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please review my cover letter and resume

spaceghost
download here

any comments or suggestions are welcome. i have been staring at this for a while so some additional eyes on it would be very helpful.

is the coverletter too generic? how much customization do you put into each coverletter? i am afraid there are to many "i" sentences but i want to be talking about me; right? is there some skill set i am completely forgetting to list that would be more important than the ones i've listed? would you put my name on the page that is just an image? i probably should, but i like how it looks as is. these are just questions to start a discussion, please anything you see is helpful.

also if you have some spare time i asked a few questions here.

more resume coverletter questions

thank you very much for your help, i really appreciate it.

 
Jan 19, 06 1:57 pm
ochona

few minor things:

--it's bachelor of architecture or bachelor's degree in architecture but not "bachelors of architecture"...i think the abbreviation B.Arch would be even more acceptable.
--it's Koenig, not Koening.
--my personal opinion: lose the images. you never know who is going to print this out on a cheap inkjet set on "draft" and i guarantee you, they won't bother to reprint it on "best quality" after they see it. show your creativity and sense of design through typography and sheet composition/organization alone.
--personal question (one you'll be asked surely): why the gap between may 99 and your first job in january 2000? not like it means anything but.
--customize for each firm. make it look like you've researched what they have done and what they do. mention specific projects. go to their website. make it look like you're not just sending out a form letter and resume. find out who the contact is at each firm for a start.

Jan 19, 06 3:05 pm  · 
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ochona

i wasn't making a value judgment, by the way, on the quality of your images, btw ... i was trying to say that you are sending things to busy busy people

Jan 19, 06 3:06 pm  · 
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spaceghost

ochona.

thank you for taking the time to look things over and for your comments. i didn't know the bachelor of architecture vs bachelors of architecture. the koenig was a 3am error. i am somewhat conflicted on the images too. part of me thinks like you if they print it out they might get a crappy version, at the same time if it is on draft it will look crappy with just text too. the images are my way to slip a little of my portfolio to them before i get a chance to interview. no need to qualify your statements either. i've been through the review process long enough that i don't take most comments on my work personally.

the gap in time falls is a job i took right after school. i felt that experience was less relevant than the work experience i have gained else where. i also left off the work i did while i was in school. to put it simply i just needed the space for current work.

Jan 19, 06 3:23 pm  · 
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R.A. Rudolph

I agree that customizing the letters may help your chances - depending on size of firm (I'd think that the smaller the firm, the more they'd appreciate if you want to work there because of specific projects they've done or their design philosophy). Whether you have the time & energy to do this also depends on how many firms you're looking at and how quickly you need a new job - I would try to narrow your search down to maybe 4 firms to start with, and really concentrate on them - you'll also have better chance if you have a contact in the office who can even minimally push your resume...
I would remove the images as well - makes the pages busy and the quality will not be great. That will give you more room to space out the text graphically and make it a bit easier to read. You could do a separate sheet for "work samples" and include that, especially if you're mailing the resume. If you're e-mailing than the recipient can choose to print it out or not.
The first few sentences of your letter put me off - it all depends on who is reading it, but to me the 'making and meaning' of architecture doesn't make much sense to me beyond that every office has thier own way of working... perhaps you could clarify by explaining that you'd like to work on more design oriented or experiemental projects (if that's the case), or that you are hoping to be involved in design discussions from the beginning (rather than just working on production). If you can tailor yout letter to the specific firm, that will have more impact than making a broad statement that you're interested in theory - in my work experience I have never come across a project where the 'theory' was anything more than addressing the clients' needs, site, budget, etc. - unless you're working on competitions or un-built projects.
Also maybe mention that you're working towards licensing or planning to (if that's the case). I would think for larger firms that would be a bonus.

Jan 19, 06 3:49 pm  · 
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nathanc

Question:

To do multiple page PDFs, do you have to have the full version of Acrobat? I used to get away with dropping images into Powerpoint or Word on multiple pages and export them that way, but it seems they've done away with that feature.

