first.. you should check spelling.. [sunlight]

I like the models, but you seem to show the same thing on pages 15 and 17.

Is there a reason for using so much black? How are you thinking of printing these? Black usually looks much nicer as a background on a computer screen.

The eye icon doesn't do anything for me. Did you design that, or is it from microsoft clip art? It won't hurt to explain that with a few words rather than simply showing you know how to blur it with photoshop.

In general, the look is very clean and simple. Thanks for sharing and good luck!

The eye icon doesn't do anything for me. Did you design that, or is it from microsoft clip art? It won't hurt to explain that with a few words rather than simply showing you know how to blur it with photoshop.

It's based on the Darwin "fish" since the project was a facade/logo design for Dr. Darwin Eyecare (a real eye doctor in Milwaukee). I included that project because it came in second in our little mini studio competition (the last few projects in that studio were done in a competition fashion) but I think that project might actually get purged in my next iteration. Or at least explained better and put in the end.

And yes I am getting rid of the black in the next version. It'll still be simple, but I want it to be clean while "popping" out a little more.

I'm also gonna throw in some 3d work now that I have some to show. I always get props for my model making but that's not what a lot of firms want to see these days.

Anyway, thanks for the crit. Hopefully I'll have something new to show by this week.

I respect anyone who is willing to audition (for a lack of a better term) their work for all to criticize, so for that Cuervo, I applaud your diligence and efforts. I particularly liked the black background, especially on page 13, 15, and 17. It didn't work to your advantage on other pages. I would suggest flipping/rotating or creating some sort of color contrast on other pages. For example, page 10 might look better on a white or off-white background – even better, your images seem to call out for some sort of contrasting color to compliment them (play with the color schemes and see what works). Balance the color of your choice with your images and create something inviting and sensual to the eye without compromising the quality of your work.

1st page text is way too big.

second page (and beyond), the text formatting is terrible- either drop the justification, or make at least a cursory effort at setting it well. You can adjust those settings on the justify section to not allow there to be sooooo much variation in the spacing, to disallow orphans, and turn off hyphenation, and it'll look 200% better. For example, page 14 looks just a million times better than page 2. This may be caused simply because your column of text is too narrow, allowing for too much variation between lines- sometimes there is nothing for it but making the column wider, or letting there be a right rag.

On your sidebar key things, it bothers me that the one on the first page has much more space in it than the subsequent ones.l

On the third page, you have two different colors of black. Oops, there it is again on page 13.

I wouldn't put the HABS project last. Ending on a positive note is pretty much expected, and while the HABS project looks technically good, it doesn't really display your creativity and what you are about as a designer. It's not exactly going out with a bang, even though it may be a fine project in reality.

- I don't think it needs a table of contents.

- As a general rule for ease of reading and formating as rationalist mentioned typically a column of text needs to average around 10 words minimum. So you either need to reduce your text size or widen your columns.

- On the full color bleed, Do you have a printer that does this? I've done full color bleeds in the past where I had to print on a larger paper size and cut it down... not fun, espeically if you end up needing to print very many. Kinkos does have big chopper deals but you really need to format it to be printed larger with crop marks that the images overhang so when you cut it you don't get little angled white edges.

- Also have someone else proof read it (it's too easy to miss stuff in your own writing), here are two sentences from the Equinox project that seem to be missing a couple of words:

"richness of the project would be achieved skin and material options."

"The façade’s double skin acts as a rain screen and allows from deep window mullions that distribute light across the space bellow."

I didn't read through all the projects.

- On the model shots where you use a black background, I'd either adjust and paint over those in photoshop to get the black to match your pure black background or use a different color next to those images.

if i can ask, what kind of job are you aiming for with this portfolio?

i agree with the above comments, and might add that if you have other work it would be good to see it. if there is anything that shows off your work since finishing school it would def be a help...

the model-making is ok, far better than i can do (i hate model making for presentation work) but compared to what my partner used to do in office (a starchitect) is comparatively rough. you might not be able to sell those skills to an office.

the descriptive dwgs (elvs and plans) are pretty good i think. not so sure about the perpsectives/sketches. sometimes they are quite nice, othertimes very rough. the uneven-ness is a bit off-putting...

