other fish in the sea.

Sep 30, 05 5:44 pm  · 

things are looking up for you! paris is not engaged anymore.

Oct 1, 05 1:13 pm  · 

It’s been almost a five days and she still hasn’t come back.
So yesterday, I went to that hardware store to see if that Quaker jerk was there. Because I’m positive that guy’s been having an affair with my girlfriend. I thought I would confront him, sort of. My plan was this: I’d go into that store and just kind of look around for a couple of minutes. Then, I’d go over to the plumbing section and get a copper pipe or some such thing just in case I had to protect myself. Next, I’d go up to that Quaker and say some real tough guy thing like, “Where the hell’s my girlfriend, you damn ex-Quaker guy? Huh?!” I’d smack that pipe against my hand to show him that I meant business. He’d see me holding that pipe and get real scared. He’d right away tell me where my girlfriend was, holed-up in such and such crappy motel or someplace. Then, I’d tell him his morals were crappy and everything. And that it’s no wonder the Quakers didn’t want him in their damn community. He’d say, “I know, I know.” Then, he’d just sort of breakdown and ask for my forgiveness. I’d make him promise to never see her again. Also, I’d make him promise to just stop having affairs in general, with anybody. He’d promise and everything and then I’d leave that damn store and go find my girlfriend in that motel he mentioned. I’d tell her I love her and need her back and all this other real romantic stuff. Then she’d come home and I’d make her some lunch and sort of unpack her bags.
So, anyway, that was the plan. I drove over to the hardware store. Dammit if everything didn’t get all messed up somehow! As soon as I walked into the store, I spotted him. He was standing there, the bastard, in the, “nails, blots and screws” aisle. It looked like he was re-stocking the shelves or something. He saw me and asked, “Can I help you with somethin’, buddy?” I started to get nervous because I hadn’t gotten a copper pipe or anything yet. But I went over to him anyway. I said, “Yeah, you can help me, sort of. You know where my girlfriend is?” “Who’s your girlfriend?” he says. That made me super mad, him playing innocent like that. So I said, “You know damn well who she is! She’s the one you’ve been having a damn affair with, you ex-Quaker jerk!” He just looked at me for a second. Then he gave me this big shove. Those damn hardware places always have these slick as ice floors and so I kind of fell right on my ass. Then he starts to walk toward me as if to kick me or something. I quick scurried the hell up and ran toward the exit. I was in no mood to get my ass kicked by some giant ex-Quaker. As I was running out through the door I yelled back at him, “Screw you!”
I guess it sounds pretty lame to yell “screw you” at a guy who’s in the “nails and screws” aisle of a hardware store. It sounds like a stupid joke or something. Not tough, how I meant it. So I kind of hope he didn’t hear it.
But now what he hell am I going to do? I miss her so much.

Oct 2, 05 4:05 am  · 

Sounds good. But you need more caps. Like this:

"He’d right away tell me where my girlfriend was, holed-up in such and such crappy MOTEL or someplace. Then, I’d tell him his MORALS were crappy and everything. And that it’s no wonder the QUAKERS didn’t want him in their DAMN community.

Oct 2, 05 10:00 am  · 

join the quakers?

Oct 2, 05 11:20 am  · 

Careful editing...give up now, you'll never readjust. The real world doesn't even need you. Make a splash, jump out a window (not the basement window though).
Your ex-girlfriend is now actually 'hiding' in the porno business. She performs by the name Sella Phane because she's a genius at "Shrink RAP"--she invented it apparently.

Boy oh boy does she have an imagination. Leaving you was the best thing she ever did. She's not hangin' with Quakers anymore either:

Oct 2, 05 11:44 am  · 

he came back to the discussion? amazing.

great performance in the store, couldn't have gone any better.

Oct 2, 05 2:12 pm  · 

meanwhile, ex-girlfriend and new boyfriend...

and after the hardware store...

Oct 2, 05 2:23 pm  · 


read Seneca's Ad Marciam de Consolatione ("To Marcia, for Consolation")

Oct 2, 05 2:58 pm  · 

what good is Seneca when all he want's is to go back to the way it was...

although, little did he know what those bananas were really there for.

Oct 2, 05 3:05 pm  · 

where do you get these pictures? what a great livingroom.

Oct 2, 05 5:26 pm  · 

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