I am a young architect (30) and need some advice. i am somewhat new to my firm (8 months) and am finding myself butting heads alot with this arrogant "professor type" guy who's the same age, but thinks he owns the firm's young voice, as well as this small town's design voice. He is very outspoken, annoying - everytime I listen to him I begin rolling my eyes cause all he does is spew garbage like a wannabe intellectual prof.
He continually ignores me when I try to bring new ideas into the discussion. It's come to the point at which I've given up trying, I'm so fed up with his bs. and ignoring my ideas seemingly on purpose (looking down on me). I'm thinking he feels threatened, does that sound right? He has more of an intellectual background (masters), but I have a much better professional background, having worked at two large internationally important firms.
Thoughts on how to handle this situation? (serious responses please - I know I could go meet him in a dark alley and beat the crap out his nerdy ass)
Thanks archies!
depends on how much you like the job overall and, more specifically, the project you are working on? could you be transfered to another project? if not, could you tolerate him until the project is over? or could you juist pour yourself into the work, and state your case by following through your ideas before pitching them to mr. professor?
bottom line is that it is not worth fighting; arrogant people don't and won't change for one person. I say tough it out, if you like the job/project, but dont hold back your opinion. just voice it and if he has a problem with your opinions, just shrug your shoulders and continue to explain yourself. be confident, competent, and yet restrained. dont let it get to you. i mean, who the hell is he, right?
Although I can appreciate the dark alley idea, it's not professional. I have encountered this type of person before. Mason hit it right on the nose! he'll eventually get tired and his ego will force him to explode and make an ass out of himself. At that point you ask "what's the problem/what's going on?" in a very calm and "arrogant" way. The goal is getting him fired! I've seen it before and it's the most rewarding thing in the world.
Let him be pompus; at some point it will bite him in the ass. If he can produce quality work to back up his 'intellectual' claims, other people in your office will begain to see that he is full of shit.
Have you talked to your superiors about this individual??? Try to get them on your side.
The thing that annoys me is that he is well liked by others in the office. He's the type that in mtgs. cracks the obvious, generic jokes that get the office laugh out of everyone (ya know what I mean?).
Good advice though, I'll just keep it real on my end and screw him
get some office people to go out for drinks. start doing shots with him and drink him under the table until he's a drunken mess and ends up sleeping in a pile of his own vomit . you'll hold a helluva lot of weight over him! otherwise, like they said above, don't hold back your voice because of him and always always keep your cool.
One way I found to deal with people like that is to take your own work to a higher level. I've generally found that the arogant type tends to be complacent with a given situation (work they produce, position they think they fill, the topics they talk about)- so take it up a notch and put them out of their element (be it how you present something, the quality of work, the more aspects your thought covers, constructability, suggestions to make the firm's work better to your principals, etc.).
You mention that this person is a "professor type"- I can only assume they are steering discussions more towards theory and academic approaches. Begin to steer or frame a discussions in both from a "design" and "practice" point of view simultaneously and interchangably; that hopefully will begin to show your sensitivity towards good design but more importantly, knowing how to get it built. Don't change the subject entirely to "practice," but be able to ask questions to challenge them on assumptions they may be making... in a nice calm way.
I agree with the above posts- be restrained, collected, and cool.
you use whatever energies created by your animosity towards someone else's being "screwed" and you will undoubtedly serve your own demise.
thats not the route you want to take.
i think theres an angle to every single human being on this planet. and the arch you speak of, based on his level of fickleness, has many angles. i'd go with the wave at first- but ride on the top of it. give him some compliments every once in a while- little b.s. ones that dont really matter, but to a pompous fool like him would make his day. not enough to be called ass kissing, but enough to seem genuine while still maintaining your manhood. keep him in conversation- and on the upkeep- get HIM on your good side- and from that angle, you could slowly begin to socially break him down- and with your talent and experience (providing you actually do possess these qualities) begin to outshine him in meetings and critiques. all the while still throwin him leftover compliments in public(to keep his negativity from being spit at you) with him not knowing the better.....you'd feel more comfortable in that the office isnt ostricizing you but then begin to see how they all react to your inclusion and exclusion of him....
I'm going to start a betting pool...maybe with more gmail addresses as prizes...the winner has to make the closest guess on how long it takes for a new discussion to turn to either (a) sex or (b) sexual organs.
no, I was just thinking of why manhood had anything to do with it. And then I got bored, then I thought about manhood.
My comment is a knowingly asinine reaction to your unwittingly asinine comment. Manhood indeed!...so someone sans manhood deserves to be in such a submissive role..no?
And don't call my comments asinine, it really hurts..*sniffle*
I approved of the manhood comment! Manhood is what this thread is really all about. Women don't have issues like this. Women have issues about being talked about behind their backs and feeling "used". Not being annoyed by some insecure pompous ass with too much education and too little work to keep him busy. It's more important to men to feel like they are the top dog and there's nothing wrong with that. That's the way you guys are built.
