having just finished a lengthy conversation with my girlfriend about fonts in a resume (i was trying to defend the sans-serif...yes, this is embarrasingly lame to confess) but i was suddenly reminded of all the times we've conversed and i've not been quite able to properly communicate my opinion on something...this is certainly not a big problem (and more often than not i'm sure it's the fact that i'm a shitty communicator.), or a crucial disagreement, but the question for the archinect universe as a little survey is:
what are some of the challenges faced as someone in the design profession whilst dating/married/befriended to someone of a different vocation: do you feel irrelevent, obselete, or overbearing? are there moments of special compatability?
what's the deal?
if there are any ready-made anecdotes, i'd be much obliged.
and no, i haven't searched the vast reaches of this website to determine if this topic has been hashed and rehashed many times over.
Oh my goodness. Funny, and along the same lines....
When I tell people that I am trying to practice sustainable architecture, I get the same blank stares from all of them. Then when they say, "what's that?", I say, "solar panels". Then they understand! Works every time.
mfrech I'm sure you'll find many many others that share the difficulties. I found it difficult to explain several things, like bringing a sketch book to dinner, simply watching the light show without constructivist references, or the need to wear full black to venues where architects are usually the minorites
My s/o and I are both currently students. She's doing a degree in environmental studies, and from what I understand (she's just getting started), she wants to focus on urban planning and policy.
My interests are related to sustainable design (in many forms), and so environmental issues are never far from the table in our house, as are discussions about fairly heavy social issues (addiction, homelessness, prostitution, native rights) because her previous education and experience are in social services.
You won't find us hours-deep in discussions about French existential philosophy of the mid-1900's, but if you're interested in knowing about the brutal oppression of the natives of our beloved country of Canada, you're in the right place.
compartmentalize. you don't have to talk architecture and act architecture all the time.
we can get excited about a lot of the same things: going out to new places for dinner, planning trips, planting/gardening, and (occasionally) the design of our house renovation. so we talk about these things that interest both of us when we're together.
i talk enough about architecture at work and here.
i always have at least one - usually two, different sizes - sketchbook(s) in my bag, as well as an arch mag of some kind. and a digital camera. i just don't make a deal of them unless the circumstances warrant.]
The only real difficulties between my wife and i (she = business) is when i am engulfed in a project, and have bunkered myself into my little home studio for the weekend - that when i emerge for food and toilet - i really could care less about having a conversation... or even driving the hour back home to join in a family gathering
other than that there are very little difficulties, although she is of a different vocation she is extremely passionate about her work, so that definately helps...
i guess another thing, not too big of a deal, but when we travel, and stop to see a new building - it would be nice to have someone that is able to engage in a discussion with (she tries though and is getting better the more i explain to her)
and one more...
she keeps telling me that she is going to learn AutoCAD and Rhino, but never does - I need an intern!
agreed elinor-
so i just decided to stick with dating another architect. it's so much easier that way. then when people ask what we do for a living, we gang up on them and make them feel like fools for even asking. seems to work quite well actually.
and dubK- i totally understand telling someone about sustainable design... imagine telling them you're studying post-disaster sustainable architecture...
i just say "remember that big wave that hit sri lanka?"
then they ask if i am going to put solar panels there...
i only have you to blame for that, by the way :)
I married a family practice doctor and when I complain about my world I just listen to her talk about her world...and then I feel very lucky that I do not practice medicine and I know that I would have never even made it out of medical school.
I think having diversity in a relationship is great...you get to become aware of issues outside of your perspective.
cln1 what are you doing with my wife? JK but you just described my wife. I actually find it refreshing to talk to someone who A. isn't involved in design and B. isn't a celebrity obsessed idiot.
Although she is still learning to archi speak she has a great eye and can usually find the good and bad of most projects I show her.
my wife knows waaay too much about architecture for someone who isn't interested in it at all. for which i am profoundly sorry. i mean one of our first road trip type dates was a trip to kyoto and osaka where we spent our days visiting buildings by tadao ando (who i in the process learned to dislike profoundly as an architect, btw)...
i wouldn't do that to her anymore and have learned to keep discussions about architecture limited to how it will affect our finances and holidays. apart from that we don't discuss architecture. i save it for my partner, and talk about other impt stuff with wife. it is not an issue for either of us.
jasoncross, I also married a woman in the medical profession. She is a PA in electrophysiology.
