oops - should read '...only-black-wearing-undergrad'

'...the stair treads will cantilever off of the 3' diameter glass column '

ass. prof.: "why are those renderings so.... curvy.. yet the building is rectangular in plan? and it all seems so.. horizontal.."

me: "that's a panoramic shot you're looking at".

*silence*

(panorama shows an interior view of 360 degrees)

a.p.: "what kind of a *focal length* is that, 120 degrees?"

(!!!!)

I kinda died that day.

same a.p. in a different presentation, pointing at sections and perspectives of several giant-sized, fake leaves presented as a canopy:

"you know, um, you should look at nature more and stuff, erm, biological stuff, like in this image (gestures at random picture of some leaf) . and if you have a problem with wind drag try changing the material, like, making it more rough or something".

it kind of eludes me how substituting one material for another without altering surface area and geometry would change anything there.

what a day.

son, do you have a couple of quarters? because you better go and call your mother, tell her you're not going to become and architect

I KNOW THAT GUY!

noci - golf ball dimples are an example of texture reducing drag (ie- smoother actually increases turbulence).
sorry, I'm a bit of an information nerd.

that's an interesting point, thank you.
.. yet in the scenery I've described, the main problem would have been wind attacking the leaf structure from underneath- so I should have said "uplift force" instead of "wind drag".

"it hangs like...., like the belly of a cow"

A classmate of mine put together a demographic diagram.....

CRIT: what do the liquor bottles represent?

STUDENT: Homeless people.....

In studio.. discussing the layout of the design magazine Icon. We were studying typography in first year. Our studio tutor (also head of first year) states that it is likely the graphic designers of the magazine got paid around $500,000.

I dropped out a few weeks after.

Project: a prison in downtown Los Angeles.
Concept statement from a Nigerian student (a good friend of mine) who wanted to do an all underground facility, written on a cardboard with thick marker:
"PUT THEM SUCKERS UNDERNEATH"

Long time ago but never forgotten...

I built a sculpture in college that was basically a shopping mall fountain that sounded like 12 old men peeing. The assignment was to make a sculpture that referred to the body. So when my professor or asked how it referred to the body, I said, "well, it’s as tall as I am."

"So like Im really into the intellectual side of Architecture like metaphors and philosophy and shit like that"

Few nights before final thesis review, written on a sticky note attached to a model: ''Make the windows more like so... [i forget, not important]'' and underneath, with 'windows' crossed out: ''APERTURES, because it sounds more architectural.''

international studio, two visiting professors pulls me aside:


professor 1: "i think the problem here is that you know too much about the site, this is a decaying detroit neighborhood."
me: "so yeah, did you guys read the brief? it says it's like the only flourishing neighborhood in detroit."
*awkward silence ensues*

oh yeah that was 11 weeks into the studio.

"LESS IS MORE"!

"THINK SIMPLE STUPID"

Prof:

....so to sum up, I don't think this is working. I suggest you need to relook the design issues.



Student (pissed off, doesn't take criticism well):

Well my dad's an architect and he said it's really good!

My second year, second semester professor referred to one corner of a classmates project as "dead cat space" because he said it would be quiet and underutilized, so cats would go there when they were dieing because they prefer to die when nobody is around.

I could fill this thread with stuff from him.

Same prof- refered to a space under a cantilever as "a good place to mug a son of a bitch" while grabbing the student and punching him in the stomach

Also asked a Vietnamese classmate if he had ever eaten dog before.

where dogs go to die? that's where you store cups for the cooler, a triangular space unutilized by any normal utilzer.c

"Well my dad's an architect..." is now an Archinect meme.

final critic, spanish professor, berlin studio, project on the former border strip:

prof: ...ok, but why do you have this wall here?

assistant prof (with a very low voice): thats THE BERLIN WALL

final critic, spanish professor, berlin studio, project on the former border strip:

prof: ...ok, but why do you have this wall here?

assistant prof (with a very low voice): thats THE BERLIN WALL

Overheard a buddy of mine helping a high-school student who was part of a summer program:

Kid - "Can you show me how to draw a house in AutoCAD?"

Buddy - *shows him how to draw two parallel lines*

Kid - "So that's a hallway, right?"

Me (in 2nd year): After getting out of professor's mint-condition antique Jaguar - "When I graduate and get my first job I think I'll buy me a Jaguar too!"

... many years later, still can't afford one on an Architect's salary - but now smart enough to know I dont want one anymore

Dumbest thing i've ever heard anyone say:

Sitting in a seminar on community development process [I'm currently working on a master's in urban design]. Today we've got a guest speaker [a doctoral candidate in anthropology] to talk to us about something called "social capital."


"An example of low social capital would be that a black mother would feel disenfranchised in an elementary school, because in black culture you solve problems by yelling and screaming and throwing things at the principal rather than sitting down and talking through the issue like you do in white culture."

-----------

Honorable mention:

At work, first year of undergrad, interning at university architecture and planning department. Architect comes in carrying two Alvar Aalto dishes. Says to me and the other intern "Hey, do you guys want these? My husband does business with some company in Finland and they sent us these."

"whoa! Alvar Aalto dishes!"

"Who's that?"