Ewos and Kyll give excellent advice. More than likely it has nothing to do with you. He's just very attached to his own voice. It's all about how good he sounds to himself. I have one in my office, I know what you're talking about. You don't by chance sit 2 spaces from the window, do you? :)
Can he design? If not, eff him. Make nice (Read the following) I Ching, The Art of War, Machiavelli's The Prince, The Tao of Leadership. Continue to do your thing as best you can. If he's not the Boss, he's not as big of a problem as you may think. Be pragmatic, show compassion, choose your battles wisely. Hopefully he's not a "sideler" with regard to the good work you may do. If all else fails, threaten to beat the crap out of him when there's no one else around.
Mum must be a ventriloquist for all womankind, knowing what they all suffer. And simultaneously for all mankind...howl language and all. What a gifted hound.
i just like using the word as-inine (no pun intended, really) my wit has no end, friend. only when its not candy-coated with sarcasm does it hurt, so no sniffling.
dj: dont beat on him. or curse him out at a mid-day desk crit. he will quickly arm himself with mindless office people at his side to crap talk behind your back- all but sealing your pink papers at that office
asinine is,in fact, is an etymological sibling of ass (Latin asinnus, of an ass, from asinus, ass). Breaking asinine to as-inine does not result in a pun..intended or not. Do look up good illustrations of punning... that is if you can make time (being so busy worrying over your manhood).
oh do dazzle us with your 'wit'
example (?): "I know I could go meet him in a dark alley and beat the crap out his nerdy ass)"
Advice Needed!
I am a young architect (30) and need some advice. i am somewhat new to my firm (8 months) and am finding myself butting heads alot with this arrogant "professor type" guy who's the same age, but thinks he owns the firm's young voice, as well as this small town's design voice. He is very outspoken, annoying - everytime I listen to him I begin rolling my eyes cause all he does is spew garbage like a wannabe intellectual prof.
He continually ignores me when I try to bring new ideas into the discussion. It's come to the point at which I've given up trying, I'm so fed up with his bs. and ignoring my ideas seemingly on purpose (looking down on me). I'm thinking he feels threatened, does that sound right? He has more of an intellectual background (masters), but I have a much better professional background, having worked at two large internationally important firms.
Thoughts on how to handle this situation? (serious responses please - I know I could go meet him in a dark alley and beat the crap out his nerdy ass)
Thanks archies!
depends on how much you like the job overall and, more specifically, the project you are working on? could you be transfered to another project? if not, could you tolerate him until the project is over? or could you juist pour yourself into the work, and state your case by following through your ideas before pitching them to mr. professor?
bottom line is that it is not worth fighting; arrogant people don't and won't change for one person. I say tough it out, if you like the job/project, but dont hold back your opinion. just voice it and if he has a problem with your opinions, just shrug your shoulders and continue to explain yourself. be confident, competent, and yet restrained. dont let it get to you. i mean, who the hell is he, right?
Although I can appreciate the dark alley idea, it's not professional. I have encountered this type of person before. Mason hit it right on the nose! he'll eventually get tired and his ego will force him to explode and make an ass out of himself. At that point you ask "what's the problem/what's going on?" in a very calm and "arrogant" way. The goal is getting him fired! I've seen it before and it's the most rewarding thing in the world.
mason white wrote a good advice. maintain your calm and determination.
Let him be pompus; at some point it will bite him in the ass. If he can produce quality work to back up his 'intellectual' claims, other people in your office will begain to see that he is full of shit.
Have you talked to your superiors about this individual??? Try to get them on your side.
Good advice guys.
The thing that annoys me is that he is well liked by others in the office. He's the type that in mtgs. cracks the obvious, generic jokes that get the office laugh out of everyone (ya know what I mean?).
Good advice though, I'll just keep it real on my end and screw him
Well I'm glad you got everything worked out. There's so much positive energy on this thread, its too bad we can't keep it going...
get some office people to go out for drinks. start doing shots with him and drink him under the table until he's a drunken mess and ends up sleeping in a pile of his own vomit . you'll hold a helluva lot of weight over him! otherwise, like they said above, don't hold back your voice because of him and always always keep your cool.
I will use my contempt for him towards motivation and self improvement
thats a good attitude.... hang in there; it will be his problem when he realizes you aren't going to back down or shy away.
One way I found to deal with people like that is to take your own work to a higher level. I've generally found that the arogant type tends to be complacent with a given situation (work they produce, position they think they fill, the topics they talk about)- so take it up a notch and put them out of their element (be it how you present something, the quality of work, the more aspects your thought covers, constructability, suggestions to make the firm's work better to your principals, etc.).
You mention that this person is a "professor type"- I can only assume they are steering discussions more towards theory and academic approaches. Begin to steer or frame a discussions in both from a "design" and "practice" point of view simultaneously and interchangably; that hopefully will begin to show your sensitivity towards good design but more importantly, knowing how to get it built. Don't change the subject entirely to "practice," but be able to ask questions to challenge them on assumptions they may be making... in a nice calm way.
