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Work vs play?

0110

Me- mid-30s single female client... Him- 50s smart sexy architect for my residential project... How normal is it to have a major crush on your architect? If the interest is mutual are there any professional rules against flirting.. or whatever? And how does one draw a clean line between billable hours and recreational activities that don't relate to the work?  I could listen to him talk about our shared hobbies all day, but I don't think I can afford to pay for the pleasure :)

 
Jan 12, 20 3:26 pm
archanonymous

I'd say it's pretty common, here's a few (in)famous examples:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mamah_Borthwick

https://www.archdaily.com/769632/sex-and-real-estate-reconsidered-what-was-the-true-story-behind-mies-van-der-rohes-farnsworth-house

If you are really tryin to make something happen - 1. check if he is single or not and 2. wait until your project is done - or fire him and hire someone else!



Jan 12, 20 4:17 pm  · 
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JawkneeMusic

i can just HEER the 1st chord of "Fell in Love with a Cadmonk(í)

Jan 12, 20 4:42 pm  · 
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Koww

don't get why women like old dudes

Jan 12, 20 9:38 pm  · 
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SneakyPete

If you're male, just wait a while.

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Non Sequitur

As long as his T-Square still works well... AMIRIGHT ladies?


 · 
Almosthip7

Does he do erection drawings?

 · 
Almosthip7

I have a good detail for shaving the nuts

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leonizer

pics or it didn't happen

Jan 13, 20 8:57 am  · 
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Luca1

hahaha

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midlander

this made my day. i hope it's some kind of trick on us.

Jan 13, 20 1:29 pm  · 
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5839

The name of the book and architect escape me, but there's a fairly contemporary biography/memoir of a residential architect with a chapter devoted to this phenomena (cliche?)  He tells a story about a female client sending him a whip, a stool, and a top hat, so he can play "lion tamer".

Jan 13, 20 3:05 pm  · 
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SpontaneousCombustion

That book is "Confessions of a Country Architect" by Don Metz.

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OneLostArchitect

sounds erotic 

Jan 13, 20 7:19 pm  · 
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tduds

Totally normal. Every client I have falls in love with me. It's one of the more annoying parts of the job, having to swat away unprofessional advances day in and day out, from women & men alike.

Jan 13, 20 7:34 pm  · 
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whistler

I worked in a fairly male dominated office as an intern and one of the principles ( mid 40's ) was divorced, regularly on the prowl and often had to sleep under his drawing table to recover from his last nights excapades.  He often referred to the "ultimate sacrifice" he made when he had to sleep with woman that could be potential clients.  It was a different era but he did keep the office entertained with his stories.


Jan 13, 20 7:47 pm  · 
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atelier nobody

Women of a certain age range grew up believing Mike Brady was the perfect husband and, knowing little to nothing else about us, assume we're all like him. Many dreams have been crushed when they found out the truth.

Jan 13, 20 8:09 pm  · 
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SpontaneousCombustion

That show was cancelled in the early seventies so women of that "certain age" would mostly be >50. The OP, in her 30s, is more likely to have been influenced by Ted Moseby than Mike Brady.

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atelier nobody

True. This comment wasn't specifically about the OP.

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SpontaneousCombustion

Sure, but it was hopelessly dated even by the late 70s. Non-architects younger than Boomers would have more recent sources on which to base their stereotypes. I'm in my 50s and think more to Indecent Proposal and thirtysomething for the pop-culture architect stereotypes of even my generation.

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SpontaneousCombustion

Balkins the "factual fact" is that the show has been on continuously, right up to this day. The issue isn't whether someone has ever seen it, it's whether it would be meaningful in forming expectations about architects. Anybody viewing that show beyond the mid 70s woukd be doing so ironically, or for nostalgia. Architects in more recent decades have usually been portrayed less steady family-oriented types than MikeBrady, and more as financially desperate and morally bankrupt (Indecent Proposal, Intersection) or as tempestuously and impulsively creative or romantic (Ted Mosby, Charlie Banks).

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0110

Thanks to everyone for the feedback.  Aside from avoiding actual romantic involvement, what are the norms for architect-client interaction?  The personal disclosure necessitated by the design process is surprisingly intimate; I am not sure whether to read affectionate reciprocation as an indication of interest or as a professional effort to put me at ease and help the project along?  If we share a leisurely dinner and drinks after a site visit would that be a perfectly normal business outing or would it imply openness to something else?  

Jan 13, 20 11:59 pm  · 
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Wood Guy

Wait until your project is done and then do whatever you want. If you act on your impulses now it will get messy.

It is relatively normal--my former boss once told me that part of his sales approach is to be either the husband or the father that our mostly-female clientele wished they had. He was good at it, too. 

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Non Sequitur

I believe we need full disclosure on these necessary personal disclosures of yours. Without them, how can we best address this issue?

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b3tadine[sutures]

Both can be true.

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Chad Miller

Don't screw your architect, pay the fee.  

Jan 14, 20 1:20 pm  · 
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threeohdoor

I can't tell if this is a deadpan Norm MacDonald delivery (in which case, brilliant) , or if some forests were missed during the tree visit.

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tduds

Welp I'm reading Rick's posts in Norms voice now. Thank you for this stroke of genius.

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Chad Miller

I assume it's all in a Norm's voice but several forests where still missed.

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b3tadine[sutures]

I thought this was about me, but then I saw "residential architect".

Jan 14, 20 4:09 pm  · 
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Chad Miller

Try to use your power for good old man.

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proto

first post for an account that was opened in Mar 2019?

bravo

Jan 14, 20 5:36 pm  · 
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Dokuser

about 60% of us females in my class find my studio prof. very hot lol

Jan 31, 20 1:07 am  · 
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Dokuser

he’s also like 38 or something like that so uhhh

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leonizer

If you've read The Rationale Male by Rollo Tomasi. He says that a man's peak sexual market value (SMV) is 38.

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joseffischer

I'll let my wife know. She'll be happy there's still time left, but will expect unrealistic progress.

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leonizer

let her know her peak was 24.

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tduds

If you've read any other thing, you'd know that SMV is a dumb concept.

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