Seems rather straightforward. I am a regular, and recently have been going through a tremendous amount of uncertainty; job, life, wife, career - said that already. Well, I am set to see a professional tomorrow, but I seem almost headed in the wrong direction, trying to remain positive, focused on future, on goals wanting to acheive, but I am scared to death, scared that so much seems to be riding on what I am doing or not doing right. Trying hard not to loose it, but it seems like an uphill battle. Anyone got any advice, I wish I could confide in some of you, because I respect to many of you, but this seems really embarassing and not something your "friends" are looking to deal with.
Kevorkian...
Glad to hear that your seeking professional help..
I to have seen a professional...not for long and not for anything very serious...
However, i think it can be immensely helpful to talk with someone, who is impartial, unknown and non judgemental...
Hope it helps...
And feel free to share with me, and although i don't want to speak for everyone on Archinect...
We are here to listen....
k, glad to hear you are seeking professional help. i'm sure most of us have been down in the dumps at one time or another. we are, after all, part of one of the most disfunctional professions around.
good luck tomorrow... seeking help is a huge step... hopefully it will be helpful for you... if you don't mind, are you seeing a psychiatrist or a psychologist?
my wife used to go to "talk therapy", but it never really helped until her and her psychiatrist were able to get the right mix of drugs... having 10 years of experience from the other side of things my advice would be the following...
1) if you're not FULLY comfortable with the doctor that you see tomorrow then find another one... my wife has had some very bad ones... she went through at least 2-3 before finding her current doc... nothing really started getting until she found the right match...
2) if you're going to be taking meds, try not to get frustrated... it can take quite a long time tweaking medicines and doses before getting the right mix... some meds turned my wife into a raving bitch... you'll need to count on your wife to monitor your behavior... and she'll need to be patient as well...
that's all that i can think of at the moment... again, good luck...
i have been getting very depressed as well. Most of it is professional; I am not happy at work. I really dont feel that I am contributing anything to the world and going anywhere in terms of my professional life. It is even harder living in Los Angeles because I am surrounded by creative people who are very 'successful'.
I think that I know what I rather be doing (building models and sets for the entertainment industry) but I am scared of switching careers when I have bills to pay. I have tried to switch, but everyone wants you to work for free for a while.
I have ended up feeling trapped financially...doing something that really doesnt make me happy, but pays the bills (barely). Also, the prospect of not really being able to buy a house in LA isnt making things that much better.
Anyways, I have sort of been reading the following books...
I would really encourage you to go in with a limiting approach to meds. Too many doctors are too quick to hand them out, and many people who are really just going through a depressive episode wind up medicated for life. Even if you end up on them eventually, I'd encourage you to do a decent amount of talk therapy and alternative therapy (relating to eliminating negative circumstances/forces from your life) beforehand, to make sure that you really need it.
And you can email me anytime. I have been through it, and know what a hard road it is. I still can't say that I feel 'normal' right now, but I do feel more alive than I have in a long time.
K - I empathize with you greatly and am happy to hear you are seeking professional help. Remember though the process with the therapist/psycologist/psychologist can take a while to kick in. I agree totally with Architphil. Another thing that may help... Try to get some exercise even if it means is just walking to the corner and back, this will start to get the endorphins going again. It may be hard, but this to shall pass. Feel free to email me too.
Hey, You are not a loser...try to get yourself out of that mind frame. I think that alot of us have been there. So you are in good company. And try to remember, and I was told by someone this, if you feel you've hit rock bottom, don't fret my friend, the only way to go now is up...I think that seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist is a good thing. It depends on the individual of course- as does taking medicines. Really think it through and discuss with your doctor if this is your best approach...Good luck!
rationalist you and i are on the same page. I will be the first to admit that there is such thing as chronic depression. But i also feel like too many people are willing to become victims of their own lives. Depression is incredibly difficult to deal with even in short doses let alone years of persistence. But if your Dr tells you to consider anti-depressants, do just that... consider it.
Though i may be a bit reactionary, i feel like taking medication is a slippery slope towards surrendering control over something, i personally, am not willing to let go of. Maybe a good day is a victory, and i often found myself wondering (do i feel good, or do the drugs feel good).
