marc. i like maple in my cheese and in beer it aint all that bad.

Can a mother fucker get an Architecture Sucks t-shirt on this bitches back?

This comes up as the longest post, could it be Balkins?

(Past) 
Have you forgotten? They asked the elder king. He just laughed, as they were not yet old enough to speak his language. Knowing not what they had begun, the King offered a warning. “You will not heed my words, but know now, what you seek will bring much pain, yet end with glorious tears of happiness. Your vulnerability, will be temptation in carnet, and will show the light to a troubled race, who will fall into its confine. The journey, that you will soon choose, will not be an easy one. I will share in your struggle, with patience. In between your cries, reason will be waiting, until you notice its absence. If you should run out of time, it is just a drill, so press rewind. If that is stolen, the seed is already planted, you will rise above it, and you will have achieved your goal. “ 
(Present) 
Some say, that in the silence, reason resides, and with the voice of truth, the sound shall fill the quiet spaces. Reason, could only then hear their calls, and return home for all to live in harmony. Showing them, once again, that in deed, although oblivious to it, they had already been reaping what they had sown, and it was not the by the kings’ order, but they, were the ones that had sentenced themselves. If they were to maintain a memory, they must first learn how important it is to never forget, and the consequences that could follow. Sadly, being told the answer they sought would not be enough to satisfy their curiosity. Thus they set out on their journey of understanding. Forgetting who they were all together, they were contaminated by those who sought power, and only after the return of reason would they realize. It was for their own good, by their own hands, and worth every memory secured. In good hands, they were. 
(Future) 
Only now could they see that, their king always had been what they wished he would become, and that his love for all the people, had been true to the legends all along. “While without memory, they were exempt for this selfless act.” He had never swayed, knowing his people would also, one day, return to him, as reason would return to them at the end of their sacrifice. This will open the eye of their soul and settle their weary hearts. “You asked me not to intervene”. The king said, “I understood, and wept down storms in your honor. The time that they had spent in doubt, would teach them the most important lesson of all, family.)What you saw, in confusion as punishment, you will see, through reason, as reward. 
(Spark) 
Now, “Will thou show the, what ye hath learned”? 
I was led to think, that there was always a logical explanation to everything, but leering in the back of my mind, when I was young, there was a voice whispering to me, that logic had nothing to do with it, and the truth, will in deed set us free. I thought it was God speaking, and if you can make it through this difficult read, you might agree, it has been the best, ironic, mistake that I could have made. 
As a child, I was different in the eyes of everyone around me, although I could not see the difference myself. I looked, but I spoke the same, had the same interests and the mirror had a reflection. Not claiming to be a vampire, just saying, that I had a reflection just the same as the rest. The question, “what makes me different? IMO might hit everyone at some point in their life. I realize now, that most think of it to gain individuality, but for me it came in 4th or 5th grade, having quite a different result. I only have one clear image that I can recall from that time, and when I revisit that stage in my life, that picture brings back all of the feelings that I felt then, all at once. 
This brings me to my first reason behind posting this, as there are many and will come in no particular order, especially in regards to importance. Which I do believe this thread is full of. If at the end you disagree, I will ask you to adjust your intention while reading this, because you must have missed mine. 
1) How does your memory work for you? In other words, I would like your feedback on the steps that your brain takes when you recall a memory, for a comparison experiment to that of my own. 
See, the way I recall my memories has always bothered me. It seems to only make sense, that if someone wished to recall a memory they would think back and try to remember an event, retracing their steps like a video. I remember a picture, a still image, and to me, feelings only come from knowing why you felt them in the first place. I mean the whole picture could only reform the actual emotions that I felt, because it was a process to get to those emotions. Without a video version as confirmation, my worry is that the feeling could have been replaced, we would never know the difference, and thus our history could be in constant manipulation. Basically, my curiosities led me to this, but I do not know if there is anything really viable about it, and another reason I share this with you today. 
Why is it only a still image, and why cant I recall a video version, instead of in a data format sparked from an image alone? Would that of been too many man hours, too expensive, not enough memory space, or for logics’ sake, my brain does not work that way because that is just the way it is? “That is just the way it is!” Give me a break. I am no longer that naive. Are you? 
I want to recall a memory = I sign on to a search engine. 
I summarize what I want to recall = I type my request into the search bar. 
I try to locate the exact memory = I surf through the websites looking for the best match. 
I find an image that reminds me of the whole story = I find what I was looking for, click it, and all the info I could ever need on it is right there. 
If I eat something other than what my body can use I get sick or die = If my computer gets a virus put inside it will show errors and may crash.
My computer can be rebuilt to be even better than before. Can the same happen to me? Are the similarities, that my brain process and the method of a computer have in common, just a coincidence or is there something else behind it. I remembered that back in the day, to join the infamous illuminati, it was said that if you could follow the signs that were hidden everywhere in plain sight, then you were already one of them. It only makes sense to me that the same concept would be applied in many different places. It is really the only way to communicate in secret. If you could place signs everywhere but only your kind could figure it out, then your secret would always be safe. It only makes sense, that someone somewhere might have adopted that idea. The pure mathematics of our patterns, result in a very high probability of it already being true many times over. The illuminati might be bad, might be good, but it seems that the majority of people today see them as bad, which makes them so. It might not have been so cut and dry back then but look at them now, drenched in conspiracy. If history repeats itself, it is easy to come to the conclusion that there would be a secret organization out there with an inevitable evil plot, even if it seems to be good at first. To add to this, for every evil that comes to exist, something good will be born for the single reason to defeat it. This is the way of this world, and balance will lead the way. 
The computers’ reincarnation, instant response time for information retrieval, and a network to communicate or travel with one another, are the only differences that I really see between a PC and me. I would like to mention that I am not so sure that “the trinity” of those three things, hold to truth, yet I would be crazy to question it in our society, would I not? Good job, to those that orchestrated the diversions, because you have gotten very good at your job, almost perfect even, ever since the first time “it was for our own good” entered into your good ideas category inside of your head. Have you ever thought that we were not so different; the “sheep” never had a Sheppard, but just the wolf using you to convince the rest that they were safe. The wolf is a pack hunter and when food is caught, will only share the rewards with their own. You sit there, willing to go right along with it, knowing deep inside that something is not sitting well but at you would be no help if you were just another slave, right? Sound familiar? The funny thing, is that you can not be sure, can you? It is our innocence that allows us to be manipulated and to me, the only one that would do the manipulating would be those that do not have innocence. Our race is innocent! Get it? No matter the excuse, the truth does not need to hide. So I thought that if I wanted to hide the truth the best way would be to divert everyone away from the truth, hide myself just in case it came out, and choose pawns to take the blame by doing the dirty work. I would just hang some bait and watch you go. They are not smarter than you. They just do not share the same compassion that we all have been known to display, and are in desperate need of something, that when motivated correctly, you could give to them. How else would they get you to agree, unless you thought that you were too dumb to achieve what they were offering in return? Have you ever thought that they started with you and we came afterwards? If they could make us give up our free will, then they could just as easily make you feel less intelligent, to come to your fabricated rescue. Temptation is difficult. I get that, but when mixed with the desperate desire to have something that will enable you to save your kind; you would not really have a choice would you? Part of this was specifically written to, well, you know who you are, the whole group of you. It is not your fault and it is never too late, and our limits are not what you have been led to believe. 
