Let's say you have two architects in a crazy-ass relationship; both are relatively young, talented, a lil crazy, really trying to get a jumpstart in their careers, mildly depressive, and with enough baggage to fill an airplane.
No you aren't. My partner is my wife (not married but a long time together); we have two kids; and we are still alive. Today I'm angry at her but it'll stop eventually. The hardest part is definitely to spend your whole fuckin' time together, and of course there's no financial independence, not to mention the fact that if the office bankrupt, then eveybody is screwed (which will happen soon).
So you're not doomed but be preapared for a long, painful career start.
Just keep this in mind: Everyone has enough baggage to fill an airplane. You can work with the baggage you already know or go through the process of discovering a new person's baggage, it doesn't matter: everyone has baggage.
French's question is the best at sussing out this situation. Do you have something to work on together which will act as an avatar of "working" on your relationship?
At least you share a common interest, and this can be both a great thing and a disaster.
No you aren't. My partner is my wife (not married but a long time together); we have two kids; and we are still alive. Today I'm angry at her but it'll stop eventually. The hardest part is definitely to spend your whole fuckin' time together, and of course there's no financial independence, not to mention the fact that if the office bankrupt, then eveybody is screwed (which will happen soon).
So you're not doomed but be preapared for a long, painful career start.
I would say that the relationship going forward probably will be a lot like it is today, only with more stress than you have now. How's that going to play out for the two of you ... do YOU think you can handle it without killing each other?
It really doesn't matter at all what we think.
Partnerships are stressful under any set of circumstances -- what you have to figure out is how much stress you are willing to accommodate and how you're going to handle that stress when it starts to build.
"crazy-ass relationship" and "mildly depressive" suggests a level of unsustainable intensity that could take a bad turn at some point in the not-so-distant future. that would scare me away, architects or no.
As long as we're talking about it, what about architects and engineers? Like a good, progressive, scary-smart, shy and smoldering type of engineer? Of course, I have no one specific in mind. (!)
Generally speaking, I have found that I'm not very compatible with people in the engineering, medical, financial, mathematic, scientific, or computer science professions. Maybe it's because people in those professions tend to be more "left-brained" while I'm extremely "right-brained". But there are exceptions.
you really need to make sure that architectural dissagrements dont become personal.
just wait and see what happens when your working at different firms competing for the same project.
My wife is my partner. In that order. Wife first. Partner second. Always in the that order. We work well together and disagree often. Be sure to always listen to and respect one another. If you can do that and deal with the stress, you be fine. Oh, and of course you'll need to make some money along the way.
In the past my husband and I have been pretty honest about realizing that we don't work well together (in the professional sense). He's a contractor and while the common interests help, in most cases we get into an boxing match within 30 minutes of working on a project together.
UNTIL we found a project where our roles were more clearly defined. Our current side project has the distinction of NOT ONE argument where I think he his a petulant asshole and he thinks I am a hot-headed bitch. He even admitted that he has made a concious effort not to re-design what I have sent out (thank gawd) and I have taken his advice when it comes to detailing and construction methods.
Ahhhh...the key is for each person to understand their territory and have the respect to keep his or her mouth shut at the appropriate time. tough to do with a 50/50 design relationship...but possible if you have seperate but equal tasks to manage.
As long as we're talking about it, what about architects and engineers?
I'm not familiar with any small multi-disciplinary upstarts. Are project scopes just too overwhelming for more than one area-of-expertise per office? The concept has potential, and there is a greater chance that each principal could exist in his/her own realm without too much stepping-on-toes. However, I've never worked for an architectural firm with in-house consultants. Any thoughts?
I'm willing to be an in-house consultant for an architect... after all, I can't seem to get away from architecture, so I may as well have a fun way to get my daily dose!
Anyway, baggage schmaggage. We ALL have baggage, it's just a matter of realistically assessing whether or not her baggage is the variety that you can embrace, and visa-versa. Nobody can hope for a baggage-free flight, but you've got to suss out whether one of those things is a suitcase bomb or not.
I worked at an architectural/engineering firm for a year and a half and I must admit, it was quite nice. Whenever we had a question or an issue with one of the projects all we had to do was walk across the floor and take care of it. It made it a hell of a lot easier when dealing with the building depts. too and whenever we had to bug them to get our drawings done. The problem though was that the two groups were always butting heads and not just the projects we were all working on. The owners were a lot more lenient on the engineers on a whole. They could mosey in 10 minutes late whereas if we tried something like that, our ass would get reamed. There were never consequences when they didn't make a deadline and while the architects were to stay until all hours of the night to get out random distributions (this company hadn't figured out the nuances of using ftp sites), the engineers made the excuse they didn't know how to put a CD set together or how to actually make the fed-ex software work.
Not sure how I feel about working for such a firm again... I think it would definitely would depend on the actual policies of the company and the culture it maintains
architects +
Hypothetical question:
Let's say you have two architects in a crazy-ass relationship; both are relatively young, talented, a lil crazy, really trying to get a jumpstart in their careers, mildly depressive, and with enough baggage to fill an airplane.
Could it work?
Does is work?
Has it ever?
do they have a comission already?
have never dated another architect so I can't say. I am thinking about asking out an artist though. I need some words of encouragement.
fuck.
we're doomed.
No you aren't. My partner is my wife (not married but a long time together); we have two kids; and we are still alive. Today I'm angry at her but it'll stop eventually. The hardest part is definitely to spend your whole fuckin' time together, and of course there's no financial independence, not to mention the fact that if the office bankrupt, then eveybody is screwed (which will happen soon).
So you're not doomed but be preapared for a long, painful career start.
