Hello all. I'm having trouble figuring out what path my life should take and I need some advice.
I'm 32, never married and childless, and I am considering a major career change. I would like to study architecture, as it has been a great love of mine since I was a child-but I would also someday like to become a wife and stay at home mother. I have been hesitating on returning to school for several reasons, the biggest one being money-I hardly have enough cash to pay rent each month, not to mention, I won't be able to afford tuition and books. The nearest architectural school is 3 hours away in a city I don't care to live in, and the only other option would be to live with my sister in Detroit, who is married and has her own family already, and attend school there.
As much as I love architecture and designing buildings, I am afraid that if throw myself headlong into a new career, I might miss out on the chance to have a family.
There is, of course, no guarantee I will be a success in architecture, or for that matter, I will even like it-I'm not sure I have the right temperment for it, and I am sorely lacking in mathematical aptitude-but I think I would do well in design and rendering. However, there's much more to architecture than just pretty drawings of pretty buildings, and for me it's kind of an all or nothing thing.
Likewise, I don't want to be 60 years old and still wasting my time waiting for someone to build a family with (pun intended), when I could've used all that time to design a decent career.
The job I have now is merely that-low end graphic design job with poor benefits and no recognition-if I died at my desk nobody would notice-
and it barely gets my bills paid.
Sorry this post was so long and depressing-I am at my wit's end, and I need to do something...I can't take this anymore.
assuming that you've got a b.a. already in somehting, then a march. is gonna take you at least 3.5 years which makes ya 36 upon graduating. best case get registered in three years after that which makes ya 40. so best case you'll be 40 by the earliest time you can become an architect. i assume you are going to marry a rich guy so you can do the stay at home mom thing? everyone in this field that i know is married has kids or is gay with a partner. i am the only lone wolf out there. its a lonely lonely place. if you are not a wolf that is.
seriously though- you can't just go out and 'build' a family, it kinda just has to happen (or not). You do have much more control over what you do to fill your days and make your money, so if it's what you want to and have to do to be you then do it, nobody is going to marry you for who you may have wanted to be.
Find a way to make it work, cause worrying about the $$$ will always be there, so you might as well do what you want to...
vado, i don't think i'm married either...guess you're not the only one.
870, why not try? there'll be plenty of opportunity for architecture to reject you, or—to be more polite—steer you in a different direction. the worst that could happen is you won't become an architect...and you're already not an architect. nothing lost.
go with your passion ... if you want to be an architect, figure out a practical way to be one. being an architect does not preclude having a family, although it does create some challenges along those lines.
however, don't necessarily expect architecture to be a great deal different from "The job [you] have now [that's] merely a low-end graphic design job with poor benefits and no recognition-if [you] died at [your] desk nobody would notice-and it barely gets [your] bills paid."
nevertheless, if you're going to be poor, you might as well be poor doing something you love. hell, that's why the rest of us here hang around this maddening profession, right ?
870- make like Nike and just do it. also, i don't understand why where you can study is so limited- 3 hours away or Detroit? what's holding you to only those choices? A huge majority of us can't "afford" to go to school, but we make it happen. Don't short your options- you might get a scholarship...
it seems to me that you have very limited knowledge about architecture or what architects do except that it has been your dream. i would suggest talking to an architect or browse some topics on this site till you get an understanding. its important to know what you'll be involved with before stepping in the profession.
Also, there is a chance that once you do have kids, you can draft/render/design from home for an actual firm. We contract some things out to Jennifer, whoever she is, and I am going to ask my firm to allow me to do something similar once I have my kid in February. Crossing my fingers. So go for the architecture thing. School WILL be harder to do once you have kids, or get 15 years older. Those all nighters in studio can't be easy on a Mom, or a 47 year old.
I would agree that you may want to open your eyes a little more, there are several places to study architecture around the US as well as in other countries. A little research can reveal so much, including grants and scholarships to assist your endeavour.
Also, you might already have what it takes, but are unaware of those useful talents...its not all math. Many schools of architecture take the position that you enter as a defined blank slate and build you up from there...ie. what you don't know they'll teach you.
But on another note, I'm like vado a lone wolf. I'm likely to be dead on the praire (pun intended) without a soul knowing. Families are great, but from the tone in your post it seems that your urge to be an architect is far stronger...imo you should follow the strongest calling, and the other is likely to follow suit.