Kevorkian,
it is a difficult thing and i think you'll find that many people have been through similar thoughts/feelings even in dis-similar situations... its the nature of the beast. maybe your the kind that takes solace in that, maybe your the kind thats hurt by the lack of individuality in this experience (i am the latter)... either way, its very important to talk about it... swallow your pride, and let someone know exactly whats wrong, no matter how embarrassing, silly, pointless, worthless etc etc you might think it. My only caveat is to be careful who you tell... not everyone is able to deal with reality, they dont deal with depression and will only make you feel bad... you know which friends they are... and i think we all have them... And also, dont forget that everyone feels bad a lot of the time... keep asking your friends how they are doing like you normally would... for some reason that helps too. Best of luck!
I agree with tunamelt on the exercise....it really does the trick when I'm feeling overwhelmed. All of my worries seem not as big afterwards. I also think some perspective does us all good when focusing on what we aren't. There's always someone a little worse off or a little better off.
Hang in there K, and congrats on making that appt. for tomorrow.
I've gone thru serious bouts of depression myself since I was a young kid. I did see a psychologist for a few sessions, it did help. They also tried to put me on meds, which I didn't end up taking. Having been through therapy, and my husband used to give therapy - it is important to note that you get out of what you put into it. Therpay isn't magic, you have to work at it.
The most important thing I got out of therapy was that I control my thoughts. I didn't know that when a bad thought arose, that I had to turn it into a positive thought or get rid of the the thought altogether. I had to learn that I was in control of my thoughts and my mood and I could change them for the better. When I have a negative thought, I tend to dwell on it and run it over and over in my mind - this is bad.
Another turning point to share - I confessed to a friend of a friend that I was suffering from severe depression (not something I told just anybody, but did in this case). She told me depression is just thinking about yourself too much, being too introspective. It helps when I get a little blue to remember to think outside myself a bit, look at the bigger picture, forget that things aren't necessarily as I have packaged them up in my brain. Remember that things aren't always as I perceive them.
Also - your mind is connected to your body. If your body doesn't feel good (overweight, tired, etc.) you have to work that much harder for your mind to overcome negative thoughts.
I also was reluctant to tell my employer at that time, but eventually it got so bad it came out and they gave me a few weeks off to get my shit together (doc helped with that one). But never underestimate that people know EXACTLY how you feel sometimes, and can empathize with you and help you with what you need.
i'm in the sinking depression boat right now.... sucks...really does......
single...work too much...no money coming in...... frustrated...etc....
only thing that keeps me sane sometimes is my motivation i guess...but then sometimes it backfires on me........ like a i try so damn hard and making a good idea and yet nothing happens of it...... not like i suck at what i do...but shit........ why cant i get hired??????????........ maybe i'm just toooo far in the hole to get out and be in a firm......i dont know...
aside from that...... just stress in general gets to me...... i have to worry how i'm gonna eat tomorrow and why am i 31 and havent even made 30,000 a year yet...wtf..........
anyways....
maybe something positive will happen soon.....
K, just find something that makes you happy and use that as your crutch
On this exact day one year ago, I was starting to fall into a really deep depression myself. It was very uncharacteristic for me, but I hated everything and almost everyone....I kept trying to find the bright side but every time I did, I ended up crying. I'm not sure what exactly brought me out of it.....I think talking it out with my friends helped a lot, but I just couldn't even talk at first, so that was hard. I tried to focus energy on my grad school applications - which really needed to get done at the time - and that helped too. And then something completely ridiculous happened that made me realize that sometimes life is just sh*tty and you have to ride out the rough patches and hope that it will get better with time, and it usually does.
Talking with someone about it will help a lot. In the meantime, I will suggest looking for things that make you smile in unexpected places. Just know that there are many people who go through this every day, and you are not alone.
