oooh, conte! nice!

here is a topper;

student left out 1/4 of his project plan out of the final presentation.

excuse;

ran out of vellum paper in the middle of the night and by the time art store was open, he didn't have any time to finish.

year; 1980

place;

sci arc @ santa monica

result;

incomplete project (no pun here)

that's not all...

his older graduate student brother came down and yelled at his younger brother for being irresponsible and stupid in front of everybody and hit him with a yard stick he grabbed...

i kid you not...

this one isn't from school, but rather from the table next to me at dinner tonight... the people were obviously there celebrating highschool graduation as all of the schools had their ceremonies today... this next generation of kids is gonna be sharp...

recently graduated student: what is a badget?

waiter: huh?

RGS: a badget... it says that the chicken comes with a badget?

waiter: oh... a baguette... it is a piece of bread...

you guys are discouraging me. i thought maybe if i changed schools i wouldn't have to put up with stupid shit from professors/dumb kids. but it's the same everywhere ?! ugghhhhhhhhhhh i'm special, why isn't there a special kids school?

WTT...are you changing schools "midway"....or are you going from undergrad to grad? I'm curious about the process/ difficulty of changing after you've done a year or two somewhere- especially at the masters level.

i have another one. there was a landscape studio in ugrad next to mine. pretty much everyone in there was a woman. myself and some friends were walking down the hallway, and we stopped to look at a piece of scrap wood one friend was talking about for one reason or another. right in front of the landscapers, which i wasn't paying attention to. randomly, he snapped it in half. i looked at him and said, "what'd ya do that for you c*nt?" i "felt" all of the heads turn in the room, and also noticed it in the corner of my eye. reddened, i moved out of the way of the door to the studio, while my two friends stood there staring at everyone like deer in headlights. the last thing the landscape architects must have seen were my arms reaching, go go gadget style, in front of the door and pulling them out of the way. it was a couple weeks before i walked that direction again.

That's pretty good le bossman. I've only pulled 2 all-nighters since my first studio, and they were back to back before a final crit. (Stupid enough, I know). I had been up for about 60 hours when it was my turn for a crit, and I'm told I used all 7 of the words you can't say on television during my crit. Luckily the critiquer was really into "dirty realism" as he called it and loved my presentation style. He said it took balls.

a student had some very brightly colored, almost color-blind renderings, probably due to plotter malfunction or non-CMYK color profile.

prof: about your colors, they're very...mexican...

Dithyramben maybe he was trying to be the next luis Barragan?

Professor [known by all here] rolls out the trace over my elevations and starts drawing triangles and circles. Then says, "I don't know what I'm doing here, but you know what I mean."

we had a gril in our studio who forgot stairs in her 5 story building...

I had many people ask me how I was going to move my 2000 lb bay model into the architecture building for our final crit

This wasn't in school, but anyway...

Some years ago I was riding an 'L' train around the Chicago Loop. Sitting a row or two in front of me on the train were a middle-aged couple, obviously tourists from out of town. (You can spot them a mile away.)

As the train is passing a particularly ornate building, the wife turned to her husband and exclaimed, "Oh Bob, look at the pretty architecture on that building!"

1st yr studio, 1st crit, one of my professors told one of my classmates that he should be a used car salesman because of the way he tried to sell his project

haha..it did!. i remember him using a 4 ft. long pointing wand during his presentation. i remember a juror being extremely confused with the model and asking him "where's the circulation?"...and he points at one of the grasshoppers legs with his wand.

e:
"Professor [known by all here] rolls out the trace over my elevations and starts drawing triangles and circles. Then says, "I don't know what I'm doing here, but you know what I mean."

Hey e, i think i know that professor, or maybe he's my boss.. or the dean...?? hahaha, so great. def been there.

tumbles

who said the thing about the moveable floorplates??? The building next to ours (by Wes Jones) has moveable floorplates...the building bankrupted the client who built it

"you don't need an architecture professor to accompany your studio on your architecture study abroad. my wife and i go places all the time and we learn all we need about architecture by ourselves."


w o w.

"congratulations, you got an A in studio"...fools...

group precedent study/ adaptation project: I was doing the drawings, my partner the models. She slacked off and didn't leave herself enough time to do a proper job of it, so she glued in the floorplates without any penetrations so that she'd just have to cut a simple rectangle. However she did take the time to put stairs in.

Our professor picks up the model, and says "How do you get from one floor to the next?"

Partner: "oh, the stairs are right there."

Prof: "yes, but how do you use them?"

Partner, with very puzzled look: "well, they're what take you from one floor to the next..."

Prof: "But if you're on the second floor, you can't even see them because there's no hole in the floor! So how do you use them?"

not dumb, actually brilliant (and this person reads archinect, too, so I hope she sees this):

critic (asking about the large swathes of leather in a portion of a student's project): So, tell me about these leather panels, how big a piece of leather are we talking about?

student (deadpans): Well, the only limitation is the size of the cow.

