Last year I moved to Switzerland. Love story. I’m totally filled up with enthusiasm. Current state of profession here is really making me forget the downsides of my old country by general quality of work and efficiency.
While already being an expat girlfriend I finished my first project of one complicated house on my own for my own company in the old country but now I’m on a search for a job in an office (at first just to integrate). I’m practically a housewife at the moment, doing some parametric architecture studies, learning how to script, learning new languages while everyday preparing imaginative oh-so-tasty lunch for my husband-to-be and also thinking of a family.
I am of course randomly socializing and asking people about job experience and so on. I haven’t met any architects in one year. If I don’t count one who never practiced and did MBA and lost all the visual characteristics of an architect (tiredness, black clothes, general ignorance about everything on this planet). Some people tried to introduce me to one “girl expat architect”. But she doesn’t find time to meet because she is working day and night trying to sustain in a foreign country. Oh yes, her paycheck is about one quarter of my husband’s software engineer one, she doesn’t have a social life and at 30+ can only afford to be a roomate.
In one year I switched from starving artist to supported girlfriend. I used to be successful, I used to be able to go great lengths for a project, I’m smart and certainly not giving up. But I only know architects with broken homes or single ones or couples who live in the office. It looks like architecture is a pain in the ass and I would be crushing all the beautiful things in my life to play that game again. My boyfriend would someday love to be a housewife but at the moment this profession looks totally gloomy (socially), without payoffs (money) or any kind of potential (intelectually).
I don’t NEED to work or do I?
If I were you, I would just keep trying to get your own projects and maybe write and research on your own time. Shit, thats a perfect opportunity to write a book, or do some competitions. Why work for someone else if the money is not that important to you.
Enjoy being in another country. Are there any other ex-pat spouses you can commiserate with? And if you do start a family, you will be surprised at how easily that *does* become a full-time job.
ok, I'm going to play the devil's advocate then and ask: if you give up your work now, how will you feel about it in 5 years? 10? 20? Will you really be satisfied being a housewife and dilettante? And frankly, what happens if this relationship falls through and you are left unemployed AND unsupported? It definitely all sounds rosy at the moment, I'd just encourage you to think about what your longer-term goals are and make sure that you're not doing something that could hold you back later on.
Here is my suggestion to many of my architect friends. Marry rich! Ha! Just joking, but it looks like you are doing good, and have a good guy that doesn't care if you are a home maker or making 100k+ a year. You are starting off on the right foot there. Discuss with your partner what you want to do, what your goals, drives, and passions are. What do you see both of you 5, 10, 20 years from now? What will both of you be doing?
Nothing wrong with starting a family. Just know it will spin everything you know and ever want to do around 2x and 1 more time over!
Don't know if this relates but I moved to a tough area in the U.S. One where there aren't many jobs, etc. Also a love story, In this part of the woods, most companies stick to their own kind, aka people that graduate from said State and the local schools. So for one I am a total outcast. So any job opening, you know its going to be preferred to a local. Out of luck I found a connection, the smallest one ever, and turned it into an opportunity. I have a great job now that I am happy with, from an amazing connection of a past professor I had. You will be surprised from connections you or even your husband may have.
My motto is... just float, something will bound to happen. Take it day by day and enjoy life... and no where more beautiful than Switzerland... I wish I can say the same.
You sound harsh... we're both from socialist backgrounds where not working is considered indecent. And we're both dedicated to our work a lot. But Switzerland has a long history of this anti-emancipation and we both kind of like the quality of life it brings. :))))
It's just that at the moment I would need to work twice as hard as him for (much less) money we don't need. He will dump me if I return to smoking little nervous wreck I was :).
so you just got married? and are already wondering about your situation.. good luck for the next few decades xD
but I'm sure many girls would do anything to be in your spot.. don't have to worry about money, supporting oneself or surviving day to day, but do anything you wish to :)
I can definitely understand the desire to work, but there are tons of people who need to work but can't. Perhaps you can find volunteer for a social cause you believe. That could expand your local network and become a great resource.