There are some great moms on archinect, and their contributions are likely to be the wisdom you need.
Seems like there are a lot of single men available for you here. Maybe you could be a stay at home mom with an Architect husband who lets you colaborate on jobs with him. Only one liscense in needed to build something. What do you say Vado, Techno, Puddles?
Everything everyone has said so far is great advice!.
Yes....architecture takes up alot of your time.....and you should understand how much before you decide to go into it.
but!...if you love it....then its extremely gratifying. (and well worth the time and effort.)
-as for the family and kids..... i guess it depends.
Do you have a partner right now? are you both prepared to have kida right now or in the near future?
If you don't.....then why not become an architect in the mean time while you're waiting to find your other half?
who knows maybe they'll be an architect too.....and know what the life style is like.
i understand ur being torn about the family thing. (being a female myself, and wanting to have kids some day).
But.....tons of couples (that are architect(s)) make it work.
So...i'm sure you can!
870...currently, don't like your job, or your career?
my suggestion: before you make a decision, visit a local architectural firm///i don't mean to be discouraging, but a realistic view of the profession is important...and regardless of whether you not you choose architecture, you can still raise a family...so don't let that hold you back...
fyi, the detroit area has 3 arch. schools (University of Detroit-Mercy, Lawrence Tech University and University of Michigan - in Ann Arbor) for you to consider.
my wife is an "architect"...so it's not a problem for us to spend 90% of our vacation visiting and photographing buildings...and she understands perfectly when i have to work late or when i am just too stressed or angry to talk when i get home...
but don't just study architecture. work in a firm. school is all about dreaming up inventive designs, but practice can be much more of a grind.
also, keep in mind that it takes a long time to make it in architecture. even after a couple of years of school, it'll take you six or seven years of practice just to figure out how to put a simple building together and get it built -- never mind a large building or owning your own practice.
lots of people, including me, love architecture in the abstract, but are really frustrated with the profession. but if I were 23 again, i honestly don't think i'd go into this field, knowing what i know now.
farwests comment made me wonder...if you have to ask if it's worth it...is it worth it? I mean, I have sacrificed a lot and taken many risks to follow this dream. I'm ok w/ it because I know I don't want to do anything else on earth, but my friends and family think I'm nuts.
I am also not interested in having a family in anywhere near future, so that makes my decision a little easier...
I tend to be an all or nothing kinda gal, so that might cloud my perspective. What do you guys think...does design/architecture have to be your everything?
Work or Family is just not a choice. I am getting really tired of my female contemporaries thinking the only possible way is to choose one in order to do it well. Some women only truly want one of them, so it makes it easier to pursue a path. I want both and I'm not going to tolerate another person telling me I can't.
If you decide to pursue architecure, your heart will have to be dedicated in order to survive. only you can answer that commitment for yourself. Sounds like you need to realistically check your priorities. If what you really want is to fall in love, have children, and devote yourself full-time to your family, then why bother entering into a multi-year commitment that you would bail on if mr. perfect came around?
I know it sounds crazy, but both IS possible. It just will probably look like nothing you expected. If you want to make it happen, you'll find a way. the timing of it for you had made it somewhat complex, but what choice do you have now? follow your dreams and know you tried and the rest will work itself out, just don't sit still and later on regret not acting when you had a chance.
I think it was Old Fogey who said, "Have the courage to chart your own path"
i was chatting with a friend recently and we were both surprised by how many gsd graduates we know who are now happily married stay-at-home moms...although i'd imagine that most of them will eventually pick up working again. sounds good to me. go figure.
Time to address some of your comments...forgive me if I miss someone...it's not because you're not special :)
Someone mentioned I had a limited knowledge of architecture-unfortunately, I'm afraid that's true, and that's why I've joined Archinect and have been trying to read up on it and ask questions.
The last time I actually had a meaningful conversation with an architect was when I was in high school-I made friends with a man who was an architectural designer at one of the city's well-known firms, but he left the firm some time ago and I haven't been able to find him. I had a lot more guts when I was 16-I was visiting this office constantly, asking questions and looking around...I know they were probably sick of me...but I just feel self conscious about it now.
