Q: How do you define optimism?
A: A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.
Q: What's the difference between an banker and a large pizza?
A: The pizza can still feed a family of four.
As a surprise, a chief exec's wife pops by his office. She finds him in an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitation, he starts dictating: '. . . and in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.'
Q: Why have real estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
A: Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.
Q: What do you call five hedge fund managers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.
Q: What's the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon?
A: The pigeon is still capable of putting down a deposit on a new Ferrari.
The credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet. The car's been repossessed.
Q: What do you say to a hedge fund manager who can't sell anything?
A: Quarter-pounder with fries, please.
Overheard in a NYC bar: 'This credit crunch is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.'
The bank returned a check to me this morning, stamped: 'insufficient funds.' Is it them or me?
A director decided to award a prize of $100 for the best idea of saving the company money during the credit crunch. It was won by a young executive who suggested reducing the prize money to $50.
Q: What's the capital of Iceland?
A: About $3.50.
A man went to his bank manager and said: 'I'd like to start a small business. How do I go about it?' 'Simple,' said the bank manager. 'Buy a big one and wait.'
Money talks. Trouble is, mine knows only one word: 'Goodbye.'
A young man asked an elderly rich man how he made his money. 'Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last penny, so I invested that penny in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold that apple for ten pennies. 'The next morning I bought two apples, spent the day polishing them and sold them for 20 pennies. I continued this for a month, by which time I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37. 'Then my wife's father died and left us $2 million.'
Q: What have an Icelandic bank and an Icelandic streaker got in common?
A: They both have frozen assets.
and that steve martin joke is just dumb...nobody in united states is taxed for having a million dollars any more than they are taxed for having $10. there are income taxes, estate taxes, sales taxes, etc but there is still no tax on net worth
i remember, there was a segment in mad or cracked magazine from early 90's on the differences between a recession and a depression. the cartoons were accompanied by captions that went something like, "if you don't eat out as often as you used to it's a recession. if you find yourself eating out more often, only it's out of dumpsters, it's a depression."
even bankers or hedge fund manager are out of work, their bank account can still feed an architect+his whole family for decades... not to mention that they know how to use money to make money even in a recession.
Financial Crisis Jokes
We need a few laughs ...
Q: How do you define optimism?
A: A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.
Q: What's the difference between an banker and a large pizza?
A: The pizza can still feed a family of four.
As a surprise, a chief exec's wife pops by his office. She finds him in an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitation, he starts dictating: '. . . and in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.'
Q: Why have real estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
A: Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.
Q: What do you call five hedge fund managers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.
Q: What's the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon?
A: The pigeon is still capable of putting down a deposit on a new Ferrari.
The credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet. The car's been repossessed.
Q: What do you say to a hedge fund manager who can't sell anything?
A: Quarter-pounder with fries, please.
Overheard in a NYC bar: 'This credit crunch is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.'
The bank returned a check to me this morning, stamped: 'insufficient funds.' Is it them or me?
A director decided to award a prize of $100 for the best idea of saving the company money during the credit crunch. It was won by a young executive who suggested reducing the prize money to $50.
Q: What's the capital of Iceland?
A: About $3.50.
A man went to his bank manager and said: 'I'd like to start a small business. How do I go about it?' 'Simple,' said the bank manager. 'Buy a big one and wait.'
Money talks. Trouble is, mine knows only one word: 'Goodbye.'
A young man asked an elderly rich man how he made his money. 'Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last penny, so I invested that penny in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold that apple for ten pennies. 'The next morning I bought two apples, spent the day polishing them and sold them for 20 pennies. I continued this for a month, by which time I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37. 'Then my wife's father died and left us $2 million.'
Q: What have an Icelandic bank and an Icelandic streaker got in common?
A: They both have frozen assets.
good stuff quiz
That next to last one reminds me of the Steve Martin routine about "How to become a millionaire and not pay taxes"
First...you get a million dollars...
....then you put it in the bank...
... and when they come to you for the taxes, you can use the defense so many people don't think about. You can just say, I forgot!
(not really a crisis joke, but funny)
a reporter recently asked Bush about his thoughts on the credit crunch. "credit crunch is ok, but I really like coco puffs."
what's with the cheap shots at bankers & hedge fund managers? you people need to get a life
and that steve martin joke is just dumb...nobody in united states is taxed for having a million dollars any more than they are taxed for having $10. there are income taxes, estate taxes, sales taxes, etc but there is still no tax on net worth
jeez puddles ... lighten up ... get a sense of humor !
ha ha ha, nice quiz.
i remember, there was a segment in mad or cracked magazine from early 90's on the differences between a recession and a depression. the cartoons were accompanied by captions that went something like, "if you don't eat out as often as you used to it's a recession. if you find yourself eating out more often, only it's out of dumpsters, it's a depression."
wow, defending bankers and hedge fund managers AND skewering a Steve Martin joke...someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning...
and, btw, the punch line there is at the beginning "First...you get a million dollars..."
even bankers or hedge fund manager are out of work, their bank account can still feed an architect+his whole family for decades... not to mention that they know how to use money to make money even in a recession.
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