. . . well, speaking from my own experience - my best was my worst when a professor exclaimed that i intenionally performed bad to make the professor look bad.

how the hell do you make a professor look bad when the professor is bad? if i'm not learning anything, i'm not learning anything to be able to perform.

however, learning from this i decided to disregard all professors and just follow my bliss - it works and i later took that professor's studio that talked smack and let him have it. he talked behind my back about me being in his studio, but i didn't care. i just liked what i was doing and later turned out to be one of the best studio's i've ever had. you can't learn architecture, but you can learn how to think. . . well, in my case at least.

"I think you are trying to hard."

one proffesor of mine
looking at a house i made,
but he didn't know who had made it, replied to another professor,

,......what is that ? BATMAN'S house ?...........

it made me consider, working harder

I made an ass of myself by laughing uncontrollably/not making any sense in front of the jury. The comments were not very pleasant…
The cause: a “good friend” was making obscene/sexual gestures in the background. He knows who he is! I nonetheless had a great time, and remember that day very fondly!

i don't think i'd take this as a bad comment. it's rather good.
if someone said that to me, i'd take it as meaning that the ideas are all there but you just have to make it more concise and weed out the unnecessary...

i hate it when profs act like they're having personal vendettas against students. do your job right.. dammit. it's not supposed to be a power trip. i think i've grown a heart of stone. bring it on.

. . . sometimes a student needs a "bitch-slappin'" to get them on track, though. if the student can't tolerate the "bitch - slappin'" - then they haven't learned anything. maybe i'm just a bitch that likes to get a slappin perhaps, but in return i learn a lot. it's the slappin' that's harsh.

i for one like the rawness of critiques. it somehow has given me the 'heart of stone' mentality. it helps with fears of presentation. after multiple critiques from bitter architects, i've been able to overcome my fears of presenting. i hate it when i have friends from business or comm talk about how tough it was to prepare and give their presentations. or how 'mean' their professor may have been. i would love for one of them to present to a panel of architects. i think they would run home to mommy with their tales between their legs.

I had a critique with a two person jury, one of the jurors loved my project, the other hated it. I mean absolutely hated my project. he spent twenty minutes describing other professions that people that cant handle architecture could go in, one of the being a secretary in an architecture office. I, along with my professor and the other juror were completely flabbergasted by what this guy was saying. so I decided to poke some fun at some of the projects this juror had licked and picked up a pen and drew a box with a door and a window on the wall and stated that I could draw and design the same crap half the people in this school do design and draw but I wanted to explore what architecture is and can be. he was a little offended and got in my face. This is where it gets good, I am 6'-4" and 235 pounds, the juror was 5-8 maybe and about 175. I had a bit of an advantage. before anything could happen he was pushed back into his chair by my professor and the other juror. I was asked to leave after my presentation and that juror, who was a professor at the school was not asked to return as a professor. it was one of the funniest things I have ever taken part of in the school of architecture, and all of my classmates still chuckle about it to this day.

yahoo for overzealous Adjunct professors and their funny ways

. . . the guy who dislocated a student's arm? or something like that? or was that choking, i forget. . .

i think the worst i ever witnessed was first year studio. the project was a 'music club' and one particular student had pushed the 'visual metaphor' a bit too far making his floor plan literally the shape of the musical instrument involved. it was too much. i didn't know this kid but evidently he was a transfer student....the only comment made at his critique was from the director of the program who simply said with a very grave look....'someday you'll have to explain to me why i let you in here'...ouch.

on another crit...same day, actually...(must have been something in the coffee or we all just sucked)...there was also the very blatant; 'that's the ugliest thing i've ever seen, bar none'. she didn't cry, though...i give her credit...first crit ever in design school....

being a good constructive juror/prof is tough...and some of the biggest starchitect egos in the business have been the most tactful in my experience...i was surprised.

Thom Mayne was an exceptional juror and a heck of a nice guy from what i saw...he and i physically collided in a hallway at Columbia once before a lecture of his...and he was funny about it, we both apologized excessively.

Back in Graduate School, one of my classmates (by far the worst student in studio) was told by a professor, "Your project makes me want to go on a cookie eating binge!"

Not sure what he meant, but I thought it was funny at the time.

the time I got a phone call from a classmate informing me that my professor would appriciate me showing up for the crit

the last undergrad crit i had could be my most interesting. we had a panel of 7 faculty members and the crit was scheduled to be 6 hours long. the panel was pretty neutral that day. they didn't give any freebies. all pretty tough for all the projects. no compliments to anyone. which was fine by me; it's a more constructive discussion that way. one of my former studio profs was a juror. he posed some questions and disagreed with some things i did.. blah blah. but then after i was done, i glanced over and he winked at me, with a "good work" kind of look.

i think we have to remember to always separate our work from ourselves when we present. if you take it as a personal attack, then it could be your outlook towards the crit's function as well.