Jan 19, 06 3:56 pm  · 
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ochona

i can do it from my mac and word 2003 or whatever it is

Jan 19, 06 4:04 pm  · 
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spaceghost

R.A. Rudolph: thanks for your review and comments. good idea on starting with 4 firms. i am not in a rush. i am actually going to be taking some time off and finishing a house i have midway through dd as well as finish the licensing process. i am now working on a version without images. if it goes anywhere i will post it as a second option. others have also said the images make it busy. my eye has looked at this so many times that i know where to look and somehow the images fall to the background and provide edges for the text. i am also going to make an attempt at revising the first paragraph. i had a feeling it was too much archibabble, but i wasnt really sure how to start the whole thing off.

nathanc: export all of your files seperately. open one and drag the others in. save as. now you have a multipage pdf.

Jan 19, 06 4:06 pm  · 
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nathanc

I'm using 2004 on a Mac and the feature doesn't seem to be there anymore.

Jan 19, 06 4:09 pm  · 
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5

the whole thing is a bit loud. maybe tone it down a bit? think 'underdesign'

Jan 19, 06 4:18 pm  · 
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Hasselhoff

I agree on the images. They take up a huge portion of the page, yet look undersaturated, blurry and jaggy. I don't know if that's how they look in the original, or the print, but as a PDF, they look strange. Also think, if someone has a smaller screen, like the laptop I'm currently using, they look even more out of place.

Issues with the letter:

"...seeking out firms" Seeking out just sounds weird. Agree, customization here is your friend. Not only is that awkward wording, but it makes it sound like you are just picking them from a hat.

"Through USC, I established a rigor..." I think you want to say something more like "While pursuing my studies at USC..." or something like that. Through just isn't the correct word choice. Also, I don't know if you established a rigor. I hate the word rigor anyway, but it sounds really strange in that context. You're basically saying you work hard. I know how it is to write these letters: we are all trying to say "I work hard, hire me!" We all work hard, and going through studio, we all know that even those who don't, lie about it. So the issue is to at least make it sound smooth. Establishing a rigor sounds like you are forcing the catch phrase rigor into the letter.

I think you totally have to focus and personalize these letters. Maybe move the part about what position you are seeking to the beginning, then explain why you are qualified. Anyone else have thoughts on that? I don't know if people really use the term job captain, but it sounds funny.

Maybe give examples of why you think you can work as a team member and as a leader. Are there examples from past jobs that you can cite?

Hope I'm not too off base here. Just trying to help SOMEONE get a job. I think you've hit the points, but it's very generic.

Jan 19, 06 5:07 pm  · 
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Gloominati

My first priority would be to get the images off the resume and letter. I was one of the people who screened resumes in a large firm at one point, and by the time they got to me they were usually 2nd or 3rd generation copies (the originals go straight into the files, seen by nobody but the person who opens the mail.) Almost all images had become black blobs by the time they were copied once or twice.

I agree with others here that you should get your experience level into the first paragraph. Terms like "job captain" and even "project manager" and "designer" have very different meanings from firm to firm, so I'd avoid them. (In some firms "job captain" is a title routinely assigned to 2nd or 3rd year interns who are put in charge of a particular aspect of a project, and/or who are acting as a contact person on a project. In other firms "job captain" is a higher position than "project manager", and requires as much as 10 years of experience.)
So, I would state how many years of experience you have and the fact that you're close to being registered in the first paragraph. I would try to be more clear about your level of responsibilty in previous jobs - for instance did you have your own projects? Did you manage teams on larger projects? If so, what was the project size and budget?

Your resume has a lot of jobs in a short amount of time. Are there any that you think are old enough, or less related to architecture, that you could edit out at this point?

One last thing: if you do decide to customize your letters for each firm, make sure that you've done a good amount of research, and that you're not overstating your real knowledge of the firm and its work. We get a lot of letters with sentences in them like "I have admired your urban design projects for years" (when we've only done one such project, which is well-publicized, but extremely recent.) In another case we had a project in a magazine, and then started getting letters in which the writers claimed to have been inspired by our work when they visited this project - but the project is an interior that is never open to the public!

Jan 19, 06 8:03 pm  · 
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nicomachean

visually i'd adjust the typography. downsize or change that font so that it reads lighter and sharper. really imagine these pages are to be pristine laser cut.

