I'd really appreciate it if some any of you guys would look at my portfolio and tell me what you think.
Unfortunately, I can't post the url up here because it contains some private professional work that I'm not 100% sure about making freely available, but if you are interested, just drop me an email by clicking on my name and I'll send the url to you right away. Please don't let this prevent you from giving it a look.
I have applied to the gsd only so far (UK deadlines are much later it seems)
well.. there goes my portfolio, back to the drawing board for me.
One of the best portfolios i've seen in quite some time. The design wasn't distracting or taking away from the work.. which was awesome. Very nice professional work, especially from the second firm.
I'm torn on the personal work, however. It seems a little too thrown in, or unnecessary. I was impressed with the start of the portfolio, but the two illustrations were kind of distracting. But quite nice overall!
since it's over. I will just tell you what I think of your portfolio,
not that I found anything to improve your portfolio.
I am preparing for portfolio as well. if schools I am applying don't have page restrictions (UIUC has 25 pages restriction, in particular), maybe I would've used many diagrams, and enlarged images, as you did.
71 pages seem alot.
however, I have class mates who applied to GSD, having over 50 pages.
and He told me that he talked to the person who got into GSD, and that person had over 50 pages, with bunch of diagrams.
so I am not that concerned about # of pages.
man... you had internships at some famous firms!!!
The projects you were involved, are damn good.
I think it will be hard for GSD reviewers to overlook the projects you were involved. However, I feel that your professioal works overshadow your academic works, because your professional works are outstanding.
Thanks Danny - for the compliment and the criticism. :)
I know what you mean about the personal work. I think the continuity of the portfolio as a whole did suffer there. It was only recently I noticed the shift from black to white background too - I can't help but think that gave it a feeling of being tacked on, like you say.
The whole reason I put that work in there though was because I heard on here that some admissions panels like to see a bit of 'you' in the portfolio - something away from just architecture. I guess in that sense, the transition to the personal work was always going to be a bit jarring, but I'll try to improve it.
S.Park - I take your point about the professional work overshadowing the uni work, but really there was no other way to arrange it. I feel I had to make the best of my experience in the portfolio, as well as put across my own design skills.
You have to remember - the internships were always as part of a team...the academic work is all my own. I think on this level the admissions people will probably learn more about *me* perse from the uni projects than from the professional work
very nice Chch
one thing is it might be a little long for some schools, though i dont know how it works in the UK
i know that for the couple places i applied, if it was over 20-30 pages, they kind of lost interest
that said, i think it looks great, and dont know what i would suggest cutting
i dont think you should really, since it is such a diverse selection, having professional and personal
that probably makes it acceptable to be that long
one other thing, i dont know if it was my computer acting up
but were some pages toward the end on white backgrounds?
why did you deviate from the black background?
that seemed a little odd, but i could be nit picking
good luck!
Chch, very good portfolio overall, but I do have to agree with some of the items previously touched on.
First off, it does seem quite lengthy. You do have some great work in there, and it all seems relevant, but I think by narrowing it down just a bit further, the portfolio could become that much stronger.
Also, it does seem quite diagram-heavy. The one diagram I thought worked very well, however, was the one you used in the table of contents.
I also noticed a shift between a predominately black page to a predominately white page, which may hinder the portfolio from reading as one united work.
You worked on some great projects at some great firms, and I think that may be the highlight of your portfolio. Some of your personal work doesn't seem to fit in, though. Not all of it, however. You may want to be more selective in that category to assure that all included work remains relevant.
On a final note, how can I score some internships like that!?!
About the length -
As I say, it only went to the gsd where there was no page restrictions (as long as it was under 2" thick!). I felt with the double-page title spreads etc that it was perhaps not as long as the numbers would suggest. But I do think you're right - it needs that final trim to bring it down again. I think it's just a matter of reaching a balance.
The backgrounds -
Yeah, the backgrounds do shift to white at the end. This is something that I feel was a mistake. Originally, I just felt it was more suitable for presenting illustrations etc., but with the crazy rush for the deadline (you know how it is) I overlooked the consistency of the whole. I'll be changing this for future printing.
Internships -
There was no trick involved, I just wrote a letter to the firms in question. From there it went to interviews and then finally the job. I think luck played a big part.
S.Park - I'm not sure I understand your question, but I did get letters of recommendation from the latter two firms. I really should chase up the first one though (the last in the portolio, as it's reverse chronilogical)
...but they were standard letters of recommendation, not ones sent to the gsd or anything. The gsd required at least 2 out of the 3 to be academic recommendations
A very nice portfolio. The simple graphic layout makes it easy to read and very cohesive. It is quite long and in depth, but I think that's fine because you put an emphasis on process and diagrams. I would definitely agree with the others about your personal section. I think you should continue with the black background and possibly just stick to your photography (black and white possibly). Very nice work!
really nice work chch. you have a great variety of project types which shows a nice cross section of your abilities. personally, i'm not a huge fan of black backgrounds because i don't think they print especially well, and i would watch out on the switching background colors...it's a little distracting at times. how are you binding this?
my only other comment would be relevancy of all images. it is nice to have many of them in there, but when people look at your portfolio they most likely aren't going to have time to study the diagrams, etc, also many images seem to be repetitive.
for future portfolios, or if you decide to condense...see if you can focus on just picking out the most important images...after all you are only showing 7 projects...and i don't think your pictures have to be quite so large. hitting an appropriate page length is important...people might start to loose interest if you don't keep things to the point.
I think what S.Park meant was did you actually know the person who was recommending you well. Generally you want a letter that is personal and addresses who you are and your work ethic. Its obvious when someone writes about you and knows you as a person as opposed to a generic milk and toast letter that could be about anyone.
admiller - thanks for the feedback - I like your suggestion about the black bg with b/w photos. I think that could look much better. Even just a little desaturation would help them fit in to the overall look. Cheers.
Justavisual - I feel your pain about the black bg, believe me. I had a nightmare getting it printed but finally found somewhere that makes the black look really nice. But yes - I had to go through about 4 other print shops before I found that quality. I bound it with wire-o (I think that's what you call it - like spiral but lots of parrallel wires)
Also, an important point that I haven't made is that the portfolio is only 7"x9". At this scale, I think the big images can get away without feeling so big and the number of pages feels a little more understandable. Hopefully. :)
cpnorris - that was the case for the GSD rec, but not so much for the others.
Unfortunately, they are quite attached to their as-good-as-useless anonymous letters of recommendation. :) I do intend to fix this for at least one of the firms though.
I think your portfolio is really good. I am also not a fan of black backgrounds, mostly because it is really over done and "architecty", but it still works and looks nice. I pretty much agree with what everyone else has said and the only comment I will add is that in your professional experience you have worked on some pretty huge projects, yet you never say exactly what your contribution was. I think this is pretty dangerous, esp. since you worked at each of these firms for only a few months. I would suggest saying something like "My contributions to this project were...." because as it is now I have no idea what you did. For example, you have the CCTV tower in there, which is one of the biggest projects in the world and you typed its program and when OMA won the competition but never say what you did on that project or why its in your portfolio. You just need to be careful when putting someone elses work in your portfolio. Other than that everything looks great.
cpnorris - for that you should refer to the key at the beginning of the Professional section. That explains the labels that denote which work I did, which was as part of a team, and which wasn't mine. Of course, I couldn't include everything I worked on, nor could I explain the project well enough using only things I worked on, so I thought this was the best balance.
I do agree, though - I could do with some explicit statements of my total contribution. That is something I'll look to add in later versions. Cheers. :)
Now I see the key. That definitely helps, though I still think a brief description would be even stronger cause if you leave a recommender with any questions as to what you actually did I think it will just make you look bad or dishonest. I hope I am not coming off as an asshole here, just trying to give some good critism. All in all I think its a very nice package and I'm sure you will get into a great school. Good luck!
-The first project is intense and full of great ideas. It takes a hard look to actually see what is going on, you may need to make a diagram larger or maybe you could reintroduce color into the diagram/section in page 8. Keep all your diagrams you may just want to make sure that some speak louder than others.
-The second project is great for all the moments of intensity you created and the many renderings reinforce that idea. Would you consider adding people, furniture, etc... to bring in that intensity into the representation?
-The third project is great and very easy to understand in a quick look.
-I like the visual stimuli
-As cpnorris said you may want to explain your role in the professional experience side of things. Congratulations on all those internships by the way. The three firms (and all the projects) are wildly different and it would be interesting to see what you thought of working at these three places.
- I personally would eliminate pages 60-71. They don't really say anything you havent already said and they feel a bit forced.
I didnt notice the key either, you may want to be more explicit on what you did. I think that you may not want to seem like you are floating from starchitect to starchitect (although I am sure that it doenst hurt;). Maybe creating an academic narrative for your experiences i.e. what did you learn from doing each project.
cpnorris - not at all - I don't think you're being an asshole. You make a good point - I should always prepare for the worst. I hope it is clear that deception was never my intention, but I agree - I should be more explicit in describing my exact role.