Oh my god, I actually live in the part where everybody have bizarre rich-people-problems. Social problems get deported or get integrated and employed. But thanks, I appreciate it.
expattie, are you just showing off? your life is cool. you don't need to change anyhting. just make sure you get something in case you get divorsed...))
What's with everyone worrying so much about divorce? I know there's that "50% of all marriages end in divorce" pseudo-statistic floating around out there, but the actual divorce rate risk for white women with college educations is actually slightly less than 10%. Still bad, but nowhere near as bad as half. The general population divorce statistic isn't even 50% anymore, and that includes all the lower class, poor, and uneducated (who divorce at far higher rates if they ever marry at all, skewing the aggregate average).
Sep 21, 12 2:19 pm ·
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"the actual divorce rate risk for white women with college educations is actually slightly less than 10%"
Yeah but this is obviously an ambitious gal. It's only a matter of time before she tires of this schmuck and and starts looking for bigger fish. Divorce is inevitable.
Come on. I'm not snobbish. Though I live in a rather wealthy part of the world, we're not wealthy at all. Nor were our families. Never. Free and good education was the only thing that worked for us. Plus CH ranks as 1st in OECD equality regardless of social and economic status. I seriously don't see a need to go Mother Teresa out there right away.
Also back-up plan is not something a sane person thinks of before he/she gets married! You can't start by an end, jokes aside.
A back-up plan is absolutely something you should think about before you get married. After, not so much. But before, as in until, yes. Have a backup plan.
I wish I could say attitudes like Maria's are rare. It's no wonder men are getting so "commitment-phobic" with all this talk of back-up plans and avoiding dependence. The whole point of being married is mutual interdependence and support.
Sep 28, 12 1:45 pm ·
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Women architects and general life
Last year I moved to Switzerland. Love story. I’m totally filled up with enthusiasm. Current state of profession here is really making me forget the downsides of my old country by general quality of work and efficiency.
While already being an expat girlfriend I finished my first project of one complicated house on my own for my own company in the old country but now I’m on a search for a job in an office (at first just to integrate). I’m practically a housewife at the moment, doing some parametric architecture studies, learning how to script, learning new languages while everyday preparing imaginative oh-so-tasty lunch for my husband-to-be and also thinking of a family.
I am of course randomly socializing and asking people about job experience and so on. I haven’t met any architects in one year. If I don’t count one who never practiced and did MBA and lost all the visual characteristics of an architect (tiredness, black clothes, general ignorance about everything on this planet). Some people tried to introduce me to one “girl expat architect”. But she doesn’t find time to meet because she is working day and night trying to sustain in a foreign country. Oh yes, her paycheck is about one quarter of my husband’s software engineer one, she doesn’t have a social life and at 30+ can only afford to be a roomate.
In one year I switched from starving artist to supported girlfriend. I used to be successful, I used to be able to go great lengths for a project, I’m smart and certainly not giving up. But I only know architects with broken homes or single ones or couples who live in the office. It looks like architecture is a pain in the ass and I would be crushing all the beautiful things in my life to play that game again. My boyfriend would someday love to be a housewife but at the moment this profession looks totally gloomy (socially), without payoffs (money) or any kind of potential (intelectually).
I don’t NEED to work or do I?
Ha ha ha!
Good one, yo!
If I were you, I would just keep trying to get your own projects and maybe write and research on your own time. Shit, thats a perfect opportunity to write a book, or do some competitions. Why work for someone else if the money is not that important to you.
good luck!
What jla-x said.
Enjoy being in another country. Are there any other ex-pat spouses you can commiserate with? And if you do start a family, you will be surprised at how easily that *does* become a full-time job.
Sounds like you've already got a pretty sweet gig. I'd focus on that.
there there there there
ok, I'm going to play the devil's advocate then and ask: if you give up your work now, how will you feel about it in 5 years? 10? 20? Will you really be satisfied being a housewife and dilettante? And frankly, what happens if this relationship falls through and you are left unemployed AND unsupported? It definitely all sounds rosy at the moment, I'd just encourage you to think about what your longer-term goals are and make sure that you're not doing something that could hold you back later on.
