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#BadStockPhotosOfMyJob

111

I got inspired by this clickbait article and decided to look up stock photos of architects.

https://blog.artfido.com/worke...

“According to the blank side of this sheet, the contractor is building this completely wrong.”

 
May 20, 18 6:43 pm

New OSHA requirements mandate that hardhats be worn at all times, even back at the office.

May 20, 18 6:44 pm

Today’s BIM technology can instantly convert a hand-drafted floor plan into a photorealistic exterior rendering.

May 20, 18 6:45 pm
joseffischer

hah, he has no mouse, must be touch screen

Yeah, we really need to have a meeting with HR about that guy.

May 20, 18 6:46 pm

HULK SMASH YOUR TERRIBLE CONCEPT

May 20, 18 6:47 pm

The schools are really doing a terrible job of preparing graduates for professional practice these days. Our new intern isn’t even potty-trained.

May 20, 18 6:48 pm

“Should we tell the project manager that we do all this stuff on the computer now?”

“Meh, he’d just fuck it all up.

May 20, 18 6:49 pm

“So, uhh, is my name on that ‘Shitty Men in Architecture’ list?”

May 20, 18 6:50 pm
Sir Apple Chrissy

"yeah, yeah man. I reported you. Tired of you drooling over my forearms."

This one is actually accurate.

May 20, 18 6:51 pm

But the way that rolled up single sheet of paper is going to crumple ineffectually as it hits the model is hilarious!

my buddy Olaf Design Ninja was equally inspired, as follows:


May 20, 18 8:57 pm

Oh my. I had not seen that one of Brad. I feel a bit dizzy now.

David Hasselhoff is a great ARchitect!

May 20, 18 9:00 pm
tintt

Image result for architect stock photo

You aren't going to pay the last invoice? And now you need me to do what? Is this for fucking real?  


May 20, 18 9:14 pm
Sir Apple Chrissy

Note:helmet doesnt fit.

tintt

Image result for architect stock photoI'm not stressed. Not stressed at all. Why?

May 20, 18 9:22 pm
tintt

Image result for architect stock photo

Precision guesswork based on questionable knowledge. 

May 20, 18 9:24 pm
Sir Apple Chrissy

Yeah send the kid in. Hahahaha

tintt

Image result for architect stock photo

Where's that barf bag?

May 20, 18 9:31 pm
Sir Apple Chrissy

Or he just woke up

tintt

Image result for sexy construction workerGeneral note #26: All work shall be carried out by... this guy.

May 20, 18 9:37 pm
Sir Apple Chrissy

duh

I used this as my Tinder profile pic and got a lot of matches last night. Man are my dates going to be disappointed when they see me.

tintt

Hahahaha. Then you impress the ladies with your painting charm and all is forgiven or she isn't worth it anyways.

I wish my painting charm translated into sales. I'm running out of places to hang them in my apartment (curse of painting whatever you feel like painting I suppose).

tintt

Image result for engineer stock photos

Here's the barf bowl.

May 20, 18 9:52 pm
Sir Apple Chrissy

this shits on the interweb? hahaha

tintt

Image result for stock photos The phone has been ringing off the hook since I started my firm last week. It's just been sales reps so far but I think my luck is just about to change...

May 20, 18 10:51 pm
tintt

Image result for stock photos architect 

What clients see: That'll be $56,000 please. 

May 20, 18 11:07 pm
Sir Apple Chrissy

that's gold. I mean the post. I mean I can't ever explain to that what we do to the client.

proto

this thread is fire

May 21, 18 4:16 pm
Threesleeve

"In this area we'll use brick-colored scalloped vinyl siding, for a sense of old-world craftsmanship."


May 21, 18 4:23 pm
Sir Apple Chrissy

it appears architects do have humor.  Thank you david

May 21, 18 7:24 pm

Legacy?

May 21, 18 8:57 pm

.
May 21, 18 10:48 pm
b3tadine[sutures]

Image result for woody harrelson architect

Indecent!

May 22, 18 12:10 am
b3tadine[sutures]

Hot

Related image

May 22, 18 12:11 am

I distinctly remember this scene in this terrible movie. The girlfriend asks "What are you looking at?" and the architect archly replies "I'm concerned about this fenestration" to which the girlfriend says "Huh?" and the architect smiles condescendingly and says "Fenestration means windows" and then I roll my eyes until they hurt and deeply, harshly question why I chose to join this obnoxious preening profession.

Arch_grad2.0

Is this a young Kundig? Kidding...obviously

b3tadine[sutures]

white.

Image result for woody harrelson architect

May 22, 18 12:12 am
randomised

These pics are the reason people say "Oh wow, fascinating" when you tell them you're an architect...and when you tell them what you actually do they turn away like you have some kind of highly contagious disease.