. . . how do you know somebody wasn't peeling an orange next to him?

mmm oranges

there was a student who had a horrible project. after his presentation one of the professors flipped him a quarter and told him to go call his mom because he was not going to be an architect anymore...

now that is hardcore becasue it is a school run by jesuits

i heard the same thing at syracuse

really!

1. Worst critique ever is when a project doesn't have enough information to even be get a critique and the jury starts babbling about something else which has absolutely nothing to do with the project.
2. The other one is when professors are wresteling for a position within the faculty and they use your critique to talk about the state of the school or about certain situations which again have absolutely nothing at all to do with the project on the wall.

when the juror tells you after your first crit ever, that you should become a used car salesman.

when the jurors start ripping pieces off of the model that you have just spent the past 96hrs building

ouch

So mdler what do you now?

he buys picture books...

seemd some people were seguing inot a discussoin of my psychological characterisitcs, so i said, "enough", and we moved on to the next studetn's thing.

three good ones i've heard about

1. rumor has that Raimund Abraham walked into a studio - Pratt or Cooper I am not sure - grabbed a students model, intently examined it and then walked over to a window and tossed it.

2. a professor i respected used to write on crit sheets - this bizarre attempt by the school i went to, to be less confrontational - NO! and nothing else.

3. and lastly, after listening to a student babble on and on about their project one critic looked at student and said, "Do you love architecture?" This person was in their final studio.

The Raimund Abraham story I've heard has him setting a student's model on fire during a crit and sending the student to get a glass of water to "put that out."
I'm skeptical...

one crit I saw was this student's graduate thesis project, which was ok except for a couple of unfortunately placed windows overlooking the garbage area (it was an elderly housing project). The juror (who was new to the school and boldly trying posture himself in the way only the best assholes can) asked the student to let him know where he was moving after graduation so he could call the state board and prevent him from getting his license.

I have taken 3 studios, 1 degree project research and degree project at Pratt. So that's 5 crits, at least two of them have been simply phenomenal.

1. Advance des. with Deborah Gans: simply amazing. She would start yelling "Listen to me I wrote four books" at every single one of my presentations. Once we had her partner Matthew Jelacic that even went further and after calling my work "that bullshit they do at Columbia" wanted to convince me to keep listening to him by stating "who do you think you are, I went to Harward". Needless to say both these people were at the final jury: according to Mr Harvard my project was "vacuos. it's not even a bad project it's nothing", and according to Deborah, who graded it, it was a c+. well guess what, the project came in semifinalist at FEIDAD the same year, and was published in the catalog.

2. Degree project. Jurors were the vice-chair Caleb Crawford, Dan Bucsescu, director of the degree project program, and prof. John Lobell (best guy ever, go john!!). some already mentioned a situation like this: Dan hated the project and its author (me that is) while john claimed he loved it. I spoke for less than 10 minutes and the the two of them started an argument that lasted some 45 minutes. John was implying that dan was not in the position to give a fair grade given the fatc that he called the project "bullshit" and "crap" (obviously as bucsescu's comments escalated so did John's just to piss him off).

So here's teh real reason behind the fight: while exchanging emails with my DP tutor (Friederick Biehle, who at some point just didn't want to hear about my project) and with the chairman of undergrad arch. Anthony Caradonna, at some point I receive a message that was sent to my address by mistake: it was Caradonna saying to Biehle (and I quote):

"Fred,

I know this guy is annoying and makes things difficult...
It sounds like he wanted to do his own thing, and you may have
just given up on him, i understand, he's impossible...

to save further problems, just do us all a favor...
sit with him, you erica and richard and lorenzo, give him 20 minutes, for presentation and critique, give him his grade and kiss him goodbye... we don'tneed to deal with this guy any longer, he is a typical italian getover and since he is a transfer student he will probably never practice seriously in the U.S.

just give him a crit and a grade,no need for him to miss his exam and travel back and forth...give him a c- and call it a day...

anth"

Worst experience ever.
Made me wonder if anyone ever got a fair grade at Pratt.
I still don't know on what basis my DP was judged. Sure is that deborah's grade had a bad influence on my GPA though it speaks for itself... a c+ in a long list of A's in design studios doesn't make ME look bad.

This brings back memories, Sometime back in 1988

(... After presenting an all in all lame design, and simply BS about nothing, and with many in attendance, it then ended with something like this....)

Prof.: "you mean to tell me I should understand this?"

Student: "That's my concept and my project - there you have it".

(pause)

Prof.: "You can't suck and whistle at the same time!"

how can you not love a school that names the final project a "DP" (see Enrico's post). You show them how much you can take Enrico!

perhaps Mr. J3 could elaborate on his grand final presentation in South Beach with a full set of critics and local bureaucrats (circa ‘98).
By the way....drinks anyone?

from a one handed tutor (rumors had it that he found himself to be disgustingly simmetrical and chopped his left hand off. one of the best tutors i have ever had)

"you make me wanna cut the other hand off"

in a swiss accent. quality.

