hi. i just had a look through your portfolio.

what schools are you thinking of applying for?

just a few points
_could there be more pt size contrast / consistencies between the main headings (top left) and other type of headings styles / subtitles. maybe the pages numbers could be size as the headings, and a stronger contrast between the main heading and paragraph intros?
_maybe the top left headings can be given more space from the subtitles?
_could the thumbnail contents all fit onto one pages rather than split over two?
_there appear to be a lot of levels of indents on your resume page
_maybe consider using some full bleed images for contrast and impact
_i wonder if it's really necessary to have the power cables of connect and disconnect at the beginning and end of your portfolio. unless of course there is some relationship a piece of work presented.
_also i wonder if the arrows at the start of each headings are necessary.

just some thoughts...i hope these are helpful.


good luck.

Looks clean and critical. I would like to see more information on your personal designs though (renderings, concepts, structure, circulation, etc). Some of them seem like they deserve more space than your pro work.

Nice graphic design skills, loremipsum. Couple of suggestions...

1. Make the title of your front cover your name, instead of 'Portfolio.'

2. Also, I'd make the main title of each project in all caps, or in all lower case but bigger, or something. Needs a bit of differentiation from your subheading quotes and your body text.

3. Also, what typeface are you using?

Too much professional work imo for an academic portfolio. Actually, I think there's maybe just too many projects period. Perhaps you could pare down the number of projects, but allow more than one spread for the ones you feel are strongest.

I think that way you can show a little more of the development, conceptualization, and process of the project, which will ultimately make your presentation that much stronger.

It is a very clean looking document. I admire your use of white space.

That being said I'd like to see it even cleaner.

-as hema mentioned previously I would ditch the vga cable imagery.

-also as hema mentioned I would ditch The use of the > symbols. They are too 1999 techie and not supported by the rest of your graphic format.

-I do not think any full bleeds are necessary to create contrasts. I like the contained style you have created.

Good luck.

IamGray: it's not a very long portfolio... especially for grad admissions.

Thank you all for the comments, I really appreciate you taking the time to look.

hematophobe -

- Thumbnails on one page is a great suggestion, it has been updated... I am still working on making this read more clearly.

- In that light... the arrows, are meant to inform a heirarchy/taxology of projects, like :

> - Vehicles
>> - Cars
>>> - Honda Cars
>>> - Oldsmobile Cars
>> - Trucks
>>> - Ford Trucks
>>>> - F150
>> - Vans

zga, IamGray -

I am in the process of layering into these projects now that I have images that help me realize them well... as you can imagine, I have hundreds of conceptual images that are not shown because I am trying to keep it clean.

Perhaps I will condense some of the professional work, layer into the strongest academe projects and then think about adding another spread or two.

jk3hl -

- name prominence noted, thanks.
- Thinking about taking the 'medium' text down to 16 from 18 pt
- typefaces are Arial Black for titles and everything else is univers.

__|_|_ |',__|_ -

- RGB cables are a work in progress, tying in with my personal statement my thoughts are derived from a philosophy where people 'plug in' to architecture, having a deep effect on perception and influencing the actions of occupants. Is the house icon on the plug reading?...

Any thoughts on which projects seem strongest to you thus far in terms of imagery?

Thank you again!!!

here we go.

- The font is driving me nuts. It looks far too "defaulty". Have you searched for better options?
- The spacing for the inner margin is a bit excessive, almost to the point where I often think I am looking at one project on the right and a different project on the left even though they are both related.
- I feel like starting off with the design 2 work, especially the slow house drawing, sets you up for a portfolio reading that centers on your technical skills, when in fact you definitely have some pretty interesting design work. where are you applying to again?
- the rgb cable resonates in a weird way... it seems antiquated... but that's just me.

loremipsum,

You have a great presentation in your hands, so please don't think that I'm trying to slam you.

Regarding your hierarchy and the use of > symbols.

It is not really self evident that was your intention.

It also seems to me that your hierarchy (as it stands now) is not complex enough to need such a system.

>Contents
>Resume
>>Project 1
>>Project 2
>>Project 3
>>Project 4
>>Project 5
>>Project 6
>>>Sub Project 1
>>>Sub Project 2
>>>Sub Project 3
>>Project 7
>Professional Work
>> Firm 1
>> Firm 1
>> Firm 2
>> Firm 3

And if you really want to go this route why would their not be a ">student work" on page six?

I would really consider finding a different method of delineating your portfolio's structure.