Read on if you would like and I will relay the rest of the message. If you thought about leaving then I must be getting through and they are trying to divert your attention. Be strong. They want us to stay still, because we are easy to control in a vulnerable stage, and what they promise, we already have. They fear us, because they know what they did, and what would happen if it were undone. Imagine an entire race with the ability of what they have promised you, without the involvement of death, a full awareness of what it means, and soooooo much more at our finger tips. To have it all for yourselves, kind of reminds you of something else does it not? If so, where do you think that desire is really coming from? Those who seek power for themselves only, are not known for their generosity. Do you know what I am saying? No worries though. You are better than that, and if it was not for the “point” of tech difference, our “big brother”, as they would have us believe, would not be able to put us at such a high risk. Who do you think will gain favor, the power hungry or the meek? The meek shall inherit the earth, or maybe it was the wise. Remember our history, for it repeats. They will regret it and we will forgive them. It will probably take a little longer for them to forgive themselves, but we will show them what they missed along the way, while they were in such a hurry.
I am getting off track here, but I just wanted to politely ask all of you to please think on the process you take inside your head, and reply with the steps you take. It will really help me figure out whom or what I am because I can not really answer that question with truth in my heart and I hope it is not too much to ask. I remind myself too much of a computer, not saying that I am or even that I am not, but the way they are ran has made me skeptical that my free will might not be as free as I was taught to believe. 
I am saying that I do not really know, how I work would fit in with what I am told a human is supposed to be like. Sure I know what I was told to think, but after years of reading stories like the ones here on ATS, and the signs everywhere, I just can not get myself to trust a word anyone has ever said to me. There is the slight chance that I might choose to believe the one wrong thing, and I might have been manipulated to do that as well in order to have me fall deeper into the web. I may think that it was what I wanted to do but if I could program my computer to crack passwords, hack codes, and be completely dedicated to the like, my fear lies in the fact that I could wipe that computer of just the right programs to make it think its main objective is all of a sudden, the opposite, and erase all traces of what it did before. How many similarities do I have with a computer? Are there similarities because it took a computer program to hack inside of my mind to remotely control it and I am noticing glitches from the rushed job of the install? Did I zone out, or did someone walk right up to me, point a gun in my face, take me to a lab, and wipe that experience from my memory, into just a feeling of zoning out? Do the others, that I may have been with at the time, not notice anything because they are told there is nothing to notice, or the same thing happened to them at the same time? I have felt like my memories have been blocked from me. I can get them right on the tip of my tongue, but for the life of me I can not access it, until I either remember it or lose it completely, and have to look it up on the net. I am not usually the victor in these battles, and that scares me a lot, because if I forgot, was it really my fault, or is there a chance that, what I was trying to remember was against the rules? Or would it lead me to something someone did not want me to see, so they blocked it? I do not know about anything at all anymore, because a huge red flag comes up to me everywhere I look. Not that those things were not there before but that now, I force myself to think about it. In a way I guess it is a type of antivirus program I might have found, if in fact what I fear has any truth to it. Simple, and slow but at least in the right direction, unless that is what they want me to think. 
Listen, I am on the verge of something huge that everyone could duplicate, and the reason it really was over looked was because we complicated it all up, when it was really one of the simplest concepts to see. A power so great, that it is confusing how I can keep it inside without having a breakdown, from just knowing that it is there but just out of reach. Do you have any idea of what I am talking about? I am talking God power and nothing bad about it. If anything, our God would be proud of his children finally growing up, into what he had hoped for all along. 
For me it started very young, I am thinking like seven but might be off by a few years in the plus. I do not remember 100% exactly but the majority of this memory still is the back bone of why I am on this path. I remember playing with my little brother. The two of us were running all over the house, and my brother was chasing me to be exact. I felt like we were running a fast as the wind until we began running around the dining room table. It was an old looking table with sharp corners. I am sure you kinda see where this is going next. My brother tripped and fell. His forehead was severely impaled by one of the corners. I got so terrified because my father was a drunk at the time, and my dumb ass thought he might blame me and I would really get the worst beating of my life, and I had some pretty bad episodes. (Off topic - Ever have your father feel so bad about how much he hurt you that he even felt bad and tried to make up for that one time he went too far.) Instead of going to get mommy or daddy to help my little brother, I ran and hid under my bed, leaving him there bleeding on the floor. I do not remember how long it took for my father to find my brother but it felt like an eternity before I heard the screams of dad calling my name. I did not respond at first, unsure of his intention of what he would do to me when I got there. I cried the whole time until I finally had the thought that I might lose my brother, so I went downstairs to face my dad and get his wrath over with so I could help my brother. I saw blood everywhere leading into the kitchen where my dad had carried my brother over to the counter to try and stop the bleeding. While I was upstairs I heard him call my mother as she worked a block away from our home, telling her to come home, because my brother was hurt bad. I have almost but completely blocked out all the memories of what my brother looked like but the ones I can recall are stained into my head and terrifying. A few moments after my mother came running through the door they left taking my brother with them, but before they did, my mother gave me a final look like “ How could you”, like I might of did it on purpose. At that moment I was not family anymore and that never fully changed. I could always feel hatred from them but they never would admit to it. All I remember of after they left, I was thinking that I killed my brother. I see myself on my knees in my parents’ bedroom by the window facing outside with a never ending string of tears rolling down my face. I prayed, and I prayed, and I prayed to god. No, it was more like begged and begged god to save my brother and take me instead. I swore to him that I would do anything for my brother to be okay. I continued on that way for hours and hours and hours and hours and the light of day turned into the darkness