Can you describe how your ADD manifests? I don't like researching medical stuff on the internet, so it might help me understand what it is.

I recently responded to a friend who asked that question: "I don't mean this to sound complainy, but by way of describing--ADD is like one of your kids is constantly vying for your attention quietly in the background, a dog is barking, and another kid is screaming for attention every ten minutes." It was tailored to his situation but I think it's accurate.

I'm actually not 100% convinced that what I have is really a disorder; my Myers-Briggs personality type is INTP which has a lot in common with ADD/ADHD and also the type of autism formerly called Asperger's Syndrome. Many people over the years have suggested I might have Aspergers' but I only have some of the characteristics.

Anyway... going off on tangents is an ADD trait. Mostly just having a hard time focusing on something without getting distracted, or feeling the need for distraction. There is always a song or two playing in my head, a conversation or two, about ten things I want to research... I currently have 60 tabs open in my browser and they are all open for a reason. Too many projects, too many interests.

Constant movement helps maintain focus--I'm not exactly hyper, but I almost always am tapping a rhythm with my hands, feet or toes. Sometimes just rubbing fingers together. I think most people find time in the shower to be good for thinking, but with ADD, things like showering, driving or even just walking help us focus.

On the negative side, we crave serotonin so substance abuse is common, and we don't fit well in modern office life so depression and anxiety are common as well. But because our brains are usually on overdrive, we can connect disparate ideas together and tend to be creative in an unusual way.

Auditory learning is almost impossible--anything you say to me I will understand but will not remember, including your name. Written words are slightly better but not much. I can read an entire book and enjoy it but immediately afterwards I could not tell you the main character's name or most of the plot.

I am convinced that at least 90% of people in the construction field--residential, anyway--have ADD/ADHD or personalities that trend that way, because once I started treating builders like they had ADD things got much easier for me! For a long time I had a sign over my desk that I made, "if it matters, draw it." Spoken instructions on a job site are nearly useless, I've learned hundreds of times over. I'll stop there but hopefully that gives you an idea.

I'm smelling a lot of crossover with my personality, but I don't know if that's because we see patterns when we want to or not.

Hard to say. It's definitely easy to convince yourself you have cancer when reading WebMD. I was diagnosed by both a MCLSW therapist and my primary care doc, and didn't (and don't) want to think I really have ADD, so it's not like I was looking for a diagnosis. Are there specific clues that you might have it? Not that you want an Archinect diagnosis.

I'm always putting work aside to do little things during the day, I rarely focus on anything for more than an hour.

Sneaky,

I found this video in particular helpful (maybe just because the attractive young woman could hold my attention).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cx13a2-unjE

I've been pretty sure for a while that I have some form of ADHD (see Politics Central for examples), but I've been resistant to official diagnosis or any prescriptions. I take a few supplements that help with executive dysfunction, and a one-two punch of Melatonon + THC to sleep through the night. Part of the resistance is that I feel like I get almost as much benefit from my bouts of hyperfocus as I do from my bouts of distraction (I joke that I can work twice as fast as most people, but only half the time ), and I also feel like a lot of my creativity and sense of personality comes out of my inherent restlessness. Even if it gave me a slight bump, productivity-wise, I have to imagine tempering the lows also tempers the highs, and I really don't want to take that away from myself.

So... maybe? Brains are hard.

I took meds decades ago, I didn't like how it cut off the highs as well as the lows. It's part of what has kept me from seeking them out as a tool since. Might be time, though, since I don't see therapy doing anything except giving me more information to fuel my depression brain.

Tduds, I could have written your comment. I recently started Melatonin after years of getting maybe one full nights' sleep a week, and we make our own cannabis coconut oil that I often take before bed. I was worried about what methylphenidate ("meth light") would do but I really don't notice any reduction in creativity, though I'm mostly in production mode right now. What else do you do to help with executive function? Does vitamin D help? I've been meaning to start taking it. I don't drink fortified milk and don't get as much outside time as I'd like.

I drink several cups of coffee a day and I'd say the buzz from the meds is about like having two cups of coffee, but it lasts for 12 hours.

I take Vitamin D and a GABA supplement in the morning. Melatonin + THC tincture (hooray legal cannabis!) in the evening.

 The gummies are supposed to be for stress but I find they help a lot with executive dysfunction. I've been weaning myself off the caffeine, down to 2 cups a day (sometimes a third on Saturday if I'm feeling frisky), and I drink a glass of water between coffees. 

Tangential: after the holidays I made a rule of drinking a glass of water in between anything that isn't water (coffee, beer, soda, liquor, etc.) and I have to say it's worked miracles. I sleep better, feel better, don't get hangovers. A+ highly recommend.

i don't think i have add, but a lot of what you say resonates. i don't do any thc. it's bad for me, which might suggest your chemical imbalance is different than mine. i do melatonin with whiskey to help me sleep. i also have a vitamin d supplement with morning coffee, but i got that to support my immune system because of the world now.

tduds, my bedtime routine is the same as yours, and I also take 5-htp with the GABA. Works well enough, I just have to remember to actually take it.

Have you considered trying a different type of ADHD med?

When I was first diagnosed, I was already on Wellbutrin for depression and anxiety, and also tried some other non-stimulant meds before I "gave in" to trying the Adderall. So far, I've had no temptation to take "extra" Adderall, so I'm OK with it so far.

@SneakyPete are you US-based by any chance? In the US there is a pathology definition for every little personality trait and - obviously - there is a cure for it. The reality is that personality traits such as the ones you describe can be leveraged. If you are the person that always points out why things may not work out in projects, there's nothing wrong with that: a project needs that kinds of insight, because - especially larger projects - tend always to overrun. There are always the optimistic guys who always get excited (I'm sure there's a pathological definition for them too), you are simply tilting the scale in the opposite direction.

Replying to myself to add: menopause is a fucking trip. If any upper middle aged women out there want to discuss how brutal menopause is feel free to message me privately!

I saw that tweet too Donna and thought it was fantastic. "... freedom to make accomplishments again," was the part that hit home for me. Sometimes we just need to allow ourselves to take a W.

I love that so much! Life gets a lot more livable once you realize most of it is made up, and you have the ability to make up what works best for you. 