+q - thanks for some great comments and suggestions. I happen to agree with all your points, especailly populating the second project.
In terms of communicating what I learned from the experiences - I agree, I don't want to look like I'm aimlessly going for brand names in the profession. That was not my intention or my experience, but I have seen some people react that way when they see my CV.
To sum up my general aims of wanting to work at those firms, I wanted to enhance my awareness of and abilities in: form, programme, and sustainability, respectively (and also experience of a smaller, more procedural firm at the one that is in the contents page but isn't covered).
And, while I would have loved to explain what I learned from these firms, this was one place in the portfolio where I felt that leaving the admissions panel wanting more might be appropriate - though that could go either way it seems.
I think most of my criticisms would be covered by the comments here. I think the size is nice; personally I dig the smaller portfolios, and you've done a good job balancing the image sizes to amount of content you include.
I think +q has, perhaps, the comment I would ask you to consider. The one thing I think is missing from your portfolio is a sense of direction - that you are deliberately pursing some agenda in your work, that you see, upon reflection, a thread that ties your interests together. Beyond just general ideas of form or programme, is there something that you have found pushing your work? If so, I'd like to see that come through, so when I look at your portfolio, I get a better sense of you.
I think the image with the most personality is that second illustration you did; It is a great image, but know that it stands out - so consider if that is what you want people to think of when they think of you...I love it, but it may not be what you want someone to walk away from your portfolio remember...
Regradless, it is really good. And I think I'll go off and weep...your portfolio kicks my portfolio's ass...
-First project, extremely good, I love the diagrams (p.4, 5, 8, 11 stand out), the project takes a little time to understand but I think it defeinitely rouses interest....Although I would have appreciated a overall view of how the whole thing reads as a building when put together, as opposed to piecing together the snippets of information in my head? As a result I can only imagine the result from the axonometrics on p.10, leaves me wanting more....One money shot can't hurt. I also agree with +q, the spread on p.7-8 needs a little color to give it focus.
-I like the BW renderings, very good sense of spatial qualities...And I second the comment about populating the space, or alternatively showing how the spaces are used (by use of diagrams, or user trajectories) rather than the textual description...maybe by overlaying usage patterns on the plans on p.16, 18? Or if you prefer to keep your small plans clean and neat, use the exploded axonometric on 17 to convey more information....the collages on 19 work great.
-Interesting 3rd proposal, simple and neat. I personally would turn the large renders on page 25-26 to BW though, it fits your overall tone much better that way, all your spreads are mainly BW with a little color here and there. Or maybe just highlight elements you think critical. Just a thought.
-The professional stuff, I would recommend you highlight your role and contributions, as opposed to a general description of a project most everyone knows by sight. For example, CCTV, I'm sure everyone on the juries know about it, but what were your contributions? Must have been a great learning experience though, i'm sure they'll take that into account.
-Personal, p.61-62 I would edit out, the render is great but we can already tell that you have l33t render skillz from your academic work. =) And 62 really stands out, not necessarily in a bad way, but I'm not sure how people would interpret this, either really good or really bad. At least I got a question mark in my head. The photography is fine, and I happen to think photography works better on a white background, so maybe add some unifying elements to make it seem more of a whole?
On an offside, why are you applying for MArch I ? I'd say you have good enough skills for MArch II, is it personal preference? Or is it because your under program is a 4-year?
You have a way with diagrams, must be the OMA influence =)
And which schools in Europe are you applying to? I'm also applying to both sides of the Atlantic, but still not sure where I really want to go.
BTW I have afriend studying in Edinburg right now, hear it's a lovely city. I also know a senior graduate of my school who works at Zaha, small world huh. Good luck and let us know where you get in!
-I agree on all the points you made about the projects. I really like the idea of desaturating the third project, too - thanks.
-The professional stuff I think I've touched on above - I'll be adding more detailed accounts of my contributions.
-Personal - Something which you have made me realise is that I didn't describe the chrysler image well enough. It's not actually a render - it's a 2D vector done entirely in Illustrator. I really should have made this clear, so thanks for pointing it out.
The 2nd illustration was put in for a bit of diversification. I'm still not sure whether to cut it out or not. If it is left in though, it'll definitely be reduced to give it less impact. Like you say, it stands out too much right now.
Thanks for the MArch II comment! Unfortunately, yes, my undergrad was a 4yr MA(Hons) course, so MArch I is the only possible next step as far as I know. I think I'll be applying to Bartlett and TU Delft with a few others I'm sure.
What year's your friend in? Is he doing undergrad or March?
Be sure to send me yours (and let me know the name of the Zaha guy too!).
Love: diagrams and sketches. Excellent balance of super clean graphic diagrams and sketches. Very rare, too.
Depth: you clearly demonstrate there is a depth to your process, not just one liners (don't matter if that's the case, but it looks that way). This will be huge for the reviewing folk.
Page 19: nice balance of rendering and diagram/photo collage. Looks old school and new school. I like the transition to Page 20, it's very successful in its simplicity and actually got me to read it!
Thought: I'd really love to see all projects conclude with an image that stands out as much as Page 19. It really made me go back and look at more of the project.
Thought2: I think you could shorten/condese this a lot. In a book form it probably won't be a huge deal, but there's a lot of blank space. I'd think 3 pages per project is plenty (general thought, that may not always work).
Thought3: I agree with some of the other comments about the professional work. I'd significantly edit it. You don't need fluff - you've got the names and put a few details about what you worked on, but skip the rest.
The typography is inconsistent throughout. Sometimes, the blocks of text are aligned to the left. sometimes they're aligned to the right, sometimes they're centered, and in at least one instance they wrap to the images on the page (pg 28). Mostly it's all caps (standard typographic no-no for paragraph length body text!), but there are a few instances when it's done in upper/lowercase, and there doesn't seem to be a conceptual or info-design justification for all of the variations. You aren't a graphic designer so don't worry about insane nitpicking and beautiful kerning, but finding one consistent format would clean it up.
Contentwise, a lot of the language in the body text is overly pedantic and awkward. For example the phrase "mono-directional route through the given space" instead of "straight line through the space." Archispeak attacks! What do you really want to say about each project?
I was surprised to see a "detention centre" or prison function as part 1 of 3 of the program and feel this requires some explanation because that language carries a lot of weight. Other than labeling the site "notorious" there is none - why would a housing estate require this? Is it a criminal detention, or immigrant detention? It might be explained in a sentence or even just by adding one word in to what you have.
Throughout the portfolio, the diagrams are unclear. I know many people have praised them, but remember that praise is coming from a bunch of architects, not information designers :) (I wonder what rationalist would have to say on the topic...) Personally, I found them to be more decorative than informational - maybe they are informative but I wasn't successfully informed by them, if that makes sense. Especially in the housing complex, the meaning keys are separate from the content they are intended to clarify, and some related information is oriented vertically while other information is oriented horizontally. Overall, the information design seems too complex for the amount of data that is to be conveyed. HOWEVER - you are sending this to admissions committees made up of a bunch of architects, so maybe they will also like them; plus I don't want to sound too much like I am projecting my own *ahem* issues too much.
As far as iconography, the one that I assume is meant to be a person praying in the Muslim style looks more like "doggystyle"... oops... maybe the person needs the addition of praying hands and the head lowered down prayerfully a little bit. Or else I am just a perv. Ha.
That "visual footnotes" ghetto in the end of your academic section could be expanded, while you contract the professional section where your input was not as the head of each projects. Even though you don't describe them, those photos of each project look pretty awesome. Maybe they deserve a little more attention? They're subtitled "work not shown," but actually, you are showing them, because if they weren't shown then they wouldn't be there.
On your Professional section, I agree with other people that it would be better from an info design standpoint to clarify your contributions & to credit other contributors explicitly on a per-project basis rather than having an isolated key at the beginning. It's not userfriendly to make people refer back to that. I know you are trying to emphasize important images for the whole project by making them large, but you could emphasize your personal contribution by blowing up images of the things you worked on by yourself or in teams, while making others' work & renderings thumbnail sized or simply leaving them out. Maybe it's possible to streamline to focus not on the whole building/process, but on your contribution. The images designated as being your work could be blown up for some sweet eye candy, and a visual break from all of the very densely informative pages. Yes the projects and the names are outstanding, but you are applying to school, not the starchitects. Since you probably can't claim a ton of conceptual input, it's more a case of showing off your work experience and ability to take on real world rendering/modeling/teamwork than to develop design ideas.
