Just be honest and say NO! ... or maybe you simply call it a "friends with benefits" arrangement. Your call - but honestly, directness and sincerity always works best.

this is a question for abracadabra, faia....

maybe u should get drunker then

I suggest you post your question on a public internet forum using your real name. Problem solved!

dude - go for it

I was going to say that there's really no such thing as an unwanted booty call... but then I saw evilp's post above.

Tell her you're trying out celibacy for a while, to better focus all of your energy on architecture.

As said above you have to be upfront and honest. Ignoring her will only make her want you more, that's how women seem to work.

That's really your only option, unless she has a cute friend. In that case you know what you need to do to end the unwanted booty calls from said friend.

Good luck! The ones who stalk you are never the ones, life can be so cruel.

no such thing...and sponge roberta there wouldn't fit in my elevator anyway... call me.

replace her with him

I'm not sure I completely understand. You're getting booty calls, and you don't want them? Is she ugly? I say take full advantage of your fwb situation. Remember the grandpa from Little Miss Sunshine? He gave sound advice. If you really really want to end it, every time you see her be selfish and get off but don't do anything for her. No talking before or after. After a while she'll get fed up and will stop asking for booty calls and in the process you'll get to bang a few more times before it's over.

I just read the last half of the topic sentence that says you want to be friends. I agree with the others, just be honest and upfront. But you're probably already in too deep to stay regular friends.

Funny and this is true, when I stopped giving a shit about my ex fuck-buddy's sexual needs because I was trying to get rid of her she just got needier and needier. If you really want to loose a girl just be as nice to her as you possibly can, especially if you live in NYC.

Women are weird.

You guys are so hardcore.

Noooooo I guess I didn't explain my situation correctly. There's this guy who's my friend, well sort of, more like a good acquaintance who I hang out with sometimes at parties. I am on vaguely interested in him, not enough to actually try anything. Hence, I don't want to be friends with benefits. I just want him to stop calling me in the middle of the night and trying to come over! But I still want to be friends.

I guess maybe once there's a romantic interested expressed by one party in any friendship, it just gets awkward if that feeling is unreciprocated/unrequited and good platonic friendship is not actually possible anymore?

Apurimac - strange but true observation, not 100% but fairly common. Maybe its an age thing.

Nic, I'd say that's not totally true. My best friend in high school told me at least once a week how I was his perfect woman, how he wanted me, etc. (never mind his engagement to someone else), but I just let it roll off my back and we stayed friends for years. Yes it did eventually fail in part because of his feelings, but we had several good years before that happened. So I'd say it's worth a try to remain friends.

The best thing to do is be honest with your friend. Tell him, "Look I think you're a great friend, but that's it...nothing more and nothng less." Just be honest. You'll feel alot better about it in the end.
And another thing...Guys...seriously you need a hobby. I can't believe the things I am hearing...Funny though!

dude when you find the answer let me know. FB or FWB are great when you are in the 20s trying to get your head around architecture. But at some point you just want more. The problem is that feelings become intertangled with lust, as mi dear mum would say first comes lust then comes love. So if you aren't keen on taking the left get off the fucking road.

There is no such thing!!!!

lol, i have standards...

;)

nic, in all honesty this will not end how you want it to - just friends. things are never going to be the same. one party will start feeling creeped out and the other will feel embarassed/ashamed or will get more aggressive about the situation. someone needs to act like an adult - well, both of you need to act like adults.

tell him you're friends, but if that they keep pursing the friendship will have to end. it's just irresponsible and selfish just to fuck for fucks sake if there is one party doing it to satisfy some hormonal urges.

Three words:

I have diarrhea.

Booty Call Forwarding:
Method whereby an incoming booty call is forwarded to a friend in need. Usually repaid with good karma.

Tell him to come on over... but warn him that your're having a herpes outbreak.


Apurimac - your experience sounds similar to my own. When i was dating the women I treated like shit loved me, and the ones I was nice to left me promptly. Did eventually meet one sane woman and eventually married her. There's hope.

i guess it's just human nature to want what you can't have and conversely, to not want it once you have it.

Just be honest. If your friend wants to have some play time with you but you don't want any, just tell him no. Most guys "calm down" after rejection. And you said he was your friend, so I think he would understand and respect your decision.

For real, you can easily ride this thing out. At least with girls. Just play it totally cool. Be buddies. Don't acknowledge anything. Ridicule your friend for terrible drunk dialing, as if that's all it is. Trust me. And don't make eye contact, you are probably doing too much of that. Only hang out in groups.

now that I have shared too much personal info on the internet... I'm going to bed.

conormac, do we know each other in real life? This is all sounding very familiar...

lol I just saw this. its possible.