I compalin about my day and how I had to redo 40 boards because they wanted to make changes at the last minute, and then she tells me how she had to shock people's chests all day to get their hearts beating again. It kind of puts what I do now into perspective a bit, ha.
It may be a bit different once I go back to school. I will have less time with her and I am sure our conversations will be less about our job/school problems and more about what we DO have in common (a love for the environment, vegetarianism, politics, and of course, vermi-composting!)
i take my girlfriend travelling pretty extensively. 8/10 times, we're stopping random places for the art/artchitecture (a la marfa, tucson, seville, valencia, etc)
she's in the med field, but has a much greater appreciation of architecture than most people i went to school with. and her tastes are matched up with mine, so it works out well.
politically, we're at extreme opposites, so it makes for a lot of fun fighting.
and although i'm more into construction than design at this point of my career - oh, the disagreements...
but its really comforting to know that she understands the terminology when i'm complaining about the contractor's eff-ups.
but we do NOT talk about any aesthetic approaches to architectural design. strictly practical and efficiency in any of my or others' design choices. bear in mind - engineers typically approach design problems pragmatically, looking for simplicity in use. it helps.
i am also in this sort of situation... i've tried to make her understand a bit of what i do (or rather what I would like to do)... and occasionally it kinda hits on a basic humanitarian level... but it seems like my girlfriend is squarely oblivious to the fact that my thoughts about architecture impact my day to day life, i have some ethical problems with moving into the suburbs... but she seems to be so rooted in her childhood dreams about that white picket fence and 2.5 kids, it's sickening... maybe sickening is a bit harsh...
i get hives when I think of moving into these CC (cape cods for you non-house searchers) that have been "modified" (modified as defined by the unbeknownst home owner: "we took the porch screened thing and made it to a room! it has this paneling- looks like wood, but it aint! and and we put a ping pong table in it! ya like it?? whereas i begin to gag silently) this little cc in the sub suburbs, .3 kilometers away from a wawa/gas station combo with white pickt fence (those little 12" ones) around the front lawn, elm trees, squirrels, and birds that shit like albatrosses. i had to train my wife (yes...i said train) to see the fallacy of this living situation. theres at least 20 different scenarios like this.
kyll, i can't imagine being married to a civil engineer...
i've talked about my archi-relationship with my wife here before, but here it is again...
that being said, my wife is an attorney... unfortunately (as of yet) it hasn't resulted in the large influx of cash that you might expect since she is a prosecutor (state attorney to be precise)... hopefully she'll eventually move into private practice to support my poor architect ass so that i can do fun stuff... right now i actually make more money than she does in our bizarro world...
architecture-wise we're very compatible... i've slowly brainwashed her into a modern loving urbanite over the past 10 years since we graduated from highschool and left our typical suburban family lives... i often wonder what her parents think since once upon a time she was the big lawn, big house, white picket fence, and cherry wood furniture loving person that you would expect given her up-bringing in an upper class suburban family with a doctor and engineer as parents... now we live in a downtown townhouse with cleanlined modern furniture and no yard to speak of...
she actually knows more about architecture than most of my architect friends... and sometimes when we visit buildings while on vacation she acts like even more of an archi-dork than i do... she can actually see some buildings and unprompted name the architect...
"hon - look - i like the clean lines on this bldg. its different than those surrounding it. it has a rustic exposed elements feel to it - you know - ducts and pipes hanging from the 12 foot high ceilings. maybe we could renovate it to several modern condos and sell off the rest...whadya think"
architphil, how does this brainwashing process work? are there CD's I can have my girlfriend listen to at night, to absorb more socially and sustainably sensitive values? a pill?
haha postal... actually i'm not really sure how the transition happened... i think that it was really just through osmosis... our house is filled with architectural magazines and books which she occasionally flips through too... and most of our good friends are architects so our dinner conversations tend to always drift toward architecture... now we always make fun of her parents mcmansion(s) and their two-toned fixtures...
