live your life with no regrets

go to NYC

life is short! Go to NYC it's a beautiful city and we need more teachers in the world.

But the reality is that your relationship may not be worth moving to NYC about just yet - but you may not know it yet or believe otherwise. Then you'll be cursing that you left your family and a well paying job.

so

Is it possible to wait a year then make a move?

A City Year sounds like a great way to ride out this recession (we hope it's only a year...). The boyfriend and NYC are frosting on the cake.

Go for it and have a blast!

as long as the bf has a job and you have a place to stay. otherwise couch surfing in nyc can be annoying as f*ck

i left a great job for my long distance girlfriend back in september. all i've found since is a temp job that has run out, and less than a week later she broke up with me. i live in my sister's basement. i went from great job, great work, 11k in the bank, to no job, no prospects for a job, no place, no money, and now, no girlfriend. i don't know if i'd say i regret the move, because like anything else it was a learning experience and at least i can say hey, i tried, now i know. but if i knew what was going to happen, i would have never done it. i don't want to keep you from your boyfriend, but in times like these, i think he should have at least some understanding about what's best for you. if he's in it for the long haul, he's going to help you and he's going to stick with you, then go for it. if you're not to sure if he's going to do that, then he should have enough understanding about your situation to tough it out long distance for another six months. i got a lot of pressure from my former partner to move and she wasn't willing to stick it out with me when the times got tough.

renmonk, ask yourself what your dream is. Once you find a clear answer, go for it with no regret...

sorry to hear bossman.....


renmonk... i would stay at your job until the last moment then bounce... give a 4 week notice, this way you can come back if needed.

i would not move for a girlfriend...... life goes on and you have to 'do you'.... if the relationship is strong then so be it... both parties should understand whats better for each.... even if it means breaking up..

not sure i understand the urgency of this decision right now.

you suggest that the job in nyc starts in Sept. why not stay at your current job till Aug/Sept, then move? make as much, learn as much, get as much experience as you can, and then go to nyc. the City Year experience sounds interesting, so go for it as well.

if you have the means to live in nyc while doing City Year, it means you will be finished right as the economy should be coming out. sounds like a good plan to me.

but, as noted by other, probably the least dependable aspect is the personal relationship - so be prepared for that dynamic to alter and if it does, for it not to become a source of regret.

Thanks for the responses - just to clarify, I have to give them a response in a week. Which is why I'm freaking out about this now ans not in August!

Full disclosure: a big part of this reason that I applied to the location in New York in particular was the boyfriend....but it wasn't the entire reason. If we broke up, I'd still have a job and a guaranteed inclome (however small) until July. So yes, it's frosting on the cake, but I would not be dependent on him to survive. I'm confident in his level of committment.

I was intending to wait until the last minute to tell my bosses anyway...as a precautionary measure. :)

Can you live (in NY) on the "small income" you'll be paid ?

Isn't this the time to be extra cautious about the financial future ?

Isn't the "grass always greener" ?

Just asking. . .

Best wishes either way.

can you go back to your job, if shit hits the fan?

just as a precautionary plan

can you live on the small income in new york without sharing rent with b.f.?

that point aside, when you are young the moving around and the quitting jobs and all that is much easier than later on. as long as you can earn enough money to be satisfied you shouldn't worry too much about it.

the economy btw may not be back on solid ground in another year. i would not bank on it that's for sure.

I've been in this situation, but moved to a far less expensive Ivy college town between undergraduate and graduate school.

NYC isn't a place where you'll be able to live alone on a small stipend, unless your parents commit to support you if BF relationship fails or you intend to then move back home. Your economic dependence on BF may put significant pressure on your relationship.

Is move to NYC motivating by need to follow BF to maintain relationship, or is there a serious mature commitment by both of you?

Will both of you together be able to afford NYC living costs with your combined income? I assume so because he's already there, but is your BF job recession-proof, or could he be laid-off in 2009 or 2010 as well?

If you're comfortable with your answers, then make the move, but work in your present position as long as possible and save as much money beforehand as possible. NYC is extremely expensive, but it's good to experience other lifestyles and locations.

I'd be living with him, splitting rent, and I think I'd be able to make it without having to go into savings too much. But yes, I'd be very, very poor. Luckily my loans qualify for forbearance and Americorps would pay the interest.

MY job in NYC would be ironclad, recession-proof. He is an actor, but he's been making it living from temp work and a part-time job, so I don't think that would change. There's another roomate also, so rent would actually be quite cheap (for New York), somewhere in the $500 - $650 range each.

I think the only reason I'd even consider this has a lot to do with the fact that I'm 23, have no real possessions to speak of, no real "career" started, and I am interested in actively doing things other than architecture for a little while.

go for it - NYC is awesome, even given the recession and all that. these are the kinds of things to do before you've got more responsibilities (kids, pets, expectations of a clean place to live, whatever). it sounds like you probably have a stable family back home to help out in a worst case scenario, and the job sounds really interesting. architects need to get out more!

also be prepared to have some serious 'discussions' if not full-blown arguments about money... especially if you guys haven't lived together before. but it's a good thing for maturity, I think. it's very easy to spend a lot of money in NY. i once almost applied for food stamps there when i was making $200/wk (I think that was before tax). oh the days...

to clarify about the food stamps, because i think they are very important if you need it and you shouldnt feel ashamed or anything if it becomes necessary, but i think i got a raise to $300/wk that disqualified me.

Yes, I've been actually planning on applying for food stamps...no shame here

i used to make some hella cheese sandwiches from the g.ment block cheese back in the day.....

would you do it if there was no boyfriend involved? don't move because of this relationship, move because with or w/o him, you would have done it anyway-and if not, figure out what you would do instead

Go for it!
you are only 23 once.

Renmonk - DO IT!!! At the very least, the Americorp experience will be a great addition to your resume. Employers, in general, seem to like leadership experience, and I guarantee you'll get it. Hopefully by the time your contract is finished the economy will be healthier. Do you know if there is any way to extend the contract if things don't look so good?

And like others said in prior posts, I recommend not giving notice to your employers until you are closer to leaving, esp. if your goal is to accrue as much savings as possible before you leave.