I still struggle with all sorts of things, but that simple mindset has got me & my wife through so much - most importantly in our relationship. We invent our own roles & expectations for each other (to hell with gender roles!), and that simple trick has thwarted nearly every fight. It feels unfair how little we fight.

i want to second on the imposter syndrome issue. it's been such a big drag on my own enjoyment of work for many years. i feel like it's something arch school culture really drives into people, the sense of never being good enough. i think it's more perniciously damaging then the visibly unhealthy culture of overwork, just because it's hidden often even to those suffering it.

I'm surprised to hear that imposter syndrome is common. I figured it was my cross, as a non-architect in an architects' world. Goes to show that many of our struggles are widely shared, just not discussed enough.

I think if you actually asked people individually, you'd find nearly everybody has imposter syndrome. Myself included. Doesn't surprise me at all.

not my experience BB. i seem to be around a lot of people with dunning-kruger

Non, I too have so often been a stubborn mule who has to fix things myself - I'm terrible at asking for help, as I feel it's weak for me to not just do it on my own. But, I never think of anyone else as weak when *they* ask for help, I'm happy to and think they're logical to assess their situation and make it work better by enlisting help! It's that thing about extending grace to yourself, which I still often suck at. I think I've told the story here that I once drove four or five carloads of garbage in my little hatchback Festiva from the architecture studio to the dumpster rather than ask one of the many guys I knew with trucks to help me do it in one load. And also: your son is so loved, and that's the most important thing. I am certain you are doing a fantastic job with him.

Both Robin Williams' and Anthony Bourdains' suicides really got to me as well. I can't watch either of them, just get too sad. I watched Mork and Mindy as a kid and loved him ever since. I was also a fan of Chris Cornell, or his music anyway, but his suicide did not affect me the same way.

I hear you on the stubborn mule thing. It drives my wife crazy that I will not ask for help with most things. I do try to share things because as a healthy, educated, white American male I feel a responsibility to reduce the stigma attached to things like mental health or business failures, but it doesn't come naturally.

I'm sorry about your struggles with your son, Non. If it helps at all, I didn't speak until over 2yo, but apparently my first words were, "George Washington." Unfortunately some people just don't get brains wired the same as most people. I'm sure you are a supportive father and husband; there's only so much you can do.

Thanks for the well whishes.

I don't believe any of that generational skipping tosh, myself. You provide a good example for your children and it'll teach them the proper mechanisms for dealing with temptation. Or it won't. Neither of those puts the fault on you OR genetics, really. I'm sorry to hear the story of your family, reminds me of my mother's side. I'm glad your experience has been positive even with all of that weight.

That's why I can't be an employee anymore. Not that self-employment is easy, but when I get undercut, at least it's my own doing. Sorry that happened ;-(

I'm typically a PM but I have a big exciting project starting up soon and I was doing some sketching a few weeks ago. The next morning, one of our designers picks it up and says directly to me "there's no FUCKING way you're designing that" and I agreed. Ha!

What a dick. This profession fucking sucks. We bitch, piss, moan, complain, and whine about not having talented people, then we take people and treat them like roughly human shaped tools, to be used up and discarded. Architecture as royal court, where the scullery workers should be happy to be working.

I'd start polishing my resume...

I'm gonna see my doc about some meds first, then give them time to help. I don't want to start a new job in the same mindset I am currently buried under.

Closest I ever came to a moment like this was a couple years back. I was noodling on a design that we hadn't quite been given the green light on, just kicking up some pre-SD concepts to present to a client at a moment's notice if the moment arose. Found out via some curious files in the same folder that a different principal had later given a coworker the exact same project without telling me, and that version had already been pushed to the client. It may have been unintentional but it came off as a complete dismissal, like the opportunity had just been stolen from me. 

I was livid for a moment, but after a walk and a beer I just shifted all my attention to other work. Chump don't want any help, chump don't get no help.

I've found it's always a roll of the dice as to how much any firm is going to allow you to be creative. A lot of firms claim they are a place where "good ideas can come from anyone", but that's rarely really true in my experience.

I don't need to be the fat pen person. I can thrive on details, renderings, modeling, whatever. Design is many parts of many things. What cheeses me off is when I put effort in and it's akin to shouting in space. Might as well not even waste the breath.

but... "Stop giving yourself rules." is a rule. Should we instead say that we should only give ourselves one rule to rule all rules? But then we'd need 2 rules. That one and the no giving rules one, and then it's still just layers of turtles. There is a LotR pun to make here, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Consider the spirit rather than the letter....

"Everything in moderation, including moderation."

We sound very similar, across the board. I was design manager at a design/build firm and operations manager at a panelized construction company; my personality and talents were not a good match for those roles.

I am now reasonably happy working for myself designing homes and renovations, currently with help from a few architect consultants/subcontractors. I should really expand into a real firm with employees but I know from experience that the Peter Principle would kick in again and I'd be unhappy and probably unsuccessful.

Have you done personality testing? I have found learning about my Myers-Briggs type, INTP, to be helpful; I wouldn't be surprised if you found the same.

"I've worked in some horribly dysfunctional offices in the past that were somehow successful, but I think a few of those offices were run by people who were independently wealthy and socially connected to a degree that they were able to practice architecture as a hobby. Unless I win the lottery or marry rich someday, I don't have those advantages."

Possibly apocryphal story about my first firm's early years:

One of my bosses was once told "You treat this profession like a hobby!" by his partner. The partner doing the yelling wasn't, as far as I know, wealthy, but the one being yelled at was.

If you have the skills you think you do, you can run a firm. success depends on your metrics combined with an unfortunate amount of good fortune. So many people who run things simply have false bravado ands that seems to keep them from being scrutinized to the degree that employees are.

INTJ here, although I take Myers-Briggs with a grain of salt.

I was on a project team that was going to take the personality test in order to help build team unity and understand each others' personality traits and how they could be better utilized, etc. Turns out they didn't think I was important enough (really they didn't want to pay for me) to have to take the test because I didn't normally work with everyone on the team, and wasn't involved on a daily basis ... so I have no idea what I am. I'm generally curious, but not enough that I really want to take it.

You can find it online if you wanna spend the time.

At a previous job our entire company took the Meyers-Briggs before a company retreat. The results were interesting but more than anything they functioned as an ice-breaker for people in the two offices meeting for the first time. I don't think any management decisions or team building ever came of it.

One funny anecdote is that one of the 16 archetypes in this test was "Architect" and only one person in the office got that result.

This is the most recent Myers-Briggs based test I took, and I have found the supporting information to be very helpful: https://www.16personalities.com/.