I'm getting the feeling that I'm pretty fortunate. My g/f and I come from similar backgrounds, although our opinions differ widely in some areas. Her father built the first house she lived in with his bare hands. He's a mechanical engineer/designer (most recently worked on the Airbus A380).
She is especially interested in architecture right now because we're shopping for our first house. Our conversation, as she fell asleep in bed last night, revolved around my requirements for our new house, as we flipped through books of eye-candy architecture. That's her level of involvement, but I'm trying to bring her around.
As for me, I've lived in the downtown core of every city I've ever lived in, for my whole life. However, I spent summers either on a farm or on a boat (neither of which belonged to my family) and as soon as I can get out of the city, I will. Not to suburbia, mind you, but to a proper farm. I grew up in a tiny 2-bedroom home with a postage-size lawn and literally no backyard. I have fond memories of growing up, but that had more to do with my neighbours than the 'hood itself. Thus, I think I'm reacting to my childhood lack of space, and am seeking out something a little larger, possibly even with a separate workshop on the property.
1. leave countless architecture journals, books, sketches, etc around the house
2. invite architecture buddy's over for dinner at least twice a week (lletdown, up for some chicken marsala?)
once i've maybe softened her brain a bit:
3. leave out some medical journals / some applications to med school
4. talk about saving lives like its the most meaningful thing a person can do
bam...instant sugar momma whose values more closely align with mine
...actually, i think she needs a close friend that has values closer to mine... all she talks to are her suburban coworkers, parents, etc... hmm... she'll never listen to me...
i need to plant a mole deep within her social network
my girlfriend (7-plus years) steals my new issues of dwell and metropolis and takes them to work. does that count as a shared understanding of architecture? that's a good thing, right? i'm counting it as a good thing.
I was having a convo with my best friend, licensed doctor presently based in Europe...whose presently on a jaunt to Spain. I give her an extensive list of things to see - all architectural. And we get into a conversation about languages - she speaks 4 vs my single. I think i might have to place her on the market. However she will be my sugar momma ... someone has to buy my a db3
slantsix, have you ever lived on a farm? a real farm, not an exurban fantasy spread?
i grew up in the inner city as child of 1st generation to leave the farm, but spent at least 2 months each year mucking barns, feeding the cows, laying out the salt licks, bailing, running the combine, etc etc etc. oh, and picking potato bugs from a HUGE fucking area of infested crop by fucking hand (when i was 8!), only to be paid in corn ( ! ), cuz that was what my mom worked out for me and my brother.
It is not a nice life unless you love it. really really love it. me i love the rodeo and cowboy boots, but i live in Tokyo cuz it really does suit me best. Farming requires commitment.
Oh wait, you aren't planning to farm on any land you buy, are you?
I tried to talk my wife out of medicine and into art (she is a very talented painter)...I am glad I lost the argument though as now she does art and practices medicine...
Entasis - yes, I can never complain about my day once I hear what she does...and she doesn't complain about it, I ask.
Tomorrow she will work her third over night shift at the hospital in 2 weeks. 36 hour shifts where making a model would be a dream compared to admitting 12 - 16 patients and dealing with everything from child birth to gunshot wounds.
Plus, she is 7 months pregnant...my wife kicks ass, period. And, doctors own architects when it comes to devotion to the job and passion for the work...not to mention hours worked.
jump - i'm not sure if you are being facetious or condescending or what. Call me confused.
I have been working - and getting paid for it - since I was 7 years old. I'm not afraid of hard work. I have experience in farming, construction, maintenance... I drove a forklift for a time in my teens. One of my jobs was to work in and supervise an organic farm, and this was when I was 16. I'm sure I've lost a lot of that knowledge, but I'm not ignorant about the amount and difficulty of work involved.