Needless to say, I forgot everything I learned. >:(
I actually wrote a letter to Richard Meier last year complimenting him on his work and he responded, but I didn't pester him with a lot of questions about his job-I figured he was probably too busy to entertain a bunch of questions from some girl who thought she wanted to be an architect!
Someone asked me why I only had two locations in mind when it came to school...
1. There are no architectural schools in Nashville-the nearest one is Knoxville, and I don't want to live there, not to mention, paying for housing would be a problem-
2. I have family in Detroit-and they would let me live with them, so housing wouldn't be an issue-and I actually sort of like it there.
3. I just can't afford to pull up and move somewhere by myself-not to mention, I don't drive.
I need to know all the good and the bad-I know I've read many posts about folks being totally disillusioned with the profession and wondering why the heck they stayed in it so long, while others love it dearly and wouldn't give it up for the world. I tend to be more pessimistic about things, so I wonder if I could handle working in an architectural office or would it break me?
I shouldn't have said anything- I knew I would get that response. I sort of feel like people look down on me because I should be more interested in a husband & kids at my age (26)- like there is something wrong with me wanting a career first. When a guy is focused on his career at this age, and isn't looking for any other commitments, I feel like it's applauded.
I guess I meant that if you have to ask if it's worth it...then is it worth it? No matter your level of commitment to other things, most people seem to have to sacrifice (at least while going through school).
If it is just fear of _____ (the unknown, money, time, etc) holding you back, but architecture is in your heart, then do it because life has a way of working itself out. i really don't think you should limit yourself to those two choices. With scholarships, a school across the country was cheaper for me to attend that the one 20 minutes away....meaning, apply to the best programs to suit you and see what happens.
I like what puddles said..."the worst that could happen is you won't become an architect...and you're already not an architect. nothing lost."
WhatToDo :
i totally feel you on the "should " of being a female and the typical responses from poeple about kids and a husband.
i am 26 as well. and not that i'll never want a family....its just not stopping me from continuing in my career.
And i have definitly gotten the strange looks from people when they hear that i am not really concerned as to whether i'll get married or not.
And i absolutely agreee on the "if you have to ask if it's worth it...then is it worth it?" regarding 870's dilema.
Like yourself...for me...it has never been a question of "am i going to go to school and get a great job in the field...etc."
its just happening...and if the family comes along....then i'll deal with it.
Anyway...just wanted to let you kow.... i hear where your coming from
870- i love detroit as much as anybody (and it's good to hear that you are also fond of it)...however, i'll warn you that it is a tough place/environment to live these days let alone become an architect. on the other hand, if you can get started with school (and possibly first job) there then it should make other places feel relatively easy. if that is your best option then i'd really encourage you to go for it.
and while you are at it, i also suggest running in the detroit marathon as well. it's a really great experience.
Heads up on Manuel: his pay is shit. Beyond shit. He pays his interns based on a project's profits. That may work except he loves bargaining his design fees for a lifetime of free food/alcohol at the future restaurant/bar. But, he is an interesting guy nonetheless and is doing great things for the design scene in this town.
go for it 870: I'm 24, not through grad school yet, and want a family one day too: if you do have children one day you'll have no regrets during the 15 years they can't conversate - People at my firm take their kids to jobsites [under very strict supervision and adorable hard hats of course] and kids love that stuff - I think you can only be a better parent or spouse if you are your best self: It's 2007 and we can still have it all.
I just love it when Fogey joins the conversation. There is a such a level ofo insight and knowledge in everything he says. In an instant 870 has been opened up to easily half a dozen real employment and scholastic opportunities
Old friend great to see that you are still lurking around
Thanks everybody-I never thought this post would generate so much interest!
Thank you OldFogey for your suggestions-I think it would be a great idea to get my foot in the door at a firm as a graphic designer so I could see what goes every day in an architect's office before I make a big commitment to school.
follow your dreams and know you tried and the rest will work itself out
- thus spoke small potatoes.
Yeah - smallpotatoes hit it right on here.
Do what you love, in all aspects of life, and the details will work themselves out. This DOES NOT mean that you will not be broke and questioning your decisions for the rest of your life. But better to be broke and being proud of yourself for not following the "safe" path than to be wondering what might have happened if you had not followed a dream.