Jan 19, 06 9:05 pm  · 
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pencebor

I would lower the opacity of those images to about 20%.

Jan 19, 06 9:18 pm  · 
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myriam

use "Combine PDF" to make multi-page pdf's on a mac. Download it on versiontracker.

Jan 19, 06 9:30 pm  · 
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nathanc

Myriam, may I buy you a drink?

Jan 19, 06 10:36 pm  · 
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myriam

yes. A sidecar, please.

Jan 20, 06 12:14 am  · 
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LightMyFire66

you may consider staying a bit longer at the next firm you work for, seeing a lot of job-hopping on a resume may easily cause it to be put in the "reject" pile.

Jan 20, 06 1:35 am  · 
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Sean Taylor

My general response would be that it screams "recent grad". The images (both the fact that they are on your cover letter and because they look like undergrad models) and the first couple of paragraphs really convey a recent graduate to me. I was surprised that you had any experience after my first glance. If you want to fill the roll of job captain (or project architect or whatever) I would make the cover letter and resume look and read much more professional and less student(ish).

Also, my personal preference is to receive resumes through snail mail, not e-mail. You might think about that. Also, if you send it e-mail, make it something that downloads quickly.

Jan 20, 06 4:12 pm  · 
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mimo

I would highly recommend making your resume more legible. Adjust the kerning, space your words out a bit more. If you are set on keeping your images, maybe make them all grayscale so they are consistant with each other. You have 2 color images, and then on your resume it is black and white. Maybe tone down the opacity, and make you images more like watermarks . This way, you can run some of your text over the image, and your spacing issues are resolved. Also, it seems a bit odd to me that you are showing one giant zoomed in image on the last page. It isn't the best shot, maybe you can show different projects, disciplines. If your purpose is to give them a sampling of your portfolio i would recommend showing a few smaller images, and not just one giant one.

Best of luck to you and your job search!

Jan 20, 06 5:18 pm  · 
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larslarson

i agree with everyone else...lose the images..if you want to include
project samples that's one thing..i personally have three sample
projects with a number of images from that project stating my
level of inolvment...but i also send it via snailmail...and it's all
built work..no student stuff anymore..except for my thesis...
sometimes just to show that i know how to design...(i also usually
show competition work at the end of interviews..)

the resume is choppy to me...switching between upper and lower
case and different font sizes etc...also the job titles scream corporate
firm to me..i don't think they're necessary personally...let your years
of experience speak for itself..or list your role for each firm more in
terms of what you did..not just a title.

Jan 20, 06 6:04 pm  · 
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Hasselhoff

Picky, but just a thought. Maybe you also want a more professional sounding email address. Just your name at hotmail or something. I don't know how most people feel about that.

Jan 20, 06 6:16 pm  · 
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psycho-mullet

Pretty much reiterating the above.

Unless you're applying for a job as a model builder I'd lose the model photos.

I noticed the email address as well, though it's kind of a silly thing to base HR decisions on.

To be honest, I didn't even read the cover letter.

It of course depends on where you want to work, but in my experience close personal relationships and recomendations are more important than anything. Probably 90 percent of the resumes and portfolios that came through the offices I worked in didn't even get looked at (Particularly if there were no jobs open). One firm I worked at would not look at a protfolio nor hire anyone unless someone whom the principals confided in whole hartedly reccomended that person. If you go to an interview like that with a form letter, it's unneccesary an inappropriate, and in most cases the interview was 90% about your demeanor and personality, "Is this someone I can sit next to for 10 hours a day?" When the answer was no, didn't matter how good your work or qualifications were.

The resume isn't going to seal the deal for you, but it could break it.

Jan 21, 06 4:58 am  · 
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Bula

I agree with Formerlyunknown & LightMyFire66, your current resume would go straight to the can (unless we were in dire need). Weed out one or two of your previous employer references. Most employers are looking for a sense of long term dependability (with the exception of an intern position).

Jan 21, 06 2:08 pm  · 
 · 
Suture

dude,

you have like been totally out of like school for like 5 years dude.
You need to like....hold on its my cell phone
...
...
...
...dude you like so radically need to start looking like more professional in your like resumes and stuff.