The >'s are as cliched in graphic design as the use of THICKTHIN has become.

jk3hl: My comment wasn't directed at the number of pages (length of portfolio), but rather the number of projects. There's something like 8 academic projects; most of them limited to only one spread.
If I'm on the admissions committee, I'm eager to see more of the guts of each project. Some of the best portfolios I've seen focused on just two or three projects, but really went into depth explaining the motivation, research, rationalization, and evolution of each one.

As it stands, I find the portfolio very clear and concise, but perhaps a bit too much of an over-view. It's a nice introductory catalogue of loremipsum's work, but it leaves me wanting more.

But then again, that's just one guy's opinion. I hope you understand what I'm getting at and find it constructive!

loremipsum,

Regarding the plug imagery.

Yes the house reads, I just find it too 'cutsie'.

It's the symbol for house as seen by a non-architect.

And I just find the cable visually cluttering to your concise design

fluxbound - I find Univers to be a very elegant font, but it is something that I have struggled with, finding a good typeface for my work... any suggestions?

IamGray - I want you to want more! Your advice is very constructive, I will take it into account on my next revision.

__|_|_ |',__|_ - Thank you for breaking that down... (embarrassingly, something I had actually not done before). I would like to retain a formal/graphical organization system in some way because the connection between the three united nations plaza projects are not yet unified visually... I'll be working on that connection this weekend and maybe then I will feel comfortable without it (or make it more clear).

Thanks again!!!

FYI

I'm in no rush, so this year is really a 'water-testing' all out application barrage to my dream schools... Ivies + UCLA + MIT + a tentative few others.

I'm very excited to see how I will perform.

my main issue with the font is that it's overly thick at times (that's what she said?).

i don't know if you're using a bold typeface for things like page 2's content header or not but without heavy contrast with a thin typeface, thick fonts seem out of place.

i also agree with whomever mentioned the >>>'s as being slightly confusing.

myfonts.com has a lot of good free stuff by great typeface designers/foundries.

i've been using corbel in a lot of my work, but i don't remember how i got a hold of that one.

Univers seems to be one of those fonts that works well when dealing with small text. It works great in your resume, but the headers are just overly thickened. also, as someone suggested previously, if you don't want to change the font, consider making the headers all caps (capitalization can be annoying if you're looking at text as a visual element).

Looks nice, although could be slightly cleaner. Where are you applying to?

i thought it was good...
but

why does everyone have the six pack plastic ring design for a facade?
it seems so tired.

good start.
i agree with all of the above comments.
white space is good, it is not too cluttered. I agree with the comments on the fonts - something other than Arial. Obviously there are some placeholder images (the screengrab inside the airport for instance).

maybe find a good simple way to render, i suggest vray for rhino.

The plug is not a great idea. Just plain white would be better.

I enjoy the social activism bent you are trying to talk about...
But you should not start with two of those projects.
You need to start with a strong architecture project and end also with a strong one. Mix the social art in later.


The airport project has some potential. To clean it up: hand drawing over the plan is absolutely awful. Not in presentation work. The drawing looks fine underneath it. If you need to use it as a diagram, do the heavy linework in illustrator, cleanly. I would try to avoid the hand drawn lines-overextending look. I don't think you are trying to portray yourself as a traditionalist, and it just looks sloppy in contemporary drawings. If you have to do it, at least hardline it, not freehand.

The auditorium freehand rendering looks very nice however. Also the initial hand rendering on the very first page is very nice [does it work a little bigger?]. Keep the nice hand drawings, and take out any hand-diagramming that is a little sloppy.

The cutaway theater render will work better as a linework only drawing with light lineweights (except maybe keep the blue for the glass)

You could use one or two very well done, elegant, presentation quality line drawings. Either plan, section, or axon for the academic work. I would suggest for the airport since you are investing more energy in that.

Make the plans bigger for the framing the void project, it looks like you spent some time on them. The hand render for that project isn't the greatest, i would deemphasize it somehow. Or possibly do the same thing with a make2D of your 3d model for the same view, and illustrator, photoshop render it with tones in grayscale with the same level of detail, not dealing with light/shadow, just with elevation.

The social sculpture presentation spread is the strongest graphically, but i think it is a collaborative work? Don't lead off with it then.

Anyway good start, good luck with applications!

very nice.

I'm too lazy to reread other posts and see if this has been mentioned or not. but im assuming it has, so let me reiterate: you should lose the cheesy house-computer-plug graphic. also, I dont like the arrows. and it seems like there might be too many projects.

Less text - More PiKt-churs!

there are enough projects no matter what other homies say