the darwin logo is fine as far as i am concerned, though i don't get why you blurred it. that doesn't communicate anything to me. nor does the sharp version for that matter...since it already exists in elevation why repeat it in orange?

the descriptions don't always work in your favor (not just for the bad spelling which is very annoying)...as an example, the library text features context very prominently as the design concept, but dwgs completely ignore it...i imagine you have looked at the context and actually did create a language distinct from the surroundings as you describe, but the images show it in isolation (even the windows are blackened so you can't see out, in spite of describing the facade as lively)...which lead me to think you are not really interested in context. you don't even show the parking lot you write about...which is quite odd to me...and it is a consistent approach in all of your work...which is a pity cuz it seems spatially you are opening the buildings up to something...would be nice to know what exactly that might be. similarly, simply saying something doesn't mean it is true. using library as example again...you claim there is a hierarchy and that this is used for some kind of function, but i don't see it....the whole building looks rather even all over, really...

in similar way i find it odd to read that your boat school evokes the classic modernist box on pilotis. it doesn't for me. i like the design, but the description is telling me a message that is not consistent. it looks like a team-x inspired piece to me, and a nice one at that, maybe with some eames or smithsons as influence, but not modernism at all...more off-putting to me is the idea that the most important points you make in the text are about the special effects...the floating illusion, etc...frankly i would rather read about what the building does for its users or to change/work with its site than how it works as a graphic design...but that is my own personal pet peeve.

finally, since you clearly know how to photoshop things you might think about jazzing up your model pics, removing the carpet some of the models were taken on and maybe cleaning things up a bit that way. the cardboard base sitting on the black ground adds thickness that doesn't exist and needn't be shown...i also wonder, didn't you build context models along with your building models?

anyway, quite decent projects (and kudos to you for the courage to post your work online), but the descriptions and layout might be better rethought to show of the work. right now it is fighting the effect more than anything...

here's what i think...

i would cut much of the text, because frankly nobody reads. i would condense it down and sell the projects harder with less.

i would also put it on the right side of the page.

i like the projects except they are all done in the same manner. ie their doesn't seem to be an exploration of different ways to do your thang. of course, maybe you found it already.

also, the projects seem rather small conceptually. where are the big shiny buildings with holes in them? i like the darwin eye.

in similar way i find it odd to read that your boat school evokes the classic modernist box on pilotis. it doesn't for me. i like the design, but the description is telling me a message that is not consistent. it looks like a team-x inspired piece to me, and a nice one at that, maybe with some eames or smithsons as influence, but not modernism at all

You know I never heard of team x till now. I did think of it as the modernist box, but my own interpretation of it. I should clarify that and all the text.

the model-making is ok, far better than i can do (i hate model making for presentation work) but compared to what my partner used to do in office (a starchitect) is comparatively rough. you might not be able to sell those skills to an office.

I know. I'm definitively putting in some computer renderings I've done since graduation. I really regret ignoring the modeling software while at school.

Thanks guys! And keep em coming.

I like the black and also the white. The drawings look great, employers will enjoy the effort. Not everyone is looking for mad 3d skills, theyre seeing if you can communicate visualy. If you can draw, you can learn 3d, or acad or etch a sketch even. For a first job portfolio its a B. The front page text is too big - I like the text block on the Taliesan page. Good Luck.

This is actually job # 2. At this point I am confident in my CAD work, and I know how things "work" now in an office (I'm an assistant project manager, althougth I still get payed entry level...hence I want a new place).

Hence I want to make my portfolio as impressive as possible, to woo employers from more creative firms than the one I am currently employed in.

Hi CuervoMuerto ,
Here are my comments.

Studio 410 Fall
Here are some ideas/tips for you to consider. Label everything! Label the rooms of your building. Right, now I have very little idea what the spaces you designed are used for. You can put the names right on the floor plan or add a key. Label the axon as well. You may think it is obvious but one of the ideas behind a portfolio is to make it understandable to the reader which in this case he or she, will be deciding your employment or acceptance to a school. Perhaps, also include if the drawings where hand drawn. If it was hand drawings, I would be impressed, maybe because I don't have the patients to do it. Your elevations are nice but add people and trees to give it a warmer feel. Label your perspectives I have no idea what I'm looking at.