Jan 21, 06 3:24 pm  · 
 · 

gotta agree with the surgical reference.

nix pics or make into wee vignettes, as they would mostly convince me to not look at the content. the layout and text is very hard to read, but i made the effort...

...to find that you not only coordinated the consultants but integrated them too. wow. i know it is harsh cuz you probably did just that, but it sounds like complete rubbish. if you didn't do anything more special than a buzzword can cover you should nix the comments and just say you worked there...

same probs with the cover letter. use " I " all you want but if you can i would seriously recommend staying away from filler bits like "enjoy responsibility", "take pleasure in", and "established rigor". it sounds really contrived...sorry.

if you care going to rewrite then try to be more direct, and if you can try to be interesting from the start. the number of letters that cross the desk of even the smallest slightly famous office is amazing, so you have to catch the eye in a sfew econds...

do your research about the people as much as the work they do...if they have a sense of humor then writing "you rock, and i do too; have a look; let's talk..." is (more or less) totally fine as the entire cover letter. if you wanna get more specific then write about how you dig the way they explore materials, or program, details, whatever.


...etc etc etc.

Jan 22, 06 1:08 am  · 
 · 
spaceghost

thanks to everybody for your time reviewing my cover letter and resume. there has been a lot to digest and ive been spending more time with my coverletter and resume. most of my jobs have come as recommendations from professors or previous employers. so yes my resume and cover letter are screaming undergrad because i really haven’t worked on one since then.

so far i've revised my resume and taken the image off.

i know from my resume it looks as if i jumped around from firm to firm a lot over my professional career. this more or less has mostly happened outside of my control. i have worked for two firms who have run out of work and have either been forced to close or lay off the majority of their employees. as many of you know and some of you will find out, there are inherent risks of working at a smaller firm including the ever delicate line of too little work / too much work. if you lose one project you can likely lose your firm or a large part of it, at the same time when you have work you often turn down new work because you have no way to staff an additional project. none of this can be explained in a resume or cover letter and none of it probably should be. excuses are excuses. also two of the firms listed on my resume were simultaneous.

im now working on a new cover letter, or at least reworking the parts that did not work for me, as well as some of the parts i received comments on from you. i am still working on trying to write about myself without it coming off as totally egotistical or complete rubbish. there was lots of good advice on making it more personal. i have been taking some time to research the top eight firms i am interested in and trying to come up with some way of tailoring my resume to them. most of this batch will be sent without a request from the firm i am sending to, a few will be solicited.

a further question about images. how does showing built work if its not mine show what i have done? i mean we all know that architecture is a team environment. we also know that Jorge approves everything that comes out of his office. i mean i might have designed all of the casework in a building, but in any of the firms i have worked for those designs have all crossed the desk of the principal in charge. maybe that is part of working at a small firm. they might have not touched the drawing, at the same time the first thought in my head is what would make the principal in charge happy? the next thought after i make them happy is how do i improve on their happiness. and the last thought if there is time is what would make me happy. anyways since all of these options cross my bosses desk doesn’t this reflect his/her design intentions just as much as mine? where as student work, even if it is a little old, does show my own design interests/aesthetics without outside decision making? i mean is a wowing image page of work from my previous employer really what a potential new employer would want to see? doesn’t it make more sense to go over all of that during an interview when you have the opportunity to clearly point out how you participated? sorry for this long winded question.

would anyone else be willing to post a copy of their resume and coverletter? i read a lot of insightful comments here and wouldn’t doubt you would get a similar response maybe helping you with your next job search. i have been searching a lot of websites on cover letters and resumes lately. the problem is none of them are related to design oriented fields. if you don’t want to post it you could email it to me. i would be happy to keep it confidential.

by the way my email and even my name are just for posting here. i do have a more professional email and name for those looking to hire. should you want to email me please be advised that spaceghost138 at ______ does work.

thanks again to all who took the time to respond. please check back for the second installment, hopefully i will have made a few improvements by the time you see my cover letter and resume next.

Jan 24, 06 3:18 am  · 
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