of night. It seemed like days had went by but it was still dark when I heard the front door forcing me to open my eyes. My heart sunk into my stomach so hard that I could not seem to fight gravity until I heard my name called a few times. There was not enough happiness or sadness in the voice to determine what I would see when I went downstairs. Slowly I began to head down only to see my brother acting like nothing had happened. He had a few stitches in his forehead but so small that it seemed like it happened months as it looked almost completely healed. I understand that it could have been a smaller gash than it seemed originally and that my brother could have been mostly hysterical from the blood but I was so convinced that I killed my brother and God had answered my prayer. I became very close to God speaking to him often. The problem was that he talked back. See I was under the impression that God had answered me so what else would I think the new voice inside my head was. My father had always repeated the same line to me over and over because he felt I did not get it, which he was right about. He would always say think before you act, think. At the time I did not realize we had an inner monologue. Inside my head at the time was based on feelings and not words. Inside I was happy, sad, shy, angry, curious etc… There are a million feeling to feel and that kept me satisfied enough I guess, to not explore it more. The first time I did was in prayer and when I did a miracle happened. It did not matter if it was real or not because to that kid there was no other option. I thought it was a direct line to God and with a little creative imagination I guess what I thought God would say, I said, and since I did not know any better and was afraid of my family I kept it to myself. I did what God told me that he wanted me to do, and I did not hear the term conscience until later on while in catholic school, so you can image that this went on for at least too long. In a way it was a good experience because it made me aware of a higher good and that people need an example to follow. So that is what I did. I used my direct connection secret to help guide Gods children to know what choice is right and what was wrong. It showed me that there were a lot of people out there that just needed an example so they could figure it out on their own. 
This brings me to another question. 
#2) Can you remember a traumatic experience that shook you to the core, which aided in a life change for you? And can you remember a time where it seemed like so much time had passed but when you look it has not been that long at all and you are just left with a feeling of daydreaming or zoning out? Again I am trying to figure out whom or what I am so if you do not care to help then I am possibly wasting your time but still maybe not. I honestly would not be offended if you clicked out and picked up where you left off in your journey. If you stayed, thank you and it would help if you had the time to tell me a little about your experiences in these two areas. My confusion about whom or what I am is driven from the fact that I really do care about what happens to all of you. Sappy but true, and I could not help it at this point even if I tried, not that some of you would even be able to believe that can exist anymore. Some very strange things, thoughts, ideas, and analyzed results have left me unsure and searching for answers. It has left me with two options. Either I am not like you, I would like to unlock my full potential, and I agree that you deserve to know, that I exist here willing to help, or I am like you and you have no idea the level of power that is inside of each of you. A quandary I aim to solve, and also rectify the toll it is taken from not knowing the truth 
I am very hesitant to post this thread because for a long time I have felt watched even in the damn bathroom and even though I have worked on controlling my thoughts, my end game might still be revealed and because those that do the watching would not be too happy about it and might give me an itch I do not feel like having to scratch again. I never really went searching for cameras but I have been known to look through the vent holes in the heating and air-conditioning returns/outputs. (Lol) Yup paranoia sucks but even though I tell myself that the chances of that are so slim, I ca not seem to shake the return of the same feeling that I am under surveillance”? (Ignore it right, that is what we are taught to do with the unexplainable feelings or things that we see). The main reason that I do not go ripping through the walls is because it does not feel like it is an outside device that is making it possible but somehow my eyes are displaying what I see, my mouth speaks to figure out what I am looking at for both parties involved, and my thoughts reveal how I will react and we begin our dance. I know it sounds crazy but I was hoping that at least here some would give me the benefit of the doubt and offer any insight or at least other perspectives on why I might not be crazy. It sounds full of ego but I am not unintelligent and far from it. Where I sit in comparison to others I have no clue but I can hold my own, and I say I am not writing these things because the chemicals in my head mixed together or turned green . I am writing this because I have obsessed over these types of things for many years now. I never jump to a conclusion. I evaluate a many side of the coin as I can to come up with the right questions that need to be asked in order to get a result that best fits the truth. I would like to point out that if I am right then none of these conspiracies will make any difference because even though there would be nothing to fear from us, we would be the ones that were feared to threaten, and no longer the other way around. We would not be as fragile and vulnerable as we think, but I will get into that later in this thread. Intrigued? I was, and hopefully, I have taken out most of the leg work, as it seems many believe that we are nearing some sort of cataclysmic event, and with all of this proof to read I am afraid that this time it might be right. I agree not only because I have spent countless hours watching and reading the research you all have done but I feel the same feeling that you felt when you began your digging. I am not saying that anything I have come across is 100% the true force that we all learned to fear and search for to get ready for it when it arrived. I applaud your commitments that you all have made toward uncovering the truth but could it be possible that some would rather us scour the world in search of what it is that we fear to keep us from focusing on if we even need to fear anything in the first place. I mean even as I write this I feel like I am fighting something to get the words right so my story matches what I am trying to say without getting lost in translation. It feels like what they do is send me an idea that something else might better fit what I am trying to say and while I am busy thinking about it, I am just busy enough to leave what was really important to say unprotected for them to try and take it away. Well, this is me fighting back. 
I am jumping ahead here and there are some important parts to the story that id like you to know. After that horrific incident with my brother it seemed as if I should have been called lucky lucianno because everything that I wanted had came to pass and eventually I expected it because I forgot what it was like not to win, or succeed, or get what I wanted. Now I know that sounds bad but when your desires are in your head to assist god what you want is usually for the better even if it means to win you have to lose. Puts a smile on someone and might be the spark they needed to believe in themselves again or some ish along those lines. I never took advantage of it especially because I knew that someone must deserve something like this, and even if I was unworthy I was at least gonna try to get as close as I could. In my opinion that is the perfect mentality to reveal a path that might have been a little foggy before. 
This leads me to my final question. 
#3) If you could think back but things were a little foggy would you keep trying to figure it all out if it seemed like the picture that you were seeing was showing everyones’ dream come true and also would there be anything that could stop you from getting to know the whole story of how it came to pass even if it meant that you might be in immediate danger right after telling everyone what you found? Would it be smart to ask those you are trying to reach which way they would like to hear the truth, and how would you translate this story after you’re finished so that it might reach your audience without further a due. 

