It's kind of funny because most newbies come into the profession thinking they're going to design and end up getting stuck pushing paper and doing mundane details and would probably kill to be in your position. At least you recognize and appreciate that.

It sounds like there are two issues here...the first is feeling overwhelmed by having new and unfamiliar responsibilities. Everybody feels that way when they do something new but some are better at hiding it than others. You have to have a bit of a "fake it til you make it" attitude in this profession and you also have to remember that unless your boss is totally clueless, s/he wouldn't have handed you the responsibilities you have.

The second issue seems to boil down mainly to working too many hours. I think you have to decide whether the opportunity you have now to build your portfolio and credibility as a professional designer is worth the reduction in personal time you'll experience over the next few years if you stick with it. Only you can decide that but it may well be worth the trade off if you can take a longer view of the doors it might open in the future. If a 40 hour work week is a big priority you're going to have to make a sacrifice somewhere, either by going to a less driven firm or by changing professions. I honestly think you need to stick with it much longer before you give up though.

LOL. Believe me, after eight months of being unemployed I would kill to be overwhelmed with architecture again

To me it comes down to are you happy with the people you work with? I have just a little more experience than you, and was in the standard production work phase for a year. Designing or not, working long hours or regular, I just realized that my firm had no life. Spending greater than a third of every work day there I think its important that you like who you are working with. To me a job is a job, and I can always find a creative outlet. I guess it means I value low stress to high demands or whatever, but I'm still low in experience, so my thoughts may change one day. My two cents...

pdigi:

Welcome to the forum and to the profession!

My 2 cents: Don't give up! Follow through on it, or give it your best shot... you've come this far and starting out in the working world after architecture school is never easy...

It becomes alot more rewarding once you gain some confidence in your skills and knowledge as a professional, and your value to your work, to your community... Everything is a job, 90% of people aren't passionate about their jobs generally (outside of architecture as well), but once you gain some solid footing in your field and have developed some confidence, you'll gain a great deal of job satisfaction in just doing the hard work...

I'd agree with nautilaz, a big part of working in this profession is the people you work with. I would say, 50% is the work you do, and 50% is the people you work with: in what other profession do you get to work on projects with interesting people who generally have like interests, are interested in design and delivery of that design (working hard, managing alot of diverse information and tasks, and pushing to realize that design in a way that is meaningful to real people)?

Architecture I think is tough profession, but as you grow and learn and start to see things you work on actually built, it can be very rewarding... Think of it as a job, but also as a team sport: you contribute parts to a whole, you can learn alot from the people you meet, there is always new and interesting things to discover and as you work along side a project team, see it through from beginning to end, you can start to build a sense of comradery that comes with accomplishing something with others, and something that actually matters - architecture affects people, if you can make your client happy, realilze something that affects the daily lives of the end users of that project, it's one of the best feelings in the world. How many accountants for example can point at a set of financial statements or accounts they've worked on and take that kind of satisfaction or saying "I was a part of a team that built that... We conceived of something new, and saw it realized..."?

The long hours issue I think is something that you will learn to cope with... I think, at the beginning, just do it. Put in your time, roll up your sleeves and do what is needed to get it done, take ownership of the job you're given, and don't be afraid to admit you don't know something... Always seek to learn, seek out mentors, and never stop growing... Build friendships in the office if you can... And pass on the knowledge you pick up to others on your teams... As you do more, you will grow stronger and faster... You'll find that you won't need to put in the long hours once you develop more experience. You'll eventually be doing more rigorously scheduled delivery work which will be a bit more of a marathon and less of the intense design stuff... Which is not to say you can't design once you are more experienced, it'll just be probably a bit more at a detail level and with more demands to execute from experience... But for right now, if you are given some design opportunity, and are feeling the pressure: I'd say, it's understandable that you might be feeling a bit stressed or nervous? I'd say, do you best. Work hard but don't kill yourself over it... Just try to let go of any of your inhibitions and try stuff out... In the beginning, coming out of school, obviously you won't be super fast at delivering design in the real world (unless you are unusually gifted as a designer) but realize that design skills develop also through experience. Work the extra hours, put in what you need to up front, now, and treat this as a test... a (temporary) challenge to *represent* your value to the office... It's sort of like an No need to be defensive or fully possessive of the design, you can seek out advice from design leaders who have years of experience on you... You can learn alot... But work hard now because you are basically a newbie... Later on, you can probably take it easier, but for now, as a new intern, rolling up your sleeves and putting in a little more time as needed is what you should expect to do... Once you've earned more responsability and trust of your coworkers, you won't feel so much pressure and I think things will get easier, you will probably feel more comfortable...