Having said that, if I were to buy a farm (which won't be for a while), I would likely keep a couple of acres for myself and my partner to grow a small plot of veggies for us and friends. We've done this successfully in the past, and in the city at that. The rest of the land, assuming there was more, I would rent out to a farmer. This is common here in Ontario, and it works.
The honest truth is, I don't feel any real connection to the city. I know that this is an unpopular opinion amongst architects, who seem to want everybody to live in small boxes stacked on one another. I don't feel that's a humane, or very human, way to live. I lived like that in downtown Toronto for five years, and it really rubbed me the wrong way. I would rather be out throwing bales of hay than worrying about whether or not I'm wearing the right black turtleneck to meet my friends Starbucks.
Yeah, I have a chip on my shoulder, but I've always done things my own way and life's been pretty great to me so far.
Namby, she has a sister that is a spitting image of her.
But wait, her sister found Jesus a few years ago and is constantly stating to my gf and myself how unfortunate it is that we haven't met a good guy yet and that is why we are in a 'gay phase.'
I'll give her your number if your still interested.
sorry slantsix. i was taking the piss. all properly inspired by careful reading of the perpetually frothing new urbanist howard kunstler.
actually, it is ironic that farming is one of those businesses that require a lifestyle commitment, just like architecture. schedule is dawn to dusk, and sometimes all night through too. spouses of farmers need to be as accepting of "the way" as the spouses of architects, and as equally willing to accept hardships for a way of life that pays no money and is hard on both body and soul...funny isn't it?
...an exurb is when you build a suburban house on farmland and plant a garden, and likeminded people do the same. basically it is the next step in suburban sprawl, or maybe a back to basics thing, mimicking roman villas of old...either way it usually means a slow end to farming...which is i suppose ok, but all my family are farmers and i am bitter that they can't earn a living at it anymore. not your fault. just the way the world works, at least in manitoba.
you had better hurry though. the farms i used to work on are no longer there, all bought out by agri-businesses, including the one my uncle used to own (and still works on as a labourer, just to rub it in).
jump, man, we're supposed to be homeboys! Something about school pride or something. Hopefully I'll be graduating from UManitoba sometime in the next decade ;)
I do understand your concern, especially considering your background and the situation of your uncle. I'm no fan of suburban sprawl.
I feel that if I move to a farm that's been in existence for decades (or a century), then it's likely that I'm not contributing to suburban sprawl. This is all hinged on whether or not I'm commuting to work, which, given the choice, I won't do. I've done it for school in the past and it just stinks. I've lived within walking distance of my workplace for nearly a decade, and I love it (and I've moved a half-dozen times during that time period, always careful to rent apartments close to work).
Living in the city doesn't automatically mean living better, either. My current house of 700 sq.ft sits on 2 acres, ostensibly with a lot of wasted space. I know that's not the only issue with urban vs exurban living, but I've lived in a pseudo-modernist tower block and it basically sucked my will to live. In the year there, I never learned ANY of my neighbours' names, and in fact, only saw my neighbours a couple of times.
significant others and disparate vocations!
having just finished a lengthy conversation with my girlfriend about fonts in a resume (i was trying to defend the sans-serif...yes, this is embarrasingly lame to confess) but i was suddenly reminded of all the times we've conversed and i've not been quite able to properly communicate my opinion on something...this is certainly not a big problem (and more often than not i'm sure it's the fact that i'm a shitty communicator.), or a crucial disagreement, but the question for the archinect universe as a little survey is:
what are some of the challenges faced as someone in the design profession whilst dating/married/befriended to someone of a different vocation: do you feel irrelevent, obselete, or overbearing? are there moments of special compatability?
what's the deal?
if there are any ready-made anecdotes, i'd be much obliged.
and no, i haven't searched the vast reaches of this website to determine if this topic has been hashed and rehashed many times over.
please, have at it! thanks.
Oh my goodness. Funny, and along the same lines....
