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feeling weird at my job or i am 'too emotional' for architecture office?

apple_pie_21

Hello friends,

i d like to ask you about the work environment. I graduated a few years ago and 2 months after I was glad I found a job in an archi office in my city. When i came to the interview I told my boss that I wanted to gain more experience, that i wanted to get a licence in the future and i would like to take every steps possible to do it. He offered me 1 year- agreement with a possibility to prolong. So during that year  i have learnt that usually architects that are already working in an office more than 5-10-20 years are not willing to talk to me, to get to know me. I started being very shy and having a 'shell' around me because i couldnt get their vibe. They threw me to professional work without training, i was kind of failing some tests but i kept working. "Failing tests meaning working in a professional projects ( without previous 'schooling'). When i was asking questions they didnt want to answer them, some people my age who have worked here for mor ethan 4-5 years before me- were rolling eyes when i wanted to know something. I felt very bad inside because I knew i lack something but i didnt know what. Additionally boss is very disorganised and he doesnt know how people work. He doesnt care what is between coworkers , he only takes opinion about for example me and others- from others coworkers. So even thought he gave me a green light in a interview because he liked my portfolio and workshops and competitions , he didnt know how other coworkers treated me. I have been working there more than 2 years and actually every year my agreement is prolonging. So that is cool. I have learnt a lot those 2 years back, even thought people didnt want to be around me. Everyone wants to be the boss 's best worker, wheni wanted to say something they were disturbing my speeches and etc. I found it rude and unpleasant as a passive agressive way of 'avoiding or fighting with me'. After 1.5 years i came to my boss and told him how can he see me because i need a guidance to my licence in the future. He told me he will not let e go to the building site for 1 year now to complete the licence . He told me i am not experienced. And it was very bad to me because i wanna learn and most of my friends did get building site experience during university . I didnt because i wanted to go to particular office and then go to their building site. He didnt let me. I felt very bad because i dont know why. So he doesnt want me to progress even in this? During pancemics and last 2020 year everything changed. There were problems with money , we were given 80-70% of our salary but the office didnt quit. Its an old office with a history and traditin thats why boss doesnt want it to quit. During covid-19 and lockdown we work from home. Its been many times that my coworkers didnt share some projects with me and didnt put me in some  conversatiosn regarding projects. Last year i was warned by some coworker who is my age that if its not my level i should quit and i was like what??? he has been working there more than 4-5 years and it was just my 1 years of working here. I dont understand. This year i also had an unpleasant conversation with other coworker who will never let me progress. She is a leading architect in my team and she treats me even now like a student or a pupil. She doesnt even let me design after 2 years and when i told her this she told me its not 'my level'. I dont understand because my other colleques and friends who work in other offices already got liceces or are in a path of doing the licence. Noone from my job talks to me about the licence , i only got informatiosn from my other friends from university. I feel weirdly abandoned as people are not willing to work with me somehow. I dont know why. 

Have you ever experience something like this? I feel like changing the office soon or maybe when the agreement ends. Im really worried why i have been treated like this. ANd its not also about professional work, usually people do not 'respect' my presence in the office as they would roll eyes when i speak or as i said - would disturb my speech and wont let me finish and etc. Why? SHould i have been more defensive from the beginning? Were those tests towards me ? Like inside- office tests to a new person? Why?


What do you recommend? 

Thank you 

A

 
Mar 1, 21 3:16 am
natematt

It sounds like you don't work in a very friendly office. I think you'll find that some firms are much better in this sense than others. Personally, I can't imagining not trying to be helpful to people, at least as long as they seem like they are actually trying to learn. It gets really frustrating and becomes not worth it when you try over and over again to help someone, but they don't seem to get it. It's hard to save someone who's drowning in this profession, because even if you do, you'll both still be in the water.. 

I'll be honest, it's hard to really get a sense of what you're like. Your writing is not the best, and I have to wonder if your communication may be making your work life more difficult. Would you consider yourself to be friendly, outgoing, helpful?  How is your performance, is there anything holding you back (besides perhaps your coworkers)?