Personal section - I think that, if you have it, there should be more work in here, and more in-depth project briefs and explanations. It's rather disproportionately austere in comparison to the very detailed rest of your portfolio. An upside to this is that from a design standpoint I rather prefer the space/breathing room in this section as compared to the rest of the layouts. I know you have a lot of information to convey in the portfolio, but perhaps a few image-and-caption-only "breather" spreads, one per project or something, could help cohere the whole portfolio and then this section wouldn't stick out so much. But if that is too much of a pain in the arse because your pagination is not automatic... don't sweat it too much! It's easier to just add or take away stuff off the back :)
Finally, I couldn't tell from the PDF but I read up the thread that it's a smaller size. I really like that scale for books, so good decision!
i had pretty much the same response as nambypambics.
the work is very good, the presentation nice, and the diagrams (without considering content, for reasons echoing namby's above) quite impressive.
won't talk about professional work, cuz main points are covered above quite well...
regarding your academic work, i found myself too often looking for an image where each project came together, and was a bit frustrated that i had to do the work of synthesising it all on my own in most instances. the projects in that sense are presented sort of episodically within themselves. which is nice for the details (which are generally quite good), less happy-making when trying to get a quick understanding.
the first project also left me feeling that the research and diagrams were self-serving, apparently leading you to a conclusion that was unavoidable, but on inspection were more convincing as a personal thing that you just wanted to do. the cultural assumptions wrapped around the call to prayer (which you seem to have changed to a lightbox, rather than a call?) for muslims, and the inclusion of a detention centre, among other things, are also kind of baffling for me, as pointed out by m. namby above. what exactly is going on? and why? like naby i am not sure what the images are exactly supposed to be communicating.
the third project is more appealling to me, maybe cuz easier to understand than anything else. don't know if desaturating is the answer, but perhaps adding people to the image in p 26 will help. otherwise quite ok...as i am into architecture as urbanism, the idea that the building expands to become integrated more with the city is interesting for me personally, and you show it diagramatically well enough...but oddly without any indication of the site. how large is the site? can you expand the building indefinitely? and how does the expansion actually lead to integration with public life? is it just cuz people have to walk around the new obstruction in the sidewalk sort of thing?
there are a few comments with a similarly unsubsantiated quality scattered throughout the text that i also wonder about...like saying that the 3rd project facade is an "instigator of intrigue". i can't quite imagine what that actually means. Is it a good thing that i have been instigated to be intrigued? and how was this intriguination achieved? maybe it really does lead to what you claim, but it sounds like prime-rib archi-babble on the face of it. ;-)
about personal work, it feels to me a bit slim as well. i personally like the squirrel thing just cuz it is so out of place, and i am attracted to things that don't fit in. others may not share my point of view though...also, how this section fits into the whole i am not so sure...maybe it would be better combined with the visual footnotes (a title i am not sure makes any sense to me..cuz a footnote usually refers to something in the body, while these projects are not obviously related to anything else; unless i am wrong?).
still, having said all the above, the work is clearly above average, and nicely assembled. i also agree with the nambypambic that it is likely to be well received. not entirely out of cynicism about the persuasive power of graphic skills. rather just cuz i expect the reviewers will be looking for evidence of ability to think, of ambition, and of just plain ol ability. and it looks like you have all that.
hope you'll let us know which schools you get into. good luck!
Thank you for your feedback. It was as harsh as I had hoped, and in that way as useful as I had hoped. ;) However, there are a few thing I feel I should debate - and this is not to say I dispute your opinion, rather that I would like to understand your reservations further, especially in the context of why I did things the way I did. So, saying that, please don't read the following as refuting anything you said - I'm very grateful for your attention to detail. It's simply me trying to explain myself a bit...
Typography - I accept the problem with the inconsisteny of upper/lower case throughout. However, though you are right in saying that caps is not a typographic standard for full body text I am not applying to a typography school and, as such, felt that the method that was most readable was more important than typographic conventions. Given this was on a black background, bold capitals lent themselves best to consistent readability (because of the possibility for slight ink bleeding). Also, I am not convinced that justification should stay consistent throughout a document of this size. Personally, I feel more comfortable adjusting this to the situation concerning the body of text in each instance. I think that keeping this aspect consistent would have constrained my text placement too much and would have actually made it harder to read given the wide variety of situations that the text was in.
Content - I accept your reservations about archispeak. I do not deny that this was an aspect of my portfolio that I would have liked to have spent more time on, as I'm sure is the case for many others. In terms of 'what I want to say about each project', I feel I could have said more (and with more precision) along these lines. In terms of the example given as pedantic though, I would say that your replacement "straigh line through the space" misses two large points. Firstly, the route through the space is *not* straight - this is the point.. it is a one-way *winding* route - and secondly, "the space" seems to neglect the point that this was an exercise in balancing conservation with intervention. It was a *given* space - not one of my own creation. While a minor semantic point, I feel that the points missed in your version lead to a much more fuzzy description of the scenario and, while I'm not a great admirer of archispeak either, I do think that in a lot of cases what I wrote was simply the most succinct way to describe the project with any precision.
Detention Centre - I agree, this should have been expanded upon as much as in my uni presentation. However, I should point out that the Red Road Housing estate is globally considered notorious as an exercise in poor residential accomodation. They were made to replace the slums of Glasgow (at the time being the tallest tesidential towers in Europe), yet they neglected the importance of communities and shared accountabity/responsibility for public areas. As such, they soon became much worse than the slums they sought to replace. In fact, a film has recently been made on the very subject, set in the Red Road estate, called, not suprisingly, 'Red Road'. It won a Jury Prize at the Cannes Film Festival 2006, should you be interested.
Diagrams - I am sorry to hear that you did not find these to be understandable. I am not sure exactly why though, and I'd like to find out more. For instance, you say "meaning keys are separate from the content they are intended to clarify" - I don't really understand what you mean by this. Could you please clarify? Also - what do you mean when you say some are horizontal and others vertical? One more thing - what are your "*ahem* issues" with diagrams? I'm very curious.
The 'doggy style' - haha. I hope the admissions panel aren't in the same frame of mind when they look at this! In the printed/ hi res version there is a clear prayer mat beneath the person, indicating the praying area. Also, praying hands are not used within Islamic prayer - they are generally just kept flat which is not something that I could model the icon guy to do) - and a lowered head would not allow for easy iconography (the head would need to be cropped behind the arms).
Visual footnotes - Firstly, I felt that this could be a good place to potentially leave admissions jurors wanting more - hence the snippets. Also, the work was entitled "highlights of work not shown" rather than simply "work not shown" - in that sense I feel the point was made clearly enough, though perhaps not entirely semantically correct. Perhaps "highlights of additional work not expanded upon" would have been more appropriate, but I feel this would be a bit long winded.
Professional - I agree that I should make my own contributions more explicit - this will be fixed for any further prints. However, I don't feel the key required the reader to refer back to it. It seemed as simple as possible to me - red if it was not mine, yellow if a team effort, no label if individual. Think of it as an almost traffic-light progression.
Also, all the big images in the professional section (with the one exception of the big ZH image) *were* ones that I had worked on, either individually or as part of a team. Each was also further labelled to distinguish one from the other.
Personal section - I really like your suggestions here, thanks. I think you're right - it would seem a lot more consistent if the personal projects were given a bit more info and the others a bit more space to breathe. This is certainly something that I'll try for further versions.
PS. The reason the page numbers are out of sync is that they begin after the contents page - they don't include things like the front cover etc.
Jump - I don't have time to give you such a detailed response as well right now, but you made many excellent suggestions and observations... Thanks, you 've been a great help!
Re: type - I agree that sometimes it's good to have a bit of variation. However the only time it seems to really make sense within the document is when there is something on 2 sides of a page, and you are labeling one on the left with left justification, and one on the right with right justification, and also with the large, more decorative titles where the typography gets playful in an artistic manner. I think the whole document could work with fully justified text (which would solve the need to choose left or right in those situations, and would "center" itself except for last lines of a paragraph, etc.) - except for those titles because those look good and it's appropriate to make that variation. Justification stays consistent throughout entire 500 page books, so why not within a 70pg folio.
In that one example, I do understand what you mean about it not being a winding route.. so I agree, "straight line" would've been a wrong choice instead of "mono-directional." That occurred to me after I posted. But, couldn't "one way" work?
That particular example stood out to me because it set off my language radar [Intuitively, for some reason, "uni-directional" would work better... not sure why...>> Hold on, I just looked up the etymology.. mono- is of greek origin, whereas directional and uni- are from latin, so that's why the combination didn't seem right. Hello, language dork.]
With the Detention Center, as someone who has never heard of the site before, it was surprising to hear of a detention center located in a council house situation. That seems pretty extreme! The current description assumes everyone on the admission committee will know the site, and that might be a fair assumption. But if someone doesn't know it, it's surprising. What you wrote to me above would serve as a good, brief assessment of the situation. "The Red Road Housing estate is globally considered notorious as an exercise in poor residential accomodation. They were made to replace the slums of Glasgow, but they soon became much worse than the slums they sought to replace because they neglected the importance of communities and failed to take responsibility for public areas. There is a detention center in the housing estate because..."
Diagrams - I'm not expecting explanations for all of these things, these are just questions that occurred to me while looking! I'm sure you have a reason for doing what you did. BUT the problem is that the reasoning is not always clear to a viewer just by looking at the chart. For example:
I don't understand the first one on page 4.