When I tell people that I am trying to practice sustainable architecture, I get the same blank stares from all of them. Then when they say, "what's that?", I say, "solar panels". Then they understand! Works every time.
lol dubK
mfrech I'm sure you'll find many many others that share the difficulties. I found it difficult to explain several things, like bringing a sketch book to dinner, simply watching the light show without constructivist references, or the need to wear full black to venues where architects are usually the minorites
ahhh...why bother? it's impossible. no one will ever understand us but our own kind.
My s/o and I are both currently students. She's doing a degree in environmental studies, and from what I understand (she's just getting started), she wants to focus on urban planning and policy.
My interests are related to sustainable design (in many forms), and so environmental issues are never far from the table in our house, as are discussions about fairly heavy social issues (addiction, homelessness, prostitution, native rights) because her previous education and experience are in social services.
You won't find us hours-deep in discussions about French existential philosophy of the mid-1900's, but if you're interested in knowing about the brutal oppression of the natives of our beloved country of Canada, you're in the right place.
compartmentalize. you don't have to talk architecture and act architecture all the time.
we can get excited about a lot of the same things: going out to new places for dinner, planning trips, planting/gardening, and (occasionally) the design of our house renovation. so we talk about these things that interest both of us when we're together.
i talk enough about architecture at work and here.
[full disclosure:
i always have at least one - usually two, different sizes - sketchbook(s) in my bag, as well as an arch mag of some kind. and a digital camera. i just don't make a deal of them unless the circumstances warrant.]
The only real difficulties between my wife and i (she = business) is when i am engulfed in a project, and have bunkered myself into my little home studio for the weekend - that when i emerge for food and toilet - i really could care less about having a conversation... or even driving the hour back home to join in a family gathering
other than that there are very little difficulties, although she is of a different vocation she is extremely passionate about her work, so that definately helps...
i guess another thing, not too big of a deal, but when we travel, and stop to see a new building - it would be nice to have someone that is able to engage in a discussion with (she tries though and is getting better the more i explain to her)
and one more...
she keeps telling me that she is going to learn AutoCAD and Rhino, but never does - I need an intern!
If your wife was an english professor you would have a problem because you should have written "between my wife and me". that is all.
thanks chief!
agreed elinor-
so i just decided to stick with dating another architect. it's so much easier that way. then when people ask what we do for a living, we gang up on them and make them feel like fools for even asking. seems to work quite well actually.
and dubK- i totally understand telling someone about sustainable design... imagine telling them you're studying post-disaster sustainable architecture...
i just say "remember that big wave that hit sri lanka?"
then they ask if i am going to put solar panels there...
i only have you to blame for that, by the way :)
+i, the gang-up strategy sounds great!
My strategy has basically been to stop dating altogether. Anyone who understands me is too weird, anyone who is normal enough doesn't understand me.
I married a family practice doctor and when I complain about my world I just listen to her talk about her world...and then I feel very lucky that I do not practice medicine and I know that I would have never even made it out of medical school.
I think having diversity in a relationship is great...you get to become aware of issues outside of your perspective.
cln1 what are you doing with my wife? JK but you just described my wife. I actually find it refreshing to talk to someone who A. isn't involved in design and B. isn't a celebrity obsessed idiot.
Although she is still learning to archi speak she has a great eye and can usually find the good and bad of most projects I show her.
my wife knows waaay too much about architecture for someone who isn't interested in it at all. for which i am profoundly sorry. i mean one of our first road trip type dates was a trip to kyoto and osaka where we spent our days visiting buildings by tadao ando (who i in the process learned to dislike profoundly as an architect, btw)...
i wouldn't do that to her anymore and have learned to keep discussions about architecture limited to how it will affect our finances and holidays. apart from that we don't discuss architecture. i save it for my partner, and talk about other impt stuff with wife. it is not an issue for either of us.
I did the smart thing and asked an artist to marry me. Now I'm the normal one!
marry a lawyer
jasoncross, I also married a woman in the medical profession. She is a PA in electrophysiology.
I compalin about my day and how I had to redo 40 boards because they wanted to make changes at the last minute, and then she tells me how she had to shock people's chests all day to get their hearts beating again. It kind of puts what I do now into perspective a bit, ha.