PS I have not read every comment here, so I hope my comment is not ridiculously redundant. Go for it, a-tectress, you sound smart enough to achieve it.
He had the same 'fee' with radius 10, a hip new restaurant in the Gulch. He has been recently partnering up wit Hastings Architecture for many larger scale projects (Terrazzo, Griffin Plaza). They are definately making a mark on the built environment in Nashville.
I believe that you should go for your degree. There are many reasons, but let me list the obvious. Firstly, getting married or finding someone you love isn't something we plan. Love comes to us, whether we are ready or not. Secondly, Lets say you did get married and had kids....then what? You will lack goals and ambitions, and will be very bored, and then you would finally want to get your arch. degree that you should have gotten Long ago. That Being said, START YOUR PATH TO YOUR AMBITION NOW, there is no reason that you shouldn't. Hopefully, when you get married, you can compromise with your husband when it comes to taking care of the children, it is important for at least one parent to be with the new born for 2 years - and I think any firm can understand that. So PLEASE, if I was you, START YOUR ARCHITECTURE PATH NOW.
puddles brought up an issue that I too have been mystified by lately...that so many educated women on the cusp of launching a successful career instead make the choice to be full-time moms. Now, this is a debate for another day - the working mom vs. stay-at-home mom. Read "The Feminist Mistake" for all you could ever want to know about that debate and let me know what you think.
Wtd also speaks the truth - as a female in this you will get questioned if you choose to focus on career only, like "are you SURE you don't want a family?" and if you say you want a family in the future people will say, "are you SURE you can make that work?"
Of course a male in that situation does not get these loaded questions because everyone is comfortable with the idea of him having help and support from his partner. Guys, please don't interpret this as bashing...I just know from experience how complex this balance can be for your female co-workers.
So you've gotten incredibly encouraging comments here. I know when I decided, a little later than others, that I really did want to be an architect, that I had near-anxiety attacks about stepping into the unknown. But something in my gut told me that the sacrifice and college-driven life of poverty was worth it. I'm not making the big bucks now, but I love my work and it was absolutely worth it for me.
And as far as the love connection goes, start becoming the person you want to be, and the person you want to be with will find you.
smallpotatoes- you and old fogey need to write a book... ooh, you can call it WhatToDo. A sort of "how to" of life in this crazy industry/ world.
You guys have a way of making things clear and possible (and exciting) while still being realistic.
this quote should be on the dust jacket... And as far as the love connection goes, start becoming the person you want to be, and the person you want to be with will find you.
-smallpotatoes
WTD, I would love to believe that I could compliment the wisdom of OF!
I just have really spent (too much) time weighing the pros & cons of this issue of balance. Soon enough I might elaborate on why.
I just hope all of this discourse might help 870 put her head down and charge.
I think most of us think that such a big decision has been easier for everyone else to make- that our individual situations are far more complicated, but the reality is that the sort of commitment this takes is a big step for everyone. Fear takes form in many excuses...money, family, distance, time, age, etc...we've all used them. Ultimately, in this day and age, we can do whatever we want...but opportunities don't always just knock on our doors, we have to find and take advantage of them.
870, read this thread (especially Living in Gin's story) and you'll see that we took many different paths, some more complicated than others, but most of us have found (or are in the process of finding) our place in this world. There is no "right" way to do this...
move to new mexico.......
get in the program....unm is super cheap
find a partner in school if thats what you want
have fun and dont stress out
architecture leads to many paths that are not architecture
get a recomendation from "Vado Retro" for a job
pura vida
Architecture Or Family?
Hello all. I'm having trouble figuring out what path my life should take and I need some advice.
I'm 32, never married and childless, and I am considering a major career change. I would like to study architecture, as it has been a great love of mine since I was a child-but I would also someday like to become a wife and stay at home mother. I have been hesitating on returning to school for several reasons, the biggest one being money-I hardly have enough cash to pay rent each month, not to mention, I won't be able to afford tuition and books. The nearest architectural school is 3 hours away in a city I don't care to live in, and the only other option would be to live with my sister in Detroit, who is married and has her own family already, and attend school there.
As much as I love architecture and designing buildings, I am afraid that if throw myself headlong into a new career, I might miss out on the chance to have a family.