Okay so here we go. Are you ready for a little ride? I would like it if you would come. I promise to return you safely “before even you know it”. 
On the outside I put on this front of an everyday normal guy. Not hiding because I think what is inside is bad but because the last time I spoke about any of this publicly my family, friends, and strangers all turned on me in one quick simultaneous motion like I was on the top of their memories’’ most wanted list all at once. Some people that I thought would 100 percent understand turned their back on me as well. Even the girl I am with that I love with all my heart shuts down if I bring any of this up and says she does not know what to say, but she stays in love. I guess I am still lucky. That time in my life was the first experience I had ever had with doubting myself that would lead to a temporary submission. It has been a virus to me and I have felt like it has become my life enemy and convinced that it is not coming from me. My family tricked me into believing they were sending someone to help that had the answers I was seeking. Naïve me, went along with it, and they locked me up, quite violently I would like to add, as if I was a horse that had a spirit they wished to break. There were police, Phsyc people, and ambulance people but the Phsyc people only entered first without announcing who they were. Actually to tell the truth they lied about who they were. I was in a stage of shock from all the unexplainable things that had been happening all around me, but it seemed that everyone knew why but me. It was my fault, because I got pissed off and decided to call a bluff on my mother by creating one of my own, thinking that if her baby was physically going to be in danger that she would be forced to give me the answers that I needed. Cunning woman my mother yet not a trait that I admire in a personality when used to surprise attack your own flesh and blood. Most mothers would agree which is why it confused me even further. I might be a threat if what I am saying has any merit so I am sure they would be all over me before I even felt their presence. With a little more conversation and less brutal force, she might have found out that I would never harm myself, not just because it is wrong to leave others behind but mainly just because I am a wuss, but really she would have been the only person that could have known, so her choice perplexed me more. When provoked correctly I can do things that I explain away with adrenaline and imagination but I can not control it completely so I feel powerless in its uncertainty. Is it that far of a reach to think that words actually do have power? Our history certainly suggests the possibility. If that really is a possibility it paints quite a different picture of why the witch hunts would have taken place when the earliest spoken word would have shown signs already. If we can trace our family trees sometimes all the way back than do not you think they could have as well. They might have stunted our growth to keep themselves in power all the way back when we were first realizing it, and tempted those in power (maybe even set it up before and it did not matter who would be leading at the time). Think about it. Why did Pharaoh think himself a god and had pals that could perform superhuman feats, if not offered godhood and his pals could have some to but not as much as him because he was special. Everyone else went along with it because not only was he speaking using words of creation and not of confusion, but the people were turned into slaves without a choice quite similar to what I am presenting you with in current times. Have you noticed the pyramids, Stonehenge, sphinx, etc…? All things they needed or wanted built for them to enjoy without having to lift a finger. It always took some other form of power to free the people from their chains. Time has passed and new words were introduced into our languages to infuse confusion so that our own power seemed unrealistic, safe, and evil until we pushed it so far away that it was a memory that could be erased into a joke. (Off topic but does anyone know how to find out who created a certain word or did some words just poof out of nowhere one day? Suspicious dont ya think?) These words created walls to better guide the sheep without needing the fear of a god like (a pharaoh) figure here on earth sending his wrath on us if we rebel. These type of words made it so they would not even have to give one being on earth any access to power because it changed it so the power could be given to one being in heaven that we could not see. This was even worse than a pharaoh because at lease we could see pharaoh but now the wrath can come from anywhere and at anytime. To make it worse there are now so many religions that we would not even know which god we were being punished by. So much piled on confusion its kind of funny to me that this has not occurred to me in this entirety before writing this thread especially when it is so hard to believe but we seem to swallow the huge throw up pill with a smile none the less. Lol. Isnt it a nice “coincidence” that when they do decide to come out of hiding to stage their first contact, it will be soon followed by a monotone speech from some dufus looking creature (jk, that was mean but they are way over due for some fun freshman hazing)saying it all seriously and shiz “long ago our ancestors scientists came to this living planet to experiment with duplicating life itself and its result was the first human man and woman that they named the male Adam after being filled with millions of “atoms” and the female eve after the beauty that came with each setting of the sun. Upon completion of their experiments success, theyll say that they left to watch from a distance to ensure our freedom and safety. They would have us believe that the distance was much further than next door in who we thought was Jim and Gina our neighbors who work from home but actually them all along, and to add were probably there to track and report any unusually behavior, and write the program to block the advancements any of whom were in the area that they were to monitor. They would have us believe that they created us in the search of creating the perfect race and that they had become successful, when in actuality they are just lazy and wanted some slaves to do any work that came up for them, since they were soooooo evolved. This will have only one real effect that they have planned prior. It will take the amount of fear and love we have for god away from god and over to them, completing the plan of evolving into Gods. They will have an entire race of people that have power looking to them as our God and they will have us believe that they have achieved that power already, when in fact it would be us that is handing it to them, which is actually our birthright that they have been long trying to steal. I will add and doing a great job of it so far. If I am right the joke will be on them because they would have been actually doing all the work this whole time for us while we got to stay in touch with our inner children playing with each other everyday. We just call it work. They think its keeping us occupied while they try to reach something that was never theirs to have. If I am right then it will only take one out of the billions of us to figure it out once and for all and they will be the perfect example for some of the talents we can expect to accomplish only to surpass them by leap and bounds, solely