It may be a bit different once I go back to school. I will have less time with her and I am sure our conversations will be less about our job/school problems and more about what we DO have in common (a love for the environment, vegetarianism, politics, and of course, vermi-composting!)
i take my girlfriend travelling pretty extensively. 8/10 times, we're stopping random places for the art/artchitecture (a la marfa, tucson, seville, valencia, etc)
she's in the med field, but has a much greater appreciation of architecture than most people i went to school with. and her tastes are matched up with mine, so it works out well.
politically, we're at extreme opposites, so it makes for a lot of fun fighting.
i married a civil engineer.....
and although i'm more into construction than design at this point of my career - oh, the disagreements...
but its really comforting to know that she understands the terminology when i'm complaining about the contractor's eff-ups.
but we do NOT talk about any aesthetic approaches to architectural design. strictly practical and efficiency in any of my or others' design choices. bear in mind - engineers typically approach design problems pragmatically, looking for simplicity in use. it helps.
but aesthetic approach - she leaves the room...
interesting topic...
i am also in this sort of situation... i've tried to make her understand a bit of what i do (or rather what I would like to do)... and occasionally it kinda hits on a basic humanitarian level... but it seems like my girlfriend is squarely oblivious to the fact that my thoughts about architecture impact my day to day life, i have some ethical problems with moving into the suburbs... but she seems to be so rooted in her childhood dreams about that white picket fence and 2.5 kids, it's sickening... maybe sickening is a bit harsh...
bah...
dont make me go _________,
harsh? no dude SICKENING is an understatement!
i get hives when I think of moving into these CC (cape cods for you non-house searchers) that have been "modified" (modified as defined by the unbeknownst home owner: "we took the porch screened thing and made it to a room! it has this paneling- looks like wood, but it aint! and and we put a ping pong table in it! ya like it?? whereas i begin to gag silently) this little cc in the sub suburbs, .3 kilometers away from a wawa/gas station combo with white pickt fence (those little 12" ones) around the front lawn, elm trees, squirrels, and birds that shit like albatrosses. i had to train my wife (yes...i said train) to see the fallacy of this living situation. theres at least 20 different scenarios like this.
hence - we have yet to find a home to buy...
kyll, can you be my realtor when I start looking for property?
2 against one would certainly improve my odds against this stonefaced "because i want that" arguement she uses...
What's the secret to getting hooked up with the doctor hotties?
I cruise and put out the vibe at the emergency rooms every Friday and Saturday night.
She says...
He says...
We get...
Next time, we use my Realtor.
kyll, i can't imagine being married to a civil engineer...
i've talked about my archi-relationship with my wife here before, but here it is again...
that being said, my wife is an attorney... unfortunately (as of yet) it hasn't resulted in the large influx of cash that you might expect since she is a prosecutor (state attorney to be precise)... hopefully she'll eventually move into private practice to support my poor architect ass so that i can do fun stuff... right now i actually make more money than she does in our bizarro world...
architecture-wise we're very compatible... i've slowly brainwashed her into a modern loving urbanite over the past 10 years since we graduated from highschool and left our typical suburban family lives... i often wonder what her parents think since once upon a time she was the big lawn, big house, white picket fence, and cherry wood furniture loving person that you would expect given her up-bringing in an upper class suburban family with a doctor and engineer as parents... now we live in a downtown townhouse with cleanlined modern furniture and no yard to speak of...
she actually knows more about architecture than most of my architect friends... and sometimes when we visit buildings while on vacation she acts like even more of an archi-dork than i do... she can actually see some buildings and unprompted name the architect...
typical house drive by with civil engiwife:
"hon - look - i like the clean lines on this bldg. its different than those surrounding it. it has a rustic exposed elements feel to it - you know - ducts and pipes hanging from the 12 foot high ceilings. maybe we could renovate it to several modern condos and sell off the rest...whadya think"
"i wonder if the soil is contaminated."
"forget it..."