Here is my suggestion to many of my architect friends. Marry rich! Ha! Just joking, but it looks like you are doing good, and have a good guy that doesn't care if you are a home maker or making 100k+ a year. You are starting off on the right foot there. Discuss with your partner what you want to do, what your goals, drives, and passions are. What do you see both of you 5, 10, 20 years from now? What will both of you be doing?
Nothing wrong with starting a family. Just know it will spin everything you know and ever want to do around 2x and 1 more time over!
Don't know if this relates but I moved to a tough area in the U.S. One where there aren't many jobs, etc. Also a love story, In this part of the woods, most companies stick to their own kind, aka people that graduate from said State and the local schools. So for one I am a total outcast. So any job opening, you know its going to be preferred to a local. Out of luck I found a connection, the smallest one ever, and turned it into an opportunity. I have a great job now that I am happy with, from an amazing connection of a past professor I had. You will be surprised from connections you or even your husband may have.
My motto is... just float, something will bound to happen. Take it day by day and enjoy life... and no where more beautiful than Switzerland... I wish I can say the same.
Thanks people!
wow, enchanted life! keep doing private work and have a baby. ))
might be a good idea to get married before this guy gets tired of you and leaves you high and dry
that sounds mean, but you're giving up a lot for this guy
You sound harsh... we're both from socialist backgrounds where not working is considered indecent. And we're both dedicated to our work a lot. But Switzerland has a long history of this anti-emancipation and we both kind of like the quality of life it brings. :))))
It's just that at the moment I would need to work twice as hard as him for (much less) money we don't need. He will dump me if I return to smoking little nervous wreck I was :).
so you just got married? and are already wondering about your situation.. good luck for the next few decades xD
but I'm sure many girls would do anything to be in your spot.. don't have to worry about money, supporting oneself or surviving day to day, but do anything you wish to :)
this problems reminded me of:
http://rich-people-problems.tumblr.com/
I can definitely understand the desire to work, but there are tons of people who need to work but can't. Perhaps you can find volunteer for a social cause you believe. That could expand your local network and become a great resource.
Oh my god, I actually live in the part where everybody have bizarre rich-people-problems. Social problems get deported or get integrated and employed. But thanks, I appreciate it.
expattie, are you just showing off? your life is cool. you don't need to change anyhting. just make sure you get something in case you get divorsed...))
What's with everyone worrying so much about divorce? I know there's that "50% of all marriages end in divorce" pseudo-statistic floating around out there, but the actual divorce rate risk for white women with college educations is actually slightly less than 10%. Still bad, but nowhere near as bad as half. The general population divorce statistic isn't even 50% anymore, and that includes all the lower class, poor, and uneducated (who divorce at far higher rates if they ever marry at all, skewing the aggregate average).
"the actual divorce rate risk for white women with college educations is actually slightly less than 10%"
Yeah but this is obviously an ambitious gal. It's only a matter of time before she tires of this schmuck and and starts looking for bigger fish. Divorce is inevitable.
Rich bitch, yo!
oops, i can't even spel "divorce" even though I've been through one! )))
Jokes aside - always good to have a fall back plan. Never allow yourself being fully dependent on someone...
Come on. I'm not snobbish. Though I live in a rather wealthy part of the world, we're not wealthy at all. Nor were our families. Never. Free and good education was the only thing that worked for us. Plus CH ranks as 1st in OECD equality regardless of social and economic status. I seriously don't see a need to go Mother Teresa out there right away.
Also back-up plan is not something a sane person thinks of before he/she gets married! You can't start by an end, jokes aside.
thanks for calling me insane expattie... )) i have a feelign you are quite young. hope everyhting works out the best way for you!
Ok. Let's say "sane" first time round. I'll add variables next time if necesarry....
A back-up plan is absolutely something you should think about before you get married. After, not so much. But before, as in until, yes. Have a backup plan.
back up plan? just score on the prenup!
Thank you professional practice class.
I wish I could say attitudes like Maria's are rare. It's no wonder men are getting so "commitment-phobic" with all this talk of back-up plans and avoiding dependence. The whole point of being married is mutual interdependence and support.
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