Archinect
anchor

Worst Crits

171
FrankLloydMike

my favorite thing a professor ever said to me in a crit was this past semester was in a mid-project review, so it was largely about process and what we were struggling with at the time. I was talking about the vertical circulation in my building and how I wanted it to be expressed, and whether it would be sunken within the building or exposed on the outside. one of my professors, who is from Quebec and only began speaking english a few years ago said, referencing his pregant wife, "You know it's like an innie versus an outtie, and I have to say my wife's belly button right now is an outtie and it is very sexy."

that's not bad, just funny.. but we've also got this one professor who feels the need to say something even when he has nothing constructive, meaningful, thoughtful or interesting to say. I'm not one for circle-jerking and I think there's nothing wrong with deserved ass-reamings, this guy tore people apart for no reason. He's also an older professor from the school's old (and abandoned) more technical-based architecture program, who would fit better in the architectural engineering program. Anyway, my favorite thing that he ever said was once when he got real desperate for something negative to say about a very nice project, "What about squirrels? How does your building address the squirrel problem in this city?" one of the other crits just laughed and said sarcastically, "Yes, there's a real varment problem here."

Jan 11, 06 2:43 pm  · 
 · 
6nuew

I've seen this vid of a student crit by peter eisenman that starts like this:

'Well.... If you handed a typewriter to a monkey..."

Jan 11, 06 3:02 pm  · 
 · 
strlt_typ

ManuG...that's great...do you have a copy?

Jan 11, 06 6:57 pm  · 
 · 
j-turn

you know what's so annoying about this thread? Why are you people protecting these asshole critics by not revealing their names? Let's OUT these bastards!!

For example: My first crit ever was a disaster. My work sucked. I knew it, my mates knew it, my prof knew it, but this bastard VINCE MULCAHY (actually not a bastard - but did step over the line this time) picks up my model and shakes it a bit and then says: "so you're parents are pay $20000 a year for this." Just uncalled for.

Jan 11, 06 7:25 pm  · 
 · 
swisscardlite

wow that sucks j-turn. that's not the vincent mulcahy i used to know during the summer...but crits for high school students probably aren't as bad as the real thing

i'm bracing myself for bad crits at cornell next year!

Jan 11, 06 9:01 pm  · 
 · 
Ms Beary

perhaps this belongs in the confessions thread. but I never had a bad crit in school.
Today, with Mr. Developer, yes, I did. But as soon as I was in my car I burst out laughing.

Jan 11, 06 9:13 pm  · 
 · 
Emerson123

I had a review where the guest critic called my project "maniacal" and asked me if I were to psychoanalyze my project like it were my brain, what would it say? "It's like a prison!!!"

The sad part is I didn't mind hearing that. My project may have looked like a prison, but at least I had the passion enough to be considered a maniac!

Jan 11, 06 11:06 pm  · 
 · 
arch6

I remember back to my first crit with professor teddy cruz. I had just transferred to my school from a community college. The assignment was definately a lot different then anything any of my classmates had ever seen. I volunteered to go first, because I was so tired from not sleeping the night before, that I didn't think I could sit through any of my classmates crits without falling asleep.

As I stood in front of the class and tried to speak I could feel the room start to go dark. I had to ask to leave 1 minute into my presentation and go get a soda so I wouldn't pass out. When I came back I had to present sitting down. I think the first words out of my professors mouth were... if you want to make out there in the real world you have to be able to stand up in the middle of presentations. I turned bright red instantly...

Jan 12, 06 12:06 am  · 
 · 
dia

In my second year, I made the mistake of having an energy drink just before my crit. Compounded with my lack of sleep, I slurred and wandered through a veritable landscape of wild ideas, bizzare notions and abstract ideas.

I definitely mentioned that my cat helped [I think it walked over a model or drawing or something disturbing the flow - at the very least its intervention was visible in the presention material].

I think I got a B+, and someone mentioned that they liked the cat thing. I think that this was the same crit where one of my classmate's model was in the form of a chocolate cake, and we ate whilst listening to her composed and humorous explanation. She got an A.

Jan 12, 06 1:07 am  · 
 · 
Queen of England

I presented a building clad in animal fat (lard) to a panel of vegetarian critters, they took personal offence and couldn’t get beyond the source of the chosen material. Critters always have difficulty analyzing things they are not familiar with.

The best method is at the beginning of the crit to ask the student what grade they want. If they say “A” the response is ‘that is a very high grade, explain why exactly you should get an A?’ When the discussion is finishing the critic can tell the student ‘your explanation thus far is about… a B-, do you have anything else to add?’ If the student really tries hard maybe they settle on a B.

