Thom Mayne - put a revolver on the table - one bullet - have Kenneth Frampton sit across the table peppering him with questions, until the shear torture makes him decide to shoot himself.
Zaha - one years supply of Krispy Kremes - 4 boxes a day, a dozen a box
Rem - fill his wardrobe with nothing but K-mart clothing
Eisenman - make him wear polka dot clothing for the rest of his short week and tell him that Libeskind did it
Graves - target drops his line of crap and hires the twins from Design Star to do a new line
Bonus:
Gehry - tell him the government of Antarctica wants a new Guggenheim, but he must maintain residency in their royal palace for the next six years.
wolf priz - make him put out his cigar and wait for the aneurism
murcutt - losen the screws on some of his roof sheeting and watch the beautiful, crisp edge decapitate him
R. mier - remember the scene from the start of 'the cube'? where the guy gets diced into little cubes by the wires comming outa the wall? well, just like that.
Norman foster ... Switch all his shades of gray on the specs for some town hall or other major build somewhere to some nice shades of pink...then leave a shotgun in an appropriate place for when he sees the result.
*boom* brains everywhere, last bit of grey you'll be seeing in his version of post high-tech modernism....
muahahaha
Come to think of it, this isn't the greatest material for a first post. Oh well, heyho...
zaha, don't let her eat the donuts, and
winka, make her eat the donuts.
winka would be stressed out of her mind thinking about all the fat she's injesting, and zaha would loose it because her body depends on the sugar and fat.
give eisenman's bow tie to koolhaas, force him to wear it. 2 birds one stone. eisenman is bow tie deprived and koolhaas can't look at himself in the mirror [besides the hot air can't flow all that well with the neck constrictions, eisenman has evolved around it]
IM Pei – fuelling the conspiracy theories surrounding his work, he is killed in a mafia hit while excavating under the inverted pyramid at the Louvre, some think it is the work notorious pulp fiction boss DB.
Eisenman - carefully remove his bow-tie, tenderly, whisper sweet nothings in his ear about those nasty Krier boys, undo the top button of his shirt, let him breathe a little, get comfortable, and start chanting softly, "palimpsest, palimpsest...." and then...I'd punch him in the throat until his larynx exploded.
Thanks Katze - NYC's full of 'em. No worries finding plenty of competent professional help to smooth out all those ugly psychic wrinkles - I feel better already.
I was thinking about playing this game, but decided I do not like the rules. So, I am off this thread. <Grand bow, 3 times, stage left, stop bow again, catch a rose in mid air, kiss it, bow again, stage left>
le bossman, that's mean, and too realistic, unless you are friends with Bill and he knows you're joking. Can we please stick to the "death by doughnut" type scenarios here?
Hand me any five starchitects, I'll just smother them with love.
make each of the starchitects that have done buildings in the midwest - hadid, chipperfield, graves, berke, stern, eisenman, gehry, etc - tour the facility each designed with a group from an eastern kentucky aarp bus tour.
oh...my apologies. i thought the realism would be entertaining given the absurdity of the context. these opinions don't represent the views of archinect or its constituents.
5-Starchitects You'd Off First - And How You'd Do It
Topic is self explanatory, i'll start.
Thom Mayne - put a revolver on the table - one bullet - have Kenneth Frampton sit across the table peppering him with questions, until the shear torture makes him decide to shoot himself.
Zaha - one years supply of Krispy Kremes - 4 boxes a day, a dozen a box
Rem - fill his wardrobe with nothing but K-mart clothing
Eisenman - make him wear polka dot clothing for the rest of his short week and tell him that Libeskind did it
Graves - target drops his line of crap and hires the twins from Design Star to do a new line
Bonus:
Gehry - tell him the government of Antarctica wants a new Guggenheim, but he must maintain residency in their royal palace for the next six years.
i know, so original....
ando... buy up all the rockite in town the night before his project is due; he takes care of the rest?
hahaha, loving Zaha's.