I agree with the above posts- be restrained, collected, and cool.
maybe he fancies you and so deflects it the other way?
He sounds a bit like me...how annoying :(
hmm...
i'll tell ya what
you use whatever energies created by your animosity towards someone else's being "screwed" and you will undoubtedly serve your own demise.
thats not the route you want to take.
i think theres an angle to every single human being on this planet. and the arch you speak of, based on his level of fickleness, has many angles. i'd go with the wave at first- but ride on the top of it. give him some compliments every once in a while- little b.s. ones that dont really matter, but to a pompous fool like him would make his day. not enough to be called ass kissing, but enough to seem genuine while still maintaining your manhood. keep him in conversation- and on the upkeep- get HIM on your good side- and from that angle, you could slowly begin to socially break him down- and with your talent and experience (providing you actually do possess these qualities) begin to outshine him in meetings and critiques. all the while still throwin him leftover compliments in public(to keep his negativity from being spit at you) with him not knowing the better.....you'd feel more comfortable in that the office isnt ostricizing you but then begin to see how they all react to your inclusion and exclusion of him....
works
i do it all the time...
maintaining your manhood?
Why? Is this drifting back to castration and/or sex change operations?
..maintain your man's hood..ok, cut or uncut?
uhm...maintain manhood...
ok
once again- an explanation:
dont be a bitch about it
dont come off as if you want to perform fellatio on the guy
dont let the idea of you being soft come about your behavior
anything else needed cleared? or are asinine comments just something that comes about naturally on these threads?
I'm going to start a betting pool...maybe with more gmail addresses as prizes...the winner has to make the closest guess on how long it takes for a new discussion to turn to either (a) sex or (b) sexual organs.
I think this one did it in just 2 hours and 59 minutes.
no, I was just thinking of why manhood had anything to do with it. And then I got bored, then I thought about manhood.
My comment is a knowingly asinine reaction to your unwittingly asinine comment. Manhood indeed!...so someone sans manhood deserves to be in such a submissive role..no?
And don't call my comments asinine, it really hurts..*sniffle*
I approved of the manhood comment! Manhood is what this thread is really all about. Women don't have issues like this. Women have issues about being talked about behind their backs and feeling "used". Not being annoyed by some insecure pompous ass with too much education and too little work to keep him busy. It's more important to men to feel like they are the top dog and there's nothing wrong with that. That's the way you guys are built.
Ewos and Kyll give excellent advice. More than likely it has nothing to do with you. He's just very attached to his own voice. It's all about how good he sounds to himself. I have one in my office, I know what you're talking about. You don't by chance sit 2 spaces from the window, do you? :)
Can he design? If not, eff him. Make nice (Read the following) I Ching, The Art of War, Machiavelli's The Prince, The Tao of Leadership. Continue to do your thing as best you can. If he's not the Boss, he's not as big of a problem as you may think. Be pragmatic, show compassion, choose your battles wisely. Hopefully he's not a "sideler" with regard to the good work you may do. If all else fails, threaten to beat the crap out of him when there's no one else around.
Mum must be a ventriloquist for all womankind, knowing what they all suffer. And simultaneously for all mankind...howl language and all. What a gifted hound.
Thanks for the urine stain..a terratorial marcaje
"...dogs also play dead"
yeah women are never ever backbiting, uh uh no way never happens....
Wurd.
uh oh... i just had to google hollister. am i unhip?
So did I, and yes you (we) are. Loox quite fruity, in an Abercrombie sort of way...
...California Soul... Marlena Shaw has been sullied for sure.
people get boots in their rear around here for wearing hollister
sleep whith his wife / girlfriend / boyfriend
apologies.
i just like using the word as-inine (no pun intended, really) my wit has no end, friend. only when its not candy-coated with sarcasm does it hurt, so no sniffling.
dj: dont beat on him. or curse him out at a mid-day desk crit. he will quickly arm himself with mindless office people at his side to crap talk behind your back- all but sealing your pink papers at that office
asinine is,in fact, is an etymological sibling of ass (Latin asinnus, of an ass, from asinus, ass). Breaking asinine to as-inine does not result in a pun..intended or not. Do look up good illustrations of punning... that is if you can make time (being so busy worrying over your manhood).
oh do dazzle us with your 'wit'
example (?): "I know I could go meet him in a dark alley and beat the crap out his nerdy ass)"
make nice
nothing more worser than bickering on thread
manhood secure. not worry.
(sucked all wit outta me last time, sorry for any misuse of pun, spell, vocabulary excetra, excetra)
no time to look up witty comments in my wit-filled, pun inflictor manual
or i lost it
so send me your copy....or one of your copies...
ask him out
outside to fight or just out to dinner?
better still ask if he wants to come out as gay.
Sorry for the previous post, but i find the patronising drivel of DJ offensive. Advice Needed! Cut the crap and go Metric.....
I'm losing it......
"patronising drivel of DJ offensive"
umm, ok
"I'm losing it......"
no shiit sherlock
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