1-24... of what?
What does red dot mean, white dot, gray dot?
I can see that some things are more random/chaotic, there is some integration between the red and the white, whereas there is also segregation sometimes. But, I really don't know what is happening.
What I mean by the meaning keys being separate from the content is, for example, page 8. The color coded blocks on the top right in #2 are meant to clarify #4. However, on the page, it is about as far as possible from #4, with the #3 diagram of the people in the middle.
I also don't understand what #1 is - is it an elevation of the building? Then what are the bars in #4, are they another elevation from a different side? Or are they arbitrary shapes? If you are just showing that each program has these things happening in it, do they need to remain stacked in their respective orders (why can't all the pink areas align with each other since they are color coded to mean the same thing, then they would be visually aligned together and could be indexed, thereby eliminating the need for diagram #4 if you use color coded people icons instead of square blocks of color, see below.)
It just seems like a some, or maybe even most, of this information could be collapsed into one big chart or more simple charts. For example in diagram #4, you could:
--get rid of the little people under the rectangular blocks
--instead of having red squares, gray squares, etc., you put the little people doing their actions into the long rectangular blocks, in the appropriate color.
--So instead of "semi-privacy" having a white block with a red block in it and pictures of people underneath, it is a white block with red pictures of people inside of the white blocks. Geez this is hard to explain without SHOWING it.
Aaaaannnyway - the point is, it's taking me a lot of work to figure out what is going on with this data, whereas with a diagram I should be able to take one look and immediately gain a basic understanding of what it means. (That is my "issue" with diagrams, that's all!) Then, after putting in the effort - I learn, essentially, that people play ping pong in the recreation area, work in the office, and pray in the mosque, and they need toilets everywhere.
Visual Footnotes - well, yes, I did want to see more, so your tactic is successful. But why do you want to do that to people instead of showing them more? It almost seems like a tactic one would use to lump together some work of lower quality into one big category, just to have more work in the folio. But then when you look, the work isn't of lower quality, it looks really good! I'm curious as to why you chose to do that.
Professional - yes the key is simple, but it only appears once, and it's away from the content. I totally missed it on the first quick look-through and then was wondering "Huh, why are there SPOTS on all these photos?" Then I had to go back and find the key.
I believe in making these sorts of documents especially instant-impact rather than super detail oriented. Some people are going to pore over some portfolios, but many of them are going to get a first-glance, first-impression treatment. Also, you can't guarantee that anyone is going to look at it in a linear fashion - I jumped to the middle of your pro section, for example, so I missed the answer key. By making things reaaaaaally obvious right away, and putting everything --right there-- it doesn't matter about a viewer's starting point or engagement level with your work.
What I forgot to say in last comment was - for all these comments, it's pretty much small details in the end. You HAVE a strong portfolio. So if you haven't paid for prints yet and you felt like making any changes and they aren't going to stress you out or eat up your time, go ahead, but otherwise don't worry about it!
Cheers, that was very useful indeed. I feel that I understand your points a lot better now.
To cut a long story short, I agree with all of your points. Yes, they are subtle things, but it's these details that can make the distinction between a successful reading and not, so thanks again for your time and help.
Most of your questions seemed rhetorical, so I'll just answer the one that looked like it wasn't... In terms of the Visual footnotes, there were a few reasons why I tried to show glimpses of additional work of similar quality:
-time: in order to include these projects in their entirety would have taken a lot more re-working time on the material
-space: the portfolio's pretty long as it is. I think this way I get maximum efficiency - hopefully triggering a desire to know more from a relatively small page count
-wanting to know more - With their focus on process, the other projects don't really leave much to the imagination. Here I hoped to do the old 'if you want to see more, you know what you have to do' trick to the admissions jury. ;)
- also, I just felt that 3 academic projects is not all that much. This way I'm able to show, if briefly, the kind of mix of projects that are under my belt.
...and finally - thanks for your closing words. I was getting a little worried that these details were glaringly obvious to the point that the portfolio majorly suffered.
Higherness - I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on this one and assume you haven't thought about how annoying that would be.
As I specifically said at the start, there is professional work in there which I don't want to make public. I'm willing to let a few people see it in order to get feedback, but I know who these people are because they emailed me.
Because of the sheer number of replies I've had, I've had to stop giving the url out. Though I would rather that wasn't the case, everyone has been extremely understanding in my right to the privacy of my own (and others') work. I do hope you can do the same as them because, frankly, I don't think anyone on here would be callous enough to start distributing someone else's work without their consent.
Chch, I've sent two emails to take look at yours. but you don't give me a chance. it looks you select and give benefit to only few people.
I don't think it is not fair. What makes you think some people are acceptable or not.
lullaby - I'm sorry you got that impression. Since I posted this topic I've had 90+ emails requesting a look at my portfolio. As I said, I was just looking for (and only expected) a few people to offer their opinions. I decided I should stop sending the url to people as I risked showing the professional work to too many people - and that is not my right to do.
I have replied to everybody explaning this, though I did get a few emails which were obviously made from archinect accounts with old emails addresses as my replies did not get through. I'm sorry if yours was one of them and I've left you a bit miffed.
I'm sorry - I really haven't been selective about who gets to see it and who doesn't. I'm pretty new to this site, so I have nothing to base judgement on. I've been keeping to a simple first-come, first-served basis.
Again, I apologise if this seems selfish of me. That really wasn't my intention. I was looking for no more than a few people to volunteer their opinions on my work. I never thought I would have to limit distribution.
A portfolio should be an accurate representation of your own work, and the question of disclosure of the work of others really shouldn't be an issue.
I respect your privacy, but I must say that getting a rejection email from someone who has agreed to advertise his work on the internet is offensive. If feedback from trusted sources was what you were looking for, perhaps you should have sought it from your circle of professional acquaintances or personal friends. Otherwise, you are just wasting everybody's time. I understand that you are simply rethinking the decision to post this in the first place, and that of course your response isn't intentional or personal, but keep in mind that some of the interested people writing to you may be your future classmates, collaborators, or teachers...
-The disclosure of the work is an issue because I had worked on projects that were not public and produced work that, while my own, is owned under intellectual property rights by my employers.
-I'm sorry if you consider it offensive - and I apologise if I in any way hurt your feelings - but I'm not sure I understand where your frustration comes from. The email I sent to you was polite and thankful. I explained in very clear terms that I had stopped emailing the URL because of concerns over the distibution of professional work which is not copyrighted to me. Again, I was very sure to thank each and every person who went to the effort of emailing me.
This seems to have been a snowballing problem - as far as I could tell from previous threads, somebody who posted their portfolio got 3 or 4 replies. With this one asking that people email me, I did not expect more than a couple of replies. However, I was lucky enough to get some nice reviews and from there it seems that more people have been interested in seeing the portfolio. I'm sorry that I have had to restrict the distribution of my portfolio, but I'll take this opportunity now to say that I won't be sending any more portfolio urls out. To anyone who wanted to see it but can't - I'm sorry and I hope you are not offended by this.
^^Whoaa, listen to yourself! I think Chch's reservation is totally understandable and Chch doesn't have to do anything. Chch probably doesn't know how many how popular the site is and wasn't expecting so many responses, and got overwhelmed! Even if I were close personal friends with all responders, I don't even know what I would do with 90 people's feedback and suggestions. That would make my brains explode :)
Chch isn't wasting anyone's time, or at least not much of it - it took, what, 30 sec to write a request to see the pdf, and another 30 to read the "sorry I'm not sending it out anymore" email. If you read through the whole thread regarding a portfolio you can't see and have no idea what the commentary is talking about.. well... no one else made you do that. Plus, there are some suggestions by various people scattered throughout that are general to portfolio design and you don't need to see the referred document to be helped by them.
Now Chch, I don't think you should necessarily worry about showing the professional work. I *think* firms understand that this stuff is going to end up in interns'/employees' portfolios and they would probably tell you if you couldn't include this information, right? I understand why you wouldn't want people to know who *you* are or make your portfolio a public document, though.
Care to comment on my portfolio?
I'd really appreciate it if some any of you guys would look at my portfolio and tell me what you think.
Unfortunately, I can't post the url up here because it contains some private professional work that I'm not 100% sure about making freely available, but if you are interested, just drop me an email by clicking on my name and I'll send the url to you right away. Please don't let this prevent you from giving it a look.
I have applied to the gsd only so far (UK deadlines are much later it seems)
Thanks
As with others' in the past, to view it correctly, you need to set the pdf to
View > Page Layout > Continuous - Facing
well.. there goes my portfolio, back to the drawing board for me.
One of the best portfolios i've seen in quite some time. The design wasn't distracting or taking away from the work.. which was awesome. Very nice professional work, especially from the second firm.
I'm torn on the personal work, however. It seems a little too thrown in, or unnecessary. I was impressed with the start of the portfolio, but the two illustrations were kind of distracting. But quite nice overall!