Regarding passion for architecture: look at it this way... This is practice... real world stuff. I think in school, it can be easy to grow accustomed to projects without constraints, and where you are given unlimited license to creativity... Now, in a real office, it's basically your next stage in education: how are you going to build the confidence and skill sets to actually realize those design ideas you developed in school in the real world? This means, it's not alway glamorous, there will be some tedious stuff, you will actually need to know how things are built, put together, detailed, coordinated in drawings and in specifications to communicate that for construction (which is basically like assembling a document, directions for a builder), and then later on, you will need to administer that construction through a real world delivery process... There's alot to be learned, but focus on absorbing information, this is all good stuff that will make you a real professional, able to hold your own in the real world dealing with clients, contractors, consultants, etc.

So don't give up! Take it like a challenge, you're already one step in the door, you've put in so much time getting your degree, and it's a profession that if you work hard at, can make you a decent enough living, is a job that you can be proud of, that even those of your friends and family not involved in your industry would be interested in (which is I think somewhat rare as far as professions go).... Do your best, it's a tough economy, but keep in mind that each step you take is building experience and over the course of your career, there are going to be alot of these steps, and this is not your final office, maybe this particular office is not the right fit for you... You can always change your office once you gain some more experience... So you won't be there forever, but right now having a job is a good place to be in this economy with so many people out of work... (I myself am out of work right now, and I know alot of good talented people who are currently out of work and looking), so if you can... I would hang on... Use it as a resume building experience and a learning experience... It matters how long you've worked at particular office, not just how many offices you've worked at, so if you can, stick it out and do your best to help that office for at least a year...

Best of luck!

geez... long post... sorry...

omg... rambling post, but basically *don't give up, take it as a learning experience, a bit of newbie intitation, roll up your sleeves and be prepared to do some dirty work, seek out advice from people, don't be afraid to ask questions or admit you don't know... it won't all be glamorous but it's a job and take satisfaction in the hard work, things will get easier*

just to put this out there, because it might help.

i've somehow managed to stay employed, despite the economy - which has been a saving grace. i suffer from mild depression, and not having additional things to worry about has made the last year much more bearable.

in this period (well, probably the last 2 years), i've taken on a lot of things - volunteer work, competitions, sidework - this has all been a good learning experience for me, and has the added benefit of expanding my network. if sh*t hits the fan right now, i have several more resources at my fingertips, as well as a better resume.

1. competitions - there are a plethora that you can enter. competitions provide the benefit of exploring ideas you can't at work, help stimulate that lost passion and add portfolio fodder

2. volunteer work - AWB, habitat, plus hundreds of other orgs in your area that need help. think outside the box. expand your network, maybe make a few friends or clients.

3. side work - one thing i wish i could obtain more of: small side projects. in my office, moonlighting is [not allowed], but lobby furniture or a garden remodel offer creative stimulation and are small enough to get under the radar.

Competitions, volunteer work and side work are good creative outlets but it's good to find things that don't mimic too closely the nature of work you're doing at the office. For instance, if you're 3D modeling 8+ hours a day at work and then have to come home and 3D model another few hours a night for a competition, I can see burning out on that very quickly.

thanks for everyone's input. the transition from school to the profession is a very daunting challenge. I'm sure it is just an adjustment that I must deal with.

I wanted to avoid getting too detailed, but this internship is unpaid. I know experience is crucial for opening doors in the future, but how long can a new grad go without any compensation? a major reason for my stress has been the fact that i must work a part-time job to keep myself afloat. my parents can only do so much to help before my expenses (loans, debt accrued during college, phone bill, etc.) become a burden on them.

Excessive hours are part of the profession and a necessity for transitioning into this profession. but when they encroach on the hours I need to make money, then there's a problem.

I want to prove myself as a dedicated designer and show that I have the desire to create architecture, but how much can the firm expect from me when they're not compensating me?

I'm sure others are in similar financial situations. it is a difficult time, indeed.

I am also less excited about working in architecture than I expected to be. After working for over three years in the profession, I transitioned to a related, but non-architectural, job, which I enjoyed much much more.

Now that I am unemployed, do I give in and go back to an architectural job, which will probably stress me out just like it did last time?? It is going to be near impossible to find another related but non-architectural job again. Ugh...

how much mentorship should be provided for a new grad?

in the case of getting thrown in the fire, it seems that would be almost detrimental to a firm.

i don't expect to have my hand held, but what can a firm EXPECT from someone straight out of school?

is it simply, survival of the fittest? if it is, fair enough. then it's a case of not meshing well with the studio culture.




future hope:

what was the related, but non-architectural job that you had, if you don't mind me asking?

I sit at home in my apartment all day trying to find firms to apply to that I find interesting. Then I get depressed the next day and spend time trying to motivate myself. I walk to the nearby post office a lot to mail applications. I've started volunteering design services and started working on a competition with a friend. In January I did get four responses and interviewed. But now life is quiet again. My mom gave me money to live on for the next three months. After that? I will probably have to move home where there are even less opportunities.