I have noticed over the years that INTP and INTJ people tend to like Myers-Briggs; it helps those of us who don't necessarily relate well to others or understand what makes them tick, as well as ourselves.

Those who test as Extravert or especially those who test as Feelers almost never like or put any stock in Myers-Briggs--they don't have to, because they tend to have a more intuitive understanding of people, and/or they don't consider it important. Gross generalizations, I know, but I have seen it repeatedly.

The most benefit comes from reading all of the descriptions, not just "getting labeled."

Another personality test is Enneagram; it's similar but different than Myers-Briggs, and again, it's the follow-up research that is most useful, at least in my experience. ADD/ADHD and ASD are often INTPs and tend to benefit from the self-directed personality research that Myers-Briggs provides.

You are just shy. Understand that it's something you can work on. Take it slow, understand your limitations and dont be ashamed it will take you longer to be comfortable in a more social role. Your firm and society will say differently but being a trustworthy, reliable individual contributor I think is a much better asset than a loudmouthed inexperienced young PM.

Archi-dude, "you are just shy" is a dismissive and demeaning statement to someone who has listed multiple legitimate reasons why they struggle. Perhaps you meant it constructively, but as someone with similar traits and experiences as LIG it does not come across that way. I agree with the rest of what you wrote.

x-jla, I might have mentioned it before, but if you're on Facebook I think you'd like the INTP groups I'm in there--several posters share your interest in and approach to discussing politics.

Or its a normalizing statement that let's one know they aren't alone and get over their shortcomings so they don't self diagnose a list of traits making themselves feel even worse and hopeless.

Having grown up being told, "you're just shy, you'll outgrow it" and 20 years later realizing that no, I'm an introvert, have a speech disorder, anxiety and depression, and that there are ways to learn how to deal with all of those instead of just waiting to outgrow being "shy" and the resulting depression and disillusionment with life in general instead of being guided toward resources that would have helped me at a much younger age, from my perspective I would say no, it's not a "normalizing statement." But if you're an extraverted person well suited to today's society, I can see how you could think it would be, so I'm not judging you.

Apparently I'm a unique personality type - INFJ,-A/-T

I need more letters after my name in my email signature and business card. How do I go about finding out which letters to add? I might need a wider business card.

Take some version of the Myers / Briggs test. You'll get a whole bunch of letters after your name.

Alternately, take a bunch of LEED exams.

Myers Briggs is way less expensive and about as useful.

cool beans. I took the first one that did'nt require an email/account. ESTP-A is my result. Sounds more like horoscope stuff tho, I'm sure I could "see myself" in almost any of them on any given day.

"Entrepreneurs leap before they look, fixing their mistakes as they go, rather than sitting idle, preparing contingencies and escape clauses."

Fun.  I've always said that I'll dive straight in without bother to check if the water is deep enough... let alone, if there is any water, or even a pool.

Exactly. The Myers / Briggs type test are a bunch of BS.

I got INFP-A. Reading the profile there was a lot that seemed to resonate, and other items that really didn't seem to describe me. It does seem to describe my inputs on the politics central thread though.

I always wonder if it took these types of test regularly if I'd get similar results. I usually rarely agree or disagree strongly to the statements they present you with. But given the mood I'm in on any particular day I could see myself answering with stronger opinions. Remind me in 6 months to take the test again and we'll see if I get the same result.

Taken the M-B multiple times and I always come out decisively ENTJ. I don't think that would surprise any of the regulars around here.

ENFP / ENFJ (depends on the day) here.

I was really hoping I'd get NSFW.

The one I took at work came back GTFO.

I may be a INFJ,-A/-T but I want to be a GFYA

Chad, what's the "-A/-T" add on? Never seen more than the big 4 letters.

according to the website it's -A for assertive types, and -T for turbulent types: https://www.16personalities.com/articles/assertive-advocate-infj-a-vs-turbulent-advocate-infj-t

Not sure how Chad gets both at the same time

I'm special. Or so that website says. It's a personality type called the 'Advocate' and comprises only 1% of the population. Again so they say.

I'm a wizzard!

As I noted, personality tests aren't effective for everyone, and on any given day you may find yourself in any of the descriptions. So in some ways it is like astrology. But for some of us, those who find categorizing traits and tendencies as a way to understand others and ourselves, it can be a useful tool. It's based on actual research so there are truths to discover if you want to take the time to look. The initial overview is light at best. A/T is assertive/turbulent. I'm a "T," more of a worry-wart and less decisive than an A.

haha, i actually didn't expect it...(& I don't put much earnest faith in it either...)

It's unfortunate that they chose a profession to represent a type. It sends a bad message to anyone in the profession who isn't the type and leads people outside the profession to assume those are shared traits for every architect.

i did a personality test during therapy once and the first question literally was "would you rather be a therapist or an architect?" As if one person couldn't actually enjoy both. I asked her if she was trying to switch jobs with me :D fwiw i'd put therapist on my list of 5 alternative careers i'd love to try if i had 150 years to do everything again.

My Myers-Briggs is the Healer/Mediator/Empath/Therapist one. I flip to extrovert easily as the Campaigner/Champion (INFP + a couple of beers = ENFP).

Guys, all this personality test-type stuff is largely worthless. Do not let yourselves be pigeonholed by anyone, much less by a definition that can be summed up in 4-5 letters.

The human condition is incredibly varied. Each individual knows something the rest of us don't. Everyone is different, and squeezing people's entire lives and experiences into a small labeled box does a great disservice to mental health.

i find a very clear relationship between drinking coffee and my temper. it seems to build up over a few days if i drink 1-2 cups daily and then i'll start being really irritable. so i try to keep it to 4-5 per week.

mental hygiene, love that term.

Manic is such an excellent word for so much of what we do in architecture, it's really no wonder mental health issues are rampant. Get rest, y'all!

“ That plus some need for adrenaline or other kind of rush pushes me to distractions, eating up every moment except those remaining ones necessary to do an actually decent job just as the timer runs out. (Think every bomb-disarming scene you've ever seen in a movie.) After that, I almost don't know what to do with myself until I sense the next deadline looming.”

I’m exactly like this, since high school...always delaying finalising things, there’s always more to research and discover, new concepts to try and test, while the clock is ticking and the anxiety starts building up in the back of your head. Until all panic takes over and late nights working to finish it all. And after the work is done and the deadline met you tell yourself that next time you’ll do things differently...But the pandemic and working from home has also forced me to really do change things, can’t “waste” time that’s simply not there anymore...

