Go Shorty! It's your Bat Mitzvah! (not quite architecture related)


so this is why we had to arrange a war?

History will forever record Elizabeth Brooks' bat mitzvah as "Mitzvahpalooza."
For his daughter's coming-of-age celebration last weekend, multimillionaire Long Island defense contractor David H. Brooks booked two floors of the Rainbow Room, hauled in concert-ready equipment, built a stage, installed special carpeting, outfitted the space with Jumbotrons and arranged command performances by everyone from 50 Cent to Tom Petty to Aerosmith.

I hear it was garish display of rock 'n' roll idol worship for which the famously irascible CEO of DHB Industries, a Westbury-based manufacturer of bulletproof vests, sent his company jet to retrieve Aerosmith's Steven Tyler and Joe Perry from their Saturday gig in Pittsburgh.

I'm also told that in honor of Aerosmith (and the $2 million fee I hear he paid for their appearance), the 50-year-old Brooks changed from a black-leather, metal-studded suit - accessorized with biker-chic necklace chains and diamonds from Chrome Hearts jewelers - into a hot-pink suede version of the same lovely outfit.

The party cost an estimated $10 million, including the price of corporate jets to ferry the performers to and from. Also on the bill were The Eagles' Don Henley and Joe Walsh performing with Fleetwood Mac's Stevie Nicks; DJ AM (Nicole Richie's fiance); rap diva Ciara and, sadly perhaps (except that he received an estimated $250,000 for the job), Kenny G blowing on his soprano sax as more than 300 guests strolled and chatted into their pre-dinner cocktails.

"Hey, that guy looks like Kenny G," a disbelieving grownup was overheard remarking - though the 150 kids in attendance seemed more impressed by their $1,000 gift bags, complete with digital cameras and the latest video iPod.

For his estimated $500,000, I hear that 50 Cent performed only four or five songs - and badly - though he did manage to work in the lyric, "Go shorty, it's your bat miztvah, we gonna party like it's your bat mitzvah."

At one point, I'm told, one of Fitty's beefy bodyguards blocked shots of his boss performing and batted down the kids' cameras, shouting "No pictures! No pictures!" - even preventing Brooks' personal videographers and photographers from capturing 50 Cent's bat-miztvah moment.

"Fitty and his posse smelled like an open bottle of Hennessy," a witness told told me, adding that when the departing rapper prepared to enter his limo in the loading dock, a naked woman was spotted inside.

I'm told that Petty's performance - on acoustic guitar - was fabulous, as was the 45-minute set by Perry and Tyler, who was virtuosic on drums when they took the stage at 2:45 a.m. Sunday.

Henley, I hear, was grumpy at the realization that he'd agreed to play a kids' party.

I'm told that at one point Brooks leapt on the stage with Tyler and Perry, who responded with good grace when their paymaster demanded that his teenage nephew be permitted to sit in on drums. At another point, I'm told, Tyler theatrically wiped sweat off Brooks' forehead - and then dried his hand with a flourish.

Yesterday, Brooks disputed many details provided to me by Lowdown spies at the affair and by other informed sources, scrawling on a fax to me: "All dollar figures vastly exaggerated."

He added: "This was a private event and we do not wish to comment on details of the party."


Dec 2, 05 2:36 pm

sorry original pics didnt come out

does anybody else find it at all ironic 50c is wearing a huge cross?

Dec 2, 05 2:44 pm

how about does anybody find it ironic that the whole point of a batmitzvah is a serious religious observance?

Dec 2, 05 2:46 pm

and where DID you get those pictures from??

Dec 2, 05 2:48 pm

bat mitzvah as a serious religious observance is so 1922. now it's all about the presents and party.

as for the images do a google search. it's got the innanet goin nuts!

Dec 2, 05 2:55 pm

it might seem like its about the presents and the party. but i think its disgusting that THIS is the way that the Jewish religion is portrayed to those who don't know otherwise.

Dec 2, 05 2:59 pm

Im just an ignant christian, but I didnt think women got Bar Mitzvah's, I thought it was just for little boys to become men?!?!

Dec 2, 05 3:06 pm

i should let somebody who really knows about the jewish religion but i think bar mitzvah's were for boys only. some american rabbi started the bat mitzvah tradition in the 1900's.

i think the whole thing is about becoming of age to read out of the torrah, but like i said i should leave this to somebody who knows...8888?

Dec 2, 05 3:12 pm

in conservative and reform judaism (middle and left on the continuum of observance and interpretation of the bible) women also become bat mitzvah. egalitarianism.

Dec 2, 05 3:15 pm
bar mitzvah

bat mitzvah

any other judaic questions??

Dec 2, 05 3:24 pm

it-s weird but joe perry looks like he had a clone of the girl's face transplanted on his own.

Dec 2, 05 3:46 pm

Yeah, that's scarey.

God Bless Capitalism!!

Dec 2, 05 4:04 pm

the rolling stones played my quinceañera so i dunno why y'all think this is such a big deal. my daddy paid for it all by doing some plastic surgery for mick jagger

Dec 2, 05 4:04 pm

i thought you was a boy ochona?
As the resident hispanic in this thread I can say that quincianera is only for girls.