Studio ???? Fall (darwin eye care)
Again label everything. The site drawing does not tell me quickly were the building is located. Label the streets and poche your building with a different color. Don't forget a north arrow.


Pretty much more of the same for the other projects. Also, your sketches looks fine for a sketch book but not for a portfolio. I would expect to see more quality sketches. Redo them. I'm not a fan of reversing the image of the elevations and floor plans with a black background. Your last project on your portfolio the Taliesin looked much easier to read. But that could be just a personal preference on my part. And it’s a huge waste of ink.

Since, your last school project was spring of 2006, I am assuming you are working now. Well, add some professional work. Also, take what you have learned at work and incorporate that with your portfolio. You have every right to redo your projects and visually make them better then the originals. Redo it in cad or 3D model the project. Good luck.

Oh ya - what streamline said. Profesional work even redlined CD sets, if theyre your drafting, go a long way to showing your skill level. Dont look at it as they want a cad monkey. We are all cad monkeys or evolved from cad monkeys.

the people who will hire you probably aren't going to give two shits about this...but:

you should avoid writing in the first person. this isn't a note or a script for an oral presentation, it's a business document.

The transitions between pages are a bit awkward. It would be nice if there were some registration linking the book. I would recommend a two tone background that could potentially serve as some registration. I especially like p12-13 because of the two tone. I don't like on page 6 and others how you have inserted thumbnails. I would maybe consider inserting thumbnails in the white space on 12 and 13.

I like p14 and 16 but the accompanying pages don't seem proportionally correct. I don't think centering the images is the solution. I would use p11 as a reference not only because it is full page but also the technique of photographing the model. There is depth, all the photographs should read this way unless the are ariel. I would redo the photographs on 6/7, 13, and 15.

I don't like any of your sketches and based on them know you could do better. I think they are just overdone. Nix the rendering and do them in pen similar to how the plan on p18 is done. This could be done very quickly if you traced over them and making sure to place emphasis on a single element.

I also agree with dumbing the text down. Your portfolio should read visually with labels to reference.

Cuervo, good stuff and thanks for posting.

My crits:

1. Lose the black backgrounds for you're drawings and re-invert them. Drawings are way easier to read black on white (line weights and whatnot) and your drawings deserve that treatment. Don't worry if it looks a little boring, El Croquis is the nicest arch. mag I know and it def. isn't boring because they let the work speak for itself.

2. Condense. This may be ok for an academic portfolio, but realize for a job you have about 30 seconds to sell you're work when the hiring partner puffs through it. It must be way shorter. I'd say limit 2 pages per project.

No one mentioned this, and you may not see it in your own writing, but in the taliesin HABS project, you should say these drawings will be placed in the Library of Congress for "posterity" and not "prosperity."

I agree with those who advise writing in the third person. Additionally, caption your work with, or mention somewhere the amount of time each piece took (roundly) and define which portions of the collaboartive work you performed more specifically.

Finally, think of this not as a showcase of artistic talent (that aspect should be secondary in the design projects) but as a demonstration of your design process. Show work which show you made a decision contributing to the final solution. These ought to be arguements you present to the jury. As such you need to show your logic visually.

If you want to show stand-alone artwork, show it as single pieces seperate from your design process.

go panthers

Go panthers indeed. Who are ya Chase?

I will have a little work in progress 'folio up by then end of the week...

cm,
how did u get all those pages into file size less than 2mb?

InDesign PDF export options. I just played around to get one that gave me god resolution for web and a relatively low file size.

great work. sorry to say the portfolio does not do it justice at all.
really, it seems you have a great sense of proportion and scale, but the layout of your portfolio is really not working for me.
The index page (the first page) - are you serious? with all the effort you've put into your work, it looks like you did not put any into the layouts themselves.
the layouts of the elevations look like they've been pulled out from a monograph circa 1960.

sorry for the acerbic comments, but please, please do justice to your work!

I didn't read all the previous comments, but here's what I'm noticing:

1. The titling on the left edge is not done very well. Separating fields by periods without spacing is a bad idea because it makes the words connected by periods seem related, which they are not. For instance, it reads "Fall (2004.410) (Studio.Burns) Park (Library.Critic) Kapla Silva" which isn't what's intended. In addition, it all seems crammed together. Let it breathe a bit.