This method certainly makes grades seem less abstract…

Jan 12, 06 1:25 am  · 
 · 
Beaker

In my first year first crit, the critic said to me:

"Maybe you should think again about coming to this school"

In my second year crit, again another critic said:

"Your theory is bullshit. You don't need that"

I manage to get an A+ though

Jan 12, 06 3:23 am  · 
 · 
Beaker

Another one:

I dont think this one was my problem really.

In my second year second semester crit, my tutor invited a guest crit, fresh off post-grad, in-experienced I guess. So I explained everything from my concepts to development and to the final design and when it was her turn to crit my work, she went totally blank. Silent for almost 5 minutes just looking at my presentation and she finally spoke up

"........So................(another 10 seconds)....what's the material?"

I just explained that, I thought to myself.

Jan 12, 06 3:42 am  · 
 · 
curt clay

We had a guy who decided to do his floor plans in white pencil on black boards (for no apparent reason), but in the middle of the plan at the bottom of a long, curving and descending ramp. He went through this LONG explanation about how once you descend down this ramp and turn this corner you would be greeted by his marvelous invention: "The AQUACOLUMN" and this fish tank that wraps around the column would hold piranhas and other exotic fish.

One simple question from the crit about the slope of his ramp and it was all over for him. It was obviously too steep and all of the jurors start into this story that went like this:

"so I lose control of my wheelchair on your 35% sloped ramp...."
"as your fingers are getting caught in the spokes of the wheelchair..."
"then I look up....."
"and you're heading straight for a fish tank..."
"... with piranhas inside..."
"so you crash into the fish tank..."
"shards of glass have sliced my arm off...."
"the rushing water knocked a little 3 year old girl off her feet nearby..."
".. who was just trying to see the fish..."
"I'm soaked and wet as 300 gallons of water are flowing over me..."
"... so I'm drowning...."
"and I have piranhas flapping in my lap
"or eating everyone else's legs who was standing in the lobby..."
"if they haven't already drowned or been sliced up by all of the glass..."
"or eaten by the piranhas..."

the entire room was exploding with laughter as they were doing all of these crazy hand motions and swimming motions to enact their story..

he just sat there silent and never cracked a smile...

Jan 12, 06 1:09 pm  · 
 · 
liberty bell

LOL curtclay...ohmigod I've got tears in my eyes!

Jan 12, 06 1:41 pm  · 
 · 
curt clay

I forgot to mention that in the middle of this black board with drawings you could hardly read, there was this big bright blue dot to represent this "aquacolumn", and from afar, it just looked like a board with a blue dot on it which just made matters worse...... and since he made SUCH a big deal about explaining the wonders of this design, it just became a bull's eye waiting to get hit...

Jan 12, 06 4:22 pm  · 
 · 
el jeffe

yeah i had tears in my eyes too - i needed that laugh.

Jan 12, 06 5:06 pm  · 
 · 
FrankLloydMike

haha. that is an amazing story. I kinda want to "out" the professor in my story but I know a lot of the profs at wentworth surf archinect, so I dunno. I'd love it if anyone from wentworth read it and knew exactly who I was talking about... by and large. haha. I hope someone gets this

Jan 13, 06 11:49 am  · 
 · 
Nevermore

once in my second year , for the rendering submission..I had done an entire presentation in shades of brown...the stick-dick professor told me" whats this ?...did you use this as toilet paper." ?

I leaned close to him and told him.." say that again and you wont go back home alive ".

hehe...well I became a student icon in college after that..matter went to the princi and I was suspended for a week and all and blah..

but in retrospect..I wish why oh why didnt I hit the prof then !


any arch students here who face or will face comments from frustrated losers like that..my advice to them is:

Dont talk just hit..let your fist fool around !

tee hee..

Jan 13, 06 1:34 pm  · 
 · 
snooker

Not a crit, but while in School during first year structures our prof bailed so they brought in the structural engineer who taught upper
level structure courses durning the middle of the course. The first week he thought he was following the sylibus and everyone was wondering what the hell was he talking about. We discovered he
was using an old version of the book that was our text book. The
authors decided to reorganize the chapters of the books. So the whole class was screwed out of a weeks worth of classes.

Jan 13, 06 5:25 pm  · 
 · 
c.k.

all right.
my worst crit ever was in second or first grade. our assignment was to make a christmas tree out of paper, decoration and all.
when we were done, the teacher selected two of us to go in front of the class and show our work. she selects me and another kid - at this point I get suspicios, the other kid's tree looks much beter than mine.
it turns out she selected the best and the worst project. guess whose was the worst

Jan 13, 06 5:46 pm  · 
 · 
snooker

ckl....and you became an architect...and the first place kid became?

Jan 13, 06 6:23 pm  · 
 · 
c.k.

dunno. I left the country after a few more crits like that (half kidding)

Jan 13, 06 6:31 pm  · 
 · 
poiuy

We had a professor who at the end of the school year sat in the middle of the classroom summing up the projects, the school year, and our lives..Meanwhile, he's shooting off rubber bands like David Letterman tosses envelopes..And one of them hits a dog wandering through in the eye.

