the hovering behind me in order to view something on the screen doesn't bother me as much as eating something that is crunchy with a strong odor while doing it.
Yes. in particular a boss with a certain penchant for fritos. True story: boss, who will remain unnamed, drooled Fritos onto my notebook while hovering over my computer, proceeded to wipe it up with his hand and act as if nothing happened while I stared at him in shock/awe.
JANIIINE I had a similar experience...a tenured professor in grad school was giving me a desk crit while picking at his nose every now and then with long, uncut, surprisingly unkempt fingernails...suddenly in the middle of one the discussion I heard a distinct, brief *crackling* noise. I looked down to find a crusty boog that he had finally loosened enough for it to become dislodged and fall on my drawing (white background).
It was soo obvious. I attempted to ignore it. This was the only A I ever got in an Arch studio...probably to keep me quiet so I'll leave the otherwise gentlemanly individual anonymous...
Why is it that I always seem to have a desk or office next to the loud talker. You are privvy to every little detail of his life, whether you want to be or not.
Or how about the guy that has sinus problems...you know the guy that's hacking up all of the stuff that's draining out of his head then either spitting it out or swallowing it. I almost made myself gag just thinking of it.
i've never had anything this crazy happen!!!!
the mouse smuggle... a few times.
bad coffee breath once
farting in the office!?!?! do you work at the zoo??
My first year of grad school I was a research assistant for a visiting faculty member. We were making models with a desktop CNC and I wanted to keep production moving so after a few hours at the bar I went in to the office to load up the next piece and caught the prof looking at porn with his pants down...using my computer. I mean if you are gonna wank it at the office at least use your own computer.
i only like using a roller ball mouse. the cord squeaks like a mother, and when i'm working really fast, i tend to bang it around on the desk quite a bit (no mouse pad, just a sheet of paper under it). similarly, i also slam the keys when i'm working quickly. i'm responsible for my own pet peeves.
i could echo so many of these (fingertips and pencil all over my monitor, mouse smuggling, and the heinous nailclipping!) ...though i can't imagine how many of these i'm unknowingly guilty of, too!
the crunchy food within earshot is a major pet peeve of mine, which gets amplified by the baseline of workplace stress. there was a co-worker who would almost constantly smack his lips, especially when he was working away on a jolly rancher. the smacking sound combined with the pungent, sickeningly sweet aroma of cherry jolly rancher used to push me to the brink of sanity!
then again, i think i might be the "guy with the unusually fragrant lunch" at my small office. who knows -- i eat a lot of leftover pasta!
Making personal calls at a very high level of volume. I don't really care if you're talking to your spouse; sometimes you have to call them or whatever. I just don't need to hear that call broadcast to the rest of the office. This goes double for those of you who are planning dates over the phone.
Like many of you, I can't stand the usage of a pen when pointing at something on the monitor. Use your finger...I can clean finger grease but not pen marks.
Last, but not least: office politics. Pissing matches, over-delegation of tasks...none of it is fun.
Not an office story...but during school I worked at a coffee shop and some people would sit down at a table and start clipping their nails letting then fall on the carpet, which I had to clean up at the end of the night. Often they would get stuck to the carpet and couldn't be vacuumed up, so I would have to pick them off the floor by hand.
Seriously people, to start off CLIP YOUR FUCKING NAILS AT HOME like normal people, and if you have some kind of fucking "nail emergency 911" where you simply have to clip them in public, GO FIND A BATHROOM WHERE YOU CAN CLIP THEM INTO A GARBAGE CAN SO NO ONE ELSE HAS TO DEAL WITH IT.
I know you could probably give a shit, but I would just like to make you aware that other people find you DISGUSTING.
Had one co-worker who constantly whistled the same tune everyday. All day. over and over...it's still in my head.
Lots of screen touchers, fingers, pencils.
Model touchers too. Thanks you for that greasy fingerprint on my clean, white model.
Obvious guy. "Hey, looks like your making a model." every time he walks past. No shit.
Always one person who won't change the plotter paper or leaves a tiny little bit on so they don't have to change it. Kinda like leaving a few drops of milk in the container.
Microwave popcorn lady. That stuff just stinks up the whole office.
No shoes guy. ya I get it, your feet are hot or something. Please leave your shoes on at your desk as I can smell your cheesy feet from a 10' radius.
I've been no-shoes guy before (not often), but I definitely give a smell check first... normally that means keeping the shoes on during the summer, but I can never smell anything most of the year.
Also had the office nail clipper before (not me... I clip them while 'occupied' on the toilet)... what is it about that sound that's so bad? It just grates on you...
Definitely second the 'obvious guy' comment, but I don't really have an obvious guy in the office so much as I get annoyed at the obligatory post-vacation, post-weekend, post-sick leave, post-haircut small talk that we all somehow feel we must recite... I'm in a large firm so getting asked "how was your flight" 80 times after a vacation really bugs the hell out of me. Am I being a dick about this? I always answer with a smile, but it definitely gets old repeating the same thing over and over.
i'm definitely guilty of going no-shoes, but a lot of times, girl shoes hurt!
i once had a boss who called EVERYTHING a bad boy. i suppose that wasn't so much annoying as it was laughable (he'd also constantly brag about how he had a phd in physics from fancy pants university).
i concur on mouth sounds and monitor touching. so annoying!
agree on screen-pointing with writing utensils, or grabbing the mouse to show you something, etc.
also, the people who finish the coffee, and then claim to "not know how" to make more. right.
but here is my current fave:
in my open-plan "studio" style office (ah the lack of closed doors...so very friendly) you essentially hear every single thing anyone says on the phone, all the time. but the polite thing to do, is ignore it. whether its project-related or private, if you arent on a conference call, its none of your business. the guy who sits immediately on the other side of my "partition" (its 4' tall...not much privacy) comments on EVERY SINGLE PHONE CALL i make or receive. could be the consultant, could be a client, could be my husband to find out when the hell i'm finally coming home....no matter what, he makes a nosy comment. its like, I KNOW you can hear me, just pretend you can't, like the rest of us!
one former co-worker used to blast speed metal on his headphones and bang his hand (w/ a very loud wedding band on it) on the desk while drafting away...that also happened to be jolly rancher guy, too.
How about someone taking credit for the work you did....
or...
the same guy blatantly looking at porn on company time in a cubicle style studio, me alerting the department heads, but it's shrugged off like nothing happened! I guess you can get away with anything with you went to the same "prestigious" school as the boss...oh the nerve!!!
whenever my boss comes by my desk and wants to sketch, design, explain something, he asks for my sharpie. after some minutes of sketching, thinking, scribbling over some trace or clean prints he leaves and my sharpie is gone. every time!
LOL. Poor guy, he was grandfathered in as an architect and been in the business so long I guess he had seen everything. Anyway, he was diabetic and so after lunch days his sugar would get out of wack and no joke he would pass out a sleep slumped over in his chair at the office snoring like all get out! Great guy though!
Ohhhh who mentioned the phone calls to the wife? I kid you not, never failed that every day the project architect would call his and as my cuby was directly across from his office I heard everything. It would be say like ten o clock in the morning and he was calling to make sure his wife was awake, I am assuming she must be a trophy wife or something but nevertheless he would talk down to her every single day like she had no common sense. Every DAY! Ahhhh.
Not so much of a (current) office pet peeve... but I cannot stand people who don't walk on the right hand side [or left hand-- JUST PICK A SIDE AND WALK ON IT].
I am reminded of this when I use to have to walk around the block or go on campus for work... AND NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO WALK.
People take my Puffs without asking. I buy them myself. One day I came in went to reach for one and the box was empty. Someone had taken my last one. Same happened to the half and half I brought in for my coffee once too. NOT COOL!!!
These are hilarious! A former coworker would not only call his wife every day around 4, he'd also insist on talking to his 3 year old son in baby talk. And then he'll turn to me and turn into obvious guy. One such memorable convo:
"heeey buddy, did you go poopy today? did you!? was it a big poopy or a wittle poopy? a big one!? that's daddy's wittle guy! ok buddy I gotta go. say bubye!"
I used to work with a guy who was always adjusting his family jewels infront of the female employees. Of course this was always going on when he was giving them some deep Architectural Design Theory Talk. Which usually amounted to him derailing everything they had accomplished in the last day. Finally the partners caught on and he was out the door.
has "i've seen it all" guy been mentioned yet? he's sort of like obvious guy, except in reverse - everything you tell him is obvious to him. even stuff he just heard about. this one is skeptical of all things, and all things are considered dubious, obscured in the shadow of his towering intellect and experience. omniscient to all that is said to or within earshot of this mighty sage!
These are hilarious. Thanks for creating this thread. I'd like to add, 'Office Flirting' and 'Tourette Outburst' to the list. Office romance is fine I suppose if handled discreetly...but this one guy I used to work with had an affair with an intern and she would come to his cubicle to sit on his lap during lunch and they would giggle for 30 to 45 minutes straight. Same office had this older guy, who had worked there for 30 years, and he must've had some symptoms of tourette because he would often stand up from his cubicle and shout, 'Baa goll lyyy!, Rough on me!. It was funny after some time but in the beginning I used to think what is up with the dude?!
Obnoxious Prankster needs to be mentioned here. I used to work with a guy who would lay off from work and then call everbody pretending to be clients/consultants and talk ugly and dirty. Kinda weird having your contractor call you up while your deep in a CAD drawing and tell you he's been missing your seductive voice and describing intimate dreams between you and him.
smoking in the office..this was in 1999... small firm of 4 people and the architect, who was like 80, would chain smoke and visit my desk with a cig and just let it marinate while poking at the screen.... i didnt stay there long
more of a habit I had to adopt myself but having to actually use the bathroom in another area of the building so the bosses dont recognize your shoes in the stall and actually know how long you are staying in the bathroom in order to avoid them
oh wait maybe that is just me
jesus, update on the taped mouse...after only several seconds of realizing that his mouse was not working, he simply got up and grabbed a new mouse from the stockroom. joke foiled!
Feb 18, 10 1:36 pm ·
·
Block this user
Are you sure you want to block this user and hide all related comments throughout the site?
Archinect
This is your first comment on Archinect. Your comment will be visible once approved.
Annoying office habits..
I'll start..
The "mouse smuggling", as your co-worker reaches over your shoulder and hijacks your mouse.
mouse smuggling? I haven't experienced that one.
the hovering behind me in order to view something on the screen doesn't bother me as much as eating something that is crunchy with a strong odor while doing it.
Yes. in particular a boss with a certain penchant for fritos. True story: boss, who will remain unnamed, drooled Fritos onto my notebook while hovering over my computer, proceeded to wipe it up with his hand and act as if nothing happened while I stared at him in shock/awe.
Putting greasy fingers on monitor when pointing something out.
Drawing on someones screen with a pencil.
My boss pointed at something on my screen with the tip of a sharpie and actually made contact. His loss, though..he owns it after all.
Archinecting on company time.
Facebooking on company time. Farmville rocks!
The guy next to me is 350 lbs and farts loudly ALL THE TIME. I hear him almost EVERY DAY. His flatulence kills!
The guy next to me is 350 lbs and farts loudly ALL THE TIME. I hear him almost EVERY DAY. His flatulence kills!
Alexi.....we heard you....least he hasn't left you with a Puddles airplane experience....shitting in his pants.
Puddles didn't do that he talks about it along with the Airplane ban on getting up during the last hour of flight.
I once worked with a colleague who trimmed his fingernails at his desk.
I thought it was gross but then I started getting in this habit as well...
JANIIINE I had a similar experience...a tenured professor in grad school was giving me a desk crit while picking at his nose every now and then with long, uncut, surprisingly unkempt fingernails...suddenly in the middle of one the discussion I heard a distinct, brief *crackling* noise. I looked down to find a crusty boog that he had finally loosened enough for it to become dislodged and fall on my drawing (white background).
It was soo obvious. I attempted to ignore it. This was the only A I ever got in an Arch studio...probably to keep me quiet so I'll leave the otherwise gentlemanly individual anonymous...
Why is it that I always seem to have a desk or office next to the loud talker. You are privvy to every little detail of his life, whether you want to be or not.
Or how about the guy that has sinus problems...you know the guy that's hacking up all of the stuff that's draining out of his head then either spitting it out or swallowing it. I almost made myself gag just thinking of it.
i've never had anything this crazy happen!!!!
the mouse smuggle... a few times.
bad coffee breath once
farting in the office!?!?! do you work at the zoo??
Alexi, that's just funny. Ha ha. I'd be suppressing a smile every time he fucking let one rip.
seeing those hideous Jayne Barnes sweaters all winter long!
My first year of grad school I was a research assistant for a visiting faculty member. We were making models with a desktop CNC and I wanted to keep production moving so after a few hours at the bar I went in to the office to load up the next piece and caught the prof looking at porn with his pants down...using my computer. I mean if you are gonna wank it at the office at least use your own computer.
i only like using a roller ball mouse. the cord squeaks like a mother, and when i'm working really fast, i tend to bang it around on the desk quite a bit (no mouse pad, just a sheet of paper under it). similarly, i also slam the keys when i'm working quickly. i'm responsible for my own pet peeves.
i could echo so many of these (fingertips and pencil all over my monitor, mouse smuggling, and the heinous nailclipping!) ...though i can't imagine how many of these i'm unknowingly guilty of, too!
the crunchy food within earshot is a major pet peeve of mine, which gets amplified by the baseline of workplace stress. there was a co-worker who would almost constantly smack his lips, especially when he was working away on a jolly rancher. the smacking sound combined with the pungent, sickeningly sweet aroma of cherry jolly rancher used to push me to the brink of sanity!
then again, i think i might be the "guy with the unusually fragrant lunch" at my small office. who knows -- i eat a lot of leftover pasta!
Making personal calls at a very high level of volume. I don't really care if you're talking to your spouse; sometimes you have to call them or whatever. I just don't need to hear that call broadcast to the rest of the office. This goes double for those of you who are planning dates over the phone.
Like many of you, I can't stand the usage of a pen when pointing at something on the monitor. Use your finger...I can clean finger grease but not pen marks.
Last, but not least: office politics. Pissing matches, over-delegation of tasks...none of it is fun.
Not an office story...but during school I worked at a coffee shop and some people would sit down at a table and start clipping their nails letting then fall on the carpet, which I had to clean up at the end of the night. Often they would get stuck to the carpet and couldn't be vacuumed up, so I would have to pick them off the floor by hand.
Seriously people, to start off CLIP YOUR FUCKING NAILS AT HOME like normal people, and if you have some kind of fucking "nail emergency 911" where you simply have to clip them in public, GO FIND A BATHROOM WHERE YOU CAN CLIP THEM INTO A GARBAGE CAN SO NO ONE ELSE HAS TO DEAL WITH IT.
I know you could probably give a shit, but I would just like to make you aware that other people find you DISGUSTING.
Done.
This gave me a good laugh Milwaukee08
Only problem I think I had was when a client started breast feeding her newborn.
Didn't somone already complain about sucking and slurping noises?
Had one co-worker who constantly whistled the same tune everyday. All day. over and over...it's still in my head.
Lots of screen touchers, fingers, pencils.
Model touchers too. Thanks you for that greasy fingerprint on my clean, white model.
Obvious guy. "Hey, looks like your making a model." every time he walks past. No shit.
Always one person who won't change the plotter paper or leaves a tiny little bit on so they don't have to change it. Kinda like leaving a few drops of milk in the container.
Microwave popcorn lady. That stuff just stinks up the whole office.
No shoes guy. ya I get it, your feet are hot or something. Please leave your shoes on at your desk as I can smell your cheesy feet from a 10' radius.
I've been no-shoes guy before (not often), but I definitely give a smell check first... normally that means keeping the shoes on during the summer, but I can never smell anything most of the year.
Also had the office nail clipper before (not me... I clip them while 'occupied' on the toilet)... what is it about that sound that's so bad? It just grates on you...
Definitely second the 'obvious guy' comment, but I don't really have an obvious guy in the office so much as I get annoyed at the obligatory post-vacation, post-weekend, post-sick leave, post-haircut small talk that we all somehow feel we must recite... I'm in a large firm so getting asked "how was your flight" 80 times after a vacation really bugs the hell out of me. Am I being a dick about this? I always answer with a smile, but it definitely gets old repeating the same thing over and over.
i'm definitely guilty of going no-shoes, but a lot of times, girl shoes hurt!
i once had a boss who called EVERYTHING a bad boy. i suppose that wasn't so much annoying as it was laughable (he'd also constantly brag about how he had a phd in physics from fancy pants university).
i concur on mouth sounds and monitor touching. so annoying!
agree on screen-pointing with writing utensils, or grabbing the mouse to show you something, etc.
also, the people who finish the coffee, and then claim to "not know how" to make more. right.
but here is my current fave:
in my open-plan "studio" style office (ah the lack of closed doors...so very friendly) you essentially hear every single thing anyone says on the phone, all the time. but the polite thing to do, is ignore it. whether its project-related or private, if you arent on a conference call, its none of your business. the guy who sits immediately on the other side of my "partition" (its 4' tall...not much privacy) comments on EVERY SINGLE PHONE CALL i make or receive. could be the consultant, could be a client, could be my husband to find out when the hell i'm finally coming home....no matter what, he makes a nosy comment. its like, I KNOW you can hear me, just pretend you can't, like the rest of us!
sheesh.
one former co-worker used to blast speed metal on his headphones and bang his hand (w/ a very loud wedding band on it) on the desk while drafting away...that also happened to be jolly rancher guy, too.
How about someone taking credit for the work you did....
or...
the same guy blatantly looking at porn on company time in a cubicle style studio, me alerting the department heads, but it's shrugged off like nothing happened! I guess you can get away with anything with you went to the same "prestigious" school as the boss...oh the nerve!!!
"Only problem I think I had was when a client started breast feeding her newborn."
Yikes!
I once saw a 7 year old suckling on her mom's teat on a parkbench in a very public place!
Sharpie theft:
whenever my boss comes by my desk and wants to sketch, design, explain something, he asks for my sharpie. after some minutes of sketching, thinking, scribbling over some trace or clean prints he leaves and my sharpie is gone. every time!
Was it your sharpie in the first place? or his?
LOL. Poor guy, he was grandfathered in as an architect and been in the business so long I guess he had seen everything. Anyway, he was diabetic and so after lunch days his sugar would get out of wack and no joke he would pass out a sleep slumped over in his chair at the office snoring like all get out! Great guy though!
Ohhhh who mentioned the phone calls to the wife? I kid you not, never failed that every day the project architect would call his and as my cuby was directly across from his office I heard everything. It would be say like ten o clock in the morning and he was calling to make sure his wife was awake, I am assuming she must be a trophy wife or something but nevertheless he would talk down to her every single day like she had no common sense. Every DAY! Ahhhh.
Not so much of a (current) office pet peeve... but I cannot stand people who don't walk on the right hand side [or left hand-- JUST PICK A SIDE AND WALK ON IT].
I am reminded of this when I use to have to walk around the block or go on campus for work... AND NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO WALK.
People take my Puffs without asking. I buy them myself. One day I came in went to reach for one and the box was empty. Someone had taken my last one. Same happened to the half and half I brought in for my coffee once too. NOT COOL!!!
These are hilarious! A former coworker would not only call his wife every day around 4, he'd also insist on talking to his 3 year old son in baby talk. And then he'll turn to me and turn into obvious guy. One such memorable convo:
"heeey buddy, did you go poopy today? did you!? was it a big poopy or a wittle poopy? a big one!? that's daddy's wittle guy! ok buddy I gotta go. say bubye!"
to me: "my son used the toilet today."
no sh*t sherlock! pun intended
gotta love those poopy times! that story is awesome
I used to work with a guy who was always adjusting his family jewels infront of the female employees. Of course this was always going on when he was giving them some deep Architectural Design Theory Talk. Which usually amounted to him derailing everything they had accomplished in the last day. Finally the partners caught on and he was out the door.
speakin of the mouse, my coworker got me by taping over my laser
thanks jesus, just did it to my coworker..
yeah he sat there right next to me and I dont know how he stopped from laughing
good prank though unless you work next to someone who wants to kill you
has "i've seen it all" guy been mentioned yet? he's sort of like obvious guy, except in reverse - everything you tell him is obvious to him. even stuff he just heard about. this one is skeptical of all things, and all things are considered dubious, obscured in the shadow of his towering intellect and experience. omniscient to all that is said to or within earshot of this mighty sage!
These are hilarious. Thanks for creating this thread. I'd like to add, 'Office Flirting' and 'Tourette Outburst' to the list. Office romance is fine I suppose if handled discreetly...but this one guy I used to work with had an affair with an intern and she would come to his cubicle to sit on his lap during lunch and they would giggle for 30 to 45 minutes straight. Same office had this older guy, who had worked there for 30 years, and he must've had some symptoms of tourette because he would often stand up from his cubicle and shout, 'Baa goll lyyy!, Rough on me!. It was funny after some time but in the beginning I used to think what is up with the dude?!
Obnoxious Prankster needs to be mentioned here. I used to work with a guy who would lay off from work and then call everbody pretending to be clients/consultants and talk ugly and dirty. Kinda weird having your contractor call you up while your deep in a CAD drawing and tell you he's been missing your seductive voice and describing intimate dreams between you and him.
smoking in the office..this was in 1999... small firm of 4 people and the architect, who was like 80, would chain smoke and visit my desk with a cig and just let it marinate while poking at the screen.... i didnt stay there long
more of a habit I had to adopt myself but having to actually use the bathroom in another area of the building so the bosses dont recognize your shoes in the stall and actually know how long you are staying in the bathroom in order to avoid them
oh wait maybe that is just me
jesus, update on the taped mouse...after only several seconds of realizing that his mouse was not working, he simply got up and grabbed a new mouse from the stockroom. joke foiled!
Block this user
Are you sure you want to block this user and hide all related comments throughout the site?
Archinect
This is your first comment on Archinect. Your comment will be visible once approved.