I sincerely appreciate the concern and the fact that many of you have the courage to step up and share similar experiences. I wish for that courage. I am a professional, older than most, and the same age as others. I have been through a lot in the passed 5 or so years and got through much of the malaise. I have been through this kind of thing before, I have also seen a professional as well - the experience was quite helpful. It's remarkable to me that we can seemingly have everything we aspire to, and yet are unfulfilled, and sad. So much of me wants more than the obvious, and so much of me feels that expressing this openly to ones that care about you seems like a burden, like hey, what you think my life is some kind of party, get with it, snap to! I am sure many came to this thread thinking that, this is BS, she/he is not real, that this is some fishing expedition, it's not, it's real and it really blows.
It's even worse when fictional characters - be they real humans or cartoon characters - and HBO shows mimic aspects of you and your life, right down to the regret you know you will have when you are 65 and thinking that having children to share your life with would have been great...
A large part of me needs more than what I seem to offer to myself.
Talking and writing and hopefully creating - and by that I mean CREATING in the creative sense - will provide me some desparately needed elixir.
Mr. K.... I would suggest a puppy....cause they give you unconditional LOVE and you don't have to worry about
sending them off to College! Serious I can associate
with your problems, my sister (almost a twin), has had
her bouts and also my first wife with depression.
I will also say the best thing I ever did for my first wife
was to pull her out of bed in the morning and take her
for a walk. It isn't as easy as it sounds so you might want
to explain it to your wife or someone else who will make sure
you get out at the start of the day and go for a brisk walk.
Don't be surprised if you will have a hard time doing this at first but
there is nothing like tuning into nature, the wind blowing in your face,
the smell of fall the delight of snowflakes which will slowly turn your thoughts around. You can also take your new puppy buddy with you.
I find in amazing every day I walk with my two boys (dogs). They are
so keen on everything when we are out and about and they just love to go.....standing at the door waiting for their gentle leaders.
Anyhow wish you the very best. It is good to be talking to someone,
and if there is no match, don't waste your time...move on to another one. However I found , the most important thing is to be honest with yourself and offer up yourself as an open book when you find a professional your comfortable with, and you will get better.
i just put my business card on my pharmacist's cork board. i made sure it was in the area with few real estate agents'. it already gives me some hope. i am not on prozac or anything.
i sunk few ships but i am a good swimmer by now.
i don't like the kevorkian part. enjoy your depression. it is no fun but necessary. i usually get depressed on gray days. tina asks if i "got the gray davies yet?" on such days, like today...
also, i was unhappy that my wireless modem adopter was not working all day, i just restarted the verizon dsl modem. viola. fuckin' a lil things like that make me happy.
Strange happenings last night. I am on the bus home and this guy asks me about my shoes, and whether or not they were Abercrombie, then a couple of comments about rich suburban white kids, and then he says, "My coat's from Joseph." Well, my stupid naive and out of touch - into my own problems - looks at him at says "What's Joseph...?" He tells me he got it for free from the shelter and some guy named Joseph owned it...I realized I had not really looked at him and was embarassed, because how often do I really LOOK at those in "distress?"
I was humbled by the moment, flustered by my speechlessness, and mindful of the fact that life was never this "good" and times have been rough in my life and I should be thankful that I am quite fortunate. I have a degree, I have a license, and I have a job.
It was then that I got off the bus.
5 Minutes later I found myself in a catholic church, and I am not even catholic, but something about the catholic religion - probably the ritual[s] - has always caught my attention. I just sat for about 1/2 hour, in the quiet, thinking, listening, watching, watching the woman genuflect in front of me, kiss the floor and pray.
I think there's something to be said for finding some sort of space that feels sacred, regardless of whether it's a church pew, a temple shrine, a park bench, or a special spot out in the forest. As architects, we're always keenly in touch with our physical surroundings, and this can be a blessing and a curse.
Don't beat yourself up for having it better than some other people, though. While it's good to keep things in perspective and to be grateful for what you have, it's also important not to trivialize your own problems, or feel guilty for having problems that might not be as bad as somebody else's. Getting past that guilt was a big step for me in dealing with my own depression issues.
I disagree, whistler. I see this post as a positive.. as departure towards change. How many of us have been through rough times? How many of us have reached out to the people we know and love, or to ones we don't? It takes courage and confidence to acknowledge doubt and uncertainty.