My fiancee is a computer engineer and we get along fabulously.
architphil, how does this brainwashing process work? are there CD's I can have my girlfriend listen to at night, to absorb more socially and sustainably sensitive values? a pill?
haha postal... actually i'm not really sure how the transition happened... i think that it was really just through osmosis... our house is filled with architectural magazines and books which she occasionally flips through too... and most of our good friends are architects so our dinner conversations tend to always drift toward architecture... now we always make fun of her parents mcmansion(s) and their two-toned fixtures...
I'm getting the feeling that I'm pretty fortunate. My g/f and I come from similar backgrounds, although our opinions differ widely in some areas. Her father built the first house she lived in with his bare hands. He's a mechanical engineer/designer (most recently worked on the Airbus A380).
She is especially interested in architecture right now because we're shopping for our first house. Our conversation, as she fell asleep in bed last night, revolved around my requirements for our new house, as we flipped through books of eye-candy architecture. That's her level of involvement, but I'm trying to bring her around.
As for me, I've lived in the downtown core of every city I've ever lived in, for my whole life. However, I spent summers either on a farm or on a boat (neither of which belonged to my family) and as soon as I can get out of the city, I will. Not to suburbia, mind you, but to a proper farm. I grew up in a tiny 2-bedroom home with a postage-size lawn and literally no backyard. I have fond memories of growing up, but that had more to do with my neighbours than the 'hood itself. Thus, I think I'm reacting to my childhood lack of space, and am seeking out something a little larger, possibly even with a separate workshop on the property.
all right, so here's the plan:
1. leave countless architecture journals, books, sketches, etc around the house
2. invite architecture buddy's over for dinner at least twice a week (lletdown, up for some chicken marsala?)
once i've maybe softened her brain a bit:
3. leave out some medical journals / some applications to med school
4. talk about saving lives like its the most meaningful thing a person can do
bam...instant sugar momma whose values more closely align with mine
...actually, i think she needs a close friend that has values closer to mine... all she talks to are her suburban coworkers, parents, etc... hmm... she'll never listen to me...
i need to plant a mole deep within her social network
my girlfriend (7-plus years) steals my new issues of dwell and metropolis and takes them to work. does that count as a shared understanding of architecture? that's a good thing, right? i'm counting it as a good thing.
postal...sounds good
I was having a convo with my best friend, licensed doctor presently based in Europe...whose presently on a jaunt to Spain. I give her an extensive list of things to see - all architectural. And we get into a conversation about languages - she speaks 4 vs my single. I think i might have to place her on the market. However she will be my sugar momma ... someone has to buy my a db3
slantsix, have you ever lived on a farm? a real farm, not an exurban fantasy spread?
i grew up in the inner city as child of 1st generation to leave the farm, but spent at least 2 months each year mucking barns, feeding the cows, laying out the salt licks, bailing, running the combine, etc etc etc. oh, and picking potato bugs from a HUGE fucking area of infested crop by fucking hand (when i was 8!), only to be paid in corn ( ! ), cuz that was what my mom worked out for me and my brother.
It is not a nice life unless you love it. really really love it. me i love the rodeo and cowboy boots, but i live in Tokyo cuz it really does suit me best. Farming requires commitment.
Oh wait, you aren't planning to farm on any land you buy, are you?
nevermind.
I tried to talk my wife out of medicine and into art (she is a very talented painter)...I am glad I lost the argument though as now she does art and practices medicine...
Entasis - yes, I can never complain about my day once I hear what she does...and she doesn't complain about it, I ask.
Tomorrow she will work her third over night shift at the hospital in 2 weeks. 36 hour shifts where making a model would be a dream compared to admitting 12 - 16 patients and dealing with everything from child birth to gunshot wounds.
Plus, she is 7 months pregnant...my wife kicks ass, period. And, doctors own architects when it comes to devotion to the job and passion for the work...not to mention hours worked.
best relationship ever: fashion designer!
I want to marry a doctor!
I am dating someone who is currently obtaining a Ph.D in reiligion while simutaneously getting her law degree. She loves architecture, too.
Hot damn, we have great dinner conversations.
elvischyld, she got any twins?
my ex girlfriend/future wife is getting a phd at cambridge(the real one) and writing about postcolonialism and the sublime.
jump - i'm not sure if you are being facetious or condescending or what. Call me confused.
