64. Little Black Sambo


A team of astronomers out of the
Herzberg Institute of Astrophysics
in Ottawa headed by French-Canadian
Alain-Louis Babcock and Ugandan
Ezra Blackhorn has discovered a
heavenly body beyond the orbit of
Pluto. It is emitting low-level infrared
radiation and radio waves.
The new body seems to be a cool
star in the making, a dark compan-
ion to the Sun. Experts tentatively
name the star Little Black Sambo.
The star is unusual in that it does
not obey Kepler’s laws of motion.
Instead of revolving around the Sun
at a rate proportionately greater
than that of Pluto, it moves at the
same rate as the Earth: once a year.
This example of non-Keplerian
motion in the Solar System was
first encountered in the 1980s in the
particles composing the rings of
Saturn.
Sambo is discovered to be con-
stantly in line with the Sun and the
Earth. This means that when the
Sun is in Gemini, Sambo is in
Sagittarius; when the Sun is in Pis-
ces, it is in Virgo, and so on.
Radio telescopes are trained upon
the object and it is discovered to
be an irregular pulsar. Amateurs
around the world train their dishes
on the new object.
Alain-Louis and Ezra are flooded
with mail in Ottawa. The star is send-
ing out Morse code!
Twenty-four hours a day the Earth
is bombarded with a variety of in-
junctions, advertisements and pro-
paganda. The most common of these
seems to be ‘Black is Beautiful’,
followed by ‘White flour and sugar
can be injurious to your health’,
and ‘Drink Postum’.

Oh yea, those guys are crazy, I just thought it was funny that there actually is a 10th planet. ;)