For those of you who enjoy the concept of “carbon offsets” and the application of Band-Aids to flesh wounds, we have a new idea for the harvest of our world’s great botanical resources. Now, messing with the rainforests comes with its share of environmental backlash. I mean, sure we have to deplete scarce, non-renewable resources and habitats (after all, that’s at the essential core of the Amazonian logging practice), but do we really have to be so careless, so wasteful about it? I SAY “NO!”
The dendrocide program relies less on machinery powered by ghastly fossil fuels, and more on the embodied gravitational potential energy of a mature tree for harvest. No longer must we burn gasoline to power manually-operated chainsaws; now the harvest of trees is renewably self-powered and automated. In fact, the natural growth of the trees triggers their own demise; we are no longer to blame for the destruction of the rainforest. Deforestation can now be a mass-assisted-suicide rather than the genocide it was previously. We have saved the rainforests…kind of.
text and image by Joseph Varholick
BuildingSatire is a blog consisting of architectural satire, cynicism, and humor to alleviate the tension and pretension in professional architecture.