GSD deadline is over, right?
since it's over. I will just tell you what I think of your portfolio,
not that I found anything to improve your portfolio.
I am preparing for portfolio as well. if schools I am applying don't have page restrictions (UIUC has 25 pages restriction, in particular), maybe I would've used many diagrams, and enlarged images, as you did.
71 pages seem alot.
however, I have class mates who applied to GSD, having over 50 pages.
and He told me that he talked to the person who got into GSD, and that person had over 50 pages, with bunch of diagrams.
so I am not that concerned about # of pages.
man... you had internships at some famous firms!!!
The projects you were involved, are damn good.
I think it will be hard for GSD reviewers to overlook the projects you were involved. However, I feel that your professioal works overshadow your academic works, because your professional works are outstanding.
let us know if you hear any news from GSD
Good luck
Thanks Danny - for the compliment and the criticism. :)
I know what you mean about the personal work. I think the continuity of the portfolio as a whole did suffer there. It was only recently I noticed the shift from black to white background too - I can't help but think that gave it a feeling of being tacked on, like you say.
The whole reason I put that work in there though was because I heard on here that some admissions panels like to see a bit of 'you' in the portfolio - something away from just architecture. I guess in that sense, the transition to the personal work was always going to be a bit jarring, but I'll try to improve it.
Thanks again!
S.Park - I take your point about the professional work overshadowing the uni work, but really there was no other way to arrange it. I feel I had to make the best of my experience in the portfolio, as well as put across my own design skills.
You have to remember - the internships were always as part of a team...the academic work is all my own. I think on this level the admissions people will probably learn more about *me* perse from the uni projects than from the professional work
Thanks, though - some very constructive comments!
very nice Chch
one thing is it might be a little long for some schools, though i dont know how it works in the UK
i know that for the couple places i applied, if it was over 20-30 pages, they kind of lost interest
that said, i think it looks great, and dont know what i would suggest cutting
i dont think you should really, since it is such a diverse selection, having professional and personal
that probably makes it acceptable to be that long
one other thing, i dont know if it was my computer acting up
but were some pages toward the end on white backgrounds?
why did you deviate from the black background?
that seemed a little odd, but i could be nit picking
good luck!
Chch, very good portfolio overall, but I do have to agree with some of the items previously touched on.
First off, it does seem quite lengthy. You do have some great work in there, and it all seems relevant, but I think by narrowing it down just a bit further, the portfolio could become that much stronger.
Also, it does seem quite diagram-heavy. The one diagram I thought worked very well, however, was the one you used in the table of contents.
I also noticed a shift between a predominately black page to a predominately white page, which may hinder the portfolio from reading as one united work.
You worked on some great projects at some great firms, and I think that may be the highlight of your portfolio. Some of your personal work doesn't seem to fit in, though. Not all of it, however. You may want to be more selective in that category to assure that all included work remains relevant.
On a final note, how can I score some internships like that!?!
Thanks marmkid and chili -
About the length -
As I say, it only went to the gsd where there was no page restrictions (as long as it was under 2" thick!). I felt with the double-page title spreads etc that it was perhaps not as long as the numbers would suggest. But I do think you're right - it needs that final trim to bring it down again. I think it's just a matter of reaching a balance.
The backgrounds -
Yeah, the backgrounds do shift to white at the end. This is something that I feel was a mistake. Originally, I just felt it was more suitable for presenting illustrations etc., but with the crazy rush for the deadline (you know how it is) I overlooked the consistency of the whole. I'll be changing this for future printing.
Internships -
There was no trick involved, I just wrote a letter to the firms in question. From there it went to interviews and then finally the job. I think luck played a big part.
I'm somewhat of a pessimist. and a realist. so send me the link and i'll omit all the compliments and give it to you straight no chaser.
cheers
m
did you get to know them close enough to ask them for recommendation letters? or you've never seen them at all?
I am curious
S.Park - I'm not sure I understand your question, but I did get letters of recommendation from the latter two firms. I really should chase up the first one though (the last in the portolio, as it's reverse chronilogical)
...but they were standard letters of recommendation, not ones sent to the gsd or anything. The gsd required at least 2 out of the 3 to be academic recommendations
Chch-
A very nice portfolio. The simple graphic layout makes it easy to read and very cohesive. It is quite long and in depth, but I think that's fine because you put an emphasis on process and diagrams. I would definitely agree with the others about your personal section. I think you should continue with the black background and possibly just stick to your photography (black and white possibly). Very nice work!
really nice work chch. you have a great variety of project types which shows a nice cross section of your abilities. personally, i'm not a huge fan of black backgrounds because i don't think they print especially well, and i would watch out on the switching background colors...it's a little distracting at times. how are you binding this?
my only other comment would be relevancy of all images. it is nice to have many of them in there, but when people look at your portfolio they most likely aren't going to have time to study the diagrams, etc, also many images seem to be repetitive.
for future portfolios, or if you decide to condense...see if you can focus on just picking out the most important images...after all you are only showing 7 projects...and i don't think your pictures have to be quite so large. hitting an appropriate page length is important...people might start to loose interest if you don't keep things to the point.
i like!
I think what S.Park meant was did you actually know the person who was recommending you well. Generally you want a letter that is personal and addresses who you are and your work ethic. Its obvious when someone writes about you and knows you as a person as opposed to a generic milk and toast letter that could be about anyone.
admiller - thanks for the feedback - I like your suggestion about the black bg with b/w photos. I think that could look much better. Even just a little desaturation would help them fit in to the overall look. Cheers.
Justavisual - I feel your pain about the black bg, believe me. I had a nightmare getting it printed but finally found somewhere that makes the black look really nice. But yes - I had to go through about 4 other print shops before I found that quality. I bound it with wire-o (I think that's what you call it - like spiral but lots of parrallel wires)
Also, an important point that I haven't made is that the portfolio is only 7"x9". At this scale, I think the big images can get away without feeling so big and the number of pages feels a little more understandable. Hopefully. :)
haha sorry, didn't realize it was small!!
cpnorris - that was the case for the GSD rec, but not so much for the others.
Unfortunately, they are quite attached to their as-good-as-useless anonymous letters of recommendation. :) I do intend to fix this for at least one of the firms though.
I think your portfolio is really good. I am also not a fan of black backgrounds, mostly because it is really over done and "architecty", but it still works and looks nice. I pretty much agree with what everyone else has said and the only comment I will add is that in your professional experience you have worked on some pretty huge projects, yet you never say exactly what your contribution was. I think this is pretty dangerous, esp. since you worked at each of these firms for only a few months. I would suggest saying something like "My contributions to this project were...." because as it is now I have no idea what you did. For example, you have the CCTV tower in there, which is one of the biggest projects in the world and you typed its program and when OMA won the competition but never say what you did on that project or why its in your portfolio. You just need to be careful when putting someone elses work in your portfolio. Other than that everything looks great.
cpnorris - for that you should refer to the key at the beginning of the Professional section. That explains the labels that denote which work I did, which was as part of a team, and which wasn't mine. Of course, I couldn't include everything I worked on, nor could I explain the project well enough using only things I worked on, so I thought this was the best balance.
I do agree, though - I could do with some explicit statements of my total contribution. That is something I'll look to add in later versions. Cheers. :)
Now I see the key. That definitely helps, though I still think a brief description would be even stronger cause if you leave a recommender with any questions as to what you actually did I think it will just make you look bad or dishonest. I hope I am not coming off as an asshole here, just trying to give some good critism. All in all I think its a very nice package and I'm sure you will get into a great school. Good luck!
Very Nice stuff Chch, Some comments:
-GREAT index.
-The first project is intense and full of great ideas. It takes a hard look to actually see what is going on, you may need to make a diagram larger or maybe you could reintroduce color into the diagram/section in page 8. Keep all your diagrams you may just want to make sure that some speak louder than others.
-The second project is great for all the moments of intensity you created and the many renderings reinforce that idea. Would you consider adding people, furniture, etc... to bring in that intensity into the representation?
-The third project is great and very easy to understand in a quick look.
-I like the visual stimuli
-As cpnorris said you may want to explain your role in the professional experience side of things. Congratulations on all those internships by the way. The three firms (and all the projects) are wildly different and it would be interesting to see what you thought of working at these three places.
- I personally would eliminate pages 60-71. They don't really say anything you havent already said and they feel a bit forced.
I didnt notice the key either, you may want to be more explicit on what you did. I think that you may not want to seem like you are floating from starchitect to starchitect (although I am sure that it doenst hurt;). Maybe creating an academic narrative for your experiences i.e. what did you learn from doing each project.
Great stuff!!
q
cpnorris - not at all - I don't think you're being an asshole. You make a good point - I should always prepare for the worst. I hope it is clear that deception was never my intention, but I agree - I should be more explicit in describing my exact role.
+q - thanks for some great comments and suggestions. I happen to agree with all your points, especailly populating the second project.