Just keep this in mind: Everyone has enough baggage to fill an airplane. You can work with the baggage you already know or go through the process of discovering a new person's baggage, it doesn't matter: everyone has baggage.
French's question is the best at sussing out this situation. Do you have something to work on together which will act as an avatar of "working" on your relationship?
At least you share a common interest, and this can be both a great thing and a disaster.
No you aren't. My partner is my wife (not married but a long time together); we have two kids; and we are still alive. Today I'm angry at her but it'll stop eventually. The hardest part is definitely to spend your whole fuckin' time together, and of course there's no financial independence, not to mention the fact that if the office bankrupt, then eveybody is screwed (which will happen soon).
So you're not doomed but be preapared for a long, painful career start.
I agree with you LB. As long as you are aware of each other's baggage and are willing to work with it, you could be fine.
shit.doublepost.sorry
I would say that the relationship going forward probably will be a lot like it is today, only with more stress than you have now. How's that going to play out for the two of you ... do YOU think you can handle it without killing each other?
It really doesn't matter at all what we think.
Partnerships are stressful under any set of circumstances -- what you have to figure out is how much stress you are willing to accommodate and how you're going to handle that stress when it starts to build.
at least an architect understands the entire workaholic design manic lifestyle you have.
yeah but when your partner pisses you off, you have noone to complain to once your back home....
it could be the most wonderful experience or the worst, be honest with each other the truth will come out no matter what.
"crazy-ass relationship" and "mildly depressive" suggests a level of unsustainable intensity that could take a bad turn at some point in the not-so-distant future. that would scare me away, architects or no.
As long as we're talking about it, what about architects and engineers? Like a good, progressive, scary-smart, shy and smoldering type of engineer? Of course, I have no one specific in mind. (!)
Generally speaking, I have found that I'm not very compatible with people in the engineering, medical, financial, mathematic, scientific, or computer science professions. Maybe it's because people in those professions tend to be more "left-brained" while I'm extremely "right-brained". But there are exceptions.
you really need to make sure that architectural dissagrements dont become personal.
just wait and see what happens when your working at different firms competing for the same project.
My wife is my partner. In that order. Wife first. Partner second. Always in the that order. We work well together and disagree often. Be sure to always listen to and respect one another. If you can do that and deal with the stress, you be fine. Oh, and of course you'll need to make some money along the way.
In the past my husband and I have been pretty honest about realizing that we don't work well together (in the professional sense). He's a contractor and while the common interests help, in most cases we get into an boxing match within 30 minutes of working on a project together.
UNTIL we found a project where our roles were more clearly defined. Our current side project has the distinction of NOT ONE argument where I think he his a petulant asshole and he thinks I am a hot-headed bitch. He even admitted that he has made a concious effort not to re-design what I have sent out (thank gawd) and I have taken his advice when it comes to detailing and construction methods.
Ahhhh...the key is for each person to understand their territory and have the respect to keep his or her mouth shut at the appropriate time. tough to do with a 50/50 design relationship...but possible if you have seperate but equal tasks to manage.
"crazy-ass relationship" = great sex
when you get it
Two very good thoughts so far:
Everyone has enough baggage to fill an airplane
As long as we're talking about it, what about architects and engineers?
I'm not familiar with any small multi-disciplinary upstarts. Are project scopes just too overwhelming for more than one area-of-expertise per office? The concept has potential, and there is a greater chance that each principal could exist in his/her own realm without too much stepping-on-toes. However, I've never worked for an architectural firm with in-house consultants. Any thoughts?
DCA, I am toying with the idea of an in-house "consultant" right now, if that's what we're calling them :o)
Kidding..... I know what you mean. And I like the idea, because actually I think it would be too hard for me to share design responsibilities.
Yay, smallpotatoes is back! Hi sp!
I'm willing to be an in-house consultant for an architect... after all, I can't seem to get away from architecture, so I may as well have a fun way to get my daily dose!
Anyway, baggage schmaggage. We ALL have baggage, it's just a matter of realistically assessing whether or not her baggage is the variety that you can embrace, and visa-versa. Nobody can hope for a baggage-free flight, but you've got to suss out whether one of those things is a suitcase bomb or not.
Sauerbruch-Hutton (Matthias & Louisa)
FOA (Farshid & Alejandro)
Bolles + Wilson (Julia & Peter)
Asymtope (Hani & Lise-Ann)
Diller Scofidio+Renfro (Liz & Ric)
VenturiScott-Brown and Assoc (Bob & Denise)
it wouldn't be the first time.
uh, why hasn't anyone mentioned getting rid of the baggage? That is usually the healthy thing to do. It is possible people! Otherwise, have fun.
I worked at an architectural/engineering firm for a year and a half and I must admit, it was quite nice. Whenever we had a question or an issue with one of the projects all we had to do was walk across the floor and take care of it. It made it a hell of a lot easier when dealing with the building depts. too and whenever we had to bug them to get our drawings done. The problem though was that the two groups were always butting heads and not just the projects we were all working on. The owners were a lot more lenient on the engineers on a whole. They could mosey in 10 minutes late whereas if we tried something like that, our ass would get reamed. There were never consequences when they didn't make a deadline and while the architects were to stay until all hours of the night to get out random distributions (this company hadn't figured out the nuances of using ftp sites), the engineers made the excuse they didn't know how to put a CD set together or how to actually make the fed-ex software work.
Not sure how I feel about working for such a firm again... I think it would definitely would depend on the actual policies of the company and the culture it maintains
tunamelt: I wonder if your experience was typical of A/E firms or just a specific aspect of the culture of the firm...
I wonder if it also makes a difference if you had tapped some engineering ass :o)
DCA - that's a question I've always had and would be interested others experiences
DubK - LOL!! said engineer might not be living in LA now either.
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