I like talking with a therapist every other week because frankly she is a completely uninterested party to whom I can say anything without judgment. It’s wonderful! I don’t owe her any of my mental energy or empathy. It’s amazing.

Exactly, Donna. Trained, paid listener.

Donna, I would argue that those 'feeling like you can’t identify with anything here'  are not human.

Everyone, sooner or later, struggles with stuff. The reality is that many people tend to stick their head in the sand, or to be in denial about their mental health. But we *all* have - or have had - to deal with difficulties in our daily lives. And most of what we deal with originates from how we see the world - our mental map, so to speak.

Some may call it stress, some may call it mental health. Some may just say 'today I lost it'.

I have yet to come across to a person who's only experienced bliss in life.

mightyaa was this in the US?

Holy shit.

Damn dude, that's some shit to deal with. I hope the sharing helps but +1 on deleting it sooner rather than later before it gets logged into the internet archive. Bare minimum, maybe ask the mods to hide the post?

Wow. Thank you for sharing that, mighty.  Sounds like you've done well keeping it together in the face of all odds and idiots.

I agree with wariness and avoidance of social-services types out to avenge imaginary wrongs, potentially poisoning young minds. (When you're a self-righteous, poorly trained hammer, every kid's home life is a nail. My brother's family suffered at the hands a destructive 'are you sure you weren't abused?' counselor.)

And I second that you should probably pull this down. I still recall that person obsessed with a certain spreadsheet a few years ago getting offended, then launching into online research to ID their offenders here. Scary.

Yes Donna... this is the US. Seriously, google the padded rooms in schools; I didn't know about them at all. Lots of Districts use them, not just here.

https://goldmedalsafetypadding.com/safety-padding-industries/school-safety-padding/

Reading that page made me throw up in my mouth.

Btw; this isn’t the most traumatizing part of my life story. Plenty more to add to the shit show; I’ve skipped a lot… Part of me is thankful for my mental condition. Others used horrible coping mechanisms and escapism inflicting more trauma. Unfortunately, I doubt I’m deep in that spectrum… I still hurt, I still have to practice coping exercises and mental tricks refined over years, that is my ‘norm’. There are good mental health professionals and bad ones. The key is finding the good ones which at least in my experience tend to be somewhat rare. If you are seeking help, I know the better ones tend to give homework and focus on healing more than rehashing. They’ll also do tests. Drugs aren’t candy, aren’t a solution, and have side effects too… I’ve got some more stories on that and more scars.

https://www.newsweek.com/why-are-schools-locking-so-many-our-kids-664889

I've actually been involved on both ends of this (the padded/isolation room thing).

I was once punished in 6th grade with a day of "in-school suspension" where I was basically locked in an isolation room like this the entire time. It could have been padded, I actually don't fully recall, but it was something a kid should never have to deal with (full stop).

I've been involved in designing actual behavioral healthcare facilities in hospitals, and we didn't use padded isolation rooms like this. There is no reason a padded room needs to be the solution (full stop).

P.s. The school I attended in 6th grade has since been demolished ... the isolation room along with it.

Hey, I was thinking that as architects, this is one area we can change; Refuse to design these cells into the schools we design. Kinda pisses me off knowing an architect out there designed this space into a elementary school.

... I'm going to go give little NS a big hug after reading this. Most schools here have safe spaces but all it is a corner with a bean-bag chair and books, often inside a little tent, so the kids can distance themselves from their environment when they need to.

@mightyaa I'm not a parent but am shocked at how your daughter was treated at school by people who are there to educate her.....Who puts a child in a padded closet? I might be a bit naive in this matter but schools here in the UK do not have padded rooms and I've never heard anyone ever mention one.

I'm sure you're right. That's terrible. It's not all horrible though - there are the other 50% of kids who are shy or introverted or bullied, who are thriving. We ask them to put up with our outgoing culture for whatever reason, and I think this will help even the playing field. Let the extroverts feel like the introverts for a while. Maybe they'll even learn from it.

Don’t know if “let the extroverts feel like the introverts for a while” is the way to go
It’s not like the introverts fee like extroverts normally, they still feel like introverts but forced to live in a society that apparently rewards extrovertism. As if extroverts have a choice needing the attention all the time, my god I would be exhausted if I always needed external confirmation.

And the extraverts say, "my god I would be exhausted if I needed so much time to myself."

rando - I've designed about a dozen school in my career ranging from grade school - high school. Only in one of these schools where there 'padded rooms' and that was in a school for students with severe emotional and mental trauma. These 5' x 5'' padded rooms (colored peptobismol pink) didn't have doors and were for students who where having a violent, uncontrolled outburst. 

 The room is intended to be used as a time our room for the child to tire themselves out by literally bouncing off the walls without hurting themselves or a teacher. The teachers stands at the doorway (no door) and doesn't have to try and restrain the student. For really bad cases where the student could hurt themselves or is having a mental health crisis the teachers would call EMS and the student would be taken to a hospital.

I didn’t get that from mighty’s post above...it also didn’t seem necessary to be put in such a room in that case or EA’s for that matter. I’m afraid having such a room makes schools want to use them...

I can remember exactly zero similar incidents during my time at school in the 80s. And no, kids haven't changed that much. This is a crutch being used by teachers and boards who see kids as less than human. Disgusting.

This might be a case of "how it started ... how it's going." Also roads being paved with good intentions, yada yada yada. I'm not disagreeing with what Chad says (I've been in on those discussions too). What I'm seeing is that while they might have initially been good about their use, I think people get lazy and take shortcuts and maybe they evolve over time to be used in a way that was never intended. It's a administration and people problem, not so much a design problem.

And oddly enough, a budget problem. Before cuts, you had a team in the 'resource center'; like speech therapist, sign language interpreters, audiologist, physical therapy, etc. After cuts; just one person and rotating specialist shared across the District; like the speech therapist might be there just on Mondays. So if you have more than one kid in there, you put the others in the closet until you can deal with them individually. That one person also sitting on their rear; they're back to back appointments with a individual student that's scheduled to be in there. And the trouble my daughter would do is more like: she'll look you in the eye, reach up, and turn the hearing aids off letting you know she could care less what you are saying... as a father, I've gotten that treatment a lot throughout middle school and high school. oh.. and the HS sneaky; hearing aids are bluetooth now, so she'll sync to her phone and stream music like a headset. A lot of schools use these rooms as punitive; special needs kids don't get sent to the office, they go here. 