In terms of communicating what I learned from the experiences - I agree, I don't want to look like I'm aimlessly going for brand names in the profession. That was not my intention or my experience, but I have seen some people react that way when they see my CV.
To sum up my general aims of wanting to work at those firms, I wanted to enhance my awareness of and abilities in: form, programme, and sustainability, respectively (and also experience of a smaller, more procedural firm at the one that is in the contents page but isn't covered).
And, while I would have loved to explain what I learned from these firms, this was one place in the portfolio where I felt that leaving the admissions panel wanting more might be appropriate - though that could go either way it seems.
I think most of my criticisms would be covered by the comments here. I think the size is nice; personally I dig the smaller portfolios, and you've done a good job balancing the image sizes to amount of content you include.
I think +q has, perhaps, the comment I would ask you to consider. The one thing I think is missing from your portfolio is a sense of direction - that you are deliberately pursing some agenda in your work, that you see, upon reflection, a thread that ties your interests together. Beyond just general ideas of form or programme, is there something that you have found pushing your work? If so, I'd like to see that come through, so when I look at your portfolio, I get a better sense of you.
I think the image with the most personality is that second illustration you did; It is a great image, but know that it stands out - so consider if that is what you want people to think of when they think of you...I love it, but it may not be what you want someone to walk away from your portfolio remember...
Regradless, it is really good. And I think I'll go off and weep...your portfolio kicks my portfolio's ass...
uhhh....ignore my spelling errors...sorry :)
Chch,
just sent you an email requeting the url.
thanks!
I also sent one too, thanks also~!
Okay, here's my take, for what it's worth...
-First project, extremely good, I love the diagrams (p.4, 5, 8, 11 stand out), the project takes a little time to understand but I think it defeinitely rouses interest....Although I would have appreciated a overall view of how the whole thing reads as a building when put together, as opposed to piecing together the snippets of information in my head? As a result I can only imagine the result from the axonometrics on p.10, leaves me wanting more....One money shot can't hurt. I also agree with +q, the spread on p.7-8 needs a little color to give it focus.
-I like the BW renderings, very good sense of spatial qualities...And I second the comment about populating the space, or alternatively showing how the spaces are used (by use of diagrams, or user trajectories) rather than the textual description...maybe by overlaying usage patterns on the plans on p.16, 18? Or if you prefer to keep your small plans clean and neat, use the exploded axonometric on 17 to convey more information....the collages on 19 work great.
-Interesting 3rd proposal, simple and neat. I personally would turn the large renders on page 25-26 to BW though, it fits your overall tone much better that way, all your spreads are mainly BW with a little color here and there. Or maybe just highlight elements you think critical. Just a thought.
-The professional stuff, I would recommend you highlight your role and contributions, as opposed to a general description of a project most everyone knows by sight. For example, CCTV, I'm sure everyone on the juries know about it, but what were your contributions? Must have been a great learning experience though, i'm sure they'll take that into account.
-Personal, p.61-62 I would edit out, the render is great but we can already tell that you have l33t render skillz from your academic work. =) And 62 really stands out, not necessarily in a bad way, but I'm not sure how people would interpret this, either really good or really bad. At least I got a question mark in my head. The photography is fine, and I happen to think photography works better on a white background, so maybe add some unifying elements to make it seem more of a whole?
On an offside, why are you applying for MArch I ? I'd say you have good enough skills for MArch II, is it personal preference? Or is it because your under program is a 4-year?
You have a way with diagrams, must be the OMA influence =)
And which schools in Europe are you applying to? I'm also applying to both sides of the Atlantic, but still not sure where I really want to go.
BTW I have afriend studying in Edinburg right now, hear it's a lovely city. I also know a senior graduate of my school who works at Zaha, small world huh. Good luck and let us know where you get in!
I'll send you a link to mine.
Balagan - thanks for the great feedback.
-I agree on all the points you made about the projects. I really like the idea of desaturating the third project, too - thanks.
-The professional stuff I think I've touched on above - I'll be adding more detailed accounts of my contributions.
-Personal - Something which you have made me realise is that I didn't describe the chrysler image well enough. It's not actually a render - it's a 2D vector done entirely in Illustrator. I really should have made this clear, so thanks for pointing it out.
The 2nd illustration was put in for a bit of diversification. I'm still not sure whether to cut it out or not. If it is left in though, it'll definitely be reduced to give it less impact. Like you say, it stands out too much right now.
Thanks for the MArch II comment! Unfortunately, yes, my undergrad was a 4yr MA(Hons) course, so MArch I is the only possible next step as far as I know. I think I'll be applying to Bartlett and TU Delft with a few others I'm sure.
What year's your friend in? Is he doing undergrad or March?
Be sure to send me yours (and let me know the name of the Zaha guy too!).
Thanks!
Great work...
Love: diagrams and sketches. Excellent balance of super clean graphic diagrams and sketches. Very rare, too.
Depth: you clearly demonstrate there is a depth to your process, not just one liners (don't matter if that's the case, but it looks that way). This will be huge for the reviewing folk.
Page 19: nice balance of rendering and diagram/photo collage. Looks old school and new school. I like the transition to Page 20, it's very successful in its simplicity and actually got me to read it!
Thought: I'd really love to see all projects conclude with an image that stands out as much as Page 19. It really made me go back and look at more of the project.
Thought2: I think you could shorten/condese this a lot. In a book form it probably won't be a huge deal, but there's a lot of blank space. I'd think 3 pages per project is plenty (general thought, that may not always work).
Thought3: I agree with some of the other comments about the professional work. I'd significantly edit it. You don't need fluff - you've got the names and put a few details about what you worked on, but skip the rest.
This is your show, make it yours alone.
Very solid work and presentation.
trace - thanks, that was a really helpful review. Your final point about making it my own show particularly struck a chord. Thanks. :)
pg 16 - nice collage!!!
The typography is inconsistent throughout. Sometimes, the blocks of text are aligned to the left. sometimes they're aligned to the right, sometimes they're centered, and in at least one instance they wrap to the images on the page (pg 28). Mostly it's all caps (standard typographic no-no for paragraph length body text!), but there are a few instances when it's done in upper/lowercase, and there doesn't seem to be a conceptual or info-design justification for all of the variations. You aren't a graphic designer so don't worry about insane nitpicking and beautiful kerning, but finding one consistent format would clean it up.
Contentwise, a lot of the language in the body text is overly pedantic and awkward. For example the phrase "mono-directional route through the given space" instead of "straight line through the space." Archispeak attacks! What do you really want to say about each project?
I was surprised to see a "detention centre" or prison function as part 1 of 3 of the program and feel this requires some explanation because that language carries a lot of weight. Other than labeling the site "notorious" there is none - why would a housing estate require this? Is it a criminal detention, or immigrant detention? It might be explained in a sentence or even just by adding one word in to what you have.
Throughout the portfolio, the diagrams are unclear. I know many people have praised them, but remember that praise is coming from a bunch of architects, not information designers :) (I wonder what rationalist would have to say on the topic...) Personally, I found them to be more decorative than informational - maybe they are informative but I wasn't successfully informed by them, if that makes sense. Especially in the housing complex, the meaning keys are separate from the content they are intended to clarify, and some related information is oriented vertically while other information is oriented horizontally. Overall, the information design seems too complex for the amount of data that is to be conveyed. HOWEVER - you are sending this to admissions committees made up of a bunch of architects, so maybe they will also like them; plus I don't want to sound too much like I am projecting my own *ahem* issues too much.
As far as iconography, the one that I assume is meant to be a person praying in the Muslim style looks more like "doggystyle"... oops... maybe the person needs the addition of praying hands and the head lowered down prayerfully a little bit. Or else I am just a perv. Ha.
That "visual footnotes" ghetto in the end of your academic section could be expanded, while you contract the professional section where your input was not as the head of each projects. Even though you don't describe them, those photos of each project look pretty awesome. Maybe they deserve a little more attention? They're subtitled "work not shown," but actually, you are showing them, because if they weren't shown then they wouldn't be there.
On your Professional section, I agree with other people that it would be better from an info design standpoint to clarify your contributions & to credit other contributors explicitly on a per-project basis rather than having an isolated key at the beginning. It's not userfriendly to make people refer back to that. I know you are trying to emphasize important images for the whole project by making them large, but you could emphasize your personal contribution by blowing up images of the things you worked on by yourself or in teams, while making others' work & renderings thumbnail sized or simply leaving them out. Maybe it's possible to streamline to focus not on the whole building/process, but on your contribution. The images designated as being your work could be blown up for some sweet eye candy, and a visual break from all of the very densely informative pages. Yes the projects and the names are outstanding, but you are applying to school, not the starchitects. Since you probably can't claim a ton of conceptual input, it's more a case of showing off your work experience and ability to take on real world rendering/modeling/teamwork than to develop design ideas.