The dog starts winkin' and blinkin' while we all fall into hysterics..Poor doggie - he was ok in a few minues, though.

Feb 20, 06 5:25 pm  · 
 · 
SuperHeavy

maybe somewhat tame, but a myth/legend at my undergrad. Grad student after typical insomniatic pre-critique studio schedule stands in front of the jury looking typically haggard.

student: this is my project

jury: could you elaborate?

student: this is my fucking project

apparently it went quite well after that.

Mar 17, 06 1:58 pm  · 
 · 
cmdace18

my midterm thesis crit - had my chair and co-chair scheduled along with 2 professors..

noon crit

pinned up 4 entire walls in the architecture main conference office

my chair and co-showed up, who knew my project and had been working with all along

the 1st scheduled professor apparently had been 'double booked'. the other student? he was the chair.

the 2nd scheduled professor was 'out of town'

i found it disrespectful and i was pissed to be honest.

my chair found a professor in the hallway on his lunchbreak from other crits and he sat in on it. he was incredible. has his m.arch from harvard.

so, turned from the worst crit to prob one of my best.

Mar 18, 06 2:55 am  · 
 · 
laistm

working all night on a design proposal just evokes crits like:

"my son has a pair of jeans which he liked so much...but i could not let him buyit...so i'm not going to agree with you"..?????@#$%@#$%@#

Faculty to the class:

"No matter what you do, we're going to disagree with you."

Mar 18, 06 2:57 am  · 
 · 
laistm

working all night on a design proposal just evokes crits like:

"my son has a pair of jeans which he liked so much...but i could not let him buyit...so i'm not going to agree with you"..?????@#$%@#$%@#

Faculty to the class:

"No matter what you do, we're going to disagree with you."

Mar 18, 06 2:57 am  · 
 · 
laistm

working all night on a design proposal just evokes crits like:

"my son has a pair of jeans which he liked so much...but i could not let him buyit...so i'm not going to agree with you"..?????@#$%@#$%@#

Faculty to the class:

"No matter what you do, we're going to disagree with you."

Mar 18, 06 2:57 am  · 
 · 
ooid

4th year, interior design studio
the critic : Why didn't you build a model with all the furniture inside?
me: well, this is a 1/100 architectural model, not a fancy barby house.
the critic : who the hell are you? are you an architect?

All the drawings were rendered painstakingly with the furniture information by the way...

Mar 18, 06 6:45 am  · 
 · 
colinrichardson

in my first studio studio at a small lac, my professor had instructed us to, "Never argue, you can elaborate, or ask for clarification, but don't argue back." She was not the kind of professor you ought to corss (i learned that a few years later). In our final cirt, some "environmental therapist" or something, who's a friend of one of our real critics tagged along. with the frist few crits, she's throw in an inane comment. she slowly built up confidence, some of the other professors were trying to temper the stupid shit she had to say, but all of us students were politely nodding and taking the criticism just as we'd been taught. finally, it's my turn. the other critics have interesting things to say, i think things are going well, finally it's her turn:

her:"i just think this is an ugly building" (the critic next to her gives her the 'did you just fart, or did you actually shit your pants' look)

me: "could you elaborate"

her: "i just don't know.. i just think it's ugly, i don't like it)

at that point my professor came to my rescue and intellectually kicked the shit out of her. after the critics had left, and we were taking down our materials, our professor told us that the particular critic would not be invited back.


next semester: i designed a dormitory, of suites with undulating walls. it looked good in elevation, and the floorplans were sharp.. the last thing i did the night before the crit was my siteplan. well, blacked-in on my siteplan, mt building looked kinda.. like a cartoon of a turd. my crit the next day was about 50% crit and 50% poop joke, from a bunch of older professors who really ought to know better.

Mar 18, 06 9:55 am  · 
 · 
wood_

The aquacolumn & christmas tree stories were too hilarious.

Mar 19, 06 8:44 pm  · 
 · 
trip to fame

In first year grad I was told my house project looked like a florida home from the 60s. I didn't know how to take that...but the only images that kept coming to mind were veiny legs and walkers strolling through the boca sun. Oh, and then I had the old "you could be more creative in the details" bit during the same crit.

Mar 19, 06 9:26 pm  · 
 · 

man, trip to fame - if you had only known to tell them that a comparion to paul rudolph's florida houses was a really wonderful compliment.

Mar 20, 06 7:38 am  · 
 · 
trip to fame

Good point. I should've simply said thanks in reply to the comment.

Mar 20, 06 12:26 pm  · 
 · 
Urbanist

"Beautiful forms in search of a clue..."

Mar 20, 06 2:54 pm  · 
 · 
whistler

Excellant Oldfogey .... good to hear that world can still function as it should. Had a guy in my class very similar to goldengirl who got away with murder and should have been called out many times .... no idea what happened to him..... Tim Savage where are you?