In the case that I mentioned it's important to note that in my career time out rooms are a rare, and specialized occurrence. In the school I mentioned that uses such rooms the students all have severe emotional issues - this is not a typical school. Each classroom has three teachers, each with degrees in counseling. If a student has to be put in the time out room a teachers goes with them and remains with them until the student calms down. An on stall phycologist is also called to the time out room whenever it is used. Students are never left along with a single teacher, ever. Typically a student is in a time out room for 10-20 minutes. I have no idea if these time out rooms are a good idea or not, I'm just conveying my experience with designing a school that has two of them.

You've done well to make it through all of that! Bullies are the worst, though they are often dealing with their own struggles as well, they have no right to take it out on others. Kudos for getting counseling to help deal with it.

It makes me so sad to think about kids feeling unsafe at school. I’m sorry you had to deal with that Jaetten. And especially that no adult would step in to help.

Thank you, I hold no grudge to those involved. I know that some of them has serious issues at home. Thing is, kids don’t talk and if they did (myself included) situations like that could be avoided. Not always, but I suspect a good amount could.

"his last years in Germany"

I'm guessing you're on the 12% now?

I know, right? The armor of invincibiloty!

As I told a friend who really enjoys their wine and weed--no matter how many depressants I take, I just don't feel any better.

It's fleeting.

Miracle Alien Cookies is my mood enhancer of choice

I have a very close family member with bipolar. He's a design director who's worked for the biggest and best product companies in the world (Nike, Apple, etc). I can't tell you where he is now because it'll give away his identity, but he's currently helping his employer (billion dollar company) go net zero with their entire product line. Keep it up!

I'll admit to bending over for my clients all too often, but I don't work overtime and I specifically ask my staff to do the same. I tell them - very clearly - that if they're working overtime, it's because management has screwed up. If there's an emergency that requires it, then staff bank the hours and I ask them to take that time off within two weeks, ideally, because they probably need a break. Then again, I'm not chasing magazine covers.

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. I'm glad you're doing better.

Good on you for getting out of a bad situation. Especially good on you for doing something as hard as the Syllabus program to make the second half of your life better.

Thanks :) Remember the show Night Court and Harry's father would say "but I feel much better now" with a huge smile. That's how I feel..lol

I'm never married myself, but I watched both of my parents' lives improve dramatically once they realized they didn't belong together - I wish they'd done it at least 5 years sooner, if not 10, since it was kind of a stressful household for my sister and me growing up.

I met with a residential client recently, who I had done work for previously when she and her husband were still married and living in a big ass house. We got to talking about age and I said “yeah but you’re much younger than I am” But it turns out she’s actually four years older than me. I was agog and said how is it that you look so great?! And she laughed and replied “Divorce!!” Good for you Almosthip!

Is fear okay? Because that image freaks me out.

Have you seen Ant Man and The Wasp? Tardigrades!

.

It sounds like very typical idiot CM-PM language. Because of the effects extreme weather events and COVID on members of the building teams, basically no projects I'm involved with are getting done on schedule. Obsessing about schedules in this moment is foolish and will only make you and your staff crazy.

^^thumbs-down as a joke. Sort of...

Those jeans are back in style!

I'm not clicking on those links. Nope. Not gonna do it.

Chad, don't be afraid. B3 is never going to let you down.

Oh damn, now I'm glad I didn't click on the links.

Go on, do it! 60fps!

I just now realized where several family members got their dance moves.

4k, 60fps REALLY enhances it...

Actually, I totally dance like that. The hand motions and everything. Hack into my home security system kitchen camera some evening while I'm making dinner and listening to Bob Marley and you'll totally see me doing it.

how much snow/ice are you guys getting?

[I'm also in pdx] We had 3 days of storm & unseasonable cold producing ice/snow, then a warmup. Trees were failing under the snow/ice; and then, when it melted, they were failing as the loads reduced. Neighbor across the street from me had a tree down on his house with a branch speared thru his attic into his dining room. We had ice damming on our house. PDX metro is melted at this point. Our power/data are above ground here & areas with trees really saw a bunch of damage & outages. We were out at my place for 3 days, but am just hearing that my tax guy is now 8 days without power. Places south like Salem had mostly ice/sleet.

Before the melt started we had 2-3" of solid ice on everything. We were just south of the snow line, so we only got freezing rain and high winds. Most of the damage in the region w as done by falling trees + limbs.

yeah, the winds too...forgot about that

Got it, thanks. We typically get one 25-30mm ice storm per year here and a few 30cm (or one 40+) snow days so most of the weak trees get culled naturally thus there is, fortunately, few sudden mass felling of trees. One tree did fall on my buddy's car during a 50mm ice storm last year and left live power cables all over the yard. I'm looking out my office window right now and laughing at the "weather advisory" notice. Ooooo, 4" of snow. time to panic.

We had 2 days of snow, max 10cm and a week below 0 Celsius temperatures, people loved it, ice skating on the canals or on the lakes, so much nostalgia...the cracking of the ice while skating when you’re the first one on it, must be one of my favourite sounds.

"cue heavy french-canadian accent" 

 Amateurs.

sorry.

The Willamette Valley, here in the PNW, is def not used to cold winter weather. Snow on the valley floor is typically an oddity. Many native OR friends here don't have winter tires unless they are skiers. We are a zone that does the stereotypical milk/bread/TP panic when the ground gets white.

I grew up outside Boston so I definitely understand winter weather. but the Portland area has some, to say the least, unique characteristics that make snow / ice events here a nightmare. Here's a good thread about it from last week https://twitter.com/PDXJenni/status/1359909598715547650

well, that was a well spent 10mins... what a trip and I did not even need to show a negative corona test result to go. In that time, I'd estimate about 10mm of snow fell here.

My brother's family outside of Salem finally got power back last night, after 9 days without. A couple of nights at a motel with heat and hot water got them through the final stretch.

tduds, you know what's weird? it's that Minnesotans can handle snow fine, but they suck at rain, in spring/summer/fall.

I like to think we have something to make up for all our hack politicians and idiot celebrities.

Personally, I'd prefer honest officials and some occasional snow.

The past few days have been sunny and near 60. The ice is long gone but the downed trees are still being cleaned up. My mental state is so tied to sunlight, I'm realizing as I age. It's starting to get light around 6-6:15 and I wake up naturally by 6:45 every day. In the darkest days of December I was struggling to pry myself out of bed before 8. Also drinking less alcohol on the weekdays seems to help ;)

planned ob·so·les·cence /noun/

a policy of producing consumer goods that rapidly become obsolete and so require replacing, achieved by frequent changes in design, termination of the supply of spare parts, and the use of nondurable materials.

