I think it comes back to the "Golden Rule" - you act the way you would like to see others act.

I recently made a flippant remark to a client over a minor problem on their job, and the next day (after laying awake all night worrying about it) I walked through their door, directly apologized for my flippancy, and said of course I would do whatever they thought was appropriate to get the problem fixed. The obvious gratitude in their eyes for dealing with it directly was worth every bit of swallowing my pride and later pain-in-the-ass phone call bartering to get it taken care of.

Speaking of which, getting it taken care of was not about getting angry and blaming the sub fro poor work - which it could have been - but was gently and as a team member reminding everyone that this was a problem in the Owner's eyes and since we value our reputations as craftsmen we need to do what it takes to get it right.

Of course I'm not always this graceful about dealing with problems, I've definitely thrown a temper tantrum or two! But for me I guess it's important to try deal with the work as an effort that pulls the best out of everyone involved, and especially to respect everyone for what they bring to the job. It's an interesting question, thanks for asking it.

i don't know man, I don't know.

You are in trouble if you are looking to such efforts for self-definition.

I would say that one's character is essential in this business. Integrity, professionalism, determination, a strong work ethic and commitment help to define one's character. If you look after the items above, work will find you and finances will take care of themselves.

A very big set of questions Basler, even if it is a long day. I am pretty sure, there is certainly NO OBJECT that can sum it up. You are asking very inward and psychological questions. I agree with Whistler on many points. But to look at the question of defining ones self as a human?....well this is a bigger more existential question, don’t you think?

Personally, I have looked minimally to my job, profession, or career to define myself as a human. I might have thought more ideally about this when I was in under-grad., grad school, or earlier in my career. Work ethic, integrity, leadership, and a sense of conscience are always good things to own. Perhaps defining myself as a human comes from how I assist people or how I can shape other’s lives to be richer and better, including my family, my friends, my barista, my grocer, my dentist, etc. And as a quintessential quality in a good exchange, how these folks shape me. Our actions define us, in all aspects of our being. And like all things, those actions change over time, and so do the re-actions. The great thing about life is change. Accepting this reality will keep you at the top of your game, ahead of the curve, and more than likely keep those around you happy in your presence.

imho, my self-view comes both from a certain amount of introspection and self-analysis, aimed at long term improvement -- but also from a genuine effort each day to treat the people around me with respect and to do whatever i'm doing the best that i can. i don't demand perfection of myself, but i do expect an effort to be decent and strong and capable and honest. i'm less interested in being famous than i am in being competent. i'm less interested in being liked than i am in being respected. i don't define myself as an architect, but as a decent person who practices architecture. i'm okay with that.

hang in there, basler !

yeah, in my last job... my daily non-deserved beatdowns defined who i was. don't let that happen.

otherwise, agree with a lot of what has been said, it's your actions that help define who you are. and we could probably all use a little improvement.
or maybe it's just me, and i need a lot.