"Oh, um...he's kind of an obscure Finnish architect, i just happened to read about him in a book the other day..." [take dishes and laugh]

-----------

Second year studio. Professor looking at sketch model. Turns to student:

"Jon, you a football fan?"

"Yeah, sure, why?"

"It's fourth down and 23 on your own 10-yard line. What're you gonna do?"

"Punt, right?"

[punts model across the room]

-----------

First year studio. Professor critiquing a spatial construct consisting of a bunch of chipboard standing on a really intricate arrangement of basswood stilts. For some reason the model needed to be moved. Prof picks up model with the utmost care, lifts it half an inch off the desk, moves it about six inches to the side, lets it drop.

all the stickwork collapses.

Professor apologizes profusely and comically in that socially awkward way that only a 20-something, newly minted academic can really do: "oh shit. Shit. Dude... i mean, Mike...man, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Shit. Oh my god. I'm sorry."

[awkward pause, Mike is too tired to even care and just has a sort of goofy grin on his face]

"it needed more sticks anyway."

I had a prof who wanted us to do analysis of a pissing patterns....in urinals. Oh he did go on to become the Dean of a School of Architecture ...so I guess his pissing studies paid off.

'the building isn't supposed to cross the alley'

'why not, (this building) did it'

then a fight broke out

"It is as if the building grew a wart, a whitehead or perhaps even a blackhead. Quite organic no? By looking at it, I believe, that perhaps, it could be, that it is more and more, less and less unlikely another building had the act of sex with your building, leaving your building in a state of pregnancy......which is most likely a state of impossibility no? For buildings in the United States, unlike the ones in...let us say Rome, do not have a vagina. Yes? You agree no?"

Oh i have several

During one of my studiomate's final review first semester right after he presented his project, one critic looks at the other critic and asks

"Do you want to take this apart with a scalpel or shall I?"

Same review same critic:

"This is why you don't let teenagers make dinner. They just go to the fridge and grab milk and jalapenos and mix it together and think it's good." (referring to his amalgam of non-relating ideas)

Same review again:

"This is why Yale and Harvard don't have undergraduate programs in design. The next time you do something in your project and say 'ah, i like this' tell the person next to you to slap you and throw away that model."

---------------

I go to the bank to open an account:

teller: "So what's your major?"
me: "Architecture."
t: "Oh so, do you want to go into the construction side or business?"
m: "umm, design?"

----------------

My design professor two days before mid-review to the class:

"At this point you all need to stop thinking and just do. Make reckless decisions now."

LAMe I think your last one is actually very good advice and not dumb at all...

At a final M.Arch review...


visiting prof: "So across the street from your site is this rather large freight train rail yard?"


student: "Yes"


visiting prof: "And your chosen project is a crematorium?"


student: "Yes"


visiting prof: "And you don't see any problem with that?"


student: "Uhmm..."

my studio tutor yesterday when discussing a fellow students plans . . . "Those are as flat as a witches tit!"

My first semester, first year, as an undergrad, at a dinner the other students and the Dean.

Dean polls the students, "If we could invite anyone, who would you like to give a lecture at the school?"


I'm sitting to his right, and unfortunately have to go first, at this point I know maybe 3 architects names. I pick the wrong one.

Me: "umm...probably Louis Kahn."

Dean: "Well yeah, me too, but if they had to be alive...."

A the end of my third year I was sitting in studio doing whatever we did back then. A girl in the class walks up to me with a scale in her hands and asks me, "How do you use this?" Couldn't believe what I had just heard but went on to give her a one minute class on the intricacies of using various different scales. After we graduated I found out this same person was accpeted into an March program and had also become a TA.

LAMe--

Tell your prof that Yale does have an undergrad program...

PROFESSOR TO STUDENT: What the hell is the Crest toothpaste in your model represent? Student to Professor: Oh that is the stream running thru the property.

Sitting in on an ecotect workshop....

Speaker: "just use the space-bar to toggle between components"

Girl behind me: " Whats a space-bar?"

why is it so important to know the names of dead architects?

Second year first semester, girl asking for help...

Girl: How big is a typical elevator?
My Friend: About 6'x8'
Girl: What about the other two sides?

She continues to devalue my degree to this day...

If had to hear the word 'juxtapose', or the term 'delightful little patina'
one more quarter, there was gonna be a sudden drop in the population of effeminate lil' archi-dorks @ Georgia TecK.

"You didn't go inside the building?!?" bellowed by a nearby professor to student who did not go into a building he was supposed to be researching (Crown Hall).

Very funny, if you know the professor, since he worked with Mies.

"Are you guys accepting applications" Some guys walked in our studio class thinking we were a bussiness-- they were looking for work.

This actually was not a stupid thing to say, if they had not notice the big bold lettering over the door & building.... " NEWSCHOOL OF ARCHITECTURE & DESIGN" -

People in the studio just blew them off.....

when they might of had some good model building experience,
You never know.

"So have you ever seen Entourage...?

I've heard a few good ones, but one jumps to mind right now.

Context: intro tutorial to Rhino, first year
Instructor: Who here has 3D modelling experience?
Student (vehemently opposed to using computers): What kind of 3D modelling? Because there are different kinds you know; like I've built 3D cardboard models before.

critic- 'that chair isn't ergonomic'
designer- 'did you sit in it yet'
critic- 'no'
designer- 'well then'