i think its these frustated jurors who have never seen concrete being poured or them getting laid since 15 years being perpetrators of the darkness and negative attitde that surrounds architecture as a profession too.

the world would be so much better without them

not speaking the language the the critic was speaking, and after a lengthy and emotional rant the understanding audience laughs hardily at your project, and you have no idea what it being said.

Happened to someone else. Halfway through a crit at UIC, Stanley Tigerman stopped a girl halfway through her presentaion, reached into his pocket, pulled out a quarter and handed it to the girl.....He said "call your mom and tell her you're dropping out of Architecture School". I think she tried to kill herself after that, unsuccessfully.

Yeah yeah, everyone has heard the "call your mommy" horror story.

In my first studio, one of the students couldn't grasp the difference between a concept and a theme. She decorated a loft to look like a jungle.

The professor told her "I've been to the zoo before, but this is the first time I've ever wanted to fling poo at the monkey..."

Luckily, ignorance is bliss and she didn't get it. Otherwise she might have cried.

Prof: Rational!? You say this is rational!? Rationality only leads us to the holocaust!

Prof: Why is that shaped that way?
Student: ...cause I liked it.
Different Prof: Now THAT'S refreshing.

hey i did well with the flow thing once. but it was real.

2. A bird flew into your model and made a nest.

yes, it's environmentally friendly.

Yeah yeah, everyone has heard the "call your mommy" horror story.

so the critic should have used the quarter to call his mom.

looking over these, i think the students are winning (slightly) over the critics.

overheard during a 4th year studio critique:

"Either your project is so sublimely genius I simply can't understand it,
or it needs a great deal more work"

last semester as a teaching assistant for 1st year studio, i had a student pass out and collapse on me...i was goin easy on him too, no more than gettin on him for not using scissors or some sort of sharp object to cut his sheets of paper...when he came to, he said it was too overwhelming.

good job.

Prof: "You read too many magazines."

1. "...you've done great violence to the earth.."

2. "...why you make it so ugly?.."

3.
Critic: "Why did you do this way?"
Student: "I wanted it to be different"
Critic: "Oh...well, why don't you make it GOOD, that'll be DIFFERENT."

My worst review:

Although all of three of the jurors reviewing my project didn't like it, they couched their opinions in relatively constructive suggestions/criticisms.

Then one of the jurors said:

"Your building is totalitarian."

I thought to myself a) Could she come up with a perjorative description that is at least MINIMALLY creative and not wholly cliche and b) who the f*&k was she to be telling me about "totalitarian" taste when she was wearing those ridiculous Philip Johnson eyeglasses?! I wanted to say to her: "Hmm.. Who designed and made famous the eyesglasses you're wearing? Yes, that's right: Philip Johnson. And guess what he was doing in Germany in 1936?"

Me:(flustered)* Um, I wasn't so much concerned with the context.

rE

oops

carry on.

Reviewer: You have just proven you don't read books.

Bah- that pissed me off. made me sound so stupid.

I've experienced a few bad ones as juror and as a student. Seen a few cry, seen a few try and cut them selves after with xactos - I like to refer to that they were re-designing themselves not attempted suicides.

the worse ones for me
undergrad

A very talented architect, who was in the eco game before it was cool after I presented my concept design for a housing project - wanted to remind me that "people have to live in there." Then went on a 20 minute threatise on architecture. I had a seat, then outside for a fag, then back inside - he hadn't noticed I left.

grad school

an emergency crit was called it was for a multi-functional civic building to house domestic court rooms. It was about 3 days into the project and most had yet to resolve programming issues since we also had to compose the brief.

Well most had pinned up full drawings plans, sections, elevations etc. I had a briefing diagram, a plan, and some perspectives - and a dozen concept models. Mr. hot shot architect comes in (another eco one) and begins his attempt to rip me a new one. I try to get a word in edge wise, to start my presentation, but he interrupts me continuing with the poor state of education. Finally when I think he might be done, I utter "dun yet?" Then tell him that the project is less than a week old and any complete drawings he sees on the wall is bullshit and reflects little of the project. My classmates were pissed, my dean of school was pissed - but they all knew I was right. I got full marks for that project despite getting "ungraded" for that crit. Said architect pretends he's never met me before and has called me several times about bidding for jobs on the town i'm helping to design...lol

Some mock turtle neck wearing fun-boy adjunct said my project would be embraced by developers. I went 2 or 3 minuets explaining how it could be phased and various uses brought online to ease initial investment, etc. I was excited they liked it - but it turns out in their snide primpy way they were being sarcastic. They kept giggleing like little girls during my presentation. I still take it as a compliment.

After graduation, my final project was in the running for an award. The cut was down to five projects (including mine), and one had to be eliminated, since 4 projects were to go on to the national award ceremony. I later learnt from one of the jury members that a certain professor (part of the jury- and rather powerful at that) took a short short look at my project, and just shouted at the other jury members "you've got to be fucking kidding me". That was that for my chances... The odd thing is that I am kind of proud that my project had the power to really piss of a prof - especially since I wholeheartedly disagree with her views on architecture...

I may be asked to serve on a jury this fall... Thanks for all the ideas!

prof: "you cant build over the alley"
student: "ccs did"

bam ....crash...pow......

injured student and a new term of defense called the "gator lock"....i should have threw in a few punches while i was in the mix

When in school I recall a guy who forgot to wear a tie on the day we
were making presentations. So he whipped one up out of drafting tape....and damn if the jury didn't even take a second glance at his tie. We had a real chuckle after studio.

Only limp dick pussies serve on juries. Real architects are out there closing.

one professor told me my project looked like a beached fish

Real architects don't make stupid, ill-informed, bigoted, misogynistic, xenophobic comments.

i'm just impressed by the phrase limp dick pussies. i get all kinds of imagery.

my previous firm had a really good ceo aside from the principal architect. he was always out there closing. i wouldn't call him an architect though.

not a word...model tossed straight out of the 3rd floor widow...
think it was 'character building'

Somewhere I read that Dan Kiley walked into a studio at Harvard and without seeing any work said " 95% aren't good enough to make it and should go home now"

I heard Mies told the Daughter of the Owner of Segrams that Ezra Stoller would take lots of pictures of the Segrams Building and he wouldn't like any of them.

That daughter would be Phyillis Lambert probably one of the most influential patrons of Architecture in North America. She has personally funded the CCA ( Canadian Center for Architecture ) out of her own personal fortune.

i got a bag of pennies and plan on starting a (found)donation