I have been working - and getting paid for it - since I was 7 years old. I'm not afraid of hard work. I have experience in farming, construction, maintenance... I drove a forklift for a time in my teens. One of my jobs was to work in and supervise an organic farm, and this was when I was 16. I'm sure I've lost a lot of that knowledge, but I'm not ignorant about the amount and difficulty of work involved.
Having said that, if I were to buy a farm (which won't be for a while), I would likely keep a couple of acres for myself and my partner to grow a small plot of veggies for us and friends. We've done this successfully in the past, and in the city at that. The rest of the land, assuming there was more, I would rent out to a farmer. This is common here in Ontario, and it works.
The honest truth is, I don't feel any real connection to the city. I know that this is an unpopular opinion amongst architects, who seem to want everybody to live in small boxes stacked on one another. I don't feel that's a humane, or very human, way to live. I lived like that in downtown Toronto for five years, and it really rubbed me the wrong way. I would rather be out throwing bales of hay than worrying about whether or not I'm wearing the right black turtleneck to meet my friends Starbucks.
Yeah, I have a chip on my shoulder, but I've always done things my own way and life's been pretty great to me so far.
I'm not even quite sure exactly what an 'exurban fantasy spread' is, but no, that's not the goal, I assure you.
as steve mcqueen once said, "i'd rather wake up in the middle of nowhere, than in any city on earth."
Namby, she has a sister that is a spitting image of her.
But wait, her sister found Jesus a few years ago and is constantly stating to my gf and myself how unfortunate it is that we haven't met a good guy yet and that is why we are in a 'gay phase.'
I'll give her your number if your still interested.
sorry slantsix. i was taking the piss. all properly inspired by careful reading of the perpetually frothing new urbanist howard kunstler.
actually, it is ironic that farming is one of those businesses that require a lifestyle commitment, just like architecture. schedule is dawn to dusk, and sometimes all night through too. spouses of farmers need to be as accepting of "the way" as the spouses of architects, and as equally willing to accept hardships for a way of life that pays no money and is hard on both body and soul...funny isn't it?
...an exurb is when you build a suburban house on farmland and plant a garden, and likeminded people do the same. basically it is the next step in suburban sprawl, or maybe a back to basics thing, mimicking roman villas of old...either way it usually means a slow end to farming...which is i suppose ok, but all my family are farmers and i am bitter that they can't earn a living at it anymore. not your fault. just the way the world works, at least in manitoba.
you had better hurry though. the farms i used to work on are no longer there, all bought out by agri-businesses, including the one my uncle used to own (and still works on as a labourer, just to rub it in).
best of luck to you though.
jump, man, we're supposed to be homeboys! Something about school pride or something. Hopefully I'll be graduating from UManitoba sometime in the next decade ;)
I do understand your concern, especially considering your background and the situation of your uncle. I'm no fan of suburban sprawl.
I feel that if I move to a farm that's been in existence for decades (or a century), then it's likely that I'm not contributing to suburban sprawl. This is all hinged on whether or not I'm commuting to work, which, given the choice, I won't do. I've done it for school in the past and it just stinks. I've lived within walking distance of my workplace for nearly a decade, and I love it (and I've moved a half-dozen times during that time period, always careful to rent apartments close to work).
Living in the city doesn't automatically mean living better, either. My current house of 700 sq.ft sits on 2 acres, ostensibly with a lot of wasted space. I know that's not the only issue with urban vs exurban living, but I've lived in a pseudo-modernist tower block and it basically sucked my will to live. In the year there, I never learned ANY of my neighbours' names, and in fact, only saw my neighbours a couple of times.
I feel that I should say two things now:
1) my opinions are subject to change as I learn more about these issues; and
2) sorry for getting the thread so off-topic.
Carry on.
elvischyld... thanks for the offer, but based on your description I don't think *she* would be interested. Since I'm a lady myself and all.
homeboys....its been a while since i've heard anyone called that. Yippee for *six for the word of the day.
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