Personal section - I think that, if you have it, there should be more work in here, and more in-depth project briefs and explanations. It's rather disproportionately austere in comparison to the very detailed rest of your portfolio. An upside to this is that from a design standpoint I rather prefer the space/breathing room in this section as compared to the rest of the layouts. I know you have a lot of information to convey in the portfolio, but perhaps a few image-and-caption-only "breather" spreads, one per project or something, could help cohere the whole portfolio and then this section wouldn't stick out so much. But if that is too much of a pain in the arse because your pagination is not automatic... don't sweat it too much! It's easier to just add or take away stuff off the back :)
Finally, I couldn't tell from the PDF but I read up the thread that it's a smaller size. I really like that scale for books, so good decision!
ooop, the nice collage on pg 16 is actually pg 13 of your folio, though it shows up as 16 on my PDF viewer!
^good stuff nambyface. I'll be hitting you up for just such a review this time next year...
i had pretty much the same response as nambypambics.
the work is very good, the presentation nice, and the diagrams (without considering content, for reasons echoing namby's above) quite impressive.
won't talk about professional work, cuz main points are covered above quite well...
regarding your academic work, i found myself too often looking for an image where each project came together, and was a bit frustrated that i had to do the work of synthesising it all on my own in most instances. the projects in that sense are presented sort of episodically within themselves. which is nice for the details (which are generally quite good), less happy-making when trying to get a quick understanding.
the first project also left me feeling that the research and diagrams were self-serving, apparently leading you to a conclusion that was unavoidable, but on inspection were more convincing as a personal thing that you just wanted to do. the cultural assumptions wrapped around the call to prayer (which you seem to have changed to a lightbox, rather than a call?) for muslims, and the inclusion of a detention centre, among other things, are also kind of baffling for me, as pointed out by m. namby above. what exactly is going on? and why? like naby i am not sure what the images are exactly supposed to be communicating.
the third project is more appealling to me, maybe cuz easier to understand than anything else. don't know if desaturating is the answer, but perhaps adding people to the image in p 26 will help. otherwise quite ok...as i am into architecture as urbanism, the idea that the building expands to become integrated more with the city is interesting for me personally, and you show it diagramatically well enough...but oddly without any indication of the site. how large is the site? can you expand the building indefinitely? and how does the expansion actually lead to integration with public life? is it just cuz people have to walk around the new obstruction in the sidewalk sort of thing?
there are a few comments with a similarly unsubsantiated quality scattered throughout the text that i also wonder about...like saying that the 3rd project facade is an "instigator of intrigue". i can't quite imagine what that actually means. Is it a good thing that i have been instigated to be intrigued? and how was this intriguination achieved? maybe it really does lead to what you claim, but it sounds like prime-rib archi-babble on the face of it. ;-)
about personal work, it feels to me a bit slim as well. i personally like the squirrel thing just cuz it is so out of place, and i am attracted to things that don't fit in. others may not share my point of view though...also, how this section fits into the whole i am not so sure...maybe it would be better combined with the visual footnotes (a title i am not sure makes any sense to me..cuz a footnote usually refers to something in the body, while these projects are not obviously related to anything else; unless i am wrong?).
still, having said all the above, the work is clearly above average, and nicely assembled. i also agree with the nambypambic that it is likely to be well received. not entirely out of cynicism about the persuasive power of graphic skills. rather just cuz i expect the reviewers will be looking for evidence of ability to think, of ambition, and of just plain ol ability. and it looks like you have all that.
hope you'll let us know which schools you get into. good luck!
namby -
Thank you for your feedback. It was as harsh as I had hoped, and in that way as useful as I had hoped. ;) However, there are a few thing I feel I should debate - and this is not to say I dispute your opinion, rather that I would like to understand your reservations further, especially in the context of why I did things the way I did. So, saying that, please don't read the following as refuting anything you said - I'm very grateful for your attention to detail. It's simply me trying to explain myself a bit...
Typography - I accept the problem with the inconsisteny of upper/lower case throughout. However, though you are right in saying that caps is not a typographic standard for full body text I am not applying to a typography school and, as such, felt that the method that was most readable was more important than typographic conventions. Given this was on a black background, bold capitals lent themselves best to consistent readability (because of the possibility for slight ink bleeding). Also, I am not convinced that justification should stay consistent throughout a document of this size. Personally, I feel more comfortable adjusting this to the situation concerning the body of text in each instance. I think that keeping this aspect consistent would have constrained my text placement too much and would have actually made it harder to read given the wide variety of situations that the text was in.
Content - I accept your reservations about archispeak. I do not deny that this was an aspect of my portfolio that I would have liked to have spent more time on, as I'm sure is the case for many others. In terms of 'what I want to say about each project', I feel I could have said more (and with more precision) along these lines. In terms of the example given as pedantic though, I would say that your replacement "straigh line through the space" misses two large points. Firstly, the route through the space is *not* straight - this is the point.. it is a one-way *winding* route - and secondly, "the space" seems to neglect the point that this was an exercise in balancing conservation with intervention. It was a *given* space - not one of my own creation. While a minor semantic point, I feel that the points missed in your version lead to a much more fuzzy description of the scenario and, while I'm not a great admirer of archispeak either, I do think that in a lot of cases what I wrote was simply the most succinct way to describe the project with any precision.
Detention Centre - I agree, this should have been expanded upon as much as in my uni presentation. However, I should point out that the Red Road Housing estate is globally considered notorious as an exercise in poor residential accomodation. They were made to replace the slums of Glasgow (at the time being the tallest tesidential towers in Europe), yet they neglected the importance of communities and shared accountabity/responsibility for public areas. As such, they soon became much worse than the slums they sought to replace. In fact, a film has recently been made on the very subject, set in the Red Road estate, called, not suprisingly, 'Red Road'. It won a Jury Prize at the Cannes Film Festival 2006, should you be interested.
Diagrams - I am sorry to hear that you did not find these to be understandable. I am not sure exactly why though, and I'd like to find out more. For instance, you say "meaning keys are separate from the content they are intended to clarify" - I don't really understand what you mean by this. Could you please clarify? Also - what do you mean when you say some are horizontal and others vertical? One more thing - what are your "*ahem* issues" with diagrams? I'm very curious.
The 'doggy style' - haha. I hope the admissions panel aren't in the same frame of mind when they look at this! In the printed/ hi res version there is a clear prayer mat beneath the person, indicating the praying area. Also, praying hands are not used within Islamic prayer - they are generally just kept flat which is not something that I could model the icon guy to do) - and a lowered head would not allow for easy iconography (the head would need to be cropped behind the arms).
Visual footnotes - Firstly, I felt that this could be a good place to potentially leave admissions jurors wanting more - hence the snippets. Also, the work was entitled "highlights of work not shown" rather than simply "work not shown" - in that sense I feel the point was made clearly enough, though perhaps not entirely semantically correct. Perhaps "highlights of additional work not expanded upon" would have been more appropriate, but I feel this would be a bit long winded.
Professional - I agree that I should make my own contributions more explicit - this will be fixed for any further prints. However, I don't feel the key required the reader to refer back to it. It seemed as simple as possible to me - red if it was not mine, yellow if a team effort, no label if individual. Think of it as an almost traffic-light progression.
Also, all the big images in the professional section (with the one exception of the big ZH image) *were* ones that I had worked on, either individually or as part of a team. Each was also further labelled to distinguish one from the other.
Personal section - I really like your suggestions here, thanks. I think you're right - it would seem a lot more consistent if the personal projects were given a bit more info and the others a bit more space to breathe. This is certainly something that I'll try for further versions.
PS. The reason the page numbers are out of sync is that they begin after the contents page - they don't include things like the front cover etc.
Jump - I don't have time to give you such a detailed response as well right now, but you made many excellent suggestions and observations... Thanks, you 've been a great help!
Apologies for the length of ths message.
oof - War and Peace anyone? :/
Chch, I sent you an email with my address. Did you get it?...
nevermind, I got it.
Hey..
Re: type - I agree that sometimes it's good to have a bit of variation. However the only time it seems to really make sense within the document is when there is something on 2 sides of a page, and you are labeling one on the left with left justification, and one on the right with right justification, and also with the large, more decorative titles where the typography gets playful in an artistic manner. I think the whole document could work with fully justified text (which would solve the need to choose left or right in those situations, and would "center" itself except for last lines of a paragraph, etc.) - except for those titles because those look good and it's appropriate to make that variation. Justification stays consistent throughout entire 500 page books, so why not within a 70pg folio.
In that one example, I do understand what you mean about it not being a winding route.. so I agree, "straight line" would've been a wrong choice instead of "mono-directional." That occurred to me after I posted. But, couldn't "one way" work?
That particular example stood out to me because it set off my language radar [Intuitively, for some reason, "uni-directional" would work better... not sure why...>> Hold on, I just looked up the etymology.. mono- is of greek origin, whereas directional and uni- are from latin, so that's why the combination didn't seem right. Hello, language dork.]