based on our innocence. You may not believe in a God and they might have just made the story up to support their plan all together but the teaching that is learned through the concept is what they thought to be a joke when in reality it was the one thing they would never be able to understand without genuine patience. No one other being has had this deception for we were thought to be the lowest on the totem pole. Like we would be told to think a clone was. That is why we do not see a million aliens here because of the same reason we do not vacation to a dump. We are slaves and pose no threat or interest plus they have us under control so if they wanted to come then we would not even know about it anyway. So no one other being could have known patience as intimately as we have. Who else could have waited this many hundreds and thousands of years for a messiah that a large portion is still happy to wait for patiently. It is almost a miraculous trait to see the possible, even in the face of terror for hundreds and thousands of years, would not you agree. No one else that is who. That is why we are the only ones worthy to live harmoniously within the same stride as power and thus power would always choose us. We have seen its beauty turned into wrath or so we thought, but either way we still learned from what we saw and they seemed to miss the fact that power is alive and not something to obtain but something to request audience. 
Before all of this thought began to happened, I see now that I was extremely lucky to have the people that I had around me, there because they provided the perfect environment for someone like me to get here today to you. One glitch in the God program was that he needed to remain an outside force unreachable to us humans. If we spoke that god spoke to us, off they take you to fix the “chemical imbalance” you now suffer from. The reason I slipped by was because I kept it to myself after the doctors “cured me” the first time. And the circle continued. Soon we will enjoy a new shape. 
I am going to list a few events and you can do with them what you will but I assure you they did happen. 
All before I was locked into the institution to break my will and before I began finding answers to some of my questions. 
1) My relationship with my family was not the best as I mentioned so I wanted out before I was even 18. 
2) A friend of mine told me about a job he had and offered me a spot on a door to door sales team. 
3) In one years time I mastered it almost getting a yes at every door ending the day with 20-30 sales a day. 
4) At age 17 I led that team leader into a company of his own, and became the GM of his company. 
5) Before I turned 18 I found a landlord of a duplex in a quiet neighborhood willing to sign a lease with a minor. (I was paid very well for my age so he had not much to worry about). 
6) Living away from my family eased much stress by was followed soon by a slight lonely feeling. 
7) A few friends, which I had been working with, came to me with similar family issues and needed a place to stay. Until that apartment became a home to those that needed a place to go. Of course I would not turn them away, plus like I said I could use the company at the time anyway. 
8) They began to look to me for leadership and so I led the best way I knew how. I opened up to them slowly showing them things I have pondered. I posed an experiment an explained the possible risks even eventually to those who originally were non-believers, when truth leaves no room for a neighbor... 
9) I showed them how I learned that sales in just a less intense form of hypnotization and how it could be intensified by demonstrating it to them.
10) In front of their eyes at the age of 18 I showed them the power of words focusing on one volunteer at a time to help the class so to speak. 
11) I showed them that with the right combination of words and correct use of tone of voice you could get someone to do anything that you wanted and make them believe in it with all their heart. 
12) I demonstrated over and over until I felt they were ready for the next step. 
13) I showed them that the reason behind the volunteer being able to be “hypnotized” really had nothing to do with me at all. That I was just helping them calm down enough to trust the words enough to make them real enough to be real to them. The class would watch it become real many times opening them up to the idea that it was the volunteer doing the work all along, and could do it for themselves on themselves if the wished, In the right environment it could lead to pure manifestation, upon complete belief in the words being said, no matter what the words were without the need for effort. 
14) One day my curiosity, in my opinion, took me a too far. I thought to myself if I could make them believe what I wanted them to, then were there any limits and what were they. 
15) I began experimenting with it and it led me to some amazing things, and one very scary thing. 
16) One amazing thing was that I realized that I could have the same effect that I reached when hypnotizing my friends through spoken words even if I did not speak it out loud as long as it was the same way. 
17) I wanted to see if it could create an alternate reality so instead of using one volunteer we did a group exercise, I prepared them, and spoke the words necessary to help them believe, 100 percent, that I was Adam and the girl I was dating was eve. The ones inside were saints and apostles and the rest direct descendents. (Have I gone too far for you or are you still with me, so far?) It was great. To me their characters were spotless and as if the other reality was nothing more then a memory, and able to be wiped away. In no time, the environment began to work for the experiment, instead of for the reality. I began to think of reality again and realized that one person needs to remain slightly in the old reality if we are to ever return. It went deeper into becoming the complete truth, with almost no resemblance to what once was, and then the world froze. Yes I said froze. Everything, everyone, and time, all froze but me. I was still aware and thus still able to move and so I did. I looked around a little and then decided to back out of the experiment on the basis that I did not fully understand why it happened so it is best to think on it before we go any further in. I tried to bring everything back. It was not as easy, but I can not say, it was really that difficult either as well. 
18) One day I was thinking heavily about this in a room, with only one other person with me, and the thought came to me about dying, and if it was a choice, and maybe we all made the same decision eventually to die (which ties into the grand deception in my opinion as well). I thought that if the brain chose to believe it was dead, and the body immediately died, then the brain could also believe that it was immortal, and avoid death altogether. At the time, being a believer that I could only be doing such great things if god allowed me to, I, thinking that this was definitely out of reach for a human to have any rule over, began to test it out silently on the person sitting next to me. At the time I also believed I could do just about anything, and it was only after did I realize that the decision was crewel. I live with that shame and could never ask forgiveness for it, but it does not change the fact that I regret being so quick to take that step, even if I planned on bringing them back. The slightest chance of a mistake and I might have killed them. Even if it was just hypnotization, Ill never forget the day I lost all respect in myself. Keeps me in check, always trying to make good. 