There is, of course, no guarantee I will be a success in architecture, or for that matter, I will even like it-I'm not sure I have the right temperment for it, and I am sorely lacking in mathematical aptitude-but I think I would do well in design and rendering. However, there's much more to architecture than just pretty drawings of pretty buildings, and for me it's kind of an all or nothing thing.
Likewise, I don't want to be 60 years old and still wasting my time waiting for someone to build a family with (pun intended), when I could've used all that time to design a decent career.
The job I have now is merely that-low end graphic design job with poor benefits and no recognition-if I died at my desk nobody would notice-
and it barely gets my bills paid.
Sorry this post was so long and depressing-I am at my wit's end, and I need to do something...I can't take this anymore.
Thanks,
870
assuming that you've got a b.a. already in somehting, then a march. is gonna take you at least 3.5 years which makes ya 36 upon graduating. best case get registered in three years after that which makes ya 40. so best case you'll be 40 by the earliest time you can become an architect. i assume you are going to marry a rich guy so you can do the stay at home mom thing? everyone in this field that i know is married has kids or is gay with a partner. i am the only lone wolf out there. its a lonely lonely place. if you are not a wolf that is.
870- I think you just got your ass kicked at being depressing in your own thread!!!
seriously though- you can't just go out and 'build' a family, it kinda just has to happen (or not). You do have much more control over what you do to fill your days and make your money, so if it's what you want to and have to do to be you then do it, nobody is going to marry you for who you may have wanted to be.
Find a way to make it work, cause worrying about the $$$ will always be there, so you might as well do what you want to...
vado, i don't think i'm married either...guess you're not the only one.
870, why not try? there'll be plenty of opportunity for architecture to reject you, or—to be more polite—steer you in a different direction. the worst that could happen is you won't become an architect...and you're already not an architect. nothing lost.
go with your passion ... if you want to be an architect, figure out a practical way to be one. being an architect does not preclude having a family, although it does create some challenges along those lines.
however, don't necessarily expect architecture to be a great deal different from "The job [you] have now [that's] merely a low-end graphic design job with poor benefits and no recognition-if [you] died at [your] desk nobody would notice-and it barely gets [your] bills paid."
nevertheless, if you're going to be poor, you might as well be poor doing something you love. hell, that's why the rest of us here hang around this maddening profession, right ?
puddles- not sure? lol
870- make like Nike and just do it. also, i don't understand why where you can study is so limited- 3 hours away or Detroit? what's holding you to only those choices? A huge majority of us can't "afford" to go to school, but we make it happen. Don't short your options- you might get a scholarship...
Either way, the years are going to go by, and you'll be getting older whether you pursue your dream or not. So why not? Get on it!
it seems to me that you have very limited knowledge about architecture or what architects do except that it has been your dream. i would suggest talking to an architect or browse some topics on this site till you get an understanding. its important to know what you'll be involved with before stepping in the profession.
Also, there is a chance that once you do have kids, you can draft/render/design from home for an actual firm. We contract some things out to Jennifer, whoever she is, and I am going to ask my firm to allow me to do something similar once I have my kid in February. Crossing my fingers. So go for the architecture thing. School WILL be harder to do once you have kids, or get 15 years older. Those all nighters in studio can't be easy on a Mom, or a 47 year old.
[1+1=870]
I would agree that you may want to open your eyes a little more, there are several places to study architecture around the US as well as in other countries. A little research can reveal so much, including grants and scholarships to assist your endeavour.
Also, you might already have what it takes, but are unaware of those useful talents...its not all math. Many schools of architecture take the position that you enter as a defined blank slate and build you up from there...ie. what you don't know they'll teach you.
But on another note, I'm like vado a lone wolf. I'm likely to be dead on the praire (pun intended) without a soul knowing. Families are great, but from the tone in your post it seems that your urge to be an architect is far stronger...imo you should follow the strongest calling, and the other is likely to follow suit.
There are some great moms on archinect, and their contributions are likely to be the wisdom you need.
g'luck
who needs math when you got a building trades calculator!
870,
Seems like there are a lot of single men available for you here. Maybe you could be a stay at home mom with an Architect husband who lets you colaborate on jobs with him. Only one liscense in needed to build something. What do you say Vado, Techno, Puddles?
Everything everyone has said so far is great advice!.