Mar 1, 21 3:56 am  · 
3  · 
apple_pie_21

hello, thank you for your answer. the problem with this post is that i am not a native english speaker. i decided to post here because i prefer to be anonymous- its an international forum. when it comes to  being helpful and the work. when i started working in the office i thought that they would 'train me' somehow to become 'their employee'. nothing like this happened and it freaked me out a bit because every office ( almost every office) has different ways of working in particular software- either its autocad, archicad, rhino and etc). i remember i asked some friend about this and she told me that she has not been trained as well 6 years before but she had more 'easy way to make mistakes' because she started working here when she was a student- so they could let her somehow make mistakes. when i entered the office there were two people - a girl 1 year older than me who quit working here 1 year ago and - and other woman that asked me if i wanted REALLY to work in this office. i told them 'yes' why didnt i want to work here? its one of the oldest offices in my city. they told me ' you will see'. and it was something that gave a small alarm in my mind. the first one as i said doesnt work here anymore and the second one is more of a freelancer helping with projects - it changed during pandemics. i have thought many times about myself and my behaviour and i have analysed it many times. i know i have had drawbacks and some lacks of knowledge but i really till now dont understand why some of them were behaving like this. my overal 3 year- agreement finishes this year and i really think about changing a job. some people say that its better not to force the change now during pandemics but i guess i will try. its not like im a person who doesnt want to progress and change - i guess their perception of work maybe its kind of different. maybe because they work here more than 5-10-20 years , for them 2 years in an office is nothing . for me and for my generation when people change offices after 2-3-4 years its common. they travel abroad they work internationally.  of course i think about my perception of work and the level  of work. i have gained more knowledge and experience working here. and im glad i didt that . but i have no idea why it must have been so 'difficult and harsh'. during my university i also worked in offices as an intern and it was more pleasant. i really dont know. 


Mar 1, 21 4:09 am  · 
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natematt

To agree with everyone else, it really just sounds like a bad work environment then.

Mar 1, 21 11:52 am  · 
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randomised

seems like a toxic work environment to me, get out and look for a job elsewhere.

Mar 1, 21 4:15 am  · 
2  · 
apple_pie_21

thank you for the answer. i will try looking for something new.

Mar 1, 21 5:02 am  · 
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Wall-E

People can be Dick, best way would be to do mention why you are leaving. So it doesn't happen to someone who replaces you. But there is always better office, better environment. Just take a break 


Which part of world are you in? 

Mar 1, 21 6:15 am  · 
1  · 
apple_pie_21

hello thank you for the answer. im in central europe.

Mar 1, 21 6:32 am  · 
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Wall-E

*Take a break and leave this place 

Mar 1, 21 6:15 am  · 
1  · 
sameolddoctor

Please use paragraphs, please

Mar 1, 21 12:16 pm  · 
3  · 
Somenumbersix

Architecture is tough enough to put up with disrespectful people )) there are a few points though. 


1. You think too much about the boss and the coworkers. It is not about what they think about you it is about you, your comfort and your goals. You trade your time for money and that is the most important part of your job. Are you satisfied with the salary? 
2. You are concerned that you are getting less experience than you would like to. Again that means that you will make less money in 5 years than if you were getting enough experience. 
3. The thing about the license. Well no one ever spoke to me about getting a license at work. You are the only one who will benefit from getting a license and it is your responsibility. 
4. Same for the training. In my experience it is pretty “normal” to arch companies not to provide any training or mentorships. A lot of people are working overtime in this field and they don’t want to get more job to do. That being said your coworkers are expected to be polite and friendly. They might not want to spend extra time on you but they should make sure that you are comfortable in the office. 
5. But my main point is that you never should work in a toxic environment or somewhere that you are not comfortable to be. Why are you still working there? Are they that good on a resume? Starchitects? I would recommend to find a job before quitting given the market but you definitely should look for another job. 
6. Being a non native speaker is completely normal and if people mistreat you based on your background they don’t worth your time. 

Mar 3, 21 9:55 pm  · 
3  · 
apple_pie_21

thank you so much for this informative reply. its been a long time since i wrote this post. some things have changed. i have had a few talks with other older architects in private and they told me this office is 'like this' and for example the company is divided in half .those who, boss admires and those whom boss doesnt admire. so the first half gets promotions and additional money for their additional hours and etc and other half doesnt. i dont know if its ture but since a month i have heard many talks about working here as talks "it would be better for youur experience to leave the job when your agreement finishes- dont prolong it here'.i have heard a few of those comments not only now but at the beginning when i entered the office in 2019. randomly in 1st months people were stalking me on linkedin and started asking me this questions why do i wanna work here in this particular office. and by the time some people told me some 'shadow problems' and 'the other side' of the boss and the office- about being not payed and etc. but i am actually a person who do not listen and believe people in 100% and i prefer to experience sth myself and then decide. because i know that people are different and some of them could just misinform me to make me confused. so usually i dont participate in private talks when boss is out of the office- and only coworkers stay there. because i dont wanna be on someone's side and i know people would judge me based on my opinion in the office.

Mar 29, 21 1:10 pm  · 
1  · 
apple_pie_21

i wrote the second comment but it dissapeared here in the forum.

Mar 29, 21 1:18 pm  · 
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apple_pie_21

i wrote the second comment but it dissapeared here in the forum. I will continue here.

Mar 29, 21 1:18 pm  · 
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yeah your office sounds like a bunch of jerks. Look for another office.

Mar 29, 21 4:43 pm  · 
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