Unfortunately, a longstanding economic and business practice.  Pairs well with 190-proof grain alcohol.

Something something grabbed you by the balls something.

I overheard some staff talking about door schedules in AutoCAD vs Revit today... I had a giggle as I was about to throw my laptop out the window because of MS Word - it's still useless after all these years and probably even more frustrating than ever. The fact that we still have to use Word templates to submit proposals for some projects is just ridiculous.

Pencils, vellum, and erasers are unchanged and still available, but board covers are getting scarce.

We got that, plus 40's!

It's going to be 65 F here!

If you mean eliminating all the various personnel, Miles, I'll drive the getaway car for you. If you mean just eliminating contact and exposure, that's good too.

btw, nice to have you back.

Be prepared for a decline if you stick around here.

Interesting. I'm the opposite. Switching isn't easy but I get energized by working on a million little things. But at 5 o'clock, I'm wiped out. I don't have the option of working on just one project any more, so I've got to make it work for me. On a side note, I started back at therapy this week and while I know it's going to help in the long run, I know I'm going to have to start facing my challenges in a healthier way rather than pushing everything down inside and ignoring my emotions. That said, it's beer o'clock. Cheers

a lot of times when i switch from one thing to the next i take a walk down and up the stairwell or pace the corridor for a minute. also look outside at something far away for a minute.

Interesting observation. Rings true for me. I usually pride myself for being able to switch gears quickly, and often. But for the last few years it seems to be getting more difficult. By mid-afternoon I need a break to clear my brain before my evening shift. And now that you mention it, I can definitely only focus on one project when I work an evening shift.

since wfh, i've stopped measuring my days in hours worked and instead on tasks completed. the 9 hour day feels like such a relic of physical office life. instead, now i feel like i have much more autonomy to determine my schedule based on the work that is in front of me, and nothing else.

i'm never going back.

For me it's not about the amount of time it takes to complete a specific task - it's got to do more with 'what type of task do I feel like tackling right now' or also 'what task can I tackle with the mental resources I have available right now' meaning, sometimes I am too tired to do conceptual work but I can do more menial tasks.

Probably the ability to best allocate tasks according to mental disposition is a skill in itself.

Dude, sorry to hear about your troubles. Tell the therapist with the six-month commitment to go fuck herself. Take the money you would throw away on that and spend it on a home health care aide. Even if it's only a few hours a day or a few days a week it will give you a break. A friend is in a similar spot and found a Jamacian woman who is like Mother Teresa and now lives with them. Room and board is a form of payment and there are plenty of people who are in deep shit right now, more so than usual. Also, if you can do some yoga and meditation, it's important to take care of yourself, and stress is a killer. Good luck.

i mean the rate might be high, perhaps there are other options, but i think you're doing the right thing by seeking therapy, which i know is hard. i'm also frugal and wasn't a fan of spending money, but i did therapy several years ago, for about the same length of time, and it changed everything for me regarding family issues. can't imagine where i'd be without it.

maybe it's even a business expense??

this is very difficult. the family stress will always make everything else seem impossible. from my experience that fee is reasonable, and if you find the therapist helpful, absolutely worth it.

I've tried therapy a few times and for the reasons you state I always end up being more stressed about it than less. But would never discourage someone from trying it! 

I like Miles' suggestion to take that money and spend it lightening the load from these other parts of your life - either with a home health care aide, so yoga or meditation classes, or put that $1000 a month towards hiring help for your business... lots of ways to help yourself.

Finding a therapist you have a good rapport with is vitally important. In a perfect world I wish all therapists offered, say, 3 sessions for no out-of-pocket (ie free if not covered by insurance), but even if paying out of pocket I would treat early therapy sessions like dating - the first session is primarily to determine whether there'll be a second, second to decide on a third, and only on the third session should you be thinking about a long term relationship. Cross your fingers you don't have to try 1-3 sessions with very many before you find "the one", but connecting with the right therapist is worth the trouble, IMHO.

A therapist asking for a 6 month commitment before the first session is exactly the same as a potential partner asking for the same before the first date.

I have no advice, but want to give you encouragement and let you know I respect you for the work you do and value you bring to the discussions here and elsewhere.

I'm sorry to hear of all those challenges piled up for you, WG.  That's a ton of stuff.  Lightening your load by deleting some stuff on the to-do list is wise here-- you report that it already helps your mental state, which is my experience, too.

Getting help as needed (therapy, home healthcare, etc) is also worth pursuing, as folks here point out. I'd argue that if the providers are good, the cost is generally worth it, at least for now. That said, the pricey Big Apple shrink who wants an extended commitment sends up red flags for me. The remote capability that makes her a viable option also applies to many other therapists, of course. I just spent some time looking for and starting with a therapist, whom so far is a good fit. I feel better and less burdened already, just having someone to fully listen to my stuff and offer some feedback. A good therapist will be akin to all of the positive counsel you get here on MHC, hopefully with none of our bonehead comments ;o]

Update: I had three sessions with the NYC therapist/executive coach and pulled the plug.

It's interesting to see the parallels between what I/we do and what they do. I expected her to ask me a lot of questions, and even told her before we started that I assumed it would take several sessions to finish telling her my story, and after that I assumed we would discuss an approach. As I would do with a client. Instead she did a lot of pontificating, a lot of asking me questions about where in my body I felt a specific emotion, if I could feel the chair and floor pushing against my feet, and a lot of loooong pauses that I guess were supposed to be for me to reflect but they just made me uncomfortable as I calculated how much I was paying to sit in silence.

Overall I got one good tip on breathing. When I told her I wanted to try out some other therapists and approaches she tried to get me to stay by saying my discomfort was normal. I expect discomfort, but also to have some sense that she knows what she's doing or understands me, instead of jumping into the deep end of "feeling my body" when what I want is to work through some specific issues.

The experience did give me new empathy for my clients, who I don't always treat as well as I should, and reaffirms my decision to scale back significantly and provide excellent service to just a few clients at a time.

This week I researched therapists available that would take my insurance; not that I'll ever reach my $13K deductible through therapy but at least if there is a major incident it will count. I called three; one returned the call and she happened to be the most promising, an actual psychologist and also a trained executive coach.