Mar 21, 06 2:21 pm  · 
 · 
Featured Comment
surface

I never had a particularly bad crit. At least not a mean one. When I have turned in projects that were poorly thought out or had bad craftsmanship or were clearly done in a rush, people noticed and criticized me. But this was deserved, and it was done in a way that criticized my work, not myself as a human.

In one crit, a guest critic stopped a presenter (not me) in the middle of her presentation and said, "This is bullshit, I am going to get some sushi." Came back 15 minutes later with some sushi.

Mar 21, 06 2:47 pm  · 
 · 
surface

I never had a particularly bad crit. At least not a mean one. When I have turned in projects that were poorly thought out or had bad craftsmanship or were clearly done in a rush, people noticed and criticized me. But this was deserved, and it was done in a way that criticized my work, not myself as a human.

In one crit, a guest critic stopped a presenter (not me) in the middle of her presentation and said, "This is bullshit, I am going to get some sushi." Came back 15 minutes later with a tray of sushi.

Mar 21, 06 2:48 pm  · 
 · 
surface

Sorry for double post up there, oy!

diabase:
"In my second year, I made the mistake of having an energy drink just before my crit. Compounded with my lack of sleep, I slurred and wandered through a veritable landscape of wild ideas, bizzare notions and abstract ideas."

Oh, energy drink is bad.
Meal replacement drink is also bad.
In my junior year of UG, I made the mistake of having an Atkins Shake just before my core studio final critique. (you'd think that a canned meal would be portable, fast, and unobtrusive). I was scheduled to present first, but had to keep asking my professors to let me go later and later and later, "Just after this next person! Um.. no.. sorry, can I go after the fourth person? The fifth?" as the unfortunate beverage upset my stomach so terribly that it took several hours before I was able to stay ten solid minutes in the classroom.

Mar 21, 06 3:02 pm  · 
 · 
ampoule

my first first bad crit ever...
was very quick project (say 3 days maybe), i went with prefab kit parts

told that didn't do enought iterations of parts options, then add on top of that that they just didn't like my idea in the first place.

enter TV camera from nowhere from the local station getting shots of the school luckily catching a crit live...

mortified.

Mar 21, 06 10:52 pm  · 
 · 
myriam

We had this prof who kept falling asleep in the middle of our crits, much to our chagrin. Worse was the fact that, as year coordinator, he had input on 10% of our grades and was a notorious hard-ass. It was mortifying to each presenter: Here we had stayed up for days straight and WE managed to stay awake and present, how dare he fall asleep?!?!

It wasn't till a few years later that I learned he had narcolepsy.

Mar 21, 06 11:49 pm  · 
 · 
topflite9000

This didn't happen to me, but a fellow classmate. The prof FELL ASLEEP during her desk crit. He just slowly nodded and dozed off. He woke up after the classmate stood up from the table to walk away.

Mar 22, 06 1:33 pm  · 
 · 
adso

I really think there should be an Aquacolumn archinect t-shirt.

May 14, 06 12:39 pm  · 
 · 
Janosh

During my thesis year, a critic told one of the other students that he should piss all over her model. Then he kicked a chair and stormed all out of the room.

Not useful. But then a solid half of all of the crits I sat through could fall under that definition.

May 14, 06 1:37 pm  · 
 · 
semigloss

dude's getting killed in his thesis review. dude's mom yells from the back row, "Can't we just talk about the membranes?"

May 14, 06 2:24 pm  · 
 · 
dedubs

"What the hell man, were you on crystal meth or something!?"

night before final projects were due, "Start over. It doesn't work."

one poor girl also got all over her prelim models stacked into a big pile, to which she was told to build that for her final.

when working on a project that would be built on the corner of a street, next to two other buildings, the professor ripped the student's model out of the site plan and said it looked better that way (all that was left was a block representing two existing buildings).

May 14, 06 4:23 pm  · 
 · 
harame83

BRING ME XACTO! NOW!

May 14, 06 5:53 pm  · 
 · 
ricecake

"this building is great if it were on Mars"

May 15, 06 1:09 am  · 
 · 
assbackward

Hey ochona: I'm from Fort Worth too. Wasn't in my high school band, thogh.

May 16, 06 1:46 am  · 
 · 
justmefromla

Not me, but a classmate:

student (very excited, mind you): "so i've come up with a different concept of putting the main entrace in the back of the building"

prof: "what the fuck?! In the back of the building?! Do you shove food up your ass, too?"

the whole class just exploded with laughter

May 16, 06 4:31 am  · 
 · 

Block this user


Are you sure you want to block this user and hide all related comments throughout the site?

Archinect


This is your first comment on Archinect. Your comment will be visible once approved.

  • ×Search in: