Boss: You're a hard worker and we'd like to keep you here, but we feel like we paid for a Porsche and we got a Volkswagon, so we're giving you a 20% pay cut for next year. Enjoy the Christmas Party! [The firm Christmas party was that night]
".....there is an incongruity between your personal goals and our needs as a firm....." In others words, we are a sweatshop which is doing just fine with less talented people we can pay less than what you would otherwise command
Boss: After looking at the numbers and some of the numbers that you've presented us, we don't feel that you're unfairly compensated. You fall right around the average for your experience level.
Me: So, do you think I'm just an average employee (with a little anger under my breath)
".....there is an incongruity between your personal goals and our needs as a firm....."
Hmm... I've said more or less the same thing to an employee in a performance review, and it didn't mean "In others words, we are a sweatshop which is doing just fine with less talented people we can pay less than what you would otherwise command". What it meant was "We thought we were pretty clear when we hired you that the position involved designing and drawing real buildings. You've been here a year and a half and so far your goals have seemed to include avoiding at all costs drawing sections or details, while focusing endlessly on intricacies of lighting and tree placement in 3D models the client isn't paying for..."
a story from the other side of the table... A young employee who only worked 30 hours a week anyway said, " I have to figure out a way to earn more and work less...." He resigned a few weeks later to be a stay at home dad.
It wasn't during a review, but I got a Mexico-to-Canada long-distance call from my old boss one day after work.
"slantsix, i'd be glad to give you a good reference, but our mutual schedules don't seem to be working out, and I need somebody who can work more hours."
"Hold on, boss. I finish school in a week, and after that I can work whatever hours you need me to."
"Okay slantsix, that's great! I'm happy to keep you here."
.....three weeks later, after not getting scheduled any more hours than I was before (and this being summer, when I need to work to pay for school).......
"Hi boss. I'm giving my notice. I can't work for one day a week and survive, let alone pay for school."
"You $(&$^** #(*&$)@%"
That went on for about 45 minutes.
I never planned it that way, but it ended up being the longest "you can't fire me, I quit!" gags in history. Good times. And good riddance.
We have a system where you get scored on various categories. In my review, after getting bored with my boss giving me many 5 out of 5's in a row (he is very generous) my mind wandered, and I started thinking what I would give HIM in the same categories... 3 out of 5, 2 out of 5... What am I doing here again? Ha ha.
Jul 5, 08 8:58 am ·
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employment reviews - anecdotes?
does anyone have any good stories to share from a memorable
(annual) review with their employer? or advise?
we just submitted our self-evaluation forms (aka TPS reports) and are awaiting our review from "the Bobs"...
You have more than one Bob?
Boss: Are you happy?
Me: I should ask that question. Are you happy?
Boss: Yes
Me: Then I'll need to up my rate to £xx
Boss: OK
Boss: You can leave now, you don't have to finish your day.
Me: ...ok...
This happened to a coworker of mine once:
Boss: You're a hard worker and we'd like to keep you here, but we feel like we paid for a Porsche and we got a Volkswagon, so we're giving you a 20% pay cut for next year. Enjoy the Christmas Party! [The firm Christmas party was that night]
".....there is an incongruity between your personal goals and our needs as a firm....." In others words, we are a sweatshop which is doing just fine with less talented people we can pay less than what you would otherwise command
Bosses: We like having you here and we don't want to let you get away.
Me (thinking about job security, the recession and layoffs around the profession): Sounds good! I'll stay!
No mention of a raise...
Boss: After looking at the numbers and some of the numbers that you've presented us, we don't feel that you're unfairly compensated. You fall right around the average for your experience level.
Me: So, do you think I'm just an average employee (with a little anger under my breath)
Boss: Ummm... no.
Long story short: 20% raise
J,
I hear you. I've even seen some junior-level associates driving brand news benzes. Some of them really do jack shit around the office.
j,
v. funny
".....there is an incongruity between your personal goals and our needs as a firm....."
Hmm... I've said more or less the same thing to an employee in a performance review, and it didn't mean "In others words, we are a sweatshop which is doing just fine with less talented people we can pay less than what you would otherwise command". What it meant was "We thought we were pretty clear when we hired you that the position involved designing and drawing real buildings. You've been here a year and a half and so far your goals have seemed to include avoiding at all costs drawing sections or details, while focusing endlessly on intricacies of lighting and tree placement in 3D models the client isn't paying for..."
postal, that's an awesome rejoinder to something we hear all the time! nicely done.
Well I'm not in architecture...(yet)...but here you go for the museum world:
Boss: You're wonderful! This past year you've really done such great work!
Me: Yay!
Result: 0.50 raise....yes, cents
That wasn't as bad as my Yale colleague who got 0.11...yes, cents
a story from the other side of the table... A young employee who only worked 30 hours a week anyway said, " I have to figure out a way to earn more and work less...." He resigned a few weeks later to be a stay at home dad.
i hope to be a stay at home dad. i just need to find a sugar momma
no smoking around the little ones, sir-smokes-alot. Better drop the habit.
I wouldn't mind being the woman that brings home the bacon.
Only if he can cook and clean...really well.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention...wear a short skirt for me while watering the plants.
lol
jk
hmm just the one where I about to sue my then line manager, who pretty lied in my review to save his own ass. Fun times.
It wasn't during a review, but I got a Mexico-to-Canada long-distance call from my old boss one day after work.
"slantsix, i'd be glad to give you a good reference, but our mutual schedules don't seem to be working out, and I need somebody who can work more hours."
"Hold on, boss. I finish school in a week, and after that I can work whatever hours you need me to."
"Okay slantsix, that's great! I'm happy to keep you here."
.....three weeks later, after not getting scheduled any more hours than I was before (and this being summer, when I need to work to pay for school).......
"Hi boss. I'm giving my notice. I can't work for one day a week and survive, let alone pay for school."
"You $(&$^** #(*&$)@%"
That went on for about 45 minutes.
I never planned it that way, but it ended up being the longest "you can't fire me, I quit!" gags in history. Good times. And good riddance.
We have a system where you get scored on various categories. In my review, after getting bored with my boss giving me many 5 out of 5's in a row (he is very generous) my mind wandered, and I started thinking what I would give HIM in the same categories... 3 out of 5, 2 out of 5... What am I doing here again? Ha ha.
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