So it looks like Robert Stern got the gig. As a public service I say that we help Mr. Stern program the Library for this President and his legacy or, if you prefer, this legacy.
So I call for architectural and landscape speculations for this library, bonus points if you include sketches. Maybe it can be something like a Cadavre Exquis. After a while, if we feel like it, we can put it together in drawings, perspectives, etc...
I think a room should be dedicated to his administration's lies. It should be called (wait for it, wait for it)...The Fib Room. It should be built out of a transparent material (perhaps Pilkington Profilit glass?). The transparency is obviously metaphorical for his predictable statements that continue to perpetuate his ignorance.
the fib room should probably be one-way mirrored glass: you can see out but noone can see in. everybody sees what's going on outside (maybe a good metaphoric program for this room surrounding the fib room would be 'wreckage'), but only those on the inside can see what's going on in there.
does the fib room need a red hotline phone so it can be connected to corporate boardrooms?
It should say Mission Accomplished on the construction sign
I think the Mechanical Rooms should come equipped with a Doomsday Device. We could call it the Karl Rove Room.
Yeah, A Dick room made of ice is appropriate. Though it should be outdoors in full sunlight so that thousands of barrels of oil are used to keep the thing from melting.
I think there should be a lake on the garden. This lake will flood part of the library and garden once or twice a day. All tourists will be then trapped in a dome-like pavilion under armed guard in the dome and the few bridges out. The part of the library that is flooded is under constant never-ending re-construction.
What about a Freedom Fighter Room? It could be a giant laser tag course to simulate war.
Obviously, the teams will be divided as the Freedom Fighters vs. Anybody-Who-Looks-Like-A-Middle-Easterner.
A life-size, camo-wearin' Bush figure will occasionally drop from the ceiling and say in his sweet Texas accent, "'Em boys are terrorists and are all part of Al-Queada."
postal: the mission accomplished sign will go up when the foundation is poured.
People who earn in the top 1% will be paid to go in, the middle class will pay $1500 and the lower class, gays, women and brown people won't be let in.
don't forget the largest room - the vacation room - complete w/ pre-trimmed desert foliage, to memorialize how bush spent 20% of his probably illegitimate presidency.
the mirrors in the Bush Library bathrooms should have " repeat after me: Win the War on Terrorism. Beat the Terrorists. War in Iraq = Good. Terrorism = Bad."
it's probably what bush has written in lipstick on his mirror at home....
his special stewart smiley affirmations mirror.....
stern likes symmetry so this one may be a problem. there should be a 'fer us' wing and an 'agin us' wing. obviously they won't be the same size or offer the same accommodation.
when you come into the (probably small?) 'fer us' wing, you'll be given a cigar and the keys to a hummer.
when you come into the (much larger) 'agin us' wing, you'll be issued an orange jumpsuit and a bug will be attached to you.
come to think of it, maybe the architect can suggest that they ARE the same size, the 'fer us' wing just offering much more space per capita than the 'agin us' wing. that way the symmetry problem can be resolved.
The design needs to be way more American. The back yard should be a sprawling hundred acre ranch, but with no natural foliage. Instead, it can be covered with AstroTurf (all colored red, white and blue) and all of the trees are those tube-light palm trees people put on their decks in Florida. The ranch should be populated by thousands of bald eagles and Clydesdale horses (maybe even a few unicorns). The stables for the animals could be made sustainable by constructing them from recycled Ford Trucks, oil, and Big Macs. They should be designed with one large unobstructed facade so Rambo can be projected on it in a continuous loop. Also, everyday at 5pm, a timer hooked to a complex system of irrigation pipes allows it to rain Dunkin Donuts iced coffee.
and muzak throughout the library looping dennis leary's song:
Folks, Id like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me, about you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles,
Maybe in the sub cockle area,
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys,
Maybe even in the colon, we dont know
Im just a regular Joe, with a regular job
Im your average white, suburbanized slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just aint enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at someone elses expense
(woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane
Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time saying "how about this heat?"
Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces
Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes a real fucking asshole)
Maybe I shouldnt be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe theyre right when they tell me Im wrong...
Nah
Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)
You know what Im gonna do
Im gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for head lights (yeah)
And Im gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin' 1 mile per gallon,
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when Im done sucking down those greeseball burgers
Im gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then Im gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there aint a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because weve got the bombs, thats why
2 words, nuclear fucking weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square
and it wont make a lick of difference
Because weve got the bombs, OK?
John Wayne's not dead, hes frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer
Were gonna thaw out the duke and hes gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why,
Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 15 million times
Thats how pissed off the dukes gonna be!
I'm gonna get the Duke, and John Cassavetes,
and Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey,
and drive down to Texas and say.....
(Hey! You know, you really are an asshole!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
Im an asshole (hes an asshole.what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)
I would really love a display of "Bush-isms". If nobody else has noticed these (though I'm sure some have), they are various quotes by Bush that are supposed to hilight "the accidental wit and wisdom" of our president.
I'm really feeling phuyaka's charicature of Texas life, but maybe something more subtle is in order?
I think this will be extremely easy to program. It will consist of a lobby, with x-ray machines, metal detectors, and at least 5 other ways to check visitors (including private rooms for, ahem, "cavity searches"); then there will be a very large cafe; and finally, visitors will be allowed to file past a locked door, behind which will be 90% of the building and everything that the administration ever did.
I think the nurse's station would be a popular spot ... you'd get to see all the benched players from the Cabinet team go get their pinkies all mended up because those pesky Congress members play too tough. Then they go to a room where they'll never be seen again, and no one can ask them tough questions like if they've used steroids, or cheated on an exam so they could stay on the basketball team.
I am leaving to Colombia tomorrow for a couple of weeks and will not have time to do it, but if anyone feels like making some collages/drawings of all this craziness it would be awesome.
I hope Stern realizes he must include the Twins Bar.....serving Absolute! Were visitors can get a reality check on life as they wonder
around the empty library. With questions like where are the books....
then realizing their all on dvds.....
Um.....OK. I've never seen that picture of the, ahem, twins before, and I've never thought too much of them, but is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking?
Perhaps the library should include an exhibit entitled "The Bush Twins' Guide to Dressing in Public"....
how did he manage to produce one girl that looks like himself in a wig, and another that looks like Kate Beckinsdale?
Maybe that should be "The Bush Twins' Guide to Dressing and Behaving in Public"? It would have to include a section on proper bar ettiquette for under-21's, obviously.
I would think one of the most important things which happened in the last eight years, in regards to country, is how the Vice President,
Mr. Dick shot a man and never even made it to a court room, cause it was called an accident. So I think they should save plenty of room for his shot gun collection:
ok, seriously, isn't having a library named after you an honor, which should be in response to something you have accomplished that is admirable? name one thing GWB has done that fits this description.
after all of this, which would you feel more "ethically responsible" designing:
(1) a house for GWB, which just lets say is the best commission your firm has ever had, and, for example, he has very avant garde tastes;
(2) or a library that comemmorate's his tenure? come on, this isn't going to be some exhibit criticizing the admin. It is a project that honors his "legacy".
There should be a Dick Cheny Hunting Salon. This would be a large room, maybe 200,000 sf spread out on a single floor, with 30 ft ceilings, all glass on all sides (even the floor) and air conditioned. This would also house the justice department and they would all be required to wear targets.
There should also be a room for the individuals who help Bush come up with answers to unanticipated questions from the press. This should be called the "1000 Monkeys Typing Randomly Room" and it should be air conditioned.
They should hire an artist to create an installation on the lawn that speaks about the administration's commitment to keeping illegal aliens out. It should be a corrugated metal wall that is 10 feet wide and 100 feet tall and it should be air conditioned. It should be called "Monument to the Mexican Laborer."