It is also a pretty amazing thing to see the heart felt responses above.
do you volunteer your time to any organazations??? I used to work with Habitat for Humanity (that is a thread in and off itself) and felt like I was giving back. I think that many of us (myself included) feel empty and depressed because our modern lives dont really involve much 'giving' back
you are obviously a very compassionate individual, and maybe you are feeling pain because you want to give back, but arent
For all I know you could be running a volunteer organazation, so this is just a hypothesis
Wow....I agree 100% with mdler, his advise is spot on. It was transferance - you begin to see yourself within a context of reality. Knowing that you live and what you make of it benefits someone else
Kevorkian...your first step might be to change your name - maybe something that recognises that it can get better, and will
I forgot another thing about last night. I get home, have dinner and about an hour in I get a phone message from the Barrack Obama campaign, they were looking for me to go door to door and go to Caucus training sessions. I thought that I would call back today at break and chip in for the cause. A dog huh? Couldn't hurt.
My meeting tonight should be interesting. I think she is just a therapist and not an MD so prescribing meds might not be possible. I wonder though, sometimes I get this sense that this issue is more chemical and less "emotional" some part of my brain feels foggy and depleted. I can't quite explain it other than I "feel" different.
When the euphoria of the good times fades and is replaced with this, what else would you call it?
Actually, I eat real healthy, I am pretty much a vegetarian. It seems beyond dietary and more of something else; I am not a doctor, but some part of me wonders if I am somewhat manic-depressive.
K - Though this therapist cannot prescribe meds if he/she deems it necessary, she/she will refer to someone who can whether it be your family physician or a psychiatrist.
Mr K, aye? Anyone else humming that Beatles song?
"The Hendersons will all be there
Late of Pablo Fanques Fair-what a sense
Over men and horses hoops, and garters
Lastly through a hogshead of real fire!
In this way Mr. K will challenge the world!
Manic-depression is characterized by severe highs followed by severe lows, Extreme behavior at both ends and difficulty functioing in what we would consider "normal life", keeping a job, focusing on one idea/task, maintaining responsibility, etc. I have several family members who suffer with this as well as clinical depression. Two of my aunts are bipolar.
My immediate family was hit hard by my mother's depression, which really set in almost 14 years ago, though she had short bouts of it earlier in life. Hers was caused by a chemical imbalance resulting from a birth-control shot and exacerbated by the pick and choose medicating methods. I exaggerate in no way when I say I became mom to younger siblings over night. It's not always something that can be overcome easily or even mitigated, but it's good you're seeking the help you might need sooner rather than later. And if you were manic, you probably would not admit to it. Denial is a huge part of their behavior as well. At least that's been my experience with the illness.
mr k if your feeling those highs and lows....do get help and work hard to find someone who can help...like I said earlier be and open book so they can come to understand what is going on. I think you will find you can lead a good life once you get things under control.
as far as diet, I found omega 3 supplements to help, as well as walks in the sun (didn't matter morning or afternoon, but had to be at least partly sunny), exercise, and concious elimination of people or situations that negatively impact me from my life, all to help.
Starting out with someone not wielding a prescription pad is a good thing!
Depression
Seems rather straightforward. I am a regular, and recently have been going through a tremendous amount of uncertainty; job, life, wife, career - said that already. Well, I am set to see a professional tomorrow, but I seem almost headed in the wrong direction, trying to remain positive, focused on future, on goals wanting to acheive, but I am scared to death, scared that so much seems to be riding on what I am doing or not doing right. Trying hard not to loose it, but it seems like an uphill battle. Anyone got any advice, I wish I could confide in some of you, because I respect to many of you, but this seems really embarassing and not something your "friends" are looking to deal with.
Ah, well...
Sign me,
Just Another Looser
Kevorkian...
Glad to hear that your seeking professional help..
I to have seen a professional...not for long and not for anything very serious...
However, i think it can be immensely helpful to talk with someone, who is impartial, unknown and non judgemental...
Hope it helps...
And feel free to share with me, and although i don't want to speak for everyone on Archinect...
We are here to listen....
k, glad to hear you are seeking professional help. i'm sure most of us have been down in the dumps at one time or another. we are, after all, part of one of the most disfunctional professions around.
feel free to email.
good luck tomorrow... seeking help is a huge step... hopefully it will be helpful for you... if you don't mind, are you seeing a psychiatrist or a psychologist?
my wife used to go to "talk therapy", but it never really helped until her and her psychiatrist were able to get the right mix of drugs... having 10 years of experience from the other side of things my advice would be the following...
1) if you're not FULLY comfortable with the doctor that you see tomorrow then find another one... my wife has had some very bad ones... she went through at least 2-3 before finding her current doc... nothing really started getting until she found the right match...
2) if you're going to be taking meds, try not to get frustrated... it can take quite a long time tweaking medicines and doses before getting the right mix... some meds turned my wife into a raving bitch... you'll need to count on your wife to monitor your behavior... and she'll need to be patient as well...
that's all that i can think of at the moment... again, good luck...
i have been getting very depressed as well. Most of it is professional; I am not happy at work. I really dont feel that I am contributing anything to the world and going anywhere in terms of my professional life. It is even harder living in Los Angeles because I am surrounded by creative people who are very 'successful'.
I think that I know what I rather be doing (building models and sets for the entertainment industry) but I am scared of switching careers when I have bills to pay. I have tried to switch, but everyone wants you to work for free for a while.
I have ended up feeling trapped financially...doing something that really doesnt make me happy, but pays the bills (barely). Also, the prospect of not really being able to buy a house in LA isnt making things that much better.
Anyways, I have sort of been reading the following books...
'I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was'
http://www.amazon.com/Could-Anything-Only-Knew-What/dp/0440505003
'Why Your Life Sucks and What You Can Do About It'
http://www.amazon.com/Why-Your-Life-Sucks-About/dp/1588720284
At this point in my life, I really wish I could find that one thing that I was 110% passionate about...
Good luck.
I would really encourage you to go in with a limiting approach to meds. Too many doctors are too quick to hand them out, and many people who are really just going through a depressive episode wind up medicated for life. Even if you end up on them eventually, I'd encourage you to do a decent amount of talk therapy and alternative therapy (relating to eliminating negative circumstances/forces from your life) beforehand, to make sure that you really need it.
Kervorkian: How old are you, and how long have you been out of school, or where are you in your licensing/career-building process?
And you can email me anytime. I have been through it, and know what a hard road it is. I still can't say that I feel 'normal' right now, but I do feel more alive than I have in a long time.
Also, it's not embarrassing to feel overwhelmed sometimes. Taking steps to improve the situation is a really, really good thing.
another book that helped me was http://www.quarterlifecrisis.com/
basically, I realized that the feelings that I have been feeling are natural for people of my age (28).
are your 'goals' getting in the way of your own personal happiness?
K - I empathize with you greatly and am happy to hear you are seeking professional help. Remember though the process with the therapist/psycologist/psychologist can take a while to kick in. I agree totally with Architphil. Another thing that may help... Try to get some exercise even if it means is just walking to the corner and back, this will start to get the endorphins going again. It may be hard, but this to shall pass. Feel free to email me too.
Hey, You are not a loser...try to get yourself out of that mind frame. I think that alot of us have been there. So you are in good company. And try to remember, and I was told by someone this, if you feel you've hit rock bottom, don't fret my friend, the only way to go now is up...I think that seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist is a good thing. It depends on the individual of course- as does taking medicines. Really think it through and discuss with your doctor if this is your best approach...Good luck!
rationalist you and i are on the same page. I will be the first to admit that there is such thing as chronic depression. But i also feel like too many people are willing to become victims of their own lives. Depression is incredibly difficult to deal with even in short doses let alone years of persistence. But if your Dr tells you to consider anti-depressants, do just that... consider it.
Though i may be a bit reactionary, i feel like taking medication is a slippery slope towards surrendering control over something, i personally, am not willing to let go of. Maybe a good day is a victory, and i often found myself wondering (do i feel good, or do the drugs feel good).
