the layouts are more web-appropriate than book-appropriate.

i don't know what you mean by that, 10. looks perfectly reasonable as a book.

a little dense, i.e. too much information. but it's arranged in an orderly way and looks professional.

Mark,
did you apply this year? if so, where? I think your graphic design ideas are strong. I might also agree that the format reads like a magazine, which may be what you were going for. I think based on where you are applying, there can be some magnification on some projects and de-centralization on others.

Looks great as far as layout.. maybe a little dense in places but pro...

what I have issue with is the professional work. Ya, its great to show you have competence and experience but depending on where you are applying I think it would behoove you to present a more generic picture of your pro life. You put yourself between a rock and a hard place because 1. most of the time schools will know you didn't really design that much of what is presented and 2. do you really want to present yourself as the designer of something so far from your personal work in your academic life... I mean we all can't be Bob Stern.

And just to pile on... loose the Starry Night Shoji forever! (sorry, major turn off)

...awesome feedback. thank you all. After working in an office I was conflicted as to how much professional work to show..so far work has been so much about the progression of a project..schematic through construction doc's (repeat)...that it has all but consumed my thought process...maybe that explains the magazine feel as well...otherwise, density has always been my weakness/strength. Thanks again i feel i've gained some needed clarity. ps. Shoji is gone ;)

is well done. layout is clear and competent, if not edgy. edgy-ness of course is not a requirement for a portfolio...so is quite ok...

if i was to offer a critique i'd say the text is trying too hard.

i would drop words like liminal and emergent as they don't particularly describe your work. a more direct and honest approach would be better, for me at least. the grandeloquence is killing me. better if you don't state world-changing claims of the work, cuz it is very hard to live up to the words...

i would also nuke the van gogh screen. which is, btw a byoubu, not a shoji screen. the work does not speak to me so much, but more than that the archi-babble is amazing. incredible turn off. i hope your profs don't write like that too...do they?

Thanks for showing your portfolio. Some of my feedback echoes some of the earlier comments, namely that some of the pages are too busy, careful with the archi-speak, and keep the professional stuff to a minimum.

In addition, I would like to see more of the drawings and models. To me the graphics, while well done, tend to overshadow the work itself. I want to get into your projects more, but this seems to require extra work on the part of the viewer. All in all, nice work and nice layout. I appreciate the overall look and the document clearly demonstrates a lot of hard work.

i second most other comments on here. keep in mind that it's a portfolio for applications, not a monograph - in the way you talk about your work, you definitely want to highlight your achievements to date and talk about your future goals, but keep the tone fairly humble. you won't be showing admissions folks much of anything they haven't seen before, so keep the language a bit less bombastic.

as for the professional work, i don't think you need it at all. you'll be sending a resume along with your apps, so they'll know where and for how long you've worked. i think images of professional work always have a lot of questions of authorship tied to them, both in design concept and execution, and so they are largely ignored by admissions committees. i didn't include a single image of professional work in my portfolio, and i did fine. i would only show it if you think it's going to give them a better picture of who are as a designer.

i think you're slighting some of your own work through the democracy of your layout - every image is roughly the same size and proportion with the same number of neighbors on the page. in each project i think you could identify one or two really stellar images, then go ahead and give them a whole page to themselves. you'll be limited to a page size of around 8.5" x 11" already, so you might as well let your best work shine through as big as possible. your concepts will also read more strongly throughout your book if there is some assigned hierarchy to the work.

i think you're definitely on the right track though - where are you looking to apply?

I appreciate the insightful responses. I am happy there is somewhat of a consensus on the critique. On my next draft I will think "humble" as I revise the text. I will also make sure to add some hierarchy to the graphics...

As far as schools go...I'm still uncertain but am planning a trip to LA in a couple weeks to scout out a couple prospects.

thanks_mark