Emerging music artist Taylor Swift has been announced as the keynote speaker for the AIA Conference on Architecture & Design 2024. In advance of the event, Archinect has gained exclusive access to a leaked version of Swift’s speech, which is titled ‘A New Architecture Era.’
Swift is expected to begin her speech by taking an adversarial tone with the AIA, questioning if her invitation to deliver the keynote speech was made as a joke. “I don’t like your little games,” she will say. “Don’t like your tilted stage; the role you made me play of the fool.”
In addition to taking aim at the AIA, Swift is also expected to use the speech to offer an atonement for her involvement as an advisor for Saudi Arabia’s NEOM project. “I knew you were trouble when you walked in,” she will say, directly addressing the project organizers. “So, shame on me now. You flew me to places I’d never been, now I’m lyin’ on the cold hard ground.”
Turning to her vision for the future of the built environment, Swift will dwell on the simple solutions available to architects to improve urban streets, including installing furniture such as benches and seating areas for citizens to enjoy. “Walking the streets with you in your worn-out jeans, I can’t help thinking this is how it ought to be,” Swift’s speech reads. “Laughing on a park bench thinking to myself: Hey, isn’t this easy?”
Having recently downsized her fleet of private jets from two to one, Swift is expected to encourage the audience to practice environmental responsibility in their own work. Emphasizing the need for buildings to be designed with longevity and resilience in mind, Swift will say: “It’s gonna be forever, Or it’s gonna go down in flames.” In a message to those skeptical of investing in resilient design, Swift goes on to say: “You can tell me when it’s over, mm, If the high was worth the pain.”
Swift is expected to close the speech by offering future services as a design consultant. “I could show you incredible things,” Swift will say about her design ability. “Magic, madness, heaven, sin.” Seeking to dismiss negative feedback from previous clients, she will continue: “Got a long list of ex-lovers. They’ll tell you I’m insane,” before suggesting that interested design teams reach out to schedule an initial consultation. “I’ve got a blank space, baby,” the speech concludes. “And I’ll write your name.”
The speech in full can be read here.
14 Comments
Rumour has it she will publicly purchase Kanye's Ando home in california during the speech as the ultimate revenge?
Only if he lets her finish it
Architect playing with fire here... getting the swifty fans angry as they descend on aia conference only to be left with disapointed faces.
"Emerging music artist Taylor Swift"
Good for her. Hope she makes it big some day.
The sad part is I that I actually believed it before realizing the date...
I believed for a millisecond then remember the time that IKEA sponsored The Vessel at Hudson Yards and realized. Ope.
Well done, Archinect! If I knew any TS lyrics I'd quote them back at you.
I wonder why they cancelled Donald Trump for her?
Now that I dropped a ton of $$$$ on company stock that makes swift boats, where do I sign up for tickets to the lecture?
April Fools!
my “why I don’t like Barbie” blog is just getting longer and longer....
Love this. See you at the conference.
+++++
Re Taylor Swift speaking at that Architect’s Conference — I checked out her song titles and came to realize how relevant she could be:
Shake It Off - regarding earthquake structural design.
Don’t Blame Me - regarding Architect’s liability insurance
Blank Space - for the minimalist in all Architects.
I Knew You Were Trouble - on how to screen potentially difficult clients
Wildest Dreams - for Frank Gehry enthusiasts
Daylight - Sponsored by Velux Roof Windows
Is It Over Now - For GCs with liquidated damages contracts
Look What You Made Me Do - for those of us frustrated with our Clients' design acumen, or lack thereof.
Style - ’nuff said…
I mean - she’s a sure HIT !!!
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