E X that has to be the be all end all of critic comments, i nearly split in half laughing! i think if i heard that i would have stood up and applauded.

i have also heard this

prf: so what does that tree on your site do?

student: it grows.

rest of class: try to cover there mouths as they burst out laughing

how 'bout this one:

prof: "explain your project in three words. . ."

student: (counting words with his fingers) "I don't know."

prof: "that's what i thought."

a classic.
-where is the parking?
-underneat.

critic "this project reminds me of a saturday night live skit called...."really bad idea."

This brings back memories, ALSO Sometime back in 1988...

Prof: "So what are the materials for your museum project?"

Student: "Mayfair & Bass wood..."

as you like; if a monkey can learn to type with his toes, so can you.

In my third year of design studio we had a project where the professor required a physical model. One of my classmates who wasn't much for putting the proper time in on projects gets up to present with no model. The first words out of his mouth were, and I quote, "I didn't bring my model because it is a peice of shit." Immediately the professor asked where it was and for him to get it. After about 30 minutes he returns with some soda cans, straws and a napkin glued to a sheet of cardboard with obvious wet glue. Then when he received his deserved F on it he fought with the professor over his grade.

Last I heard from this guy was when he tried to sell me on a pyramid scheme that I could retire before 40 from. Yeah, right.

i was a juror for a 3rd year studio before. my friend from israel- talented as all heck and miltitant as it comes was also a juror. said to a student in this heavy israeli accent:

"dude- i'm lactose intolerant. i drank 4 cups of coffee with milk this morning. i very much hope that the mens bathroom across hall has not run out of toilet paper. if they run out of paper, youre drawings are in grave danger."

then he got up, went to the bathroom, came back in 2 minutes- stood looking at the drawings for a sec and said-

"hand them over"

needless to say- we laughed so hard i almost blew a vein

ok mr. boira (perpetrator)
After not sleeping for 3 nights and having consumed large quantities of liquor (some of us also had some herbal refreshment...prior to) we had to present to a panel of City of Miami Beach Commisioners in addition to some Architectural Critics. Mr. Boira proceeded to make hand gestures as if oral gratification were being given, as well as anal pleasure motions (against column). Oh and I forgot the "bleeding wart references"...(our professor had a small blemish which he kept playing with for a while and was constantly bleeding, when giving us desk crits sometimes the blood from his finger would trasnfer to our drawings) all in the background where no-one except me was able to see him. Mean time I am presenting my project...greeeeat....
The same occured during our Final presentation, only this time "Bernard" and "Arata" were cirtics...

Top Three from one of Mies van der Rohe's own students, professor Takeuchi at IIT:

1. After a semester of moving over, cutting, changing, etc. The day before it's due he tells me, "You had the answer all along. At the beginning your first solution was perfect." Then why put me through all this shit during the semester you may ask, as did I. Without it, I would'nt understand that I had the answer already. Pissed me off back then. But love the whole exprience.

2. A bird flew into your model and made a nest.

3. It looks like what it is.

I sat in on a critique that was one of the funniest things i had ever seen. The student gets up and starts explaining what he had done etc. As the student beigns the presentation, one of the professors starts peeling a bannana and eats it through out the entirity of the presentation. After the student finishes his presntation and looks to the professor for input. This amazing man gets up slowly walks to the project, puts the peel of the bannana on the project and says in his deep greek accent, "there that is better." and proceeds to walk off.

It was the funniest damn thing I had ever seen.

stupid things heard/said during crits:

1) "it looks like liza minelli will come dancing out of that door at any second"

2) "we're not pirates"

3) "I should'nt have exploded that"

4) "it looks like the back door to a sex shop"

5) "you've just built a box to cook humans with"

We had a particularly bad juror for one of our reviews. He simply could not figure out a.) what the program was, b.) where it was located (despite everyone's numerous site plans), and c.) how to read a plan. At one point, while this man was making a fool of himself yet again, my own studio critic got up, found an extension cord that was hanging conveniently from the ceiling, fashioned a noose, and proceeded to pretend to hang himself.

i personally think that jurors most of times think they have to show "who's better, or higher educated, or more experienced" one in the room... still i had bad and good critiques...but most of times is a drag to hear them talking about a school project...cause at the end, its very hard to found an architect that can say good things about other colleague work... as we say here "siempre vemos la basura en el ojo del otro" = "we always see the dust in the other's eye"

so, jurors suck, and most of our school projects too...so i found this discussion a lil' but pointless and over extended....

when a critic hands you a negative criticism...

use the blowfish:

http://www.gsd.harvard.edu/people/students/student_forum/blowfish.html

what about the universal line that normally precedes a worst critique ever......
"um, yeah so for this project i really wanted the building to flow"