I think my firm, Hercules|Schwarzenegger should be consulted in this design. We specialize in patriotic "Freedom" architecture. We guide our clients through the complexities of building luxurious features such as rammed Bald-Eagle walls, stretched whale skin canopies, and air-conditioned outdoor hunting and golfing facilities. Building in the traditional and patriotic "American" fashion can be difficult when the hippies won't get out of the redwoods that are in the way of creating a dream Library. Let us help. Our "associates" can make all your "problems" with development go away. We are a drug free workplace (drugs are bad and users should be brutaly exterminated) but we are not an equal opportunity employer because sometimes yur born with it, sometimes you ain't.
Programming the George W Bush Library
So it looks like Robert Stern got the gig. As a public service I say that we help Mr. Stern program the Library for this President and his legacy or, if you prefer, this legacy.
So I call for architectural and landscape speculations for this library, bonus points if you include sketches. Maybe it can be something like a Cadavre Exquis. After a while, if we feel like it, we can put it together in drawings, perspectives, etc...
don't forget to include the "my pet goat" reading room
I think a room should be dedicated to his administration's lies. It should be called (wait for it, wait for it)...The Fib Room. It should be built out of a transparent material (perhaps Pilkington Profilit glass?). The transparency is obviously metaphorical for his predictable statements that continue to perpetuate his ignorance.
PS. I think I'm going to love this thread.
the fib room should probably be one-way mirrored glass: you can see out but noone can see in. everybody sees what's going on outside (maybe a good metaphoric program for this room surrounding the fib room would be 'wreckage'), but only those on the inside can see what's going on in there.
does the fib room need a red hotline phone so it can be connected to corporate boardrooms?
I just laughed out loud. It was one of those good from-the-belly chuckles. Thanks, Steven.
Yes, it should have a red hotline phone. Halliburton should be on speed dial.
I want a Dick (Cheney) Room too. It should be made of ice, much like his soul.
It should say Mission Accomplished on the construction sign
I think the Mechanical Rooms should come equipped with a Doomsday Device. We could call it the Karl Rove Room.
Yeah, A Dick room made of ice is appropriate. Though it should be outdoors in full sunlight so that thousands of barrels of oil are used to keep the thing from melting.
don't forget the torture chamber...
I think there should be a lake on the garden. This lake will flood part of the library and garden once or twice a day. All tourists will be then trapped in a dome-like pavilion under armed guard in the dome and the few bridges out. The part of the library that is flooded is under constant never-ending re-construction.
What about a Freedom Fighter Room? It could be a giant laser tag course to simulate war.
Obviously, the teams will be divided as the Freedom Fighters vs. Anybody-Who-Looks-Like-A-Middle-Easterner.
A life-size, camo-wearin' Bush figure will occasionally drop from the ceiling and say in his sweet Texas accent, "'Em boys are terrorists and are all part of Al-Queada."
Will they be serving freedom fries?
postal: the mission accomplished sign will go up when the foundation is poured.
People who earn in the top 1% will be paid to go in, the middle class will pay $1500 and the lower class, gays, women and brown people won't be let in.
who were the other finalists, the architects?
I think Stern is the perfect architect for this.
Shelf Space: 1lin. foot (for the Bible & a well worn, half read copy of Curious George)
LOL re: mission accomplished, THEaquino!