Kevorkian,
it is a difficult thing and i think you'll find that many people have been through similar thoughts/feelings even in dis-similar situations... its the nature of the beast. maybe your the kind that takes solace in that, maybe your the kind thats hurt by the lack of individuality in this experience (i am the latter)... either way, its very important to talk about it... swallow your pride, and let someone know exactly whats wrong, no matter how embarrassing, silly, pointless, worthless etc etc you might think it. My only caveat is to be careful who you tell... not everyone is able to deal with reality, they dont deal with depression and will only make you feel bad... you know which friends they are... and i think we all have them... And also, dont forget that everyone feels bad a lot of the time... keep asking your friends how they are doing like you normally would... for some reason that helps too. Best of luck!
I agree with tunamelt on the exercise....it really does the trick when I'm feeling overwhelmed. All of my worries seem not as big afterwards. I also think some perspective does us all good when focusing on what we aren't. There's always someone a little worse off or a little better off.
Hang in there K, and congrats on making that appt. for tomorrow.
I've gone thru serious bouts of depression myself since I was a young kid. I did see a psychologist for a few sessions, it did help. They also tried to put me on meds, which I didn't end up taking. Having been through therapy, and my husband used to give therapy - it is important to note that you get out of what you put into it. Therpay isn't magic, you have to work at it.
The most important thing I got out of therapy was that I control my thoughts. I didn't know that when a bad thought arose, that I had to turn it into a positive thought or get rid of the the thought altogether. I had to learn that I was in control of my thoughts and my mood and I could change them for the better. When I have a negative thought, I tend to dwell on it and run it over and over in my mind - this is bad.
Another turning point to share - I confessed to a friend of a friend that I was suffering from severe depression (not something I told just anybody, but did in this case). She told me depression is just thinking about yourself too much, being too introspective. It helps when I get a little blue to remember to think outside myself a bit, look at the bigger picture, forget that things aren't necessarily as I have packaged them up in my brain. Remember that things aren't always as I perceive them.
Also - your mind is connected to your body. If your body doesn't feel good (overweight, tired, etc.) you have to work that much harder for your mind to overcome negative thoughts.
I also was reluctant to tell my employer at that time, but eventually it got so bad it came out and they gave me a few weeks off to get my shit together (doc helped with that one). But never underestimate that people know EXACTLY how you feel sometimes, and can empathize with you and help you with what you need.
Feel free to e-mail me for any support too.
i'm in the sinking depression boat right now.... sucks...really does......
single...work too much...no money coming in...... frustrated...etc....
only thing that keeps me sane sometimes is my motivation i guess...but then sometimes it backfires on me........ like a i try so damn hard and making a good idea and yet nothing happens of it...... not like i suck at what i do...but shit........ why cant i get hired??????????........ maybe i'm just toooo far in the hole to get out and be in a firm......i dont know...
aside from that...... just stress in general gets to me...... i have to worry how i'm gonna eat tomorrow and why am i 31 and havent even made 30,000 a year yet...wtf..........
anyways....
maybe something positive will happen soon.....
K, just find something that makes you happy and use that as your crutch
b
On this exact day one year ago, I was starting to fall into a really deep depression myself. It was very uncharacteristic for me, but I hated everything and almost everyone....I kept trying to find the bright side but every time I did, I ended up crying. I'm not sure what exactly brought me out of it.....I think talking it out with my friends helped a lot, but I just couldn't even talk at first, so that was hard. I tried to focus energy on my grad school applications - which really needed to get done at the time - and that helped too. And then something completely ridiculous happened that made me realize that sometimes life is just sh*tty and you have to ride out the rough patches and hope that it will get better with time, and it usually does.
Talking with someone about it will help a lot. In the meantime, I will suggest looking for things that make you smile in unexpected places. Just know that there are many people who go through this every day, and you are not alone.
smile...
I sincerely appreciate the concern and the fact that many of you have the courage to step up and share similar experiences. I wish for that courage. I am a professional, older than most, and the same age as others. I have been through a lot in the passed 5 or so years and got through much of the malaise. I have been through this kind of thing before, I have also seen a professional as well - the experience was quite helpful. It's remarkable to me that we can seemingly have everything we aspire to, and yet are unfulfilled, and sad. So much of me wants more than the obvious, and so much of me feels that expressing this openly to ones that care about you seems like a burden, like hey, what you think my life is some kind of party, get with it, snap to! I am sure many came to this thread thinking that, this is BS, she/he is not real, that this is some fishing expedition, it's not, it's real and it really blows.