I know more than I did a month ago and will talk with her next week. Overall things are feeling much better anyway. Thank you all for your support. 

I have a family member that needed some counseling & it took a couple of "dates" with therapists to find the right one. My family member now has a very productive relationship with the right therapist now. It is remarkable how pragmatic some of the therapist's ideas are for my family member (when he shares). Someone is out there that can help...

Sorry Wood guy, that sounds awful. I have been in therapy many times and it was never like that. My best experience with a therapist was with a social worker because most all of my mental health issues were/are socially and familially derived.

Though this one wasn't a keeper, WG, it sounds like your approach was just right: (i) try out this person who may be able to help me; (ii) give them enough chance to do that; and (iii) cut 'em loose when they fail. Don't forget (iv) try again, using referrals and other intel to find a good fit. And of course (v), tell your friends here how it's going.

Thanks tintt and citizen. I know I'm treating this like a personal journal; hopefully anyone annoyed by that can skip over my posts.

I mostly found it comical--I kept wondering when she was going to ask about, well, anything I consider significant. She probably had a good point--that if I want to get in touch with my feelings, a cognitive approach may not work. But I'm not sure where she got the idea that getting in touch with my feelings was my biggest issue. 

Yes, finding a good therapist is hard. And they are expensive. Sort of the 'feel' stuff your therapists did, I think maybe she was going down the line of one of my old ones. By focusing on the touch, like starting with your toes and slowly working your way up your body, it 'quiets' my head. Breathing and muscle control are a part too. That leads to other meditation exercises to get mental breaks and some refresh. I can't turn my thinker off, but can get some quiet time if I refocus my thoughts. If you keep at it, those quiet times become easier.

why would they start at the body part furthest away from where mental health issues reside? (partly joking)

The "identify where you're feeling anxious" thing has been typical of the 3 therapists I've seen. It's a tool. I feel like I can identify with WG recently as I've been to about 4 sessions now with a new therapist and I'm not sure I'm really getting much out of it. He asks very few questions but as I'm not currently in a crisis (like I have been with other therapists in the past), maybe that's normal. I have cut down on drinking though and I'm sleeping a little better, so I'll stick it out a little longer and see where this goes I guess.

Proto, I didn't mean to leave you out in my response above. It definitely feels like dating, though I can barely remember what that was like ;-)

Her reason for starting with identifying where feelings are in my body, feeling the floor against my feet and chair against my butt etc. is, according to her, that we don't just feel feelings in our body, the feelings actually originate in our body. She has studied it a lot more than I have so it's not that I don't believe her, it's just a big jump for me to make.

BB, good to know I'm in good company. Kudos on cutting back on drinking--same here, or at least trying to.

Wood - It sounds like your previous therapist was having you do exercise to get you to be in the moment. AKA - stop thinking about everything else going on that you need to do and for a few minutes just experience life right then. It can be a good calming technique.

Chad, that's very likely part of it. She could have articulated that. When I "broke up with" her, she focused on my desire to be more in touch with my feelings, vs my generally cognitive approach. In our introductory conversation I explained my interest and research in Myers-Briggs personality types, what my type is, that I have been diagnosed with ADD and that many people have suggested that I might be on the autism spectrum. I don't use those as crutches, quite the opposite. She hinted a few times that she doesn't believe in those things, or that she doesn't think they apply to me. I dunno.

She was also late to each of our appointments, including almost 30 minutes late to the last one, and knew that I had a standing meeting directly after ours that I couldn't miss. I just did not feel any sort of spark with her after our initial phone call. Probably just as much on me as her. I'm looking forward to talking with someone else next week.

It dose sound like your previous therapist didn't explain things well. I hope you find someone new to help out.

XLJA, do you mean for my mom? She's still pretty self-sufficient, I just need to provide emotional support and remind her (daily) that it's important to take all of her meds, even if she feels good that day, take her to doctors' appointments, make her walk around the block when she's up for it. In the future I agree that home health care would be good, but for now it just takes time and emotional energy from me.

I'll talk to her about it. Fortunately she was a state employee and has excellent insurance, which might cover an aide. I'm glad your brother is doing well in the group home. My SIL used to work at one, got her RN license and now serves that population in a hospital setting. She also has mental health issues so she understands what her patients are dealing with.

Wood guy, if you are intellectual, then that is the approach you seek. I understand her approach to get you into your body and it's effectiveness, but she failed to engage you where you are at, a fatal error on her part. She wanted you to be where she is at instead of her being where you are at. And being late to appointments is unacceptable. I'm glad you are moving past her.

Thanks AN, I shared partly to vent and partly because I think it's important to destigmatize mental health problems (which are just health problems). I'm in central/coastal Maine but with the magic of Zoom it doesn't matter where the therapist is.

That's not a mental condition, it is simply a compassionate response, something that not enough of us have. Celebrate that you are one of the few.

Wow, Donna, are you me? I sometimes get overwhelming waves of guilt from things that happened 5,10 years ago like this.

I know the guilt spiral well, but while thoughtfulness and consideration for what others are going through may seem like a mental condition these days, it's the opposite. It was probably not a big deal to her, and likely made her feel good to feel extra helpful. You could leave her a token of appreciation and everyone wins.

I suffer from this condition as well. INTENSE AND UNWAVERIG COMPASSION FOR EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING but myself. 

Mental conditions are not mental ILLNESSES.

XJLA, you might have seen the meme going around last year about what kind of person doesn't put away their shopping cart? I feel strongly about returning carts, but of course everyone gets the occasional pass. I shared the meme on Facebook and it generated quite a debate. I ended up losing a friend-couple over it. (Their loss, not mine.)

Yesterday someone I highly respect surprised me with information that I would harshly judge anyone else for--way worse than shopping cart corrals. It made me think about how different all of our experiences and perspectives are, and even some things that I consider very important are viewed differently by others, and that that's ok. The last four years have scrambled my brain. There are many things that are objectively right or wrong, but also a whole lot of gray.

Thanks for posting, Donna (and everyone). Why are we so quick to cringe and internally self-destruct over simple and honest mistakes? I do this all the time, often over next to nothing. (OMG I can't believe I called Donna "Susan" by mistake. What a moron I am.) Tintt names it above. It's actually on the evil side of things to show oneself so little regard and compassion.

I'm not close to that demanding of anyone else.

citizen, modern liberalism and consitutionalism that we enjoy as a right says you are not a slave. God, too, in any expression, does not want you to offer endless peace to others, but for you to love and care for yourself. That's the gift.