Didn't DCA previously say (on another thread) that it should be a toilet with a collection of comic books? That seems appropriate to me.
don't forget the largest room - the vacation room - complete w/ pre-trimmed desert foliage, to memorialize how bush spent 20% of his probably illegitimate presidency.
the mirrors in the Bush Library bathrooms should have " repeat after me: Win the War on Terrorism. Beat the Terrorists. War in Iraq = Good. Terrorism = Bad."
it's probably what bush has written in lipstick on his mirror at home....
his special stewart smiley affirmations mirror.....
kill the malaysian prime minister!
obey my dog!
stern likes symmetry so this one may be a problem. there should be a 'fer us' wing and an 'agin us' wing. obviously they won't be the same size or offer the same accommodation.
when you come into the (probably small?) 'fer us' wing, you'll be given a cigar and the keys to a hummer.
when you come into the (much larger) 'agin us' wing, you'll be issued an orange jumpsuit and a bug will be attached to you.
come to think of it, maybe the architect can suggest that they ARE the same size, the 'fer us' wing just offering much more space per capita than the 'agin us' wing. that way the symmetry problem can be resolved.
The design needs to be way more American. The back yard should be a sprawling hundred acre ranch, but with no natural foliage. Instead, it can be covered with AstroTurf (all colored red, white and blue) and all of the trees are those tube-light palm trees people put on their decks in Florida. The ranch should be populated by thousands of bald eagles and Clydesdale horses (maybe even a few unicorns). The stables for the animals could be made sustainable by constructing them from recycled Ford Trucks, oil, and Big Macs. They should be designed with one large unobstructed facade so Rambo can be projected on it in a continuous loop. Also, everyday at 5pm, a timer hooked to a complex system of irrigation pipes allows it to rain Dunkin Donuts iced coffee.
steven...leave cigars out of this!!!
i think there should be exit signs above doorways that open to brick walls.
and muzak throughout the library looping dennis leary's song:
Folks, Id like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me, about you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles,
Maybe in the sub cockle area,
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys,
Maybe even in the colon, we dont know
Im just a regular Joe, with a regular job
Im your average white, suburbanized slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just aint enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at someone elses expense
(woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane
Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time saying "how about this heat?"
Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces
Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes a real fucking asshole)
Maybe I shouldnt be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe theyre right when they tell me Im wrong...
Nah
Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)
You know what Im gonna do
Im gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for head lights (yeah)
And Im gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin' 1 mile per gallon,
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when Im done sucking down those greeseball burgers
Im gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then Im gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there aint a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because weve got the bombs, thats why
2 words, nuclear fucking weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square
and it wont make a lick of difference
Because weve got the bombs, OK?
John Wayne's not dead, hes frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer
Were gonna thaw out the duke and hes gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why,
Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 15 million times
Thats how pissed off the dukes gonna be!
I'm gonna get the Duke, and John Cassavetes,
and Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey,
and drive down to Texas and say.....
(Hey! You know, you really are an asshole!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
Im an asshole (hes an asshole.what an asshole)
Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
Everybody
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
Im an asshole and Im proud of it
I would really love a display of "Bush-isms". If nobody else has noticed these (though I'm sure some have), they are various quotes by Bush that are supposed to hilight "the accidental wit and wisdom" of our president.
I'm really feeling phuyaka's charicature of Texas life, but maybe something more subtle is in order?
bush doesn't know how to read. shit, he can't even speak.
east, how would one architecturalize (my made up word of the day) something like that.
a shit load of picture books
I think this will be extremely easy to program. It will consist of a lobby, with x-ray machines, metal detectors, and at least 5 other ways to check visitors (including private rooms for, ahem, "cavity searches"); then there will be a very large cafe; and finally, visitors will be allowed to file past a locked door, behind which will be 90% of the building and everything that the administration ever did.
n_, i love the freedom fighter room, 'cept i think it should be an exact replica of the american gladiators assault set!
They need to make it look like its in Texas, but its really in Conneticut. Maybe you have to clear some brush to get in.
Also, an exhibit of Cheney's Man-safes might be nice.
Steven, don't get Stern any idea's - especially one that's so damned accurate for this administration.
"maybe even a few unicorns"... hahahaha
el jeffe, i love that song... haven't heard it in a while...
i like rationalist's suggestion of a bushisms display... maybe jenny holzer can do something for that...
Maybe we should have a Guantanamo Room?