Libeskind - a lifetime supply of pork branded as beef.
wolf priz - make him put out his cigar and wait for the aneurism
murcutt - losen the screws on some of his roof sheeting and watch the beautiful, crisp edge decapitate him
R. mier - remember the scene from the start of 'the cube'? where the guy gets diced into little cubes by the wires comming outa the wall? well, just like that.
live by the grid, die by the grid.
Eisenman + Calatrava - barenuckled duel to the death, mortal kombat style.
Brad Pit.....let his women at him!
Norman foster ... Switch all his shades of gray on the specs for some town hall or other major build somewhere to some nice shades of pink...then leave a shotgun in an appropriate place for when he sees the result.
*boom* brains everywhere, last bit of grey you'll be seeing in his version of post high-tech modernism....
muahahaha
Come to think of it, this isn't the greatest material for a first post. Oh well, heyho...
Just Sent FedEx
ZAHA HADID ARCHITECTS
STUDIO 9,
10 BOWLING GREEN LANE,
LONDON EC1R OBQ
TEL 020 7253 5147
FAX 020 7251 8322
JM- welcome :-)
Kipnis (just a wanna be theorist)- lock him in an all-you-can-eat-buffet till he explodes.
Winka- pour a bucket of water on her and wait for either her to melt (like in Oz) or her leather pants to shrink so much that her legs go gangrenous.
Eisenmann would be a good candidate for chinese water torture- drip, drip, drip.....
rem: lock him in an airtight room until he suffocates on his own hot air.
you mean i only get five???
nah, i'd say:
zaha, don't let her eat the donuts, and
winka, make her eat the donuts.
winka would be stressed out of her mind thinking about all the fat she's injesting, and zaha would loose it because her body depends on the sugar and fat.
give eisenman's bow tie to koolhaas, force him to wear it. 2 birds one stone. eisenman is bow tie deprived and koolhaas can't look at himself in the mirror [besides the hot air can't flow all that well with the neck constrictions, eisenman has evolved around it]
Frampton: stereotomically assassinated with a tectonic peice of material then buried below the roofwork in the earthwork? I tried
IM Pei – fuelling the conspiracy theories surrounding his work, he is killed in a mafia hit while excavating under the inverted pyramid at the Louvre, some think it is the work notorious pulp fiction boss DB.
]http://i.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/020913/152558__sopranos_l.jpg[/img][/url]
bill massie...i'd shoot him in the face
Eisenman - carefully remove his bow-tie, tenderly, whisper sweet nothings in his ear about those nasty Krier boys, undo the top button of his shirt, let him breathe a little, get comfortable, and start chanting softly, "palimpsest, palimpsest...." and then...I'd punch him in the throat until his larynx exploded.
Whoops, gotta get to therapy. Later.
I got a good therapist lined up for ya LostInSpace...2PM tomorrow. Take the day off:)
Thanks Katze - NYC's full of 'em. No worries finding plenty of competent professional help to smooth out all those ugly psychic wrinkles - I feel better already.
I was thinking about playing this game, but decided I do not like the rules. So, I am off this thread. <Grand bow, 3 times, stage left, stop bow again, catch a rose in mid air, kiss it, bow again, stage left>
le bossman, that's mean, and too realistic, unless you are friends with Bill and he knows you're joking. Can we please stick to the "death by doughnut" type scenarios here?
Hand me any five starchitects, I'll just smother them with love.
(and that definitely includes Brad Pitt)
make each of the starchitects that have done buildings in the midwest - hadid, chipperfield, graves, berke, stern, eisenman, gehry, etc - tour the facility each designed with a group from an eastern kentucky aarp bus tour.
Calatrava and gehry - make them work only with rulers. draw nothing but strait lines.
Koolhaas - make him design a house shaped like a flower.
H & deM - make them use eastern european non qualified workers for doing the fancy details.
"...smother them with love..." LB will you be my Mom? Alright Eisenman, you're off the hook this time pal, a little pat on the head and your off.
Zaha- no black in the wardrobe !
oh...my apologies. i thought the realism would be entertaining given the absurdity of the context. these opinions don't represent the views of archinect or its constituents.
you could probably off the whole profession by instituting a statutory regulation stating that no architect could ever wear black again...
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