With the Detention Center, as someone who has never heard of the site before, it was surprising to hear of a detention center located in a council house situation. That seems pretty extreme! The current description assumes everyone on the admission committee will know the site, and that might be a fair assumption. But if someone doesn't know it, it's surprising. What you wrote to me above would serve as a good, brief assessment of the situation.
"The Red Road Housing estate is globally considered notorious as an exercise in poor residential accomodation. They were made to replace the slums of Glasgow, but they soon became much worse than the slums they sought to replace because they neglected the importance of communities and failed to take responsibility for public areas. There is a detention center in the housing estate because..."
Diagrams - I'm not expecting explanations for all of these things, these are just questions that occurred to me while looking! I'm sure you have a reason for doing what you did. BUT the problem is that the reasoning is not always clear to a viewer just by looking at the chart. For example:
I don't understand the first one on page 4.
1-24... of what?
What does red dot mean, white dot, gray dot?
I can see that some things are more random/chaotic, there is some integration between the red and the white, whereas there is also segregation sometimes. But, I really don't know what is happening.
What I mean by the meaning keys being separate from the content is, for example, page 8. The color coded blocks on the top right in #2 are meant to clarify #4. However, on the page, it is about as far as possible from #4, with the #3 diagram of the people in the middle.
I also don't understand what #1 is - is it an elevation of the building? Then what are the bars in #4, are they another elevation from a different side? Or are they arbitrary shapes? If you are just showing that each program has these things happening in it, do they need to remain stacked in their respective orders (why can't all the pink areas align with each other since they are color coded to mean the same thing, then they would be visually aligned together and could be indexed, thereby eliminating the need for diagram #4 if you use color coded people icons instead of square blocks of color, see below.)
It just seems like a some, or maybe even most, of this information could be collapsed into one big chart or more simple charts. For example in diagram #4, you could:
--get rid of the little people under the rectangular blocks
--instead of having red squares, gray squares, etc., you put the little people doing their actions into the long rectangular blocks, in the appropriate color.
--So instead of "semi-privacy" having a white block with a red block in it and pictures of people underneath, it is a white block with red pictures of people inside of the white blocks. Geez this is hard to explain without SHOWING it.
Aaaaannnyway - the point is, it's taking me a lot of work to figure out what is going on with this data, whereas with a diagram I should be able to take one look and immediately gain a basic understanding of what it means. (That is my "issue" with diagrams, that's all!) Then, after putting in the effort - I learn, essentially, that people play ping pong in the recreation area, work in the office, and pray in the mosque, and they need toilets everywhere.
Visual Footnotes - well, yes, I did want to see more, so your tactic is successful. But why do you want to do that to people instead of showing them more? It almost seems like a tactic one would use to lump together some work of lower quality into one big category, just to have more work in the folio. But then when you look, the work isn't of lower quality, it looks really good! I'm curious as to why you chose to do that.
Professional - yes the key is simple, but it only appears once, and it's away from the content. I totally missed it on the first quick look-through and then was wondering "Huh, why are there SPOTS on all these photos?" Then I had to go back and find the key.
I believe in making these sorts of documents especially instant-impact rather than super detail oriented. Some people are going to pore over some portfolios, but many of them are going to get a first-glance, first-impression treatment. Also, you can't guarantee that anyone is going to look at it in a linear fashion - I jumped to the middle of your pro section, for example, so I missed the answer key. By making things reaaaaaally obvious right away, and putting everything --right there-- it doesn't matter about a viewer's starting point or engagement level with your work.
What I forgot to say in last comment was - for all these comments, it's pretty much small details in the end. You HAVE a strong portfolio. So if you haven't paid for prints yet and you felt like making any changes and they aren't going to stress you out or eat up your time, go ahead, but otherwise don't worry about it!
/Anna Karenina
namby -
Cheers, that was very useful indeed. I feel that I understand your points a lot better now.
To cut a long story short, I agree with all of your points. Yes, they are subtle things, but it's these details that can make the distinction between a successful reading and not, so thanks again for your time and help.
Most of your questions seemed rhetorical, so I'll just answer the one that looked like it wasn't... In terms of the Visual footnotes, there were a few reasons why I tried to show glimpses of additional work of similar quality:
-time: in order to include these projects in their entirety would have taken a lot more re-working time on the material
-space: the portfolio's pretty long as it is. I think this way I get maximum efficiency - hopefully triggering a desire to know more from a relatively small page count
-wanting to know more - With their focus on process, the other projects don't really leave much to the imagination. Here I hoped to do the old 'if you want to see more, you know what you have to do' trick to the admissions jury. ;)
- also, I just felt that 3 academic projects is not all that much. This way I'm able to show, if briefly, the kind of mix of projects that are under my belt.
...and finally - thanks for your closing words. I was getting a little worried that these details were glaringly obvious to the point that the portfolio majorly suffered.
You've been super-helpful, thanks!
If only someone would upload it publicly?
Higherness - I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on this one and assume you haven't thought about how annoying that would be.
As I specifically said at the start, there is professional work in there which I don't want to make public. I'm willing to let a few people see it in order to get feedback, but I know who these people are because they emailed me.
Because of the sheer number of replies I've had, I've had to stop giving the url out. Though I would rather that wasn't the case, everyone has been extremely understanding in my right to the privacy of my own (and others') work. I do hope you can do the same as them because, frankly, I don't think anyone on here would be callous enough to start distributing someone else's work without their consent.
Chch, I've sent two emails to take look at yours. but you don't give me a chance. it looks you select and give benefit to only few people.
I don't think it is not fair. What makes you think some people are acceptable or not.
lullaby - I'm sorry you got that impression. Since I posted this topic I've had 90+ emails requesting a look at my portfolio. As I said, I was just looking for (and only expected) a few people to offer their opinions. I decided I should stop sending the url to people as I risked showing the professional work to too many people - and that is not my right to do.
I have replied to everybody explaning this, though I did get a few emails which were obviously made from archinect accounts with old emails addresses as my replies did not get through. I'm sorry if yours was one of them and I've left you a bit miffed.
I'm sorry - I really haven't been selective about who gets to see it and who doesn't. I'm pretty new to this site, so I have nothing to base judgement on. I've been keeping to a simple first-come, first-served basis.
Again, I apologise if this seems selfish of me. That really wasn't my intention. I was looking for no more than a few people to volunteer their opinions on my work. I never thought I would have to limit distribution.
A portfolio should be an accurate representation of your own work, and the question of disclosure of the work of others really shouldn't be an issue.
I respect your privacy, but I must say that getting a rejection email from someone who has agreed to advertise his work on the internet is offensive. If feedback from trusted sources was what you were looking for, perhaps you should have sought it from your circle of professional acquaintances or personal friends. Otherwise, you are just wasting everybody's time. I understand that you are simply rethinking the decision to post this in the first place, and that of course your response isn't intentional or personal, but keep in mind that some of the interested people writing to you may be your future classmates, collaborators, or teachers...
StevenA -
-The disclosure of the work is an issue because I had worked on projects that were not public and produced work that, while my own, is owned under intellectual property rights by my employers.
-I'm sorry if you consider it offensive - and I apologise if I in any way hurt your feelings - but I'm not sure I understand where your frustration comes from. The email I sent to you was polite and thankful. I explained in very clear terms that I had stopped emailing the URL because of concerns over the distibution of professional work which is not copyrighted to me. Again, I was very sure to thank each and every person who went to the effort of emailing me.
This seems to have been a snowballing problem - as far as I could tell from previous threads, somebody who posted their portfolio got 3 or 4 replies. With this one asking that people email me, I did not expect more than a couple of replies. However, I was lucky enough to get some nice reviews and from there it seems that more people have been interested in seeing the portfolio. I'm sorry that I have had to restrict the distribution of my portfolio, but I'll take this opportunity now to say that I won't be sending any more portfolio urls out. To anyone who wanted to see it but can't - I'm sorry and I hope you are not offended by this.
^^Whoaa, listen to yourself! I think Chch's reservation is totally understandable and Chch doesn't have to do anything. Chch probably doesn't know how many how popular the site is and wasn't expecting so many responses, and got overwhelmed! Even if I were close personal friends with all responders, I don't even know what I would do with 90 people's feedback and suggestions. That would make my brains explode :)
Chch isn't wasting anyone's time, or at least not much of it - it took, what, 30 sec to write a request to see the pdf, and another 30 to read the "sorry I'm not sending it out anymore" email. If you read through the whole thread regarding a portfolio you can't see and have no idea what the commentary is talking about.. well... no one else made you do that. Plus, there are some suggestions by various people scattered throughout that are general to portfolio design and you don't need to see the referred document to be helped by them.
Now Chch, I don't think you should necessarily worry about showing the professional work. I *think* firms understand that this stuff is going to end up in interns'/employees' portfolios and they would probably tell you if you couldn't include this information, right? I understand why you wouldn't want people to know who *you* are or make your portfolio a public document, though.
ps that was directed to sevenA
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