It's even worse when fictional characters - be they real humans or cartoon characters - and HBO shows mimic aspects of you and your life, right down to the regret you know you will have when you are 65 and thinking that having children to share your life with would have been great...
A large part of me needs more than what I seem to offer to myself.
Talking and writing and hopefully creating - and by that I mean CREATING in the creative sense - will provide me some desparately needed elixir.
Thanks,
Yours Truly,
JAL
except for the wife part, i could have posted this.
Mr. K.... I would suggest a puppy....cause they give you unconditional LOVE and you don't have to worry about
sending them off to College! Serious I can associate
with your problems, my sister (almost a twin), has had
her bouts and also my first wife with depression.
I will also say the best thing I ever did for my first wife
was to pull her out of bed in the morning and take her
for a walk. It isn't as easy as it sounds so you might want
to explain it to your wife or someone else who will make sure
you get out at the start of the day and go for a brisk walk.
Don't be surprised if you will have a hard time doing this at first but
there is nothing like tuning into nature, the wind blowing in your face,
the smell of fall the delight of snowflakes which will slowly turn your thoughts around. You can also take your new puppy buddy with you.
I find in amazing every day I walk with my two boys (dogs). They are
so keen on everything when we are out and about and they just love to go.....standing at the door waiting for their gentle leaders.
Anyhow wish you the very best. It is good to be talking to someone,
and if there is no match, don't waste your time...move on to another one. However I found , the most important thing is to be honest with yourself and offer up yourself as an open book when you find a professional your comfortable with, and you will get better.
MAY LIFE BE GOOD!
eat pumpkin seeds
my co-worker just told me that they are an anti-depressant
i just put my business card on my pharmacist's cork board. i made sure it was in the area with few real estate agents'. it already gives me some hope. i am not on prozac or anything.
i sunk few ships but i am a good swimmer by now.
i don't like the kevorkian part. enjoy your depression. it is no fun but necessary. i usually get depressed on gray days. tina asks if i "got the gray davies yet?" on such days, like today...
also, i was unhappy that my wireless modem adopter was not working all day, i just restarted the verizon dsl modem. viola. fuckin' a lil things like that make me happy.
hot spicy tai food might help.......
cryzko...how fast can you work on models? YOU BACKED UP?
Strange happenings last night. I am on the bus home and this guy asks me about my shoes, and whether or not they were Abercrombie, then a couple of comments about rich suburban white kids, and then he says, "My coat's from Joseph." Well, my stupid naive and out of touch - into my own problems - looks at him at says "What's Joseph...?" He tells me he got it for free from the shelter and some guy named Joseph owned it...I realized I had not really looked at him and was embarassed, because how often do I really LOOK at those in "distress?"
I was humbled by the moment, flustered by my speechlessness, and mindful of the fact that life was never this "good" and times have been rough in my life and I should be thankful that I am quite fortunate. I have a degree, I have a license, and I have a job.
It was then that I got off the bus.
5 Minutes later I found myself in a catholic church, and I am not even catholic, but something about the catholic religion - probably the ritual[s] - has always caught my attention. I just sat for about 1/2 hour, in the quiet, thinking, listening, watching, watching the woman genuflect in front of me, kiss the floor and pray.
I wonder.
I left for home.
Still thinking about all of this.
JAL
I think there's something to be said for finding some sort of space that feels sacred, regardless of whether it's a church pew, a temple shrine, a park bench, or a special spot out in the forest. As architects, we're always keenly in touch with our physical surroundings, and this can be a blessing and a curse.
Don't beat yourself up for having it better than some other people, though. While it's good to keep things in perspective and to be grateful for what you have, it's also important not to trivialize your own problems, or feel guilty for having problems that might not be as bad as somebody else's. Getting past that guilt was a big step for me in dealing with my own depression issues.
i'm free snooker.... i dont have anything on my plate.......
email me cryzko
just did...hahaha......