Yes....architecture takes up alot of your time.....and you should understand how much before you decide to go into it.
but!...if you love it....then its extremely gratifying. (and well worth the time and effort.)
-as for the family and kids..... i guess it depends.
Do you have a partner right now? are you both prepared to have kida right now or in the near future?
If you don't.....then why not become an architect in the mean time while you're waiting to find your other half?
who knows maybe they'll be an architect too.....and know what the life style is like.
i understand ur being torn about the family thing. (being a female myself, and wanting to have kids some day).
But.....tons of couples (that are architect(s)) make it work.
So...i'm sure you can!
870...currently, don't like your job, or your career?
my suggestion: before you make a decision, visit a local architectural firm///i don't mean to be discouraging, but a realistic view of the profession is important...and regardless of whether you not you choose architecture, you can still raise a family...so don't let that hold you back...
fyi, the detroit area has 3 arch. schools (University of Detroit-Mercy, Lawrence Tech University and University of Michigan - in Ann Arbor) for you to consider.
no wife of mine is gonna be no architect!
meaning she is going to be an architect?
my wife is an "architect"...so it's not a problem for us to spend 90% of our vacation visiting and photographing buildings...and she understands perfectly when i have to work late or when i am just too stressed or angry to talk when i get home...
You see a wedding ring? Does this place look like I'm fucking married?
The toilet seat's up!
uhmmm...I'm not licensed. Phew I knew one day that would come in handy. Right handy!
870,
but don't just study architecture. work in a firm. school is all about dreaming up inventive designs, but practice can be much more of a grind.
also, keep in mind that it takes a long time to make it in architecture. even after a couple of years of school, it'll take you six or seven years of practice just to figure out how to put a simple building together and get it built -- never mind a large building or owning your own practice.
lots of people, including me, love architecture in the abstract, but are really frustrated with the profession. but if I were 23 again, i honestly don't think i'd go into this field, knowing what i know now.
I want to teach now that I know firms are about pleasing the client and drafting construction docs.
farwests comment made me wonder...if you have to ask if it's worth it...is it worth it? I mean, I have sacrificed a lot and taken many risks to follow this dream. I'm ok w/ it because I know I don't want to do anything else on earth, but my friends and family think I'm nuts.
I am also not interested in having a family in anywhere near future, so that makes my decision a little easier...
I tend to be an all or nothing kinda gal, so that might cloud my perspective. What do you guys think...does design/architecture have to be your everything?
no
what to do...i believe design/architecture takes a lot of commitment, in and out of work, but a designer in a vaccuum is a bad designer.
Work or Family is just not a choice. I am getting really tired of my female contemporaries thinking the only possible way is to choose one in order to do it well. Some women only truly want one of them, so it makes it easier to pursue a path. I want both and I'm not going to tolerate another person telling me I can't.
If you decide to pursue architecure, your heart will have to be dedicated in order to survive. only you can answer that commitment for yourself. Sounds like you need to realistically check your priorities. If what you really want is to fall in love, have children, and devote yourself full-time to your family, then why bother entering into a multi-year commitment that you would bail on if mr. perfect came around?
I know it sounds crazy, but both IS possible. It just will probably look like nothing you expected. If you want to make it happen, you'll find a way. the timing of it for you had made it somewhat complex, but what choice do you have now? follow your dreams and know you tried and the rest will work itself out, just don't sit still and later on regret not acting when you had a chance.
I think it was Old Fogey who said, "Have the courage to chart your own path"
i was chatting with a friend recently and we were both surprised by how many gsd graduates we know who are now happily married stay-at-home moms...although i'd imagine that most of them will eventually pick up working again. sounds good to me. go figure.
Hey folks,
Time to address some of your comments...forgive me if I miss someone...it's not because you're not special :)
Someone mentioned I had a limited knowledge of architecture-unfortunately, I'm afraid that's true, and that's why I've joined Archinect and have been trying to read up on it and ask questions.
The last time I actually had a meaningful conversation with an architect was when I was in high school-I made friends with a man who was an architectural designer at one of the city's well-known firms, but he left the firm some time ago and I haven't been able to find him. I had a lot more guts when I was 16-I was visiting this office constantly, asking questions and looking around...I know they were probably sick of me...but I just feel self conscious about it now.