2. Don't justify your text. While compositionally, it looks nice to have squared-off blocks of text, the legibility of the text itself goes way down when you have such widely varying spacing. If you feel you need to have the text justified then you need to go in there and adjust the tracking and insert hyphenations so that the spacing doesn't vary so wildly.

3. White on black will waste a lot of ink

4. White on black architectural drawings don't work for me. I find sections hard to read with white on black, and I think line hierarchy doesn't come through as clearly. The sections with the white ground plane and black sky just seem... wrong. I don't know how to explain it better. Everyone is used to the black-on-white architectural drawing conventions, and then to reverse everything seems unnecessarily confusing.

5. I'm confused about why the blurred logo is there.

These are the things you need to fix, but there's a lot I like too. Your model photos are especially great.

Just finished a new version, let me know what you think guys.

Click

One thing I find a bit confusing is that the title page for each project is the second page of the project. I guess if you're going to have double sided pages then you'll see it when you open to that project but it will be on the right hand page. It just seems a bit confusing if the book reads from left to right to switch that up. I mean I figured it out but it took me a minute.

it is very clean...

is it set up so that each layout is its own page? or is their going to be a binding going down the middle of each layout? it's important to pay attention where that break will be...

my biggest critique is that you don't show any process... if i was reviewing the portfolio (for grad admissions) i'm much more concerned about seeing your thought process rather than the final result...

why did you get rid of the studio/instructor/time info? i was going to say you should add the school name to the first version we saw. vado's right about descriptive text being not-so-impt, but the basic information should be provided.

new version somehow seemed less engaging than the first one, though certainly more clean and crisp looking.

where r u going to apply.
you need to do something about the image qualities. graphic design. what is the story of the portfolio. a system of logic.

they are viewing 400 + portfolios. i am not sure if your will stand out. You will have hard hard time to get into any ivy or top 10 schools.

sorry, i am just being honest. good luck.

i think the whole thing is too simple.

Thanks very much for posting. I'm applying to M. Arch programs and am always interested in seeing other people's work.

Not an architect (yet) but used to be an editor. Didn't read closely but caught this passive voice on the last page, "The drawings on the following pages have been worked on by me on some form or..."

Oh it's just torture on the ears. Do have someone proofread it for you.

some very interesting comments and crits!

was just wondering if you guys could also post some of your portfolios as well for us all to see? apurimac, ep, vado, etc...?

that way we could see realized versions and perhaps learn from you all

that would be great! :)

Cuervo,

In my perceived order of importance:
1 - I think you need some more diagrams and process.
2- Drawings could use a little color, people, context. Let some of them breath a little, i.e. the eyecare perspective could be made into a large collage with people, etc... and it can fit an entire page.
3-Interior perspectives, sure the exteriors are nice, but I would like to get inside, specially in your last project.
4- the eyecare wall, looks like you spent a lot of energy on it (even detailing it), but I do not understand why it is so important. Do not get me wrong I tend to like it, but I need to and want to understand what your intentions were.

Thanks for the feedback guys, specially Quilian's. This iteration was kinda rushed (I told myself I would make a new portfolio in a day), which is a bad thing.

new version somehow seemed less engaging than the first one, though certainly more clean and crisp looking.

How so Steven? I don't know if I still think including all that instructor info is critical, but why is it less engaging?

Again, thanks for the feed back.

OK, here we go....

*cover page, track your name back in, and either take out the word 'work' or do something different with it. It doesn't look so good to have the name justified until you can barely read it and then 'work' orphaned directly afterwards.

*your mixtures of having all-caps set next to all-lowercase confuses me. One or the other, plus sentence case for your descriptions, is plenty of variation and hierarchy. Plus 'IL' should be capitalized even when everything else is lowercase.

*on your site plan, can there be some cone of vision action? The placement of a number without any reference to the fact that each view is looking back at a single building is akward (though technically understandable). Also where the numbers are placed in relation to the thumbnails is troublesome. Try bringing them to the right of the thumbnails, just off the edge, so that we aren't getting different interactions for each one.

*try for more consistancy in your labeling- sometimes the label is very close to the image, sometimes it is further away. And the close ones are too close. Sometimes the label is on the image, but most of the time it is off. Try to find a happy medium and apply it throughout.