May 22, 18 3:01 am
citizen

+++ Exactly

Non Sequitur

business, architecture, building, construction and people concept - close up of architect hands with compass measuring living house blueprint

"Straight edge or tape? nah, let's use a needle compass to measure this room."  Bonus points for using a super basic 1:10 floor plan.


May 22, 18 8:10 am
shellarchitect

if its good enough for a pirate.....

citizen

Is that a closet along the bottom? Or a small porch that's completely enclosed with blank walls? Either way, they're fired!

Volunteer

I think psychologists would have a field day explaining the hard hat with wearing an expensive suit and shoes on site. "Hey, Mr. Architect, could you come under this (muddy) crawl space and look at this foundation crack?"

May 22, 18 8:40 am
Non Sequitur

I do. What's wrong with dressing nice?

curtkram

i don't really see how leather oxfords can be all that different than leather cowboy boots. i don't have a problem wearing jeans on site, but more to the point i really don't want to have to manage 2 wardrobes.

Non Sequitur

I only have one wardrobe: Office dress with one pair of jeans and some pearl jam t-shirts. One of our office's associates proudly wears cowboy boots tho.

curtkram

do you think stepping in mud is different for the cowboy boot guy than the oxford guy?

Non Sequitur

do they sell spurs for oxfords?

curtkram

if they don't, they should. i may have found a kickstarter idea

Non Sequitur

Curt, put me down as an investor.

I'd send an intern down into the muddy crawl space and monitor the situation remotely from the helo while sipping a '92 Dom Perignon.

shellarchitect

are the oxfords snake proof?

RickB-Astoria

Personally, I dress for what the tasks at hand are going to entail. For most residential projects, I dress down from what one might expect to wear for a fancier meeting at a fancy meeting room. Then that comes actually to an advantage. I will usually have a black denim dress shirt or Carhatt jacket on if I'm going to have a dress shirt on under. The pants would be a dark color jeans or work pants because if I am visiting a site where I would likely be doing also a site visit and going into crawlspaces or attic spaces while also wearing work boots (not really the tall kind but depends on what area I am. In poisonous snake areas, I would have to be extra careful in terms of attire setup for extra "viper proofing". Think about it from a life, health & safety point of view. Contractors wears what they do for a reason. It isn't that they can't afford to buy business suits and all. They do have them but when they are going onto a work site environment they are going to wear appropriate for the situation. The point being, if ANY POINT in a work day you plan on going into a work site like going into a crawlspace, wear appropriately. Set yourself time between such a task upon completion and going to a task where you would be visiting a client in a context where dressing in a sharp suit would be appropriate so you have sufficient time to switch clothes and even a quick shower if you have to. Find a way to make time available and plan. For example, do a work site deal in the morning to be completed before lunch break. Then return home to switch clothing and a quick shower and return back to work at 1:30 to 2:00pm and have your meeting in business suit anytime from 3 pm and later. If you are an architect, you are probably salary worker so you may plan to work a little late. Bottom line: You make time so you can look good and proper for the context. It's all about planning for the situation. I don't have issues with having a wardrobe for a variety of situations. It is a matter of what you are doing more than anything else.

b3tadine[sutures]

what?

Image courtesy of Swarovski.

May 22, 18 10:34 pm
randomised

But he wears black, this must be a real one...

shellarchitect

libeskind?

So shardy!!!

citizen

This photo is obviously fake. He isn't talking for hours on end.

Volunteer

"On second thought, Mr. van Cleef, your drawings are fine as submitted. No changes necessary"

May 23, 18 7:41 am
tintt

Image result for architect stock photo

Do you even know what the summation of infinitesimal differences would look like?

May 23, 18 5:35 pm
Sir Apple Chrissy

I am sorry...what? (You could of said anything,still wouldn't of
heard you,ha)

RickB-Astoria

Sorry, was too busy looking at the model.

senjohnblutarsky

What model? I only see blank paper and a person holding it.

RickB-Astoria

You do know the woman photographed in the stock photos is a model (fine looking one in my opinion) and this same woman is photographed in a variety of photos in different attires.


Sir Apple Chrissy

you see man. you see, that's the bull shit I'm talking about. the whole time I thought she was an architect. it's all fake man, the internet, stock photos, etc...

RickB-Astoria

Yet, we can all be fake. All characters within a virtual world.

senjohnblutarsky

Rick, you do know that I was referring to a model of a building, right? And the woman can't be a model. She's wearing a hardhat. That must mean she is an Architect. All Architects wear hardhats, all the time.

RickB-Astoria

riiiiiiiight !

tintt

That lady? She's an engineer.

RickB-Astoria

Modeling engineer

b3tadine[sutures]

Definitely an engineer, no architect would be caught dead in heels that weren't Lou Boutain

b3tadine[sutures]

Stupid phone. Louboutin.

tintt

Image result for  busyarchitect stock photoNeither science, nor business, it's best defined as a lifestyle. An all encompassing lifestyle.

