I LOVE THIS TOPIC

Best email forward ever. Sorry meant to post this above but I got so excited I jumped the gun.

jas, you're on MySpace, aren't you?

oh there are so many of these and all so painfully funny.

painfully funny because chuck norris gives you a roundhouse to the head if you don't laugh.

he also gives you, as reward, a roundhouse to the head if you do laugh.

... and here is the TOP 100.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

And out from hiding comes Pixelwhore...

How's the new locale?

chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, to bad he has never cried.

chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he needs.

New locale is great, still settling in and whatnot.
Students are on vacation this week so I have some downtime to revisit the old stompin' grounds of archinect.

Cool. Are you teaching? In school? Confused about the student thing.

these are just plugs from www.chucknorrisfacts.com which i already posted

yes i am....WonderK

The "crop circles" one was my addition to the shenanigans. God I'm even laughing right now about it.....

Another gem:

"Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs."

It just doesn't get old.

i once caught my girlfriend cheating on me with chuck norris... it was the most beautiful thing i had ever seen

oh wait maybe i didn't. but i have still known about that site for two whole months.

Dear Friends,

It seems to me that you have confused Chuck Norris with Jesus. If you replace all those instances when you say Chuck Norris with Jesus instead and then end those statements with an alacritic "Jesus loves us all" - then I think you would find the exercise of this thread to be much more personally uplifting...in a nourishing and loving way.

With Love!

eb

Chuck Norris ate Jesus and then shit out the bible.

Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn’t jesuss birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus’ birthday

Chuck Norris met jesus once, god called the cops.

Chuck Norris was the 4th wiseman, I brought Jesus the gift of beard, he wore it ’till his death. The other wisemen jealous, decided to omit me from the bible, they all died of Roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Jesus. Chuck Norris -is- Jesus.

Chuck Norris has yet to get a Jeopardy question wrong. Jesus has missed two.

Jesus can walk on water, but with a simple roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

when God said “let there be light” Chuck Norris said “say please.”

He the one and only Chuck Norris eats Chinese Fortune Cookies for strength. And the fortunes become deadly small projectiles out of either end.

Dear Friends,

Chuck Norris loves you! See, isn't it easy once you have accepted the glorious love of Chuck Norris into your life?

With Love!

eb

did anyone watch the Chuck Norris cartoon in the 80's called Karate Kommandos.... it was sweet!!! animated Norris kicking animated ninja butt

"Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO."

note: Chuck Norris' birthday is on Friday.. my studio is throwing a birthday party in honor of what should be a national holiday... black headband wraps for all!!!

Oh my god! It really is his birthday:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001569/

I think this sums it up http://gorillamask.net/conanwalker4.shtml

most hysterical thing Ive ever seen..... here here for the 66 year old!!

Did David Hasselhoff really help end the Cold War?

"Baywatch star David Hasselhoff is griping that his role in reuniting East and West Germany has been overlooked. So what part, if any, did the hunk in trunks play in ending the Cold War?" bbc

Of course I did.

one of my favorites:

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

lol .... ^^

but i cant believe that we have a thread on "chuck norris" !!

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

have you seen the chuck norris lever on conan?

priceless...

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

I have been struggling not to let the dark forces at work consume my soul lately. I recently added a "Chuck Norris Fact Generator" to my Google home page and have found that it brightens my spirit during the day considerably. Observe:


-Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.

chuck norris' chest is so hairy, it substitutes as a brillo pad

as a continuance of the Poker-face up above ^^

Chuck Norris once won UNO with two cards.

this was my personal fav:

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

We've got an ongoing argument in our studio over who would win in a battle between Sean Connery and Chuck Norris. Any thoughts?

Chuck Norris _SUCKS

Jet Li Kicks--ASS....

sean dis da man besides he as all the James Bond women...at is disposal.

chuck works as a diswasher in a bad mexican restaurant and chows down left over beans and than farts the whole night shift.
but sonofabitch lifts everything with one hand...

chuck norris fires his gun but head butts the target before the bullet arrives.hehe, hehe.

chuck norris is an architect who designs buildings with his ass. hehe, hehe.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

chuck norris and james bond go to a bar.
chuck orders himself a martini and orders milk for the 'boy.'

this guy asks chuck norris, "what time is it chuck norris?" chuck norris says "doesn't matter because i'm gonna kill you in a minute"".

chuck gave vindpust a roundhouse kick to the back of the face and kicked his ass off archinect for good.

if chuck norris lays his hand on vindpust i am gonna stick the architect's scale into his ass and turn 1/4 " until it reads 3/32" = 1'-0"

some of my favorites

http://www.brandonbird.com/chuck.html


http://www.brandonbird.com/chuck.html

oops....

http://www.brandonbird.com/woolynorris.html