This is a very sad post.
cryzko....responded to both.
I disagree, whistler. I see this post as a positive.. as departure towards change. How many of us have been through rough times? How many of us have reached out to the people we know and love, or to ones we don't? It takes courage and confidence to acknowledge doubt and uncertainty.
It is also a pretty amazing thing to see the heart felt responses above.
Kevorkian
do you volunteer your time to any organazations??? I used to work with Habitat for Humanity (that is a thread in and off itself) and felt like I was giving back. I think that many of us (myself included) feel empty and depressed because our modern lives dont really involve much 'giving' back
you are obviously a very compassionate individual, and maybe you are feeling pain because you want to give back, but arent
For all I know you could be running a volunteer organazation, so this is just a hypothesis
Wow....I agree 100% with mdler, his advise is spot on. It was transferance - you begin to see yourself within a context of reality. Knowing that you live and what you make of it benefits someone else
Kevorkian...your first step might be to change your name - maybe something that recognises that it can get better, and will
dr.antiphil
I forgot another thing about last night. I get home, have dinner and about an hour in I get a phone message from the Barrack Obama campaign, they were looking for me to go door to door and go to Caucus training sessions. I thought that I would call back today at break and chip in for the cause. A dog huh? Couldn't hurt.
My meeting tonight should be interesting. I think she is just a therapist and not an MD so prescribing meds might not be possible. I wonder though, sometimes I get this sense that this issue is more chemical and less "emotional" some part of my brain feels foggy and depleted. I can't quite explain it other than I "feel" different.
When the euphoria of the good times fades and is replaced with this, what else would you call it?
JAL
Kevorkian
what kind of food do you eat on a regular basis....organic or McDonalds???
If you think it is chemical, you should look at you diet and what you are putting in your body. Maybe a change in food is in order
where is the 'doctor' when you need him?
can you help him sameolddoctor?
also, why do you have this name?
Actually, I eat real healthy, I am pretty much a vegetarian. It seems beyond dietary and more of something else; I am not a doctor, but some part of me wonders if I am somewhat manic-depressive.
Name?
Sardonically fitting I thought.
sorry mr k i was talking to sameold. have you tried exercise? always helps me.
Marriage.
!Thanks! I'm here all week!....
maybe you need to eat more meat
K - Though this therapist cannot prescribe meds if he/she deems it necessary, she/she will refer to someone who can whether it be your family physician or a psychiatrist.
Mr K, aye? Anyone else humming that Beatles song?
"The Hendersons will all be there
Late of Pablo Fanques Fair-what a sense
Over men and horses hoops, and garters
Lastly through a hogshead of real fire!
In this way Mr. K will challenge the world!
Manic-depression is characterized by severe highs followed by severe lows, Extreme behavior at both ends and difficulty functioing in what we would consider "normal life", keeping a job, focusing on one idea/task, maintaining responsibility, etc. I have several family members who suffer with this as well as clinical depression. Two of my aunts are bipolar.
My immediate family was hit hard by my mother's depression, which really set in almost 14 years ago, though she had short bouts of it earlier in life. Hers was caused by a chemical imbalance resulting from a birth-control shot and exacerbated by the pick and choose medicating methods. I exaggerate in no way when I say I became mom to younger siblings over night. It's not always something that can be overcome easily or even mitigated, but it's good you're seeking the help you might need sooner rather than later. And if you were manic, you probably would not admit to it. Denial is a huge part of their behavior as well. At least that's been my experience with the illness.
mr k if your feeling those highs and lows....do get help and work hard to find someone who can help...like I said earlier be and open book so they can come to understand what is going on. I think you will find you can lead a good life once you get things under control.
gawd, don't move to seattle.
the sun set @ 4.30 tonight.
and i'd kill to have too much work.
as far as diet, I found omega 3 supplements to help, as well as walks in the sun (didn't matter morning or afternoon, but had to be at least partly sunny), exercise, and concious elimination of people or situations that negatively impact me from my life, all to help.
Starting out with someone not wielding a prescription pad is a good thing!
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