May 27, 18 5:54 pm
Sir Apple Chrissy

Love it

randomised

That picture makes me very sad actually. The kid is both comforting his dad and wanting attention, but all dad sees is his project he can't let go off...feeling sorry for both.

RickB-Astoria

The narrative I sensed is the kid wanting his dad's attention but Dad can't let the project set aside for even 15 minutes for his son making him kind of a douchebag. 


tintt

All-encompassing means it is the kid's lifestyle too, and not by choice. And the kid knows better but the dad doesn't. The look on the kid's face says, I guess I'll take myself to the museum then and you can stay here and adjust little lines on a page. But the dad could be an awesome person to go to the museum with, being an architect. Sad, yes. That's why it's funny.

joseffischer

Don't take your work home... oh, you work from home? build yourself a little shed in the back, leave your work phone in it, lock the door, and give your spouse the key until morning.

Non Sequitur

Tintt, I can't wait until I can take my little one to the museum and annoy him. My wife has grown tired of my explanations over a decade ago.

RickB-Astoria

NS, I take it she is not an architect or in the field of architecture other than via marriage.

Non Sequitur

^correct Rick. She is a kindergarten teacher.

RickB-Astoria

I figured because if she was an architect, she'd be slapping you with the T-square and stabbing you with the compass.

As in one of these vs. a navigation compass.

Joking aside, she's cool if she hasn't reached that point with you yet.

randomised

Took my one year old to the museum this weekend, we all had a blast.

citizen

"Gee, Dad, you weren't too busy when you were conceiving me."

Almosthip7

My dad bought my first compass set. Just like the one above, except it was a Staedtler.

whistler

That photos a bit unfair for Architects as this situation all the time and it's not just because it features an architect. Lots of Dad's bring their work home. I worked from home for about 7-8 years while my kids were very young. I have two distinct images one of my young some venturing into my office ( the garage ) for the first time with wide eyed bewilderment and genuine enjoyment to see that I was home, he had never figured out that I was there all day long and started a long term tradition of him coming home and sitting beside me to do his "homework", basically colouring.

whistler

The other was a when I had created a small studio in another part of the house ( so that I couldn't walk to the office in slippers and a house coat ) and all three of my kids walked in after visiting a friend whose dog had just had puppies and each kid walked in holding a four week old Bernise Mountain Dog and asked to keep them. Now, not sure about you folks but I am a total sucker for puppies and after that the whole office ( 3 of us ) and my kids played with these puppies for about 2 hours. That was beyond cute and tons of fun, and no we didn't keep the puppies but ended up getting our own a few months later.

b3tadine[sutures]

I'm offended by the light blue shirt.

Cat's Cradle. 

Fortunately I had the exact opposite experience. I remember my dad in charette, watercoloring a huge rendering, making up stories about the people he was drawing and the outfits he was giving them. One guy got a red and white striped shirt, 40 years befor Waldo.

May 30, 18 2:42 pm
Sir Apple Chrissy

Both my kids, especially the 7 year old always ask when i work from home 1 day a week (exlcuding weekends) "we doing any job sites today?" They said its an adventure everytime.

tintt

Your elementary age kids prob have more experience than most interns with 3-5 years experience in an office. The rule of billable hours doesn’t allow site visits.

tintt

My daughter launched sketch-up last week announcing, “I’m going to make some money.” I was like, good.

Sir Apple Chrissy

site visits are 100% billable, especially if I have a small 7 year old getting into places one cannot reach, ha....my 10 year old downloaded sketch-up, made a box like chicken and called it a day.

tintt

I was always told I wasn't allowed to visit job sites because somebody needed to stay at the office to draw with 98% billable time or the office wouldn't be profitable. Ya mean they were pulling my my chain?

Sir Apple Chrissy

Come on. I have had entire contracts based on site visit and admin bullable hours.

tintt

Well you aren't exactly the AIA firm of the year either.

Sir Apple Chrissy

Wait you can get that unless you in the AIA, non?

tintt

I know all about it.

tintt

Death threats over text message? Being an architect is not what I expected...

Jun 1, 18 6:18 am
curtkram

must have been a good text message

it’s not a job

Jun 1, 18 8:02 pm
Sir Apple Chrissy

they met in college.

Jun 1, 18 10:13 pm
Sir Apple Chrissy

"vidal sassoon." - young guy

"i know. love it." - old guy

Jun 1, 18 10:15 pm
Sir Apple Chrissy


SO SERIOUS BJARKE INGELS.

Jun 1, 18 10:16 pm
Sir Apple Chrissy

"later, you me, white castle, and a some Gropius!"

Jun 1, 18 10:17 pm
Sir Apple Chrissy

"yeah, was totally sloshed last night."


Sir Apple Chrissy

fuckin' millennials...

 


Jun 1, 18 10:38 pm

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