Dec 2, 05 4:07 pm
vado retro

that cheerleader
she was a real young bleeder.

Dec 2, 05 4:10 pm

i just hope this was all filmed for next season of sweet sixteen on MTV.

Dec 2, 05 4:12 pm

tienes razón, melquiades...fue un chiste, bien hecho. i knew someone whose uncle spent $100,000 on a quinceañera only to have it spoiled when she accidentally revealed to someone at the party that she was pregnant

Dec 2, 05 4:17 pm

Not Being Jewish or Naything,
Arent this things out of hand?
I went to my first and only Bar Mitzvah last year. It was for the son of a very wealthy town in South Florida (Hallandale). I enjoyed the synagogue ceremony, but the party was too much. That much money and spectacle for a 13 year old kid? They deserve a spanking and a time out as far as I am concern... that ought to make them real men!!! spoiled little kids.

Dec 2, 05 4:34 pm

i think shorty's bat mitzvah was more about daddy than shorty

in five years she'll back her hummer into a crowd at a hamptons nightclub and it'll all be over

weddings are what started this crap, and i think our entire society is on that bandwagon that you gotta have a six-figure wedding at LEAST

Dec 2, 05 4:50 pm
in five years she'll back her hummer into a crowd at a hamptons nightclub and it'll all be over

ha ha ha

Dec 2, 05 5:35 pm

Mommy, Steven Tyler looks funny.

Dec 2, 05 11:05 pm

Aeorosmith, aren't that those guys who had a hit with run dmc in the 80's ?

Dec 2, 05 11:56 pm

from the pix javier linked, a sign of the times:

do we no longer hold up lighters at concerts, but camera phones instead? does the concert matter as much as the photographic evidence of having been in attendance?

Dec 3, 05 8:50 am

steven, i saw NIN at the garden and yes the lit up camera phones replaced the lighter...

Dec 3, 05 10:14 am

" Look everyone, look at how rich and popular I am. Dammit look at me! Everyone come here and validate my existence!!! "

Sigh... I wish I had more money so I could buy happiness. I don't even have enough for mild contentment right now.

Dec 3, 05 11:28 am

How much is a rhinoplasty procedure?

That would be my gift for the annoyingly filthy rich whore-in-training that has almost everything.

Dec 3, 05 2:19 pm

i knew a girl in high school who had a nose like that

saw her two years ago at a wedding -- shall we say her nose no longer looked like that

think she had to wait until she was 18

Dec 3, 05 3:04 pm
vado retro

what bands would you have at your daughters bat mitzvah???

i would have wilco
the old 97's
the flaming lips (for the furry animal factor)
and tom jones

Dec 4, 05 10:17 am
FOG Lite

I'm suprised that 50 took a fee at all, I figured he would have asked for a lifetime supply of those military grade bullet-proof vests that Daddy makes.

Dec 4, 05 11:35 am
vado retro

how u think daddy got zo rich gangsta?

Dec 4, 05 12:34 pm

I wonder if petty played "when money becomes king"

whore much, tom?

so much for being the one rock superstar with any sense or class...

Dec 5, 05 1:16 am

just looked at that kodak gallery javier linked

those girls are ~13?

Dec 5, 05 1:24 am

I'm tired of self respect
I can't afford a car
I wanna be a prefab superstar

I wanna be a tool
Don't need no soul
Wanna make big money
Playing rock and roll

I'll make my music boring
I'll play my music slow
I ain't no artist, I'm a business man
No ideas of my own

I won't offend
Or rock the boat
Just sex and drugs
And rock and roll

Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool
My Payola!
Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool
My Payola!

You'll pay ten bucks to see me
On a fifteen foot high stage
Fatass bouncers kick the shit
Out of kids who try to dance

If my friends say
I've lost my guts
I'll laugh and say
That's rock and roll

But there's just one problem

Is my cock big enough
Is my brain small enough
For you to make me a star
Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far

And when I'm rich
And meet Bob Hope
We'll shoot some golf
And shoot some dope

Is my cock big enough?
Is my brain small enough?

Dec 5, 05 1:33 am

vado retro,

when is your daughter having her bat mitzvah? Can I come?

Dec 5, 05 12:14 pm

On a side note, here are some famous jewish architects (don't ask if any actually practice the religion)...

Daniel Libeskind, Frank Gehry, Peter Eisenman, Richard Meier, James Ingo Freed, Eric Owen Moss, Moshe Safdie, Robert A.M. Stern and Zvi Hecker...

Are the many jewish archinectors?

(list from:

Dec 5, 05 2:35 pm

i'm a jewish archinector. i guess that was pretty obvious though. :)

Dec 5, 05 2:50 pm

if those girls in black and red are 13... i don't ever remembering looking like that when i was 13.

Dec 5, 05 2:51 pm

we got ann landers
and her sister dear abby
ochona is a quarter jewish
not too shabby

Dec 5, 05 3:44 pm

I would have hired this guy, I heard his rhymes are dope

Dec 5, 05 6:55 pm
vado retro

half of these geezers coulda played at my bar mitzvah and im over forty!!!

Dec 5, 05 6:58 pm
vado retro

kick out the jams mofo's!!!

Dec 5, 05 7:10 pm

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