It will hold unsuspecting visitors for an unknown amount of time.
instead of admission, will it be extraordinary rendition?
I think the nurse's station would be a popular spot ... you'd get to see all the benched players from the Cabinet team go get their pinkies all mended up because those pesky Congress members play too tough. Then they go to a room where they'll never be seen again, and no one can ask them tough questions like if they've used steroids, or cheated on an exam so they could stay on the basketball team.
What about the Merkin Room?
I am leaving to Colombia tomorrow for a couple of weeks and will not have time to do it, but if anyone feels like making some collages/drawings of all this craziness it would be awesome.
i just think it should resemble abu gharib, complete with closeted GOP senators sodomizing each other.
or an airport security check-in, oh and el, you made my day with the Leary.
I hope Stern realizes he must include the Twins Bar.....serving Absolute! Were visitors can get a reality check on life as they wonder
around the empty library. With questions like where are the books....
then realizing their all on dvds.....
Um.....OK. I've never seen that picture of the, ahem, twins before, and I've never thought too much of them, but is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking?
Perhaps the library should include an exhibit entitled "The Bush Twins' Guide to Dressing in Public"....
yikes... looks like the HVAC guys need to ensure that there's sufficient heat in the twins' rooms..
Precedent?
NIIIIIIPPLES!!!!
I'd date the one on the right. The one on the left looks like her old man.
how did he manage to produce one girl that looks like himself in a wig, and another that looks like Kate Beckinsdale?
Maybe that should be "The Bush Twins' Guide to Dressing and Behaving in Public"? It would have to include a section on proper bar ettiquette for under-21's, obviously.
i think bar etiquette for underage drinkers should be taught in high-school to prevent the embarrassment that is college drinking.
nope, it's not.
touche
I would think one of the most important things which happened in the last eight years, in regards to country, is how the Vice President,
Mr. Dick shot a man and never even made it to a court room, cause it was called an accident. So I think they should save plenty of room for his shot gun collection:
ok, seriously, isn't having a library named after you an honor, which should be in response to something you have accomplished that is admirable? name one thing GWB has done that fits this description.
after all of this, which would you feel more "ethically responsible" designing:
(1) a house for GWB, which just lets say is the best commission your firm has ever had, and, for example, he has very avant garde tastes;
(2) or a library that comemmorate's his tenure? come on, this isn't going to be some exhibit criticizing the admin. It is a project that honors his "legacy".
I can't see #2 as a viable answer.
There should be a Dick Cheny Hunting Salon. This would be a large room, maybe 200,000 sf spread out on a single floor, with 30 ft ceilings, all glass on all sides (even the floor) and air conditioned. This would also house the justice department and they would all be required to wear targets.
There should also be a room for the individuals who help Bush come up with answers to unanticipated questions from the press. This should be called the "1000 Monkeys Typing Randomly Room" and it should be air conditioned.
They should hire an artist to create an installation on the lawn that speaks about the administration's commitment to keeping illegal aliens out. It should be a corrugated metal wall that is 10 feet wide and 100 feet tall and it should be air conditioned. It should be called "Monument to the Mexican Laborer."
I think my firm, Hercules|Schwarzenegger should be consulted in this design. We specialize in patriotic "Freedom" architecture. We guide our clients through the complexities of building luxurious features such as rammed Bald-Eagle walls, stretched whale skin canopies, and air-conditioned outdoor hunting and golfing facilities. Building in the traditional and patriotic "American" fashion can be difficult when the hippies won't get out of the redwoods that are in the way of creating a dream Library. Let us help. Our "associates" can make all your "problems" with development go away. We are a drug free workplace (drugs are bad and users should be brutaly exterminated) but we are not an equal opportunity employer because sometimes yur born with it, sometimes you ain't.
Block this user
Are you sure you want to block this user and hide all related comments throughout the site?
Archinect
This is your first comment on Archinect. Your comment will be visible once approved.