All is fair in recession and war?


I've witnessed plenty of twisted stories and horrid human behaviour during the course of this recession, and finally maybe it's my turn to taste the devil's recipe.

While I'm job hunting, a friend finds creative solution: her boss is friends with senior staff at a major awesome office, and the boss is also in a little crisis of losing yet another japanese girl, i was introduced to him as a "gift" over a lunch, with me thinking it was networking opportunity while him knowing it was an Asian woman to be checked out!  

Soon I realized i was blind dating, and he is maybe not exactly my type of guy. But hell, nowadays even the hope to get connected to a good office is oh so precious. I assented to go on a couple of dates, during which he was just busy "interviewing" trying to know my life history, and he got me in touch with his contact at the office through email.

Now here comes the tricky third date invitation: dinner at his house. At the mean time, I saw his archi contact has requested their hr to ask me to also load my résumé to their website, saying that later they will contact me to chat and review my portfolio.

My question is: do I need to put a stop to the dating game if my intention was to network my way into a good office and now it seems I have gotten bumpped into an HR blackhole already while the date is getting serious. Or am I missing a good opportunity backing out right now? 

Ready for the most severe criticism.

May 7, 13 10:17 am

Pitch this story for a pilot for HBO. I'd watch it. 

May 7, 13 10:29 am

i bet you could find some new restaurant you haven't tried and offer it as an alternative to the dinner at his house, because you really want to try the restaurant.  not because, you know...   that should buy you a week right? 

May 7, 13 10:58 am


I think the real fodder for an HBO or sitcom/drama series would be a M.Arch. 3 year group numbering some 20 to 30 people.

Forget the typical legal, medical, or financial themes.  This would be undeniably funky.

Back on topic ...

May 7, 13 11:11 am

I once knew an architect who was interviewed for a job at Philip Johnson's office, by Johnson, in his apartment, in the bedroom, wearing a bathrobe.

Your ethics are your own. Just keep in mind that maintaining a higher standard tends to help keep you out of problematic situations. Except poverty.

May 7, 13 12:54 pm

Now that I've gotten into problematic situation in pursuit of happiness and riddence of poverty, Miles, I'd better shoot for the star. I'm gonna keep records of what I saw in this 5 years, think philosophically, lament profoundly, hire a writer, market it as the great gatsby in the 21 century, and eventually win 2 Oscars in about 10 years: the best screenplay and the best director.

May 7, 13 8:22 pm

In order to escape poverty, i realized that, one needs to be capable of bathrobe interviewing with Phillip Johnson. But, would you guys meet Johnson's friend over hot tub as well for he might get you two connected? 

Curtkram, good idea, would you also recommend I still go to the home dinner, but ask to go get an ice cream afterwards, so we get out of the house, and going back in would have to be another request?

May 7, 13 8:42 pm

Pursuit of happiness has very little to do with money and a great deal to do with self-respect.

May 7, 13 10:12 pm

i would not go in the guy's house.  if i were you i wouldn't be comfortable alone with him at all.  carry mace.  i'm pretty far removed from the situation, but it sounds to me like he's trying to trade you a job for sex.  except there is no job.  so instead of a job he's only offering you the same opportunity to submit a portfolio online that everyone else has.  from my remote perspective the guy sounds really pathetic and it would make me a little sad if you reward him for being pathetic.

if you both know what is going on here, you could press it.  tell him you'll let him buy you dinner after you get the job offer.  sounds to me like he's pretty sleazy anyway, so i wouldn't have any moral qualms about hurting him or calling him out.  does he come across as fairly narcissistic?  the sort of person who thinks they're important and people want to sleep with them just because of whatever job he has or privileged position that likely came more from his parents or grandparents than his own ability?  do you have a picture you can post?

i suppose the other option is to just be open and honest.  let him know you're interested in architecture as a career, and that's why you wanted to meet him, and that's the end of it.

also, if your friend set up this opportunity and told you it was networking but knew it wasn't, i would stop using the word 'friend.'  in fact there is a fair chance i would use that new can of mace on him/her next time i saw them.

May 8, 13 10:45 am

tp paraphrase philip johnson "all architects are whores"  

sounds like your already gotten some sort of action w. hr, so no need for a home cooked dinner. besides what happens if they hire you and people there find out about your dating?

May 8, 13 4:45 pm

You could wear a wire and then use the tape to blackmail him. Either you get the job or he loses his.

Maybe you could weave it into your script. Lot's of alternative storylines to play out. 

Utilizes your planning skills AND beats the crap out of architecture.

May 8, 13 5:52 pm

wait for an offer... (from the firm)

May 8, 13 7:02 pm

OK I decided not to pursue this direction. If there was going to be a job for me, I'd have seen some sign of it by now. 

May 10, 13 3:25 am

did you consider miles's blackmail suggestion?  that one is pretty clever.  i would endorse that idea.

May 10, 13 7:37 am

Miels was indeed clever. I definitely save that for my future new HBO series Breaking Bad-the Desperate Architects.

At the mean time, In order to avoid the can of mace into my own face by pushing someone into a corner, I used a combination of going to the dinner for food and pulling Curtcram's open and honest option when it looked sex was REALLY the arrangement for the night.

Guess what, that bought me another several weeks down the road: the guy suggested taking it slow and try it again...but I feel this should be the end of the show.

May 10, 13 6:42 pm

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