Not necessarily in line with this discussion, but I felt this was the best place to put it...

This is how my Fall 2006 semester went, and how others have gone in the past:

Concept review: "Wow, Ryan these are really strong concepts. This is really good work."

Schematic Design review: "This is good work, Ryan, but it's still a little conceptual. Let's really try and push these ideas forward, this can be a really great project."

Design Development review: "Why don't you have windows in your floor plans yet? Have you thought at all about tectonics? I'm struggling a little bit, Ryan, I mean this project is basically in a pre-schematic phase."

Final Review: "This form you have created is beautiful, but it's simply a diagram. All of the concepts you've discussed work with your form but your elevations seem like you just came up with them really out of nowhere. I mean, I don't really understand these elongated perforations at all and their seemingly random pattern. Your units don't really seem to pop like you were trying to do. Beautiful diagrams though."

dont be discouraged. sometimes you have to "dumb it down" to solve the tectonic problem and then reevaluate your concept. zoom in and zoom out.

"Hey where do you get this stuff? How much is it? I want to know 'cause I like to walk around my apartment naked a lot and I need something to put in front of my windows." -my 2nd year 1st semester studio professor referring a sheet of polycarbonate I was holding.

hahaha...I have a teacher say the EXACT same thing when I had a sheet of polygal on my desk in studio.

who knew our Profs were all so kinky...ok...i guess we did know...

what did the image look like?

from a classmate in first year during a precedent study review, presenting on the villa savoye:

"i spent ages looking, but i couldn't find any information on it in the library."

why is it called "m.arch" when it starts in september? -me drunk

A) Student and B) Student having conversation in college Cafeteria.


A) Student : - " That Building was done by Mies Van der Rohe".


B)Student :-- " Really ?? , so was she a famous architect ? "

2nd semster design studio we were to design an elevated train station to fit in a chicago plot.


Prof: so how do the people get up to the platform?

Student: Well there are 3 elevators.

Prof: Elevators? Everyones gonna miss their train.

Student and B) Student having conversation in college Cafeteria.
A) Student : - " That Building was done by Mies Van der Rohe".
B)Student :-- " Really ?? , so was she a famous architect ? "

that's so IIT
just kidding

a friend of mine told me a story of a gal in an undergrad final review who had designed a specific 'spiritual space' for some sort of interaction with GOD in her building. As she was explaining this special place to the guest critics she was so overcome with emotion that she began to CRY.... aparently she continued to elaborate as she wept tears of joy....

wow

personally witnessed a good friend get smashed last year for his drawings that were started eaaaaaaaaarly that morning. After pulling FOUR allnighters putting together a great model he had little to speak of in the way of drawings: after lengthy discourse around the model eyes turned to his panels with one of the more animated reviewers saying with a chuckle... "ya, your drawings... they really are crappy"

just a moment from one of my favourite reviews to view

Hey PetePeterson,

We had to do a spiritual space far my UG too, that reminds me:


Crit: So your ENTIRE space is elevated in the air?
Student: well, yes I wanted it to be for ghosts only.

Crit: um...... so whose gonna pay to build it?

ha! man there is too much latent comedy in the review day phenomenon

I'll never forget. "Don't do it everywhere"

Now I really can't wait for grad school. ;)

I forgot the "!"

jamchar.. are you engel?

sparch

No, Im afraid not... I assume engel is someone you know?

But I did go to UIC, perhaps the projects I have described ring a bell?

Overheard at a review only a couple of weeks ago:

Critic One: blah, blah, blah, blah, envaginated, blah, blah, blah
Critic Two: blah, blah, blah, blah, testicular sac, blah, blah, blah

Damn, Smoke! Where do you go to school!

Yale

765 ... I was quoting your old boss. Guess who the respondent was?

What school was that in? First semester-first year, my critic said to one guy: "You know what this reminds me of? Pirates." and walked away.

Also heard during a review (by the same critic):

In reference to a windowless brick wall: "Is this wall here for dogs to pee on?"

In reference to a corner with a very narrow acute angle: "What happens in this corner here? Is this a space for triangle-headed people to stick their heads in?"

I only know one person who would add the 'sac' when 'testicular' by itself would've been perfectly sufficient.

A comment that I really enjoyed....

The last word in a thesis review in the company of Mayne, Moss, etc. (to the best of my recollection):

"I would like to congratulate you on making a THREE FOOT MAN WITH A ONE FOOT COCK....and what I mean by that is that overall it might not measure up but you did really well where it counts." -dp

Not in school but just last night:

A civil engineering student: "Engineers really design the building, the architect just makes the facade look good"

"ACTUALLY" ...over and over and over and over again!

critic (reviewing a design for an artist's studio): "so, why is the building all black?"
really full-of-himself-only-black-wearing-undersgard: (as if it were self-evident) "...well, that's the most creative colour."

priceless