It’s all about balance, right? If I take too much care of myself I’ve become a jerk to other people. If I take too much care of everyone else I become Doug from the The Good Place.

The entire structure of competitive society is based on self-interest, where individuals climb over each other in desperate attempts get more. Cooperative societes are based on enlightened self-interest, where people work together to improve everyone's condition. To the detriment of all, the self-interested are running everything.

We're born alone, we'll die alone; our aloneness is the only thing we own.

Congrats on the kiddo doing so much better, shell!

It's important to realize that our mental state may just be 'thoughts' it's more complicated than that. What works for one person to maintain their mental health won't work for another.

Telling someone with clinical depression to change their thinking is like telling a type 1 diabetic to simply tell their body to make insulin.  

Clearly if someone has a condition such as clinical depression the above does not apply.

Evidently I didn't do a good job expressing that mental health and mental state are separate.

I'm not sure but I feel like that may be the exact definition of clinical depression--when you simply can't will yourself into happiness, or whatever the right word is for not-depressed. But for those with good mental health, I agree that we do have the ability to change our mindset, and our mood. That's what I've always done, but it's getting harder to do on my own.

James - your mental health and mental state are so connected that they are the same thing. It seems to me that what your describing is a persons attitude.

Yeah, the definition of depression is when you can't do that.

@Chad, the way I see it: it is true that mental health is connected to mental state, however you may not have any 'serious' mental health issues (e.g. clinical depression) and yet your mental state today may have a pessimistic outlook because of whatever (you didn't get laid, you lost a bet, etc.), in which case you may elect to change your mental state through certain tecniques. That is, if you have the attitude to do that.

Having said that, if your mental health is compromised because of a known condition (clinical depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.) there is no way you can will those issues away, as Wood Guy and tintt said.

Slightly off-topic but, incidentally, does anybody know how to insert a new paragraph into a comment without having to save the comment and then re-edit?

James, no, that's the only way I'm aware of.

html paragraph tag (less than symbol)
(lower case p)(greater than symbol)

The dizziness is worrying, b3ta. You should probably see a doctor if it’s been going on this long. As for the pain your community is going through, of course your anxiety levels would be very, very high right now. But the dizziness is worrying.

I agree with Donna--the strife right now may well be taking a toll on you, but I'm not sure that dizzy spells and dry mouth are typical stress responses.

Well, reading this is a bit disconcerting. Helps put my horrible late summer into more perspective, and cements my need to get the mri and ultrasound next week.

Eight months later and you haven't gotten checked out yet?! Yeah get that MRI!!!

I'm a guy, I don't want to bother people.

Excellent, Donna. And those small good acts, done all over creation and spanning several decades, is a pretty nice definition of "accomplished" in my book.

i burn my candle just like i design, from the inside out

Middle-out combustion! (Silicon Valley show reference)

hold my beer

The correct way is to break the candle in half and burn both ends of both pieces. Com'on now, didn't they teach you anything in architecture school?

don't people know you shouldn't burn candles at all? they're toxic and release benzene and toluene, when burning which are carcinogens...

Burning light bulbs doesn't work as well, though.

Not a good sign ...

I know, right? Must be all that news media making me depressed.

I did yesterday.  Very well done and good POV.  I'm still troubled by how small the door to the shed is.

That 'shed' has a kitchen and bathroom . . .

Did Bo interview Arthur Two Sheds Jackson?

Hang in there Donna.

How is Angus doing, Donna?

Angus is wonderful, Except for having to deal with a terrifyingly perimenopausal and manic mother. I’m taking him to see Ike Reilly tonight, his first time! Ike is finally doing an all-ages show.

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling, Donna. It is certainly ironic that our desire for comfort and convenience is driving the planet toward being uninhabitable. Those of us who try to do better are constantly mocked for our efforts, but what are the alternatives? Go all-in on selfishism and the me-first attitude? I might have mentioned elsewhere that I think a growth market is homes and compounds that will remain habitable while the world continues to devolve. For those wealthy enough to afford it, of course.

i believe you will find "me first" in the constitution...just ask a libertarian/"independent" for the citation

Yup, you are right. This country (the US) is one that has turned into a nation run by oligarchs, for the super wealthy. In Russia they have actual oligarchs, here we have Bezos and Musk. And it seems that the government (Dems, Republicans, Supreme Court, State Governments etc) are just out to protect their own. 

Speaking of gun violence, it angers me so much to see the spineless, unorganized Dems have spent so much time and energy on the Jan 6th insurrection, and on protecting supreme court judges, while just a month ago 19 babies were murdered. While the evil Republicans just run amok all over the place. It is all a big farce, in the name of democracy, and everyone up there is complicit.

Bury yourself in CAD/Rhino/Revit etc and carry on.

I'm sorry, I just remembered that Mental Health Central is supposed to be a politics-free thread. But "carrying on" isn't mentally healthy, either. If ALL I'm doing is carrying on, if there's no joy in life (which I do have a tiny bit of), why bother "carrying on"? This is why assisted suicide laws exist, right?

Those laws are generally of the "you don't get to do it" sort.

Right, I've given up on politics in this country, its all too rotten. Hence for mental health, just carry on.

^^Whatever. ^^

A sociopaths' mental state is filled with self loathing, grievance, and victim hood. A lot of this country's problems are because there is minority rule. 15 states have a total population less than California and they have 30 senators. California has 2. If we were to get rid of the filibuster we could have progressive legislation that would solve a lot of the financial, racial, social. and by extension mental problems of this country. The 2 are inextricably linked.

We can talk about the filibuster all day long, indeed I did all these years. But here's a question - Whats stopping the Dems from, say starting a referendum on the Second Amendment and put in resources like they are doing on the Jan 6th committee? Or, whats stopping Biden from creating an executive order to ban assault weapons? The answer is that the Dems are merely protecting themselves and their positions, so they do not seal their defeat in November (which is imminent). I am ashamed to say I vote for Democrats.

If you don't mind copy paste over to politics central and I will respond.

Im good z1111, I have had plenty of responses from family and friends, but have completely given up. Good luck!

While politics encompasses every aspect of daily life and I agree that it is directly related to mental health, I think it would be best if we kept overtly political references to the Politics forum.

"It’s like I can’t remember what it feels like to accomplish something I’m proud of"--c'mon, there must be something? Or something you could choose to work toward?

I just dont believe in OUR government, to be clear.