i think you should show how anthropological theory influenced your thinking about architecture. like all schools, the gsd is interested in how you think first and foremost.

i would shy away from saying i "love" architecture or have a "deep interest" in architecture. That is already evident from that fact you want to spend 3.5 to 4 years studying it. Instead, you should really start talking about what architecture means to you. What is architecture? Can you even define it?

Errors and somewhat sloppy syntax, overall impression of haste and lack of editing. Hope this wasn't the actual one sent out.

Too disjointed overall. It's as if you typed bullet points then expanded them without much thought and inserted what you think the ad com wants to hear. A few hooks unsupported by specifics then repeated again without specific details. Can't tell what you really want to do in architecture--don't skirt around purpose or intent by being vague or overly broad. Clear, bold statements with concrete examples. Quality paragraphs over what reads like a resume rundown. What's driving you? What keeps you going two years in and burned out? What can you offer besides being a good student with some initial experience? What does it all mean in the end, after school and tears in the future?

It's as much a quest of further understanding yourself as it is for them. The letter reads like an undergrad essay. Figured at this point, you ought to be a lot more focused on something since after this degree, it likely is your set career path. Take the time to revise heavily and craft words to your voice.