Needless to say, I forgot everything I learned. >:(
I actually wrote a letter to Richard Meier last year complimenting him on his work and he responded, but I didn't pester him with a lot of questions about his job-I figured he was probably too busy to entertain a bunch of questions from some girl who thought she wanted to be an architect!
Someone asked me why I only had two locations in mind when it came to school...
1. There are no architectural schools in Nashville-the nearest one is Knoxville, and I don't want to live there, not to mention, paying for housing would be a problem-
2. I have family in Detroit-and they would let me live with them, so housing wouldn't be an issue-and I actually sort of like it there.
3. I just can't afford to pull up and move somewhere by myself-not to mention, I don't drive.
I need to know all the good and the bad-I know I've read many posts about folks being totally disillusioned with the profession and wondering why the heck they stayed in it so long, while others love it dearly and wouldn't give it up for the world. I tend to be more pessimistic about things, so I wonder if I could handle working in an architectural office or would it break me?
Anyway, keep the posts coming. Thanks, y'all. :)
I shouldn't have said anything- I knew I would get that response. I sort of feel like people look down on me because I should be more interested in a husband & kids at my age (26)- like there is something wrong with me wanting a career first. When a guy is focused on his career at this age, and isn't looking for any other commitments, I feel like it's applauded.
I guess I meant that if you have to ask if it's worth it...then is it worth it? No matter your level of commitment to other things, most people seem to have to sacrifice (at least while going through school).
If it is just fear of _____ (the unknown, money, time, etc) holding you back, but architecture is in your heart, then do it because life has a way of working itself out. i really don't think you should limit yourself to those two choices. With scholarships, a school across the country was cheaper for me to attend that the one 20 minutes away....meaning, apply to the best programs to suit you and see what happens.
I like what puddles said..."the worst that could happen is you won't become an architect...and you're already not an architect. nothing lost."
WhatToDo :
i totally feel you on the "should " of being a female and the typical responses from poeple about kids and a husband.
i am 26 as well. and not that i'll never want a family....its just not stopping me from continuing in my career.
And i have definitly gotten the strange looks from people when they hear that i am not really concerned as to whether i'll get married or not.
And i absolutely agreee on the "if you have to ask if it's worth it...then is it worth it?" regarding 870's dilema.
Like yourself...for me...it has never been a question of "am i going to go to school and get a great job in the field...etc."
its just happening...and if the family comes along....then i'll deal with it.
Anyway...just wanted to let you kow.... i hear where your coming from
I live in Nashville. If you want to have a discourse about the ins-and-outs of architecture, feel free to email me.
definitely NOT architecture tumbles. English Litterashure.
870- i love detroit as much as anybody (and it's good to hear that you are also fond of it)...however, i'll warn you that it is a tough place/environment to live these days let alone become an architect. on the other hand, if you can get started with school (and possibly first job) there then it should make other places feel relatively easy. if that is your best option then i'd really encourage you to go for it.
and while you are at it, i also suggest running in the detroit marathon as well. it's a really great experience.
Heads up on Manuel: his pay is shit. Beyond shit. He pays his interns based on a project's profits. That may work except he loves bargaining his design fees for a lifetime of free food/alcohol at the future restaurant/bar. But, he is an interesting guy nonetheless and is doing great things for the design scene in this town.
go for it 870: I'm 24, not through grad school yet, and want a family one day too: if you do have children one day you'll have no regrets during the 15 years they can't conversate - People at my firm take their kids to jobsites [under very strict supervision and adorable hard hats of course] and kids love that stuff - I think you can only be a better parent or spouse if you are your best self: It's 2007 and we can still have it all.
I just love it when Fogey joins the conversation. There is a such a level ofo insight and knowledge in everything he says. In an instant 870 has been opened up to easily half a dozen real employment and scholastic opportunities
Old friend great to see that you are still lurking around
OF is one of the Great Sages of the Archinect,
my great great grandfather, william m. lines, died of typhoid fever in nashville in february 1865.
Thanks everybody-I never thought this post would generate so much interest!
Thank you OldFogey for your suggestions-I think it would be a great idea to get my foot in the door at a firm as a graphic designer so I could see what goes every day in an architect's office before I make a big commitment to school.