19) Of course, as soon as I finished my sentence they #ing fell to the ground. I immediately regretted my decision and began to try and reverse it. Wouldnt you know it, in the same second I finished my sentence they opened their eyes and got back up, with a look of confusion in their eyes. Even though, filled with regret and remorse, one thing huge was learned from the experiment. We hold the fountain of youth with us at all times, always filled, and just waits, patiently. Now, because of that reality, I found a seriously real, but able to be mended reason behind the phrase “too smart for your own good”, sounds horrible, but I could know nothing else but this one reality and still know too much. I will hush on this one upon request and serious reason, because I would have rather not of figured that one out, because it was pointless since able to be mended, thus just simply wasted time and will waste yours as well. Only the second time around, was it apparent that it was for us to learn the same lesson, that I think we all get by now. If you do not yet get, that you should not take a good thing and throw it away, then please for a moment sit back, and remember every little regret that you have ever had, and I am sure after it piles up you will get the idea, and could do without a repeat, slow motion viewing. So… yeah….. On we go. “Having fun yet?” 
20) My immature decision to proceed with that type of risk gave me a new found respect and fear of it, and so I began searching in other areas for my answers, and temporarily shut that door. 
21) To me, all at the same time, the proof of an eternal soul existed, able to listen past death. The human abilities of evolving into what we deemed the God like power existed within our reach, and I also, now had proof that it is not really that difficult to realize how it is achieved, so something weird was going on, since thousands of years had passed and no one had figured it out. 
22) Here is where I went wrong. (lol) Instead of embracing this I ran from it, out of fear, and aimed my focus on, what, was holding our race back from evolving, instead of how to achieve it. 
23) As I followed this path everything got more difficult and more difficult the closer I got to each answer, the closer the answer got to me, which turned out to be the cause. Wouldnt ya know it?. 
24) When I began to formulate my hypothesis, I felt a responsibility to begin spreading the word about what I was uncloaking. Attack- diversion- attack- diversion-attack-diversion was one of the many patterns I began experiencing. While every one found their favorite conspiracy, or three, I preached it is all because of the same thing, and always has been. 
25) I wanted to show everyone, what affects this was having on us as a whole. Ever since the beginning it was creating so much confusion, that we turned against each other more and more, until some felt they knew the truth, and decided that there was no way that they could have made a mistake. Another came along, and said it was only another diversion that was originally found, when yet another person found a different diversion altogether to prove the next another theory. It is a cloaked game being played, that we call king of the hill. Since they all were convinced that they found the truth, the hearts spoke in a loud voice but the ear did not hear. They were led to the point so they would fight amongst themselves, for the singular reason of, to divide and conquer. “Guys, oldest trick in the book”, I was saying to everyone. So with all on the look out for a fight, coming to you with yet another theory, even if it might just be the true answer, was a high risk for a major back fire. 
26) The nail in my coffin burying me alive was the girl I was dating at the time. She, out of no where took me by the hand, led me to the bathroom in her house, told me to look in the mirror, and said “do you even know that you are God?” Do you #in believe it?!? Yes, that is a crazy question to ask someone while looking in a mirror, and that is doing things quite strange enough to seem god like, and she should have known the risk. 
27) Even though true, as great as that sounds, it, for me, was a curse, and a well placed one at that. So I commend whom ever planted it, because it has taken me many a friggen years to bust that coffin open, and dig myself free again. If time was what you were after, then bravo and well done, because that is all you have gained, and barely, even that. (And whom knows’ to who I speak). Just in time I am seeing, for many lives will be sacrificed in a near quest for evil power, and we need to help as many as we can, before this time in our story comes to pass. “So can we get back to work here?” If you were wondering, I am still digging my way up, and since I now have had my family, friends, and all that looked upon me with wonder and hope, now with their backs turned on me, as if they all were ashamed to have ever had looked upon me with high regard, making it not the easiest trip back up and out. I will get us there in time, even without your graces, because it will come to pass one way or another. Although, it would be kinda nice to have some company of the unafraid, unmoved, willing to believe type of family I once knew, and ready to have some fun. What was once a perfect environment for growth sadly has now been molded into one bent on interference at most of my turns. It was taking me triple the time to achieve goals that it should take, but I can once again see through the fog. I am not at all saying that you intended for this because, well, how could you? I am saying that you are very intricately connected to me right now, are you not? So I am actually saying that, you would not even try. So the chance of what I am saying being real is not the point. The fact is that when we all get it together at once, it can be. 
28) This is about when I got locked in the insane asylum, because in my opinion, I began spreading the news thinking I was the last to figure it out, and proud to be linked with such patient souls, just waiting for the last one to get it right, and that we could turn on, when ever we were ready to go, because that last person was me who we were waiting for, and came with a sorry note included. The response was not what I expected, and before I could show them why it was true, I realized that it was too late to go that route. They had already made up their minds, or were made up for them, even before I got started. If I had to prove it to them, and they changed their tune, it would still be contaminated with doubt, and I would eventually fail them when that doubt returned home. Out of a weak bond I bowed to their will, and went to their, in my opinion laboratory. I only realized much later the significance of the statement, please forgive them for they know not what they do, because they don not. (Nice irony right?) So much confusion, compounded into a more contained witch hunt, led me to the realization that I was not the last one to figure it out, but I was the first, and this was gonna take a while. 