You guys and gals rock :)
High five to "smallpotatoes" too.....she pretty much summed it up for me:
I want both and I'm not going to tolerate another person telling me I can't.
Yeah!
architectress- look no further, the solution to your problem is in this thread.
- thus spoke small potatoes.
Yeah - smallpotatoes hit it right on here.
Do what you love, in all aspects of life, and the details will work themselves out. This DOES NOT mean that you will not be broke and questioning your decisions for the rest of your life. But better to be broke and being proud of yourself for not following the "safe" path than to be wondering what might have happened if you had not followed a dream.
PS I have not read every comment here, so I hope my comment is not ridiculously redundant. Go for it, a-tectress, you sound smart enough to achieve it.
He had the same 'fee' with radius 10, a hip new restaurant in the Gulch. He has been recently partnering up wit Hastings Architecture for many larger scale projects (Terrazzo, Griffin Plaza). They are definately making a mark on the built environment in Nashville.
I second the Janice comment. She is a gem.
I believe that you should go for your degree. There are many reasons, but let me list the obvious. Firstly, getting married or finding someone you love isn't something we plan. Love comes to us, whether we are ready or not. Secondly, Lets say you did get married and had kids....then what? You will lack goals and ambitions, and will be very bored, and then you would finally want to get your arch. degree that you should have gotten Long ago. That Being said, START YOUR PATH TO YOUR AMBITION NOW, there is no reason that you shouldn't. Hopefully, when you get married, you can compromise with your husband when it comes to taking care of the children, it is important for at least one parent to be with the new born for 2 years - and I think any firm can understand that. So PLEASE, if I was you, START YOUR ARCHITECTURE PATH NOW.
puddles brought up an issue that I too have been mystified by lately...that so many educated women on the cusp of launching a successful career instead make the choice to be full-time moms. Now, this is a debate for another day - the working mom vs. stay-at-home mom. Read "The Feminist Mistake" for all you could ever want to know about that debate and let me know what you think.
Wtd also speaks the truth - as a female in this you will get questioned if you choose to focus on career only, like "are you SURE you don't want a family?" and if you say you want a family in the future people will say, "are you SURE you can make that work?"
Of course a male in that situation does not get these loaded questions because everyone is comfortable with the idea of him having help and support from his partner. Guys, please don't interpret this as bashing...I just know from experience how complex this balance can be for your female co-workers.
So you've gotten incredibly encouraging comments here. I know when I decided, a little later than others, that I really did want to be an architect, that I had near-anxiety attacks about stepping into the unknown. But something in my gut told me that the sacrifice and college-driven life of poverty was worth it. I'm not making the big bucks now, but I love my work and it was absolutely worth it for me.
And as far as the love connection goes, start becoming the person you want to be, and the person you want to be with will find you.
smallpotatoes- you and old fogey need to write a book... ooh, you can call it WhatToDo. A sort of "how to" of life in this crazy industry/ world.
You guys have a way of making things clear and possible (and exciting) while still being realistic.
this quote should be on the dust jacket...
And as far as the love connection goes, start becoming the person you want to be, and the person you want to be with will find you.
-smallpotatoes
WTD, I would love to believe that I could compliment the wisdom of OF!
I just have really spent (too much) time weighing the pros & cons of this issue of balance. Soon enough I might elaborate on why.
I just hope all of this discourse might help 870 put her head down and charge.
oh and hi-5 yourself Wonderk & liberty bell...
(insert that toolbox from "Scrubs" who insists on punctuating all comments w/ hi-5's)
I think most of us think that such a big decision has been easier for everyone else to make- that our individual situations are far more complicated, but the reality is that the sort of commitment this takes is a big step for everyone. Fear takes form in many excuses...money, family, distance, time, age, etc...we've all used them. Ultimately, in this day and age, we can do whatever we want...but opportunities don't always just knock on our doors, we have to find and take advantage of them.
870, read this thread (especially Living in Gin's story) and you'll see that we took many different paths, some more complicated than others, but most of us have found (or are in the process of finding) our place in this world. There is no "right" way to do this...
move to new mexico.......
get in the program....unm is super cheap
find a partner in school if thats what you want
have fun and dont stress out
architecture leads to many paths that are not architecture
get a recomendation from "Vado Retro" for a job
pura vida
new mexico, the land of entrapment.
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