29) I quickly realized that the ones in charge of this facility needed to hear what they wanted to hear, so in order to gain freedom and resume my journey I told them exactly what they wanted to hear. Granted they kept me in there for two long months, heavily medicated/sedated, I, eventually using well calculated actions that, when translated, would become enough proof to them that they had “cured me”, and under their own rules, of which I read the book while I was there, thus could release me legally. Further more, in that book, I realized that another rule that they must follow is that they may only force lock up if the person is in danger of hurting themselves, or others. Even though I would never do either, I did try to bluff my mother into telling me the answers that she admitted knowing how to get but was not being honest with me, so again, it was ultimately my own doing that allowed the manipulated to affect me and temporarily take control of my path. Something I will not be allowing again. Although, there were a few people there that only needed to hear the right words to calm their nerves back down, so it was not totally for nothing. 
30) Every next step I took it seemed as if a program was adapting and went two steps ahead of me chopping me down no matter the height I would reach, getting me every time, right before I could take my first real breath. See, at first I was convinced that I was talking to God and he was responding, then it went, not without a fight as I grew older, to it just being my conscience, to becoming something different all together. The source of the humans’ evolutionary potential, and bam, with that mirrored God statement, it tied everything into one realization that fit every question that I had ever had at once. Fire works junction, next stop inflated ego ass alert. Settle in, the next stop wont coming for awhile but it is gonna be “do not worry, I brought enough for the whole class” county, so be excited. 
31) If it had not been for a very dear, highly intelligent friend, (that sadly also turned away from me), pointing out that ego had no place aside the pure of heart, then I would have never broke that curse of getting stuck on the “I was god” realization. It took a while for me to move to the next step of it is not selfish if there is more than enough to go around. In fact the more the merrier in this case, I would have to say. It was not easy, for the temptation of it was animalistic, and it was not until months after the hospital stay that I began to regain my love for all, and realized that I was unworthy to have such a power all to myself, and also realized then, that if I was not the only one who could do these sort of things, that when embraced would evolve us all, and together we would be more powerful than anything that ever was thought to have existed, because it is still to this day, out of reach for the comprehension of those seeking said power for their own benefit, and not for the chance to deserve it. Like I said, power is alive and also has a choice. Power does not need to be evil because evil comes from fear so hence it is the opposite. Since not one other race has yet to achieve their goal in its entirety, because believe me we would know about it if they did, they think it will be the same if they act as a collective before they achieve it, and by us naming their race our creator would grant each one of them the power of a god. In theory sounds logical, but when in truth they will achieve god hood as a collective, and shall go no further. For a god as a collective, will simply turn them into what we are now. Even at this phase in our evolution, together we have proven to become the creator, and it is said that there shall be only one. The one is actually, the way. There is only one way, and trust me their way is much more violent than ours will be, and they will never change so it is inevitable that we are to be evolved shortly after they announce first contact. Short cuts and laziness would never be rewarded, in my opinion. How about yours? Of course yours matters, it is one of the most important ones. Get it? They think that we are behind them, when a collective mind is actually the first step, and we have been there, and done that. Read our religious books, for they tell of our history when looked at under the right lighting if you get my drift. Individuality comes when the collective reaches godhood, and becomes the creator that was one who gave birth to many. Reminds me of an old story with miracles and one guy who even foretold of our evolution to come, but it has been split into soo many “volumes” now a days that it just does not read the same for those who forgot what happened all those years ago, and now do not even remember that there was something they wanted to remind themselves about. Just in case, they wrote it in a book, and in a way that the ones who wrote it could only see it for what it was when the time came to be reminded, and then let the light clear up the confusion and better present the whole picture. Think about it. I am not wrong. They thought that if all of them were on a collective mind and if given godhood then they could revert back to individuality, maintaining their good hood in single form. They would be god right? So why not? Well I will tell you why not, that was a huge heartless short cut, plus they were trying to manipulate power itself. Do not think power is as easily manipulated as we were, and to think it is susceptible would be a major insult to it, and thus why would it want to embrace you. Power is perfect. It does not have a desire because it does not have a need for one. Trust me when I say that pure power can not be manipulated. One may only request its presence and wait for a response. If it likes you then you will know it. At this point in time, they have dug their own grave and have went to deep to climb out, so writing this for you to read will make no difference in what the result will be, especially when they find out that they have been wasting their time, and that begging for our forgiveness would be time much more well spent in their actual progression. In the big scheme of things they are mere babies, with big brains, throwing a temper tantrum. They will eventually be forced to just calm down, and pick up where they left off. Mark my words please. Either of two things will happen: 1) The day that they plan on claiming their prize of god hood, will be the day that the humans trade places with them, because they will force our race to evolve when the power denies them and embraces us, since we have been actually trying to make reservations as well ahead of them in the evolutionary chain of events, and we have done so with the highest of respect. (maybe not in technology but in spirit we are their elders allowing them to run rampant because, well, they are just gonna tire themselves out, only to realize that they have had no impact in harming, slowing, or confusing us from the get go, because the wise shall inherit the earth or was it the meek. Are you hearing me? I am talking to someone that is me? Then turned into you, and finally became, us. Plus they are the only reason that our technological advances have stayed where they were, or gone where they wanted them to go, when they could have had patience enough to have faith in themselves, and that they were on the right path before they thought they found a loop hole and decided to exploit it, using the so called primitive earthlings, by limiting their technological advancement, controlling our economy, thinking that, technology was their key to god hood in our eyes. They will laugh at it later when they realize technology never really made a difference to a god; it was just a toy, which will be their turn to play with when we are done. 


How is your reality going for you? Well I may have found some options where what you think matters most of all, and is most capable of fulfilling anything, having to do with a dream. 
I am here when you want to step it up, and you had better have come ready to play. I will be waiting patiently for eternity if that is what you need, but no matter the plane of existence this offer shall surface yet again, through any fog, to light your way to the truth. Smile your on camera. 
(All together now and in slow motion) 
They see you when your sleeping, they know when you reawake, they know if you have been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake. SoOOOO you better watch out. You better not cry, you better not pout, I am telling you why. The truth had to be something, profound. 
But you knew that already, Right? 

Breaking headlines in the near future 
“The two hundred and twenty second earth brigade is soon to evolve into the legendary, three hundred and thirty third armada and it no longer can be avoided, so there is no risk involved.” 

Spark = Balkins?

maple.

Chris,

Maple syrup is almost as universal as bacon.

now marc, you are making me mad at myself for not picking up the cheese like i usually do on saturday. bacon. maple. would go well with this Duvel I am having as I watch 1968 on CNN, stacks of book on dining room table waiting....maple bacon?

maple bacon.

Thick cut maple bacon and a book...

That's a good weekend.

i do try for those weekends, but with wife and kids not always achievable. occasionally i get complaints about reading too many books, ha........

Ah, the "real world"

Honestly don’t know which has been worse…bombs or switching to bacon?

Nah, I think bacon, at least I learned something about bombs…waiting for a recommended wine accompaniment, thinking something red might emerge, but this a pretty sophisticated group, people who read books with bacon and all…it could go either way….waiting.

(Decided not to stop)

Vegan meats are where it's at.

Bacon, the guaranteed Balkin Bomb Blocker?

Carrera, I can't help you on wine, but if you think Bacon, this beer will play tricks on your mind (it's smoked meet flavor)

^ Thanks, already too many “tricks” being played on this mind, went with the syrup recommendation instead…some Vermont liquid gold this morning…no shortage of “saps” up there :) 

I made banana/bacon fosters crepes for breakfast this morning after all that's chat. 

B3ta, vegan meats belong in a smoker/sous vide. Sad to say I don't have a source for well crafted stuff.

And a maple latte to start the afternoon...

heading to Asbury Park for St. Pats day parade, the beerhaus there has a great selection........ beta, in my youth I was dating this lady who was about 10 years older than me. she took me to a vegan restaurant, but did not tell me. I kept flipping through the menu, where is the meat? tofu....the fake stuff was bad man, bad.

Great vegan meats and supermarkets. Is that even a match that can be imagined? 

so i guess rick is not feeling better

happy st pats day

Vegan Meats and Cheeses

i am in a park next to a JFK statue in Asbury Park having some good Smithwicks. I am feelin better;) with Irish music blairing as the kids climb trees

here, rye bread, home cooked corn beef, tomatoes and mayonnaise sandwich.

Free!

In the "choice" words of Mike Monteiro...

I always enjoy that video.

guys - I'm burned out.  had to come in over the weekend on this $500 mil international project I'm working on and the principal only bought us lunch and dinner - not breakfast - AND - to make matters worse, I learned we're only flying business class, not first class, to meet with our client.  I CANNOT WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS.

I need a vacation - where should I go - my loft in Paris, or my beach house in Puerto Vallarta?

Only 500M? when you hit 1B come back to us.

is the client hotravi?

did anyone email hotvai?  i'm really curious about his project 

that is some idiot I would want to catch and report, wouldn't be so hard since he is asking for it.

So Drumpf is having people pledging allegiance to him now, in a very particular fashion...

So when are all the kiddies going to get their acceptance or rejection letters?

This is getting ridiculous.

^we need someone to make some quizlet to tell them which school to attend based on favorite color and childhood pets. they are just begging for inane advice from uninformed strangers.

Trump fans are doing the nazi salute? Oh geez. 

Not really. It doesn't look good, but put in context there is nothing regarding the nazi salute going on. Trump asked supporters to raise their hand and pledge that they'll vote for him.

http://www.cnn.com/2016/03/05/politics/donald-trump-florida-pledge-torture/

http://www.snopes.com/donald-trump-nazi-salute/

Looks like Trump supporters are from the short end of the gene pool

I'm flat-out terrified of our country right now. Today is the day, for me, that the Drumpf shit show turned from worrisome but amusing to terrifying.

^ Wouldn’t worry, nobody has been killed….yet. During the McGovern-Nixon era 63 people died during civil rights, black power, and antiwar activism actions during the 60s….not counting 1 assignation of a presidential candidate and MLK….65. It all started with lies about the war and went haywire…but in the end nothing really changed…which is what this epic battle will be all about.

Forgot to add George Wallace, they missed and only paralyzed him.

Here are some Wallace quotes, Trump's got nothing on that guy:

“Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?”

“I've seen many politicians paralyzed in the legs as myself, but I've seen more of them who were paralyzed in the head.”

“I draw the line in the dust and toss the gauntlet before the feet of tyranny, and I say segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever.”

“Look at all the buses now that want exact change, exact change. I figure if I give them exact change, they should take me exactly where I want to go.”

“If any demonstrator ever lays down in front of my car, it'll be the last car he'll ever lay down in front of.”

“After much prayerful consideration, I feel that I must say I have climbed my last political mountain.”

lets be a little positive, after all people alive today are better off than any other generation in history!

I still say with Drumpf as president the one good thing that will come, will be the end of capitalism. It'll be painful, in the short term, but man, people coming together, it's going to be the best.

Shu, positive here, was attempting to put things in perspective. All this stuff is nothing by comparison... as Warren Buffett said recently - regardless, we will continue on